I saw a man which I wanted very much to be connected to at the local shopping mall about two years ago, or even more than that.
He was my other roommate when I was in New Zealand, Alan Chee. A Malaysian, he was a nice guy and we were good friends.
Alan Chee, Norman Joe, guests, me, Ang …..
That was a very quiet city, with sheep population higher or equivalent to human population. I had hated the place, as it was much too quiet for an “up town” girl like me.
Yes, I was supposed to be married at the time. My passport consists of my married name as well as my maiden name. I had already been customarily married away.
But what I wanted to tell you was, that I was unhappy there. I wasn’t used to living abroad, and although the air was fresh, and the people extremely friendly, I hated every minute of it. I was still very Chinese, they did not mind me at all, even though I always criticized the locals. I think it was because they saw that I was trying very hard to be happy, and were much too unassuming for a complicated mind like mine.
I like things complicated. I like non straight forward thing. But most importantly, I had not wanted to marry the man who brought me there. It wasn’t my choice to leave Singapore; I never wanted to leave my own country. I had turned down several invitations to study abroad, yet I remained in this city.
Still the same, I don’t like to leave home.
I am brought up like this. I like to read, watch the television, and play games like the sudoku. You could say that since day one, I had prepared for old age, where I would have to live alone until God decided that it was time to take me home. Some people actually die in their sleep.
Chapter 2
But in New Zealand, I had some happy moments when I got used to the quietness. Every Friday I would be dropped off at a yarn store where inside there was an old lady, but not quite old, who taught me knitting. I bought wool from the lady at her store, and she was patient. She would start to knit, and I would follow suit. Soon I became quite good at it, and I was able to knit the more complicated patterns.
I wore my own knit wear, but was pictured in some of them.
So that I was very proud of myself. The knit wears are still with me, as they carry sentimental value. But I had not a chance to wear them, as I had grown very fat since I came back to Singapore. Singapore is a hot city, but I like it hot. People who gave me lifts always tell me, “Don’t go in yet, it’s very hot,” meaning that the seat is scorching, and I would respond, “I like it hot, the hotter the better.”
I don’t know why. Perhaps that is why I had refused to study overseas. My parents had brought me to U.K. to allow myself to decide if I could fit into the environment. But when winter came, I was freezing cold, and I wasn’t pleased with the fact that I had to put on the gloves, then take it out, and then with the gloves, you can’t use your fingers to feel the texture of things. I know that I hate trouble. But of course, as time passes by I would have gotten used to it.
I guess I didn’t arrive in U.K. early enough. I was there first in 1976, winter.
My mother and I staying at “Lee’s Place” ….. that is the name of the residence
And this is how I look. A jacket designed by my mother, with some woolen top and pants. That coat was tailor made. In Singapore you couldn’t find thick clothing.
The first station was Gloucester. It was our default station, since we lived near Gloucester Road. Singapore had no MRT then, and my first impression of the tube was in U.K. It was only in 1983 or thereabouts when Singapore built its own MRT, which we call the Mass Rapid Transit, so that I had now forgotten the name in U.K.
I loved the seats, they were velvety soft, unlike ours here, which is hard. Of course, in cold weather they have to be thick, and in a hot city here, velvet would make it hotter. But why don’t they use leather then? Ah, expenditure is higher. We don’t have the money.
I am often stuck with my past in U.K. and Singapore, as I can’t forget the culture there. Perhaps it is because I am completely anonymous there, and people ignore me completely.
Yes, you could say that I like to be ignored. I don’t like casual meaningless conversation, like where are you going? Have you had your lunch? In plain English, it could mean “which is your next job?” Of course, that is provided when you are telling others that you are leaving. Ok, “have you had your lunch?” then the next logical question would be, “what food do you like?” and “where do you normally eat?”
Nope, I don’t like to tell others what and where I eat.
My father used to tell me that I should never quarrel with the waitress. Yes, he is right. On the way out, she might spit some saliva into the plate when she brings it to the table. But I have since carried it one step further. If the woman is annoyed, she might just curse into the plate whilst she is carrying it out. I am scared. Damn scared of food poisoning.
No. I am not paranoid.
I believe in home delivered food. As the delivery guy can be traced.
But most important of all, I do not believe that anyone would want to poison me.
Yes, perhaps in those days, my father has been told that someone was trying to poison us.
Chapter 3
Back to New Zealand.
Flowers are a girl’s best friend …. not diamonds …. which lasts forever …..
I got to know the locals very well. They are nice. And they treated me well. The only reason preventing me from wanting to carry on and to migrate there is still the lack of night life. At twenty-four, I was still attached to the boys that was in Law School, which I thought I would marry one day. Law was my language at the time. But Chinese words and phrases still pop in to visit me from time to time. I can’t help it. I had it in me even before I went to law school.
Unless I cut ties completely with my old Nanyang Girls’ High School classmates, I can’t move into the English society without recourse. Short of killing them.
