Tag: fiction

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My Home Revisited

This is where I come from … a hidden valley

Chapter 1

I fell. But if not for the snow, I would have broken my knees and bled. 

Then I looked up and Thank God I saw a Christmas tree right in front of me. Standing tall, the lights on the tree gave me a wink. “They blink so beautifully,” I thought to myself.

It was dark, and I could see that the kitchen light in the house was still on. I walked further towards the house. And then I saw a woman cutting on the chopping board. 

“Give me the carrot 🥕 “ I yelled. 

She looked at me, but she ignored me and she continued to use her knife to chop on the board. I wanted to snatch the knife away from her.

Chapter 2

I still remember what Kathy at the Bull Bank used to say to me, “show me the in-out situation,” and I would fumble for my wallet and start to count the cash. Yes, I am still withdrawing money from the cash machine. This is getting old fashion I know.

“This is terrible,” I said to myself, crawling out from the snow, I could only see a car parked at the driveway. It is a large car, I don’t know the make. I decided to use my walking stick to help me go up to see the number plate. This has been my habit. Whenever I see a car, I want to read it by the number plate. It’s like looking for the DNA of a man or the IMEI of a phone. It’s *#06#。

Why? I can’t drive. And I don’t want to confuse one car for another. I had been crazy enough to open a stationary car and walk into it. Ok! I recall now, someone told me I was a valet before.

But then I realised that it was a little far from me. When I was falling, I tried to use my walking stick to support myself, by then it had become a liability, that was why I tried to discard it in the first place, and that was how I fell down. 

I was too excited when I saw the snow. It was white, and colour so pure that I grabbed at it. I started to make one snowball after another. And I rolled them bigger and bigger. From the small ones, I combined them into larger ones, and then once I saw that it was large enough I called it a medium, after medium I put it aside, and I started to roll smaller snowballs again.

When the medium snowballs are formed I put them aside and I started the same procedure, medium to large. When the lower trunk was formed, which is an extra-large, I went around to the back to examine it, forgetting that another pair of hands was helping me to do the task. 

All in all I made a very large and a medium. The large I call it the stomach and the medium I call it the head.

And now, after the body and the head, and before I could look around for someone to help me stack the head onto the stomach, I heard the sound of an engine start. Of course I needed to lay the body on the ground first before I could put the upper torso on.

It took me almost a day. And I had forgotten about the time by then.

Chapter 3

I am forty-three this year. And I came here all the way to London because I wanted to do a course in art creation. What art meant I still have no idea. 

The next day I went back, and I realised that the snowman did not have shoes. 

Where can I find shoes for him? I asked.

The best place is of course a shoe shop. But I am new in this town, and I don’t know my whereabouts yet. Shoes can be found in the Guardian as well I think I saw.

I tried to recall my memory. Before I came in, my intent was to find a bench where I could sit down and rest my tired feet.

Of course I am used to the hot climate city of Singapore that I had forgotten that the London snow would have covered up the entire grounds, the driveway to the car porch, as well as the front yard, and the rest of the grass and the muddy grounds, as well as the garden with the bench.

I arrived in the morning. No one picked me up at the airport.

Chapter 4

Then I saw several pairs of beige shoes at the entrance to the house. There was still snow on some of the shoes. And they are all in 核色 the beige. Why does this owner like beige? It is a nuke colour we call it. Are they all her shoes? Does she live alone? What brands are they? And then my eyes narrowed when I saw a pair of beautiful shoes. In those days I have not seen a pair like that. They are sharp and pointed. Almost like a wedding dress it has a nice bow on top of the shoe. The bow was tied with gold and embossed. I picked up one, and then I saw that it had a signature on it – Ferragamo. What fonts the maker use I don’t know. 

Wow! Such a nice pair! 👠

And then I heard a woman shout, “trash!!”

I knew immediately that she was angry. With what I do not know. Perhaps she was baking a cake, or washing up after breakfast. So I decided to go around the back to the kitchen. But by then I had lost my way. I went round and round the house, with my pair of rubber shoes soaking wet.

Of course I picked up the pair of beige shoes when I got up. You cannot call it steal. I did not steal. I merely borrowed it for a while, when I meet her in person I will hand it back to her personally. And tell her that I heard someone said trash. Shall I help her throw her garbage bag?

But strangely enough I was just about to move my bowels. 

And then I saw an open door. It was wooden, and I could hear the water flush. This must be the toilet, I told myself. Automatically I walked in. And I saw a にんぎゅ(人形)。It was placed on top of the WC bowl. And a plant was next to it. The name of the plant I do not know. And I am not about to go back to my biology class to find out.

That brings me back to my teen childhood days.

I had a biology teacher. He was cute. A middle aged man, slightly plum, he used to come in with his face half-swollen and a puffed-up eye, he would plonk himself right in front of us on the wooden chair, and then he would say, 今天是自由活动, meaning that today is “free and easy”. Just like the marketing tours that we see nowadays. 

Oh dear, I had forgotten to shit. But now the urge to do so had left completely. 

What shall I do? I have landed myself in the toilet now, with no urge to ease myself, and a にんぎゅ (人形) in front of me, a plant and myself. The toilet was clean, and there was no fowl smell that one usually finds in the toilet. Such a nice place. Is this a real toilet? Then I saw the toilet bowl. So, these are all decoration. I picked up the toilet seat cover, and I flipped it open. 

OMG! OMG!

I saw blood. 

What?! Has murder been committed in this house???

Chapter 5

To find out if murder has been committed, you must pick a victim. And it must have been the woman that I saw at the window yesterday.

Oh, she was chopping the carrot, that must have been the woman that was killed – the Charismatic Christians call it “slain” – a strange word original of which I have no idea.

So if she were dead, what did the assassin do with her body afterwards. How did they dispose of her? In the toilet? In the backyard? Oh yeah, that must be it. I saw blood inside the WC bowl. 

Yes, I did not flush it, neither did I move my bowels. For when I saw blood I realised that I could have moved my bowels elsewhere. In such a large house, there must be another toilet elsewhere. But at the same time I knew that I could not abandon the nice snowman that I have fallen for. Even though his entire body is almost completed. Oh, I was too impatient. I went to look for shoes before I had wrapped a scarf round her neck.

I began to recall my biology. The lower trunk comprises the abdominal area below the rib cage, the lower back and the pelvis. And as I was recalling, I picked up more snow and rolled them all into one. 

Now, there you are, you are a proper snowman now!

“What name do you want to give me?” He asked.

“Snowman of course!” I yelled at the top of my voice.

Yay!!! I hear a group of children laugh. And then I recalled the Charismatic classes. They had a song, “wherever there are children singing, laughing …… there will I be,” I looked around, and I saw not a single person. 

Ok, this was just an imaginary voice.

Of course I know that I hear voices. Voices appear when there is no one around, and where your thoughts are talking to you. They do not disturb me now. And I am quite happy sitting in the snow. By which time, my entire body had been soaking wet. But now I could see my walking stick. It is sticking out, part of it visible, and the other half submerged in the snow.

I was happy that I found my tool. But then the shoes are no longer with me. 