The minute I arrived in Singapore, I felt oppressed. The air had a layer of humidity indescribable. The air in colder cities is always fresher. So now, I welcome the rain today. It was pouring, although a little inconvenient, I am quite happy here.
Yes, the rain has come. And my brain releases a Chinese song ～～～ 大地回春 ～～～ meaning the spring has come.
Yes, the air in Singapore is much better nowadays, although the PSI seems to be higher today. I don’t know why I am saying that. Perhaps it is because I am having the air-conditioning on more often nowadays, and I get more cool air.
We say “cool” all the time. And we hope that by saying so, the air will be cooler.
Oh yes, on the climate trend, I had better explain why I refused to return the Nespresso capsules back to the sellers for recycling purposes. It makes my kitchen dirty as I have to keep it in a special place. The cockroaches come, and I believe it is because they smell leftover food.
I still take coffee, if you want to poison me, you could try buying up the Nespresso company. But I think it would be too troublesome for you. You manufacture so many types of flavour, but they still taste the same to me. Anyway, poison doesn’t kill.
The spiral staircase was behind me on top right …….
Chapter 1
My CCTV in the house is not working today.
It is ok. There is nothing that anyone would want to take from my house, unless he is desperate to go into jail. But no sane person would want to be incarcerated, unless he has run out of money, and he wants the state to provide for him.
The most expensive item in the house is Buddy my dog. Yes, I value him more than anything else in the house. He is priceless.
Things become priceless when you cannot get a replicate or even a similar item. Or when it is attached to some memory.
My recent memory has always been poor. That is because I tend to forget the present. I do not make an effort to remember them. So, you shouldn’t ask me what I had for lunch, or who I spoke to yesterday, as I would not be able to tell you, even if it were immediately before that. All I can tell you, is that I eat too fast, or maybe I was thinking of something else when I was eating. But I think the best answer I can give you, is that I don’t enjoy food.
“Then, may I ask you, what do you survive on? If you don’t eat?”
I try not to pray too often. Deuteronomy 8:3 says that man does not live by bead alone, but by every word that comes out from the mouth of the Lord. My mother is the one who prays, and I objected to her doing this. How would she know what I want? Her petitions might have been inconsistent with mine, and it could void all that effort I put into praying, and after much scolding from me, she gave up. And she prayed only for herself nowadays.
I live by vitamins, they are useful even if they have no effective purpose, as they give me the assurance that I am being looked after by the pharmaceutical companies. They are just powders grinded and put in capsules form, but when they arrive on my plate, they become food.
Chapter 2
I was at the Church bookshop the Abby this afternoon, and I flipped to the Revelations, straight away as I became very excited after I could see that it was the future wanting to creep into the present. That was a Book that no one understood and is not being attempted to be understood. If history repeats itself, then we need to go into Genesis every morning where we began and start from Day One.
“You start from Chapter 16,” a woman came up to me and said, “No, it’s too soon!” I shouted and then I realised that I was alone in the Abby, and that she was merely a stranger, without any associations with me.
The cashier left the moment he saw me. And only after I raised my voice then he peeped up his head from under the counter to attend to me, “why are you hiding from me? Why didn’t you tell me that you are here?”
Meekly he replied, “I thought you saw me coming in,” “since when?” I almost shouted at him.
The cashier heard me, and he was satisfied that someone was in the Abby with him.
Today the police are still looking for the murderer of Veronica. And the file lay quietly amongst the rest of the unsolved crimes.
Buddy was there me when I came home.
Chapter 3
My husband Arden never forgets to pray. As his father once told him before, “Pray my child, and God will forgive you.”
On the other side of the continent, in a small town in Sulawesi, the husband of Veronica was waiting for his daughter to be born. They call her Lady Pink even before she was conceived.
Lady Pink was pretty and sweet when she was born. Small and tiny, her father gave her his set of beady eyes and immediately told her to stay still until someone comes and picks her up. She waited in the small crib, and she heard noises in the bedroom. But she couldn’t distinguish who they were, and what they were talking about.
Soon my mother’s best friend Lydia came to visit me. According to the locals, her name was Elizabeth, but still, Lydia did not carry me or remove me from my tiny little crib. I waited until a nice benevolent woman came by and picked me up. She immediately brought me to another lady, and said, “your daughter”.
Lydia blinked her eyes several times, whereupon she was brought to another woman who had been lying next to her for quite some time. The woman was tired. But yet she took over and held me in her arms for a while, then I was put back into the crib to be sent out for the nurses for some other scrubbing jobs.
The nurses were mumbling, “in your anger do not sin,” that was the first sentence she heard in the bathroom where she was being cleaned up.
And then they walked up the stairs and carried her upstairs. So there! This must be upstairs, “one step at a time,” she heard one woman telling the other. This is the most logical, derived answer. Lady Pink was beginning to use her brains.