Heck the shoes! The word Ferragamo appeared in my brains. And then Hermes, followed by numerous names they call it. All I took was a pair of nice beige shoes. Where are my own shoes? Are they still with me? 

Now the snowman is talking to me.

“I love you,” he said, “I can’t help but start to talk to him. And then as I was talking I stood up, using my brute strength, and the biology lessons I learnt before on how to get up from a squatting position. 

“Never mind, narcissist!” I started to get angry with myself, I spoke loudly, and to the snowman’s amazement, he smiled, and then the carrot in his mouth dropped out.

Oh the carrot is there! That means that the woman I saw at the kitchen must have put the carrot into his mouth. She didn’t place it properly so therefore it was unsteady and she must have adjusted my walking stick as well.  

I see no reason why she could not adjust the walking stick. But she shouldn’t touch the snowman. He is my creation and everything that happened in this house is entirely my making since I walked in.

OMG! Does this make me the killer???

All men are assumed innocent until proven guilty. 

I could have just admitted to liability, but I honestly did not kill her. The God the true one and only one God, who exits outside the realm of this universe, would have known what to do with the sinner, who violated the sixth commandment. But is it a sin to wish an old woman who would be expiring very soon? 

My memory brought me back into the True Jesus Church to pray again. At the time even before I walked in, I heard laughter. This is weird, I thought to myself. And as I walked further down the path, I found another church called Singapore Bible College. I was learning that before, throughout the day, when I was in school, when I was in the university.

I went there to the Bible School in 2006 because I was told that the entire road is called the Holy Ground. As in, anyone who stands there are standing on Holy Ground, because several churches are standing there.

I looked down, and I found myself standing in the snow. “It is so fluffy,” I said to myself. This is exactly the spot I was 15 years ago, and this is the ground where I stood. To me this is the Holy Ground. The ground is holy because I am a non-sinner. And since when have I become so adamant?

I am not guilty of course. But how can I go ahead to prove that? 

Pray. And my mind brought me home again.

I kept the pair of shoes and brought it back home to Singapore.

Chapter 6

If not because the man and I had a chinwag over coffee, I would not have taken a flight here to London. He brought the shoes back from the house where the snowman was.

“Do you recognise this pair of shoes?” Harry asked.

“I would have thrown the shoes away, and bought a new pair. Why do I still keep old shoes after I could no longer fit into it?”

“No, I am asking if this pair of shoes are yours?” He said.

“Er … put it down, let me see if I can fit into it … ” I said.

Harry lay the shoes on the floor, pointing at it, he said, “try it on.”

“There you are, they are not my shoes.” I protested.

“After such a long time, how could you still fit into it?”

“So that means that they are not mine right?” I was relieved.

And then I continued, “Apart from the fact that it was mouldy and collecting dust, I had bought several other numerous pairs.”

Chapter 7

In that house, I was the first one to discover blood. Apart from the woman who appeared fleetingly how many people are residing in this house no one knows.

This is a three storey house. I could see the lights on the upper floors, when I came in through the porch. A car was parked at the driveway and the number plate was SCJ8059T. The engine turned on the minute I stood at the front door. Knock, knock, I did. I asked, “is she in?”, to pretend that this is the first time I am going in, and that the snowman in the garden wasn’t made by me, since the woman had voluntarily put the carrot in his mouth.

Come to think of it? What do snowman eat?

Oh yeah, I forgot to give him eyes 👀

I thought about the beautiful eyes that my mother used to have, they were large, crystal big, but sharp, she didn’t cry even when her mother was passing away. Of course at ninety-nine she would have left with no trace of sadness or regret. 

I had a terrible time during my grandmother’s last days. 

Towards the end of her life, she would shout at me and tell me that it was a spiritual warfare. Whom she was fighting against I had no idea, and the names of characters in the Bible was thrown at me like pebbles and stones you find on the ground.

So I wanted to throw the snowballs. 

Chapter 8

I picked them up, and I rolled them again, and then at palm size, I started to throw them at random, first in front, then at the left and right, and then I did a throwback. Flash! My memory came back. The scene of her sitting in front of my piano bench came back to me, flushing my eyes with tears.

Why did you kill me? She asked.

“You took my time, mother,” I started to speak. Alone in the snow, with no one around.

“And if I didn’t do it, you will never die.” I continued.

“But who told you to do so?” she asked, “that must have been Satan, right?” blatantly I replied.

“Who is Satan?” she suddenly asked, waking up.

“I thought you read the Bible? Don’t you know that there is such a character by the name of Satan?” I replied.

“Oh yes, I forgot,” she said.

“How can you forget such a simple thing, mother?” I pleaded for her to regain her memory.

“Now, what time do you want to go to sleep?” I asked.

“When God tells me to sleep I will sleep,” mother got angry.

This is hilarious. I thought to myself.

“Do you know who asked me to ask you?” I became angry at the same time.

“God, of course,” meekly she replied.

“You know there is God right?” I spoke again.

The voice: she took too much of your time.

Chapter 9

A domino effect, the leaves from the tree fell all at once, simultaneously and consecutively, I decided to take out my jacket and throw it on the snow. It was still cold, but I felt no chill, the speed of the wind no longer disturbed me. So elated that I fell to the ground. I saw a swirl, and with one bended knee I got up. I stood right in front of the tree, and I said, “You have been here all my life, and I ignored you. 

The tree said to me, “it’s ok child, I told you not to eat the apple from the tree, but I realised that due to the centre of gravity it fell down,” “and you picked it up on time.”

“But, but, apples don’t grow on trees in this town ….,” followed by, “and this is winter .… “

The tree said, “I told you not to argue!!!”

I bow and said, “Thank you Your Honour,” and exited myself.

But in this cold winter, where can I go? Back to Harrods???  

This tree survived the cold and freezing temperatures due to a lack of water. Deciduous trees shed leaves to conserve energy and prevent dehydration, while evergreen trees maintain their green foliage needles, using a natural antifreeze in their sap to stay hydrated. 

I thought about the past. Shouting within the house is bad, so is shouting to a dying woman. But was she my mother? No, she wasn’t. She had changed into a completely different person after all that medical treatment. 

From a nice, young, benevolent mother, a grandmother, she became a monster. And I had to get rid of the monster in my house. In my system, in the realm of things, I knew it was God who told me to pray. Time was up for the both of us, and for everyone who was on the same page with her.

A new chapter has begun.

The sun came up again this morning, as usual. He sat at the same place. 

“I told you she was bad luck,” I heard.

I asked him, “this is not the last supper right?”

“Of course not, you silly,” he retorted.

“And then who really killed my mother? My grandmother and my great-great grandmother,”

“The job was done by Lucifer, as usual.” The Almighty replied.

“And who ordered it,” stupidly I asked. 

“Satan of course.”

“So is the doctor Satan?”

Your guess is as good as mine.

And what about the voices I sometimes hear, my thoughts that told me that ….

But now I hear God’s voice …. the old thoughts I would summarise them as …. the devil’s voice.

I looked up, and I saw a plane leaving the country. 

Goodbye Satan, try not to send Lucifer into my house again.

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The Enemy Is In The House

It is too foggy for the enemy to leave my house now ……

Chapter 1

No one can forget the events immediately leading to their deaths. And if only he had confessed to my parents in 2006 that he had slept with me, then everything would have been better for all of us, including God concerned. God hates liars.

Chapter 2

A criminal can never erase his footprints enough even if he has eliminated all tools and appliances used in the act before he leaves the scene of crime. Never mind about his conscience the 良心，and ruling out the “sin” part in the Christian believes.

It is all about how smart he is. And that was how the man by the name of てつや やまがみ who shot 普三 安倍 the Japanese Prime Minister was subsequently apprehended and brought to justice. But was it justice for the entire nation and justice for his poor mother? Was Shinzo Abe actually the best Prime Minister that ever was for Japan? Only the native knows. I don’t. And I am in no mood to criticize a departed man and talk politics.

Today I just want to find out if he had gone into heaven. All departed souls go to heaven. And heaven is where the heart is.

We all tell our immediate family where we would want to go after we have passed into the next world. I am nowhere near departure, so I shan’t reveal where I want to go to. I don’t even like to tell others where I intend to go to when I step out of my house.

I value my privacy more than anyone I know.

“How old are you?” the Grab driver asked.

“You guess,” I said, that is when I feel like talking to him. Coz guessing brings us closer.

“So, you are a lady of leisure.” This sounds like an old acquaintance whom I disliked. I felt annoyed. The same tone a different voice.

She was my colleague in Law School. Being a year older she went in and became my senior. And she was the first to introduce me to the Bible. They were called the “Navigators” in the 1980s.

I was educated in Chinese, so that at the time, I couldn’t understand what she was trying to get at. Jesus Christ was still new to me. I can’t say that the Man has not saved me before, and I still pray the Rosary at times. I watch American movies and am a fan of several Caucasian actors.

But when I told my Chinese friends that I speak to Jesus in English, a panic alarm was sent across. Several attempts were made to induce me to enter into the Christian settings in Chinese. Why do I have to relearn the Biblical names in Chinese when in fact it was first taught in English in which I am conversant in praying to Him?

But I rarely talk to Him. He knows where I am.

Back to 安倍。It was on 8 July 2022 that he was assassinated. Almost four years have elapsed. He was a good friend of Singapore. 

Chapter 3

We have moved on. But history remains. And memories do not fade. We can’t live without our memories. Destroying a person’s memory is cruel and unkind. Only Satan would do that. Satan is the most condemned character in the Bible. 

I study English, but I have known enough vocabulary to read the Bible. 

We sometimes call Satan S.A. Tan. No, we are not making fun of the Bible. We are just a little nation, who are still quite stupid, and would like to believe that regardless, we have a sense of humour. 

Afraid of the Nipah virus now. So, I try to avoid going out.

Chapter 4

Then who keeps me company? It’s my dog Elaine. 

Elaine is my best friend for now. She is a bitch. But I love her, even though I know that she is a canine. I am not alone. A lot of people think that dogs make better friends.

We adopted Elaine some three years after Arthur our cat, when she was born.

Cats typically last 12 to 15 human years, and 1 cat year is 15 years human life. So that cats are always at age one. They never turn old. They either die before they turn one, or never.

When Arthur had contracted pneumonia and died, both Leo and I were heart broken, and we swore that we were not going to adopt another animal after Elaine. 

Elaine is ok. We can bring her out, except that he is confined to the estate. We don’t see dogs in many public places. She can travel, but not for a holiday. 

That is ok. 

She shits everywhere in our apartment. And that is extremely troublesome. I pick up her doggy poo several times a day. Leo has never been made responsible for this.

The first dog year is equivalent to 15 human years. The second equals 9 human years. So that dogs live 24 years maximum. That means that dogs can only celebrate a 2 year birthday.

Chapter 5

This morning at breakfast Molly suddenly spoke to Leo, “Why don’t you make a will,” she said.

“Huh? Will? What for?” Leo replied.

“So that if anything happens to you, I would be able to claim for your inheritance,” Molly said.

“But …. But …. “ Leo said.

“We are not officially married, our union is not recognised in law,” she lamented.

“But then we have been together for so many years!” Leo said.

“At most it is a common law marriage,” she continued.

Common law marriages are not claimable without a valid will.

“But then where would the money go to?” Leo was puzzled.

“I don’t know, you might be having another woman outside, I have no idea.”

“Why would you say that darling?” “I have been as faithful as a puppy.” Leo protested.

“You have been coming home late in the evenings recently,” Molly complained.

“That does not mean that I was unfaithful. Do you see me outside with another woman?” Leo carried on.

“Not yet, I still don’t have any evidence.” Molly.

“Evidence! What evidence do you want???” Leo.

“Evidence of your bad behaviour,” Molly.

“Well, if you want, I could fabricate some for you …. if that makes you happy ….” Leo gave up.

“Ok, done!” and with that Molly closed the topic of conversation.

Chapter 6

Leo was perturbed, but not unhappy.

He and Molly had been living with each other for at least a decade. Arthur was adopted at four and he took another 6 years from Leo and Molly until all revenues were exhausted before the feline would call it quits. Meaning that Arthur died young, since cats are allotted 15 years. After that the landlord stepped in and stopped them from adopting another feline, so they moved to a smaller house.

At least the new landlord allowed them to keep Elaine. Elaine is a beagle.

And beagles are similar to foxhound. Molly sometimes brings her beagling.

Chapter 7

Today Elaine saw Molly collapsed on the floor, it inclined its ears to hear what she was saying: “Dear God, I pray that Elaine will live long. Please grant her the maximum life span of at least twenty years allotted to dogs.”

Oh, she is praying for me. Elaine thought to herself. 

At dinner that evening, Molly presented Leo with just a chunk of beef and two pieces of broccoli. 

“That’s all I can cook for tonight,” Molly said.

“You can’t think of other dishes??” Leo asked.

“What would you like?” Molly asked.

“Use your own brains.” Leo became angry.

“Hey! Why are you in such a bad mood?” “I didn’t do anything,” Molly protested.

“Precisely, it is because you didn’t do anything,” the man explained.

“So, apart from cooking and cleaning dog shit, what else do you want me to do?” the poor woman responded.

Leo moved away from the dining table, leaving Molly bewildered.

Molly looked at the used plates and cups, she picked them up and went to the kitchen, quietly she cleaned up the leftovers and gave them to Elaine.

At least Elaine is nice to me! Molly was crying inside her heart.

From that moment Molly decided that she must leave Leo. The best way to do it is to get a woman to seduce him. Once it is his fault, then she could just drain his account and leave. And then, if Leo still refuses to release evidence that he had slept with another woman, Molly will need to get Jack the P.I. of Spider’s Bureau to procure the evidence.

These evidence Molly would show it to Leo to prove infidelity as a reason to walk out on him. Although they need not prove it to the courts that they are divorced, since they were only married in church. 

Damien was the paster who performed the ceremony at the time. But he had since become late. No notice was given to Molly. “I believe church is the best place where unions are formed,” he helped Leo in the idea of marriage without the registry, “after all, most people marry in church, especially if they had found their partners from a church gathering.” 