Chapter 4
Annie didn’t know where they brought her to, for they were so quick and efficient that, within minutes, she was returned to the crib. Afterwards, she heard someone talking again.
Veronica blinked several times, before she went up the bed to rest. Now she remembers the spiral staircase, where her mother carried her up in the small town to the neighbourhood school and the helper Maria sitting beside her trying to snatch the baby girl away from her,
“Give her to me,” “No,” and they tussled along the narrow winding steps of the staircase. It would only take one lapse of the hand strike and disaster would have happened.
The car was cursing along the muddy and stoney road. Arden was on his way home.
And then suddenly Veronica heard God’s voice, “Pray my dear, and God will forgive you.” She released the grasp, and Maria let go of the baby. “The child belongs to her mother,” God said to Maria this time. Thank God there was a net below.
Afterwards, Maria went and sat on the church bench which Arden bought from an antique store, the helper sat on it, she prayed and Annie saw tears streaming down her face.
Instantly Lady Pink realised that Maria was a proxy of the devil, but her mother continued to hire her.
To kill.
Veronica sat on the spiral steps, having expanded all of her energy, and having to calm her baby down, she left Maria and went up into her bedroom. She lay the baby quietly in the cot, and then she went straight into the wardrobe and cleared his things out.
“He must leave by midnight today.”
Sebastian was at work, he heard the phone rang, and he quickly picked it up, knowing that it was from his mother-in-law.
“Go home straight away, and pack all your things,” she ordered him.
“Why?” Sebastian asked.
“Don’t ask any questions, we have no time,” Mother said.
“But I am at work now,” Sebastian was unhappy.
“Just do as I say.” Mother ordered again.
Sebastian noticed that his other colleague who shared the same room was looking at him, and he said, “Michael, my wife is ill again,”
“Ill? She was very well when I visited her last night after work, remember? She even joked that you should find another wife to give you a son, since she has closed her factory already,”
“Oh, you mean the production factory?” Sebastian replied.
“What other goods are you producing?” Michael answered.
“Can’t think of any other,” the husband reminiscent.
“Ok, the key to my drawer is here, together with the key to the other files, and then, if you don’t hear from me by 4:00 p.m. this afternoon, please apply for leave for me for the day. Tell them I have urgent things to attend to at home.”
Micheal picked up the form from his in-tray, and he wrote, “trouble at home,” under the “reason” column. Of course, Sebastian has already rushed off for the day.
The ride home was surprisingly smooth, he beat four traffic lights in a row, and he left the car outside the lane without even parking it in the garage. He didn’t want to use the gate, as he was afraid to let the occupants in the house to know that he was coming back. He knew that the atmosphere at home greeting him would be unfriendly.
Chapter 5
Maria was standing just outside the kitchen, and she was wearing a black top and a pair of jeans. The jeans had several cuts from the knee and below, and threads were strewn across the open holes. Apart from the unusual attire, the woman’s face was pale and her hair was frizzled, as though she had just woken up from a nightmare and needed a good scrub.
But her demeanour was calm. She spoke, “Sir, Marm with Marm, Marm hospital ……”
Sebastian was shocked, but he remained calm, “Where? Which hospital?” “Who drive?”
“Don’t know sir …… a man …… ”
“Car long or short, big or small?” Sebastian wanted to establish if it were an ambulance.
“Err …… don’t know sir,” the woman stammered.
“Shits!” Sebastian rushed out to the car, he wanted to drive out to the hospital to look for his wife and child.
Only when he started the engine, he then realised that he had not a clue as to which hospital they might have gone to.
He went back into the house again, and then he saw his wife on the front porch of his neighbour. She was talking to the owner of house number 13. The man was in the car whilst she was standing by the passenger’s side with the door opened. In her arms, baby Annie was seen kicking away, but the pair paid no attention to the fuss.
Common sense told him not to react, but Sebastian rushed forward, and he picked up Annie from Veronica’s arms, almost pushing her onto the car with the engine running at full speed. The car charged out of the porch with the reverse gear, leaving Veronica bewildered. Sebastian brought Annie back into the house, and there his mother-in-law was waiting.
“How come you took so long?” the mother-in-law asked.
“I came as fast as I could,” the husband said.
“You know, she almost gave the baby away, to the neighbour ……” he continued.
“What nonsense! She was just chatting with a friendly man.” She retorted.
“Too friendly.” Sebastian pronounced, leaving his mother-in-law wordless, he turned to the helper Maria and shouted, “next time don’t tell lies,”
“Sir, …… I never ……”
Annie started to cry ……
Just at this time, Veronica walked back into the house. Sebastian had no choice but to surrender the baby girl back to her mother.
“What did you do to her?” she asked quizzically.
“I wanted to feed her,” he choked up an excuse.
“Feed her? How? Don’t you realise that she takes breast milk?” Veronica laughed.