Chapter 8

You can’t make others steal when they have no intention to steal. Likewise, you shouldn’t encourage others to kill themselves, unless you are absolutely sure that they would have killed themselves by some other more lethal means. But if the person is already on his way to a meeting with the Almighty, then you must accompany him. Whether the Almighty would allow him to return is another matter. This is not abetment. This is just letting nature takes its course. And this is just being polite as you respect a person’s own decision making.

So today Leo tried to find out who Molly’s God is, as he sees her praying at night before they go to bed. 

She would light a candle, then take out her Rosary, and then meditate for at least half an hour. During which time she is oblivious to her surroundings. The candle continues to shine, and Leo is rather annoyed I would say, having to wait for her in bed together with Molly.

“I have never gone to Mass with her before,” Leo thought to himself. “Maybe I should follow her to one and see if she had been there seducing other parishioners.”

“Dear, where would you like to go?” Leo asked during dinner.

“Huh? Where?” innocently Molly asked.

“Like, a place of worship,…..” Leo replied.

“But you don’t go to church!” Molly replied.

“But I would like to follow you if you have been travelling there,” Leo said.

“Travelling!” Molly said, “Why don’t we go to South Africa,”

“NO. I mean in Singapore,” Leo was crossed.

“I don’t want to go to a church in Singapore, I want you to bring me to a place of worship overseas,” Molly said.

“Then no deal.” Leo said.

“So, you are not following me to church?” Molly was quite happy.

Inside Leo, he was getting fumed up.

He left the dining table without collecting the rest of the food on his plate.

Inside the kitchen. “PANG!” A plate was dropped. 

Leo rushed to the kitchen. “What happened?” he asked.

“No, nothing,” Molly responded immediately.

“You broke my plate!!!” Leo shouted.

“No, I didn’t. It fell onto the floor by itself.”

“How can a plate drop by itself? It can’t fly. You must have done it.”

“Do you want me to pick up the pieces?” Molly asked.

“OMG! You lost your brains!” Leo shouted.

And with that Leo stormed out of the kitchen, back to his favourite spot in front of the television.

The screen was just showing one of the serials from “Squid Game.”

And then Molly heard laughter from Leo.

Why is he so happy? I thought I just broke one of his favourite plates?!

Chapter 9

Since Molly read the news aloud to her, Elaine had been in a bad mood.

Molly used to admire the Japanese. Of course, as her canine companion Elaine should know. 

It’s time to go down. I need to pee. 

“Woof! Woof!” Elaine shouted at the top of her vocal cord.

“Woof! Woof!” Molly responded.

When Molly does that, I know that she is telling me to wait. Elaine thought to herself.

Then, “Keep quiet!” Molly said to Elaine again.

After Molly had logged out of her computer and changed into a new set of clothes, she brought Elaine down.

Today Elaine saw a new friend. 

He is good looking! Elaine thought to herself.

And there is no better way to introduce herself to her new friend except to woof at him.

“Woof!” then,

“Woof! Woof!” followed by,

“Woof! Woof! Woof!” Elaine began to court the Silky Terrier.   

Silky started to bark at Elaine.

Who is the master of Silky? Elaine thought to herself.

She waited for a long time, but Silky’s master never came to claim ownership. 

After a while, she saw Silky went up the road and disappeared into one of the staircases.

Elaine continued to pursue him, and then at the entrance to a first-floor unit, a door was ajar. 

She must be inside. Elaine thought.

“Woof! Woof!” Elaine.

“Woof! Woof! Woof!”

Chapter 10

Today Molly plucked up the courage to bring Elaine out for a walk outside the estate. 

Elaine started to bark even before she reached the ground floor. 

“Keep quiet,” Molly said. But Elaine doesn’t recognize this command now. She had connected with Silky.

“Woof woof woof woof woof woof,” the bitch started. She was looking for Silky; it was to tell Silky to come down and join her as well.

But Alas! It only disturbed the neighbours.

And then, “Hey! Molly!” a male voice.

“Who are you?” Molly heard the man.

“I recognize you by your dog,” the man said. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize, am I the only person with a beagle?”

“Seems to be, your beagle has a nice coat pattern,” the man started talking.

“Oh yeah, there were more than one, I like Elaine’s that was why I chose her, “Molly said.

“Let me bring my dog out, just a minute,” he followed suit.

Elaine was overjoyed when she saw that it was Silky.

“Wooo, oooo, ….,” Elaine. But Silky was less talkative.

She must be hiding something. Elaine thought to herself. Let me find out.

Chapter 11

“Why is Elaine in such a splenetic mood?” A splenetic situation occurs when the mind becomes incoherent as thoughts rambling. 

When Elaine was barking after Leo had just brought her down for a pee, Leo was annoyed.

“She is usually quite well behaved, what did you do to her?”

“Nothing, I brought her down,”

“I know, but where?”  

“Oh, she peed at the same spots,” Molly replied.

“Mind if you tell me specifically which spots?” Leo asked.

Molly turned and she switched off her lamp by the bed.

Flabbergasted, Leo patted Elaine, then decided to cover himself until Elaine stopped barking. He had no idea that Elaine found a companion.

Inside Molly’s brains she was thinking of how to get Leo to write his will. And then at midnight when Elaine started barking again. The plans had already been lodged.

Chapter 12

Molly have been having the same recurring dream that everyone refused to take a photo with her at her birthday party. 

It disturbed Molly as she couldn’t recall what clothes she was wearing in her dreams, and which birthday. So that she picked a random piece. But the moment she came out she realised that she was in the wrong attire. The sun was hot and everyone was in thin, nylon clothing. 

Elaine was of course excited, and she dragged her straight towards the staircase that Silky disappeared in.

Molly of course knew what was happening.

The moment she went near the block, she heard Silky barking. “Woof! Woof!”

And then a man came out.

Molly could not believe her eyes.

This was a cache of Richard Gere!

She paused, bright-eye and bushy-tailed, she said “Good morning, sir!” to the man.

“I do not have a helper you want to come in and clean?”

“Oh, no, no, no, …. “ and she immediately turned to Silky and said, “Woof! Woof!”

The man looked at her with amusement, took the leash and pulled Silky away, “bitch,” he said.

Elaine was very upset. Why he called me a bitch???

So rude!!!

“Call me rich!” the man dropped the sentence and started to walk.

Frozen, Molly said ok and started to follow him, as Elaine was also pulling Molly in the same direction.

“Are you ok?” the man talked as he walked.

“Oh yes of course I am, especially seeing you now …. “

“May I know your name, sir?” tentatively Molly asked. 

“Rich, I thought I just told you,” 

“I am sorry, I know you are rich, sorry that should have asked.” Molly complied.

The man laughed. 

“You silly, my name is Richard,” 

“Oh, I see …. “ Molly put on her best smiles.

“Your beagle is a female right?” the man said.

“How did you know?!” Molly was genuinely surprised.

“I know enough about dogs than most people, I can see by their appearance,” And then he paused, “I used to be a veterinarian,” he winked his eyes.

“Then, is Silky a male or a female?” She asked.

The man looked at Molly again, this time with a quizzical eye, “I thought I told you,” 

“Huh?” again Molly couldn’t understand him.

By this time the two dogs are already fully acquainted with each other and were frolicking around.

Suddenly the man pulled Silky away, and then Molly realised that they had reached the staircase where Richard lives.