Sebastian muttered under his breath, bitch!
And then the other neighbour the next door’s German Shepherd started to bark, “Woof, woof, woof, ……
Chapter 6
“Where do you want to go?” asked Maria.
“Anywhere, just take me on a bus,” Veronica said.
A bus? Why does she want me to accompany her on the bus? The helper thought to herself.
The bus driver Yan who stopped right in front of the two was perturbed, as he had never seen Maria before, he too also looked too expensive to get on the public transport, but nonetheless he stopped the bus.
After Sebastian boarded the bus with Maria, he found a group of Filipina helpers seated, as though they were waiting for him to turn up. They were all yaking in Tagalog. Automatically he sat next to one of them a lady. He turned and saw the one seated next to him on the left and couldn’t help peeping at her handphone, since the minute he sat down she started texting. His eyes beamed when he found that she had the name of a lawyer on her wallpaper and listing her as a contact.
Huh? What is that supposed to mean? Did she come here to institute legal proceedings? Or was she already in hot water?
Puzzled, he asked, “do you need my help?” for he was also a lawyer. To which she fired him at once, “You are not my witness.”
“Huh?” “Of course, I am not your witness, where is your Madam’s house?”
“In the Philippines.” She spoke.
“Oh then, you must be here on a holiday,”
“No, I am here on a mission trip ……” she said.
“Oh, are you a missionary or something?”
“Nope, I am here …… just to take some photos …… “
“Ahh then enjoy your holiday,” Sebastian gave her his final word, before adding,
“Btw, don’t forget to carry your passport with you when you leave.”
“At this instance Sebastian took out his Sanrio card and checked for the fare. But it says, “Simply Go” when he tapped.
“Are they telling me to leave now?”
Just at this juncture, the Filipina lady came up to him and said, “Sir, you forgot your wallet,”
OMG! She had a wallet in her to tempt me as well!!!
But of course, I can recognize my own wallet. So, Sebastian got curious, “how much money do you have?”
“Enough to buy you dinner,” the woman made an unequivocal offer.
“Err …… Sebastian tried not to offend her, as he realized that Maria was watching him.
“Tomorrow.” He pronounced a date, and he promptly fled the scene, forgetting that Maria was still up there.
“Hey! Wait for me sir!” Maria yelled.
Yan heard, Sebastian almost got his foot tracked in the doorway just before alighting.
It was only three miles later before he could catch up with Maria.
The next day, Sebastian called Maria up and said, “Maria, next time please grab hold of my hand when I go out from the wrong door,”
“But sir, Molest!”
“Huh? Who?”
“If I grab your hand, means I molested you, but if you allow me to garb means you consent to it,”
This time Sabastian got fuming mad. If you cannot touch me, I cannot touch you. You please leave at once!
“Thank you sir!” Maria was so pleased with the final order that she went into her room to pick up her luggage. Sebastian was shocked that she needed no time to pack her luggage.
Oh, she got it all planned.
Chapter 7
I pilloried Veronica the moment I got home.
“Where is the monkey?” Sebastian asked.
“What monkey?” his wife was innocent.
Sebastian was reading the newspapers before he got home. His colleagues were making fun of him. “Ah Meng! Is this what you used to call your wife?”
They realized that I have escaped from the zoo this morning.
“You removed the monkey from the window grill this morning; it is always there; it is always there hanging on the grill bars. The third diamond from the right, and the fifth one down. I distinctly saw it there, it has always been there, I don’t move it around.
Veronica cried. Why would I want to do that? Why would I want to move a monkey about?
I know that you did it.
“Do what?” Veronica shouted.
“Move the monkey!” Sebastian shouted as well.
“Ok, if that’s what you want me to do,” the wife went up.
Chapter 8
She looked pristine, almost as though she was a bride on her way to the church, except that she wasn’t in a white gown.
Sebastian looked at her, you couldn’t say that he wasn’t mesmerised. But he kept his cool, “call the lawyer,” he said.
Father used to tell me that if you find a woman pretty and you are not jealous of her, then it means that you must have been a gay.
“Huh?” and then immediately she picked up her device from her pocket and rang someone.
“ …… “ this is the first time he had heard her speaking in Tagalog. It sounded like a waterfall coming down from 3 meters high. Why I used 3 meters as a measure no one knows. But I think that it was about the right height for her resonance.
He let her finish. And then he asked, “who were you speaking to?”
“Isabella Monika“
“Who is she? And why are you calling her?” Sebastian was curious.
“You said call the lawyer right, sir?” Veronica replied.
He almost fainted. “I was taking to madam, not you!” “And what did you tell the lawyer?”
“Err …… I told them that my husband wanted me to move house.
She must be out of her mind. So, I can tell the lawyer that she was insane. He felt complacent again.
“Stop.” Mother said. Veronica felt something of a shot across a bow.
“What did you see on the bus the other day?” Mother-in-law asked.
“A woman was hurrying me down the bus. As a result, I couldn’t find Maria.”
“Why did you entertain her?” Mother said.
“I don’t know.” He replied.
“Probably it is because I wasn’t wearing my wedding band.” Sebastian suggested.
“Yes, if the husband wears a ring and the wife is found not wearing it, it is a suggestion that these two do not want to declare their marital status.” Mother said.
“So, were you wearing the ring when you boarded the bus with Maria the other day?”
“I can’t quite remember.” Sebastian replied.
”Was Maria wearing hers?” Mother asked.
“Mar …… “ Sebastian turned and shouted, before he realised that the help was no longer in the house.
So, it must have been the lady in the bus who called Maria, to tell her to leave my employ. And then she contacted the lawyer in her handphone to advise Maria on what to do next. Why did Maria want to leave?
Sebastian decided to indulge in some pastries. He went into the fridge to look for some cakes and sweets. Instead, he found two bars of chocolates staring at him. He took the Mint Intense dark chocolate before realising that it was too sweet. He immediately threw it away into the nearest bin.
Finally, Sebastian heard his father’s voice, “in my father’s house there are several rooms, otherwise I would not have told you about it.“ This came straight from John 14:2-3, the man recalled.
He woke up from deep thought, his face inclined to the right, and he opened his eyes. Waking up, he saw a woman’s face. OMG! This seems to be the woman that he had heard it from, several times over, and it comes straight from the All-Saints’ Church.
NO! NO! NO! I am born now!!!
Chapter 9
I have my own little body and a crib to keep me safe. How can you say that I was still in my mother’s womb? Could this crib be in another house?
As far as I am concerned, this crib is my house, and this is much better than the womb that I was prior to coming life.
I love this life, and I love the sound of music. Oh yeah boy, my neighbor Julie Andrews was the one who keeps playing the piano. I tried to recall the past. And I quite remember that I had no neighbours whilst I was resting peacefully in the nice wrapped up zone that I was in. My right ear zoomed in ……
“Where did you get your degree from?” A woman asked a man, “Emmanuel” he said.
“Why Emmanuel? You come from England right? Emmanual is it in England or in Singapore?”
“Of course, England, you dummy!” the man said, followed by, “Couldn’t you tell from my accent?”
Immediately I traced the source. Finally, I gave a sigh, and I let go of the haunting thought. And then I fell asleep again …… quietly and silently I calmed myself down, and then I waited for a signal to wake me up.
“Wake up! Wake up!” a woman came before hurrying away again.
“Hey! Can’t you stay for a while longer?” Annie started to get angry.
“But I am still small and my palm is tiny,” Annie spoke.
But no one heard me.
No one can read your thoughts, baby.
I did not cry.
Finally, I gave up, seems like after several decades, two nurses came. One stood on the right and the other on the left. They saw and they laughed at me, “so small and she wants to fight hahaha …… “ and they walked away. I was left alone.
Evening came, and it was day two.
In the morning Lydia came over again. “Veron, if you like buns, I could get it for you, “Immediately?” “Yes, this instance.” I waited for a long time, and then I decided it was time I eat, “waaah, waaah, …… I cried.
“Keep quiet, will you?” I heard my mother cried, and I cried even louder ……
Finally, she gave up, and she carried me up and got out of the bed, and she passed me to another man. Man looked at me and he smiled. I was happy again.
Chapter 10
Sebastian started driving his own car, allowing the Google to guide him.
“Straight up, turn left, go straight, until you reach the bend, and then U-turn, followed by another U-turn, go straight, when you see the highway, take the left lane …… he reached the causeway checkpoint. And then he heard, “boleh kosong”. He looked out, wound down his window, and he looked at the woman in navy blue uniform. “Ok, you can go into Malaysia now,” he paused, and then he heard a loud bang!
He thought someone had fired a gun. Immediately he ducked his head. “Can’t be, Singapore is very safe,” he thought to himself. “Could be they opened my luggage compartment to check, he waited a few minutes. No other sound. “Damn it! They didn’t close it back for me,” He became impatient. He opened his door to get out to examine if they had put anything inside his luggage to frame him.
The minute he got out, he realized that he had been framed.
“Safety is our prime concern. Let’s watch some videos to get more inspiration.” The man behind the control room said.
And all they wanted was to see the colour of his tie.
杨忠义从那外国人上车的时候，到回家的行程，一路在想，那到底是谁？为什么这样准？在车上又听到新闻，说菲侓宾发生了抢杀案，3人死亡，我回想一下，刚才正在和平客栈喝茶的时候，又有一位女士叫 Lady 的，一直上来问东问西，明明我是叫了水喝的，她又过来问我今天的心情如何。你到底想在我身上图怎么？难到是我身上的光？还是我今天的戒指很美，用手摸一下 。。。。。 怎么瞬间不见了?