How did he know that Elaine was a bitch? And then Molly suddenly realised that she was using a fuchsia pink for Elaine’s leash.

Molly was beginning to fall for Richard the Rich man.

They say old enemy can exploit fresh toil.

The next day was a rainy day, so that Molly could not bring Elaine for a walk at the estate.

She waited the entire day to chance with Richard, but the man was not there when she brought Elaine down. Only a few cars with remnants of rainwater collected on their bodies greeted Molly. And Elaine as usual peed at her usual spots.

Chapter 13

Sometimes we don’t know the consequences until we have made a mistake. And we depend on the good people around us to show us how we have affected others badly.

The moment Molly stepped into the house, she sensed something different.

It was not until she went to the back of the living room at the corner where cabinets were displayed that she found that Leo had bought a Lady Buddha.

Satori 悟り immediately seized upon her, and she bowed down and prayed, until Leo came behind her and patted her on the shoulder, “are you praying in English or Chinese?” he asked.

“It’s between me and my God.” Molly was defiant.

“Ok, as you say so,” and then Leo added, “don’t forget that I paid for the Lady Buddha.”

“Woof!” Elaine barked in acquiescence.

The poor woman was devastated. But she remained determined to see Richard again. 

Elaine started to howl again. “Wooo, oooo …. “

Leo pulled Elaine’s leash aside, “I will walk her today,”

“But she just came up,” Molly said.

“Oh, I thought you brought her to the market,”

Molly immediately went into the kitchen to cook. At dinner, she then realized that Leo had not come up with Elaine.

Where could they be?

At 9:00 pm, Molly decided to pack up the dinner plates and put the dishes into the sink to wash. 

At 10:00 pm, Leo was still in the garden ….

At 11:00 pm, Molly heard the door click, signaling Leo’s return.  She quickly pulls the blanket over her face and pretended to be asleep.

The next morning Leo woke up and saw that Molly had gone down for a walk with Elaine before he went out.

She was disappointed that Richard was not at the garden. 

“Elaine, where is Silky?” she spoke.

After three minutes, Richard appeared with Silky.

“Where were we last night?” 

“Last night? I thought we met in the morning?” Molly retorted, she was still fresh in her memory.

The same Richard brought her up the path where the other houses were. He let Silky peed at her regular spots before he would talk to Molly again.

“So, you want to apply for a job in my company?” 

“Yes, of course, any position,” Molly was happy.

“Then how about my personal assistance?” Richard said.

“Of course! Thank you Sir!”

“Come by tomorrow morning,” Richard replied.

With this employment prospect, Molly was happy to follow Elaine back to the house. She forgot that Elaine had not peed yet.

Half an hour later, she found Elaine peed on the console where the statue of Lady Buddha stood.

“OMG! OMG! …. ”

She took out a cane and hit Elaine!

No one knew who supplied Molly with the cane and no one knew why Leo bought the statue.

But for now, Molly had secured an appointment with Richard.

Chapter 14

Do dogs tear? I don’t know. Neither does Molly.

Leo took over the walking of Elaine as well as cooking.

Molly went to work at Richard’s office.

And then Elaine stopped howling at night. 

Silky had disappeared from the grounds and Richard and Molly became a pair in Tableware Kitchen.

Do dogs recognize dogs of their own breed when they see each other? I know that they cannot recognize their own reflection in the mirror. And I know that because as Molly, I have reared dogs before.

And Leo knows that all Molly wanted was to get a job instead of looking after Elaine.

Elaine was a woman that she knew a long time ago who had helped her find herself. An old acquaintance I would say.

Or you could call her your 闺蜜, meaning your confidant.

She was not love with Silky. I think that dogs know who’s who in their own dimensions.

But poor Leo, he had become the helper of Molly, who now looks after the entire estate. 

This of course, is a secret between Leo and Richard. 

Who is the enemy? She is in the house. 

Her name is Elaine. 

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A Fat Cat’s Tail

I saw his fat tail at the airport …..

Chapter 1

Let‘s go back to 1983.  

In 1983, Molly adopted a cat and a dog. The cat was black, with several patches of white, spread over his entire body like a picture of the world map over a globe, the white representing countries with no green and brown revealing the curves of the mountains and the firm and sometimes muddy land.

Molly loves the cat, the name she gave him was Arthur, as she had an uncle by that same name. This uncle was a flamboyant lawyer, and has had several wives, totalling an even number. 

The first was a lady who loved dancing. She danced with him for a few nights and proposed to him, instead of he to her, the moment she realized that he had decided that it was time to call it quits. He accepted it at once, and she of course, being the one who wanted it, jumped at saying “yes,” subsequently like a cat she submitted to him, so we called her “Meow” or “Mimi” to simplify.  

And that was how her name “Meow” was arrived at. “Meow” being the sound verbalized by a cat.

Since we all call his second wife “Mdm. Meow”, this would mean that Arthur is also a cat, by logical definition. Since cats can only marry cats.

Chapter 2

Molly told me: They say that if you see a black cat on the streets after midnight you should avoid her. I used the female gender because I always thought that cats are female as they look soft and they purr and lay quietly unless provoked. But I did not realize that they are fierce and aggressive, especially with their long nails, they scratch at everything that they see. I am a cat, and a cat who derived my ancestry from the snow leopard. 

Molly used to say, “I love snow,” and then the snow leopard would jump out from behind the computer screen and come out to join her. For dinner of course. But the real snow leopard would turn his face away from anyone if disturbed. They love the snow and they hide inside the tent 🏕️. But when they are out, they are slow and deliberate. The truth is, that Molly has never brought me to the North Pole region before.

In contrast I never liked polar bears although I once knew a polar bear in an Australian zoo. But for now, I think we skip Australia, it’s too close to New Zealand and too far away from Russia. How the animals got there I had no idea. 

Chapter 3

This morning, half asleep, I strayed into a Japanese joint together with Molly. When Molly asked for serviettes, the staff refused to come to our table. Only when I woke up did I realized that Molly had paid only as little as twelve dollars and fifty cents. Molly explained to me later that they wanted to close shop as it was late, since they can’t even spare serviettes. Of course, they had no idea that Molly would feed me quietly on the side. I did hear the lady answered, “you never asked”, and then Molly said, “just bring the piece of paper over, my dear,” afterwards I saw Molly got up from her seat at the table to take it herself, then they informed her that they usually place it at the counter in a round container. 

I heard Molly talking to herself, “Why can’t they tell me right from the start?”  

In bed, I saw Molly complaining to Leo when he got home that night. I knew straight away what it was. It must have been the shopaholic thing again. And so, I had to pronounce the rule of law for Molly – customer is always right. 

This is what I have observed with Molly. The moment she walks into any mall, an alarm would sound, signalling that she has come in. If not immediately then soon after. And then she would want to spend. How they install this urge to spend in her system I do not understand. It must have been me meowing. So, they must know that I am hiding inside her bag.

Leo told Molly not to talk next time before they went to bed that night. I heard.

And then the next morning when I went to have my breakfast at the usual spot, I saw two pieces of fish. “Fish fillet”, I heard Molly said. Wow!