在我印象中，Lady 是美国一处卡通片Lady and the Tramp 里面的一只 Cocker Spaniel 是很可爱的人物。但呈现在我面前的这位这里的 Lady 对我来讲，可能是她们的第一夫人 Liza Araneta Marcos。我知道没这可能性，但我一直想知道她为啥叫自己做 Lady？她是有名有姓的嘛！我明明看到的是不同的人嘛，但想来想去，还是别和她谈天的好，她每次都问长问短，有时候还问我她没在这儿工作的时候我有没有进来，一直讲到我的胃口被打开为止，再强逼我吃她的食物。那太肥胖了，这简直是增肥贡品。
So long as you present well in front of me, you can be rotten everywhere else. And always be prepared to say sorry.
This is what my mother had taught me before, so that the first things I said to Lydia was, “Sorry I put you to sleep,” I did not say “Sorry I killed you,” for I was not absolutely sure that she was dead.
Lydia was my neighbour, and she lived two stories below me. I often saw her walking her golden retriever around the estate.
I wasn’t a full time worker, meaning that my work does not depend on the hours I spent at the office.
Several times I chanced on Lydia when I was downstairs. She was unfriendly. She looked at me and she looked elsewhere. I knew straight away that she wasn’t interested in making contact with me.
Chapter 2
It rained the moment I reached the ground floor. Strange that the weather could be so well timed to start rainfall at the precise moment. “Someone up there is trying to annoy me,” I thought to myself. My face turned sour.
And then I began to walk down. It was a spiral staircase. The steps are not so steep at 15 cm. After 15 minutes when I saw no sight to the end, I began to panic. “Help! Help!” I looked around and saw no one around me. So, I started to whisper. Still, I saw no one. And then I found a light on the staircase, it was a lamp to be precise. That comforted me, as I began to walk down, one step at a time, I had to make several turns. And then I began to count … I told myself that once I counted to 50 I should be at the ground floor.
One, two, three, four, five, six, …… at nineteen I changed to Japanese. And then at 45 I changed back to English, further down I went back into Chinese. I switched back and forth like this several times, until I had completely forgotten which language I was using, and then I heard an oozing sound, my mind blacked out, and I collapsed on the floor. There was still no one around.
After several decades, I heard a voice. “Wake up! Wake up!” and then I began to take conscious of my surroundings. At the end of the room, there was a lamp, I saw light, and my mind floated back to sleep again.
Again, I went back to the staircase, and I saw the lamp again. I wondered around the darkness, and I found a loose wire on the floor. I followed the wire, and then before I tripped on it, I traced it back to the source, and I found that there was no plug. Suddenly I woke up.
There was no bulb in the lamp! A lamp must have electrical wires and be connected to a power source. So there! You were a liar and a cheat I started cursing the lamp. You made me believe that there was a light. Where is it now? What do you mean by saying that there was a light at the end of the tunnel? How did the light come about? There was no power source.
Oh, the lamp. And where is it now? And who put it there?
These are the logical questions I asked myself.
I am not a mad scientist. I am just an ordinary social worker. I work day and night by meeting people from all walks of life. And every time I think I have finished with a handshake, another one extended a handout. I shook until I felt my hand started to come out.
Finally, I heard a voice, loud and clear. Enough is enough! Before I extended my left hand as well.
Huh? They want my left hand too? What do they want it for? They can’t make soup out of it for sure.
Shall I use a stick to shake my hand with these people?
“Chicken Soup for the Soul” I heard a loud voice. Omg! I began to flee, as though a devil was trying to catch me. But why would he want to catch me? What had I done wrong? Ok, I befriended one of the angels and went home. But why can’t I?
Chapter 3
I opened my eyes again. And there she was, putting a nice bowl of chicken soup in front of me. I remembered my dream. And I said, “there was no plug.” My mouth was dry just a whisper. The woman in front of me immediately retorted, “stop shouting will you, why are you so loud?”
I was lying on her bed, so I could not speak up. She left the bowl of chicken soup on the table, and she walked out without a further word. “Oh Lord,” I began to pray, before a dirty word comes out.
One shouldn’t be grateful for too long, neither should one carry grudges overnight. Father Jeremy used to tell us. Yes, I am a Catholic. But to this day I still swore that I am a non-Catholic. I told you, I like the Buddha. He is a big fat man with a round stomach, and he has a smiley permanently pinned on his face. They call it the toothless grin.
And then I thought to myself. I had better buy some Chinese beads. Immediately I sent the maid away. Her name is Geok Keow.
Geok Keow is a nice pretty woman who smiles often whenever she laughs. Her laughter giggles across continents, and when she returns it opens up to a nice set of small teeth neatly lined up.
I often wondered how many times she brushes her teeth a day.
Chapter 4
No, it wasn’t money or anything of the sort. Agatha and I were simply roommates. We owe each other nothing.
Sometimes you regret the things you say and do on an impulse, and soon after that you find it difficult to correct it. Agatha and I shared Geok Keow who cleans and cooks for us. Geok Keow is pretty, and she is a hardworking helper. Not one day passed by without her telling us that she is due to rest and seeking Agatha’s permission if she could retire.
Agatha slept late. She often reads and then she would fall asleep on her book. And I was not allowed to enter and turn off the light. I wished I had been given the power.
Chapter 5
Let’s take a trip down the memory lane and find out why my neighbours A and B were quarrelling all the time.
I name them A and B as I don’t know their names. Yet.
Today I opened my iPhone, and I saw another video clip telling me that there are scammers around everywhere. Immediately I “off ed” my phone. And then I thought, what if this announcement was sent by the real scammers themselves? But it can’t be. I was reading a Bible as well at that moment. Are you trying to tell me that the printed Bible was also a scam?
Finally, I couldn’t contain myself anymore, I opened my mouth, and with a slightly raised tone, I said, “one more time you say the word scam I am going to call you a scammer.” Yes, everyone scams for a living. You scam others to work for you too. You scam others to pay for your meals, etc. etc. But I guess the definition of a real scammer is someone without consideration, and someone who takes your money without your express knowledge and permission. If someone just doesn’t keep up to his promises he is just unreliable.
Yes, they are hideous people.
Chapter 6
One shouldn’t be grateful for too long, neither should one carry grudges overnight.
I knew that I should never have made that trip downstairs to confront him that evening. It altered everything, it changed my relationship with this friendly neighbourhood into a battle ground.
Why I did that I had no idea. Maybe my legs told me that I needed some exercise. Yes, that’s right. I took my slippers out and placed it inside the shoe rack at my front door. For no realm of a reason. And then I forgot that it was there and someone else took it away, and I went out to look for it.
And then subsequently when I heard Agatha shouting for me, I quickly ran back. I tripped and fell, and then I yelled. I am not sure if my neighbours heard me.
But then they did. And they promptly contacted their family in India and complained about me. Of course, if you tell me that they did not, I will believe you. They must have. One of them has an Indian grandfather.
And so, after I served Agatha her favourite foods consisting of a sunny side up, bacon on toast, I quickly went back to check the height of the step, so that I could be more measured when I next go down.
Finally, when I was satisfied that they were each 6 inches height, I went back into the house and shut the door behind me, leaving the invisible man outside my house standing. I don’t know how long he stood there, but I was sure that when I turned on the television set he was too tired and left.
Chapter 7
They said new year you must visit your relatives, no matter how nasty they might have been to you during your lifetime, adulthood, and to your parents. The siblings the Chinese calls it 手足, but you must not take it in the literal sense as hands and legs.
Agatha was clearly very ill. She was reading the book of a man who came from overseas with literally no hands and legs. This was a published book. And then someone whom I knew said that he had come to town. When asked if she wanted to verify by meeting him in person she said no. I too took it at face value. Until much later than I realised that the book could have been produced from a cut and paste.
Finally, I was told that Lydia moved out. Without notice. I was disappointed at first, but then I decided that a new friend is better than an unfriendly neighbour. Although I know I could turn this new neighbour into an enemy overnight. This is my specialty.
No, it didn’t upset me. But what upset me was that she didn’t come up and say a proper goodbye to me.
Actually, why should she? Can she lug her dog up to my house?
Oh, now I remember. It was the flowerpot on his balcony. A flowerpot on the balcony is harmless. It shows that the owner of the house has good taste and is usually because he came from an educated background. Where they got their education from I had no idea. Perhaps from Singapore, obviously. As they have the local Vanda Miss Joaquim.
I like Singapore. It is hot, sunny and everyone is extremely polite to each other. The Japanese bows, we just say, “please” thank you” “it’s ok” and “great” punctuated by “lah” “lor” “meh”. It is incomprehensible that we would need to resort to such non-sensical words to identify with each other. Oh yeah, if we don’t begin by the hi we are not ourselves. Why? Because the SIM cards were also called Hi cards.
Yes, I am angry, and I am insulting myself because Lydia had refused to talk to me.
And thinking of my moving out neighbour I had forgotten to water my plants this morning. This made Agatha very angry, and she started a fight with me. Geok Keow who saw the altercation quickly rushed out of the house in case she saw us punching each other and then she would have to call the police and be a witness.
Yes, I had told Geok Keow right from the beginning that she was employed here to work specifically to be a witness for the prosecution.
No, no crime had been committed so far. But just wait. Someone would be angry, and someone would fight. Who doesn’t? We are not angels. If we are, we would have been singing in heaven.
Ok, let me turn on the piano and start the drum rolling.
Chapter 8
A thief broke into our home. Having a thief break into your home is not something to be alarmed about if he took away nothing. What was shocking was that he moved our statue of Mother Mary.