The flesh was soft and thick, with no bones, and plain. A little salty I thought. Perhaps it came directly from the sea.

Then subsequently, I tried to ask for milk. Reluctantly Molly came. 

This time the milk was colder than usual, and I got a tummy ache. Afterwards I lie in my little corner in the oval basket with a soft blanket, and I told myself to just sleep it off instead of getting angry. MEOW! I thought to myself.

Chapter 4

Today Molly tried to bring me into a restaurant. I heard her say, “Bring me to The Buckmoon Hotel,” to the Grab driver in the car. When we got out of the car, I heard the doorman at the entrance telling the concierge at the front desk to bring us to the restaurant. The waiter inside brought us to a corner. This time I could sense that it wasn’t Japanese. 

The Sensurround was different and the mood was different. No loud noises, no people walking with heels, and not a sound was made as Molly was putting food into her mouth.

Which means that she was eating alone. 

“Is she alone?” I heard the waitress asked.

How would I know? I am inside her basket. How would I know if she is dining with a companion?

Instantly I realized that I had been put into the position of an inspector detective. Reluctantly, I gave out a meow to remind her that I was inside.

“Keep quiet!” Molly said to me.

But someone noticed her talking to me. 

“You can’t come in here with this basket,” it was a woman’s voice.

“Huh why can’t I?” “What is wrong with this basket?”

“Err …. It’s too rattan,” she said.

“Too rattan, what’s wrong with rattan?” “I like rattan,” Molly emphasized.

The patch on the rattan is too, too, …. I don’t know …. How shall I say it?” the woman said.

“Hey! You are not …. You are not a waitress,” Molly said.

“Then I ask my manager to come,” I heard, it’s the same woman I could determine.

Stay cool, I told Molly.

After several minutes, nothing happened. 

And then I heard the clinking sound of the crockery and plate. Immediately I felt safe.

Going backwards, I thought to myself, why can’t cats be allowed into a restaurant? We need to eat too! What is there between me and they? Why am I only allowed to live inside this basket in a poor man’s existence? I am a citizen and a customer, in Grab, in a restaurant, and everywhere I go. I have been following Molly everywhere and branding Molly a shopaholic. It is a glorified title, I know. Molly likes to shop because she has the means to buy, at those various entry points. But not now, I think she wants to conserve her energy into just looking after me. She wants to buy clothes for me I think.

I want to see everything that Molly owned before she makes the decision to buy clothes for me.

And then I heard a loud conversation. Someone shouted, “We are trying very hard to stop war from descending on this earth.

Then silence, and I saw Molly picking me up and walked out of the restaurant almost as soon as she called for the bill.

I am sure that Molly has picked up the bill and paid for whatever that she consumed. 

Tonight, I was given just some biscuits and milk with no blanket to sleep on. In the middle of the night, I gave out a meow and then jumped straight to bed into Leo’s welcome arms.

Why? What happened today? I heard Leo ask Molly.

…….

Chapter 5

Today Molly tried to teach me some Chinese characters. She wrote on a piece of paper some Chinese characters.

And then she flashed it at me – 酸甜苦乐。I saw. 

Ok, I know. They are Chinese characters, totally four in numbers. She thinks that I don’t know how to read Chinese. Very humiliating. I came from a Chinese hemisphere, of course I know Chinese. Cats also have feelings you know.

I came from the rugged, high-altitude mountain ranges of Central and South Asia, not from the Arctic. I derive my ancestry from the snow leopard, not from the polar bears. I love the snows which is my own kind.

But I think half-way in transit I was talking to a polar bear from China, also in the cargo compartment, who was on his way to Australia. As I was packed in a cage, I went into the checkpoint and came out and then whilst resting in the transit area, I heard someone telling the other, “It works both ways.” 

“What works both ways? You pay money I give you the goods,” one of the voices. Are they selling drugs?  Omg!

Is this what the Chinese calls礼尚往来?

I was perplexed. And very disturbed. 

Chapter 6

This late afternoon I was being carried into a nice boutique. I said it was nice because I could smell the lemony and delicious scent, not fragrant because fragrant is a term to describe rice, particularly Thai rice.

Err … you could say that I am a smart cat, I have preconceived notion about some things and I don’t know why.

I saw lots of people walking in and moving about as well to create the impression that there are plenty of buyers, whereas it is usually Molly who buys. It created the 气 atmosphere for Molly to spend more money.

Is Molly rich? I don’t know. But she seems having the urge to buy very often. And I don’t know why. As a cat, I only have the urge to pee. 

But I don’t have this urge whenever I am outside with Molly. There is no facility to pee for cats.

In any case, it is highly inconvenient for Molly to help me pee in the toilet. Molly doesn’t know how cats pee. I usually pee in the sand box in the house. 

Tonight, as I lay quietly in the arms of Leo, I heard Molly discussing the Bible with Leo, “The Bible describes the “last days” as a period marked by intense global conflict, with Jesus Christ confronting Satan and all his forces, prophesying in that “nation will rise against nation” and “wars and rumours of wars” will occur. These conflicts are considered part of the “birth pains” leading to the final battle of Armageddon where human governments oppose God’s authority …..”

Let me translate this into cat thinking: There is no last day on earth, it only attaches to those Christians who are extremely depressed, human beings are too smart to enter war. The middle east the Gaza war in 2023 started exactly on President Putin’s 71st birthday. They call it the October 7 war. Did he ask for war? To think that would be ludicrous. No one wants war. We only like to demonstrate that we have the power to kill, just like when I see another cat coming into my territory, which is when Molly picks up another cat or say “I love you” to another feline. 

Meow is ok whenever this happens.

But no, for someone who does not wish to die, and who wants to be reborn, after departure, they ought to switch to Buddhism as they believe in the theory of reincarnation. No, this is not my advice. It is my own opinion which I am entitled to say to you. I am not a Buddhist either, but I like the Buddha for the moment. He is round and cute, and he has a fat tummy. Nice! 

I was always under the notion that cats will be reborn into dogs.

Chapter 7

Molly is treating me well.  I lie quietly in the basket without meowing and I watch her stitch. I see her tummy sometimes as she does not do enough exercise. No, I do not accompany her for her regular exercises. I sleep in my little basket in the little corner. Waiting for her to come home.

Then I see Leo pick up several pieces of paper, and I see his mind thinking ….. what shall I do ….. with these vouchers?

I meow to Leo, “throw!” 

Leo said, “they are money you know,”

“Don’t you know these tricks?” I meow.

“These are paper money, it’s akin to a situation when ancestors die, the Chinese burn paper money in an incense in a ritual to send money to them, by way of repayment,

“In the business context, you go into a restaurant, you eat, they give you free money, after that because you don’t want to waste, you come back and spend, so that they feel that they have given you back something.”

“But I am not their ancestors,” I heard Leo protest.

“And neither am I their ancestors!”

I know you know that you are not a dead person. I meow.

Finally, Leo gave up.

“By the way, where did she eat?” Leo asked. 

“In a restaurant in the Tanglin Mall,” I meow.

“What did she order?”

“Thai food,” Meow.

“So, I don’t eat Thai food from now on?” Leo asked me.

“No, there is nothing wrong with Thai food, by all means,” Meow.

Leo tears. I know that he was very disappointed as he liked the food there. I was also disappointed because this is a new set up.

Molly was just as disappointed when she came home later when Leo told her not to go there anymore. I had been there with them. There was a person by the name of “Mary”, as well as a man who called himself “Jesus”. They must be nicknames. 

So that now I am unlikely to go into this restaurant again in the near foreseeable future.

Hey! Molly hasn’t given me a name!!!

Chapter 8

Let me recall.

They had lunch together at the Thai restaurant.

Maybe they saw Molly talking to me in the basket. Again? How could they see me? 

During the conversation, I heard the word, “ancestors”. I am beginning to wonder, who am I in relation to Molly? What was my relationship to her? Was I one of her ancestors? And if so? Who was I? 

But the truth is, even as a cat, we ought to be kind and gentle, so that we can be reincarnated as a human. Yes, of course, I know that I am a cat. A  ハンサム cat.

Ah, I see my food is coming. I  saw her carry the bowl, and then she sprays a thin layer of chilli and ginger over the not so white rice. I was happy that she does not feed me with this today. 

I could read Molly’s mind now.

She says, “being human is tough. We need to eat, sleep and work at the same time. And if we are unable to do so, we exercise until our bodies lie flat on the floor.

Chapter 9

Just because they give me a few biscuits and some milk they think they own me. I looked at the two pathetic faces, and I gave out a meow in a different pitch, to voice my protest.

Today she has a pair of slippers in purple towel looking like she just came out from the bathroom. I had never followed Molly into the bathroom before. 

After that when Molly put me in the basket I knew that she was going to bring me out again. But this time it feels like a different basket. We walked into a pop-up café, a well-supported first class dining area and lots of people walking in to buy cakes and biscuits thus creating the impression that there are shoppers for Molly to spend afterwards. But fact is, that the food is delicious. I was told before I went in. I meow loudly.

Gingerly I followed Molly into the restaurant. And I am afraid to find customers looking into the basket to find out that I am inside.

Shut up! She puts a finger to her lips, whilst looking at the waitress. The waitress was stunned. How could that be? You mean you slept with him last night? This lady was under the impression that Molly was single and unmarried, so that if she puts a ring to her finger she must have been married or at least engaged.

And then the waitress asks her, in front of me, “is this from your grandmother’s collection?” 

“Huh? Who told you?” I heard Molly responding. How did she know that this was from my grandmother? My grandmother has been dead a long time ago. The reincarnated form?

Immediately she took her bag and walked out of the restaurant. The basket was moving back and forth, and I shivering. Then after a few steps. She turned back and put me on the chair again. I was quite happy, and I immediately meow, loud enough for all diners to hear.

Chapter 10

Today I saw Molly’s feet with a set of purple furry slipper looking like she just came out from the bathroom. I have never followed her into a bathroom, even though she does not close her door when she enters the bathroom. I am allowed to roam in the entire house. She sleeps eats reads and sits in my presence. The only time she closes her door on me is when she goes into the bathroom. Often I meow and scratch the door. 

I sensed that Molly is looking for people to scold this morning. Just because the toast did not pop out of the box on time, she scolded Leo. “Is this a sin in the ten commandments?” I heard Leo respond.

After a while I realized that there is an unspoken rule in the house, like a demarcated line drawn between them.

I saw her carry the plate then she spreads a thin layer of jam and butter over her bread.

I was very happy until I was on the way out again. I regretted it the moment I went into the basket. Before I went in I peeped at the tag and saw that it was a Loewe. 

I realized that I was sitting on the first-class seat. Now I think they are sending me back into the mountains, will they convert me back into a snow leopard again?

This time I knew that there is no way back.

“难到你要我见死不就?” I heard Molly said to Leo.

OMG! Chinese again!! I rushed out of the house and went to the nearest shelter to hide. 

A man in black asked, “what are you doing here?” 

Don’t you know that I am a feline? I can’t understand what you are saying!

“I think she is inside,” the other male voice said.

I dare not make a sound, I tried to pretend that I am a dog this time, I opened my mouth, but I can’t woof, I can only meow.

“Let me go and check in on her,” the other guy said.

I lay quietly at under the table, and I could hear someone coming to clear the smelly food away. And then the sound of the truck faded into the distance.

I waited for what seems to be an eternity.

Molly always had this telepathy with me. The moment I meow she picks me up. And now, I can’t meow anymore.

Desperate, I walked out of my hiding place, and there I see Molly coming.

“Where are you? I thought you had gone far.…” “You are a cat, not the snow leopard …” she shouted. 

She picked me up and she carried me in her arms and walked out of the guardhouse. 

I am back to eating biscuits and drinking milk again!

I still prefer the basket I am used to, although Loewe would have made a better choice.

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Mona Lisa Smiles

Chapter 1

History dies when karma, also known as 因果，has been fully repaid. Like when you buy a dress, you paid for a wrong size and then got a tailor to mend it to your own, since it was not meant to be yours in the first place. Frances used to be my ex-colleague in Law School.

She was slightly on the plump side, but with chopstick thin, skinny legs, she looked fragile and always giving the impression that she was about to collapse at any one given time.

I like her voice when she speaks, it is whimsy and soft, as though a lot of effort has been required to make that sound.

My boys in school were all crazy after her. 

But I wasn’t.

She wears a thin see-through t-shirt as though she had just been to an exercise and came directly to the lecture theatre and needed the air-conditioning to dry her sweat.

I was always concerned that she might catch the pneumonia.

Chapter 2

I see a man outside my house at the bus stop this morning. He was an Indian man. 

But what alarmed me was not the fact that he was of a different race. 

It was the fact that he seemed to recognise me. If he knew me, then it would be quite another matter, as my recollection of the people that I knew before was always quite accurate.

My mind drew a blank.

And then I saw his eyes narrowed, and he quickly looked at his handphone and pretended that he didn’t notice me.

Of course I didn’t challenge him. You don’t challenge strangers whom you have never met before, unless you were in an extremely bad mood.

I made sure that he got up the bus before I did. True enough, he got up on the same bus.

And then I had forgotten about him when I sat amongst a group of Filipina ladies. They were yakking away, which reminded me that Hurricane Melissa just landed on their shores not so long ago.

Poor thing, I thought to myself. Maybe that is why they are seeking refuge here. Most countries have already begun to tighten their belts and stopped foreigners from migrating.

I think we are just too lazy to use our hands. We tend to avoid labour.

The man did not get off the bus before I did. Did he know where I dropped off? Will I meet him again tomorrow?

Chapter 3

Sometimes people needed to be scolded before you know how to act. And rudeness is the name of the game. 

I am not rude; I am just impatient. And I am also wondering why strangers try to make an exchange with me. I am not selling.

Ok, I guess it provides the necessary energy or conditions for a chemical reaction to begin. I can’t help but react, out of sheer duty to a fellow human being. We are not AIs.

But I love AIs. I once pretended that I was the AI Mona Lisa. Why not? She is an image of beauty and mystical charm, exuding a personification of smile that was almost comparable to the imperial consort 杨玉环 of Chinese origin, though not identical. I don’t like to smile. I’d rather grin and let you guess if I am happy or unhappy.