Yes, she turned her back towards me. I wasn’t careful enough.
The minute I saw it; I tuned her back. And then I also gave her a set of Rosary to cover her. Like a set of blankets over the Lady. “She must be feeling cold,” I thought to myself. And then I went in to see Agatha again, and she was murmuring to herself, humming a soft tune, just like my young nanny who used to carry me in her arms.
What was the song that she used to sing in her heart when she was carrying me?
I ran and ran, as I ran my mind raced back in time to 1967 …..
No flowers, no music, I just carried a feather with me. And then halfway through my journey I fell down the steps. Ok! I remember now the measurement; it was 6 inches height.
“The time will come. And the time has come.” Agatha thought to herself. She sat up straight and went to fetch a glass of water on her own.
The maid saw that and the minute she realised that she asked for a pay increase.
Chapter 9
Again, Agatha said what I was reading was a scam. How can it be? I was holding The Straits Times spreading out right in front of me.
Even then she wanted to know which news read it was. What was wrong with her today?
So of course, I opened my mouth and asked, “you ok?” out of pure concern. Minutes later she came back, not satisfied, “have you had breakfast?”
“There, right in front of me,” I used my finger to point at the croissants, “one more time you point at me, I chop off your finger.” She shouted.
So, I gave her the butter knife, “use this,” I said.
Agatha stormed off. Leaving a trace of fumes behind her. And then fumigation started. I had to flee from the lab-bred mosquitoes.
The minute I came back, she said, “why are you back?”
Saw the helper Geok Keow, the pretty woman. I was satisfied, and I promptly went into the study to do my work. We call it the “Triangle Office”, as we did not want to compete with the Oval Office.
Come to think of it, is there a “Triangle Office”?
Ah, as in the Egyptian pyramids.
The environment is rather friendly, I thought to myself.
Finally, I got up from the sofa, and I heard, “I resign”. And then Agatha woke up from her bed, “What is happening?”
I literally jumped up with joy, at the same time, I heard a tune, it was an old favourite “Wake me up, before you Go-Go” the rest of the lyrics I couldn’t recall from Wham! I got to know that tune when I was in New Zealand and then it got lodged in my brains since time immemorial, perhaps since 2 March 1985. And then I realised that human beings are immortal after all.
Agatha is still alive, and if you tell me that she is dead, I will make a statutory declaration that I just saw her yesterday. Oh, no, it was today. She was lying in bed, as usual holding the Bible in her arm. I went up and covered her with a soft blanket.
Ok! The newspaper … she said she saw me reading a daily standalone publication named TODAY.
I couldn’t paste the voice of Lydia with her face, but I could see the invisible man now. And now my eyes are opened! Lydia is the neighbour downstairs, the one with the dog. And now I want to know the name of her dog. That was why I started my investigations. I began by asking all the other neighbours; all drew a blank. Who is Lydia? And how many people does she have in her house?
All I was interested in was the invisible man walking beside her. For she was laughing and smiling as though someone was walking beside her. Some natives had made fun of our Lord Jesus Christ saying that he was an invisible man who needs money. Sounds quite logical. We need to pay tithing when we attend service. Otherwise, the church workers the layperson cannot be able to come and attend to our needs, and we need the logistics as well.
Wow! Expenses are high!! And at this precise hour, I am just waiting outside the Cathedral of the Good Shepherd to wait for the archbishop homilies and some scripture reflections.
I was made to go on a merry-go-round in the entire estate for at least 6 weeks by now.
And all I wanted to know was the name of Lydia’s dog.
I am glad that you are visiting me here! My name is Su Min. I began writing when I was pregnant with my daughter and although Chinese is my first language, I still prefer to write in English. Since then, I have produced more than 50 short stories, and some of them is written in Chinese. The Chinese stories are of a different tale and have a different setting. At the same time, many of the paintings I posted here are derivative art in nature although I painted them myself.
I am born with a set of English educated parents who speaks no Chinese, and I went to a Chinese school which taught us in Chinese entirely. Most of the time, English culture and Chinese culture are fighting inside my brains to gain control over the poor me. So, you could imagine the chaos there!
I chose goldielocks because that was the available domain name at the time. Goldilocks means just the right amount. But unlike the girl goldilocks I don’t like porridge. My stories are based on part experiences, books I read and people I met but a lot of imagination has been into it. I hope that you will like the protagonist in each story, and that the storyline works for you. But you must visit me often, as I do go back into the stories and do amendments to polish up my storyline.
I used to be a shopaholic but now my preoccupation is to save money. In the mornings I use Nespresso to wake myself up, the alarm doesn’t work on me. This is my food. Throughout the day I eat normal foods, not expensive but nourishing for the body. I am small sized, and not too tall. If you happen to see me on the streets, just pretend that you have never read any of my stories. Let me begin another story again …… Happy reading!