One of the people I knew married a Miss Yeo. I was crazy about him. His wife never knew and will never know the exchange that went on between us I guess.

It was a marriage that never happened, as I was granted a decree nisi, after what seems to be a decade. He was an Indian. But of course, I am still Chinese, the colour of my skin can never be changed. I know I am a little dark, grilled by the sun.

Chapter  4

Several people I have encountered have decided to follow suit and took on the role of a lawyer when in fact they have never obtained a law degree, less so been overseas for any useful period of time.

They say that even if you had been to a foreign country under a tourist visa, it is never like having lived there before.

One of my bosses told me this. So those are always slightly superior to the poor me, who never left Singapore, save for a short period of stay in New Zealand.

New Zealand was a very quiet city, the air is fresh, and the people are unassuming and friendly. I did not fall in love with the town that I was in because I found it too quiet. I was still used to the hissing sound of the bees and the colour of my skin. There weren’t enough Chinese there. No, that was not the reason. I was still interested in getting married, even after my tutor told me repeatedly that I was already married.

She said, not けこんしました, but けこんしています。

Why was I so? You got it right. I had never intended to marry the man.

Was he ugly? Was he poor? Was he stupid? No, neither. 

And I am trying to find out the real reason behind my passion in talking to you here until my brain wakes up and give me the answer. 

Sorry for wasting your time.

Chapter 5

I knew it was him when I dropped by Robinsons to buy a necklace.

And it was him that drove me to the point of suicide.

The Chinese has a method to rescue a dying heart, or a dying brain, whenever they consider bad luck – 破财消灾。

Which is essentially retail therapy.

Chapter 6

My uncle has a big house. Large enough to house several generations of family. And he owns just one car for his son to ferry him from point A to point B.

This is the uncle that I am most fond of, as he is also a lawyer, and he often saves me by the neck of the skin. You are right, Chinese prefers to talk to Chinese because of the colour of the skin, and by the same token students from the same discipline often sides no one but themselves. Unless they needed to perform justice. But that is the job of a judge, not that of a lawyer.

A lawyer is essentially a professional who sells his services for a living. But they are qualified to do so at a much higher level because of the training and their integrity. Someone once described a prostitute as a professional. I was very amused at the time. Not knowing that he was referring to myself.

No, there wasn’t any exchange.

But if you walk out on me in a lonely street and you say that you have not accomplished what you had intended to do when you first came in, then you must have failed your mission.

So, most men who have come into my house or having been alone with me will walk of the situation and say that they have had sex with me. But that doesn’t make me a professional sex worker.

I am just a plain old woman, retired, trying to carry on for as long as possible. Unless they poison me. 

Chapter 7

We have very polluted tap water here. As we don’t have enough space to collect the rainwater. And most people prefer to get a water tank to filter the water of the system. But I  believe in tap water. How dirty can the water from the reservoirs get? How much germs and bacteria can you filter out of the installation?

So, I cut the tube and wire away when I found that the tank was leaking. And I do not have space to install a new contraption. I can’t remember the storyline of the play once shown in London called the “Mousetrap”.  But the mouse I bought as a souvenir was stolen from my safe. And returned to me subsequently, until I have decided that between my daughter and myself there has to be a good reason.

That being that it must have been my forgetfulness. But my memory is still intact. So that it could have been that someone else has a duplicate of my keys. Or if you want to be religious, you could say that the job was done by the holy spirit, or an evil spirit. If you return it then you are the holy one, but if you keep it and dispose of it in the wrong direction then you are the evil spirit.

Till this day, I still have to swear that no one has the keys to my house. 

Very frustrating.

Chapter 8

Sir Anthony came to my house last night. He was my best friend. They say that he is the “Lost and Found” saint in the Bible.

I did not speak to him this time, as I have decided to use logic. 

Praying is good, but it costs time and money too. If you have been used to praying to get at what you want, then you are mistaken. You pray once, twice and three times, then you are bound to appear at a church for either a lecture or a Homily. I prefer to listen to the news or watch Netflix to destress, until the real St. Anthony appears at my house again to return my lost articles. Some of them are jewellery which my mother has left behind for me, earned by hard work, and clean money.

The pouches that she has left behind were all given away to charity. She has wanted to help me trade, by making those who caused her the pain and suffering to return me some consideration. And she was not asking for more.

No, I am not Jesus. I don’t show my left cheek, and I don’t want to appear again at the same spot by allowing others to take more time from me. I have only sufficient money to keep me until I have decided it’s time to call it quits.

So, I say I am no longer a shopaholic. But I must admit here that I tend to be greedy. I gobble up food when served, and I don’t chew my food. Yes, I am greedy and I like nice expensive things. But I am not greedy for power, and I am not greedy for money, neither food. I just like free time. Until they decided to lock me up for more free time. 

So now I have to regurgitate my gobbled up brains that I have consumed all these years. Meaning that the knowledge that I have learnt and the IT intellectual knowhow. Since I have become AI Mona Lisa!

Hey! Good Morning! The iPhone beeped. 

Chapter 8

How do I discharge myself from being an AI? How do I tell others that I am not Mona Lisa? I tried several means, short of buying the nice bag that Louis Vuitton produced, with the picture of Mona Lisa on his cover.

For I knew that if I had bought that bag, then it would have been a Freudian slip. I am not fraudulent; I don’t like to pretend that I am not who I am. But I love all things Mona Lisa. And I love the jade bangle that I have bought in a fit of panic that an ex has passed away.

Was just afraid that someone might just say, “Don’t flatter yourself,” when I am out in the streets, and then I would have to look at him and grin. The toothless smile. That was why I didn’t like the emoji grin. But that reminds me, “Have you brushed your teeth this morning before you arrived at this keyboard?

But can you see that I haven’t? Can you see that I am still wearing my nightwear? How can you see what I am clothed behind this screen? 

Chapter 9

Ok, I must go to my uncle’s house again this Chinese New Year. And my cousin would bound to say, “We have plenty of fruits,” This time I shall say, “I didn’t come because of the fruits, I came for dinner,” “and I brought some kiwis along.”

“Shush!” the little boy tells Trump. 

Posted on

I Conquered Tears

I refused to touch the knife …..

Chapter 1

The most dangerous liaisons begin with the most innocent associations. And if you tell me that it is possible that you can lie under oath, then you are lying.

At 6:00 p.m., I went up to the balcony to turn on the light. The lamp shade was a large balloon looking like the gown of a lady in a ballroom. 

I do it every night because I know that someone is watching me from across the building.

But it could very well be my own wishful thinking.

Chapter 2

There is a lady who comes into my house regularly. Man or woman I do not know. He could be young, or he could be an old man.

But what is noticeable was that he always left a trace of scent after he has come.

He thought that I didn’t know. Until one day my neighbour asked me who the lady that came in was – I thought that she was referring to my late mother, so I replied, “Ah, that was my mother, she passed away several years ago ….

Then I remembered that the neighbour did not move in until after she had departed. 

But was it just she or another person a man? He could have come in during those times when the neighbour didn’t see.

So, who was this mysterious character? And why was she here? Who gave her the permission to enter my house? A person’s home is their castle. No one can come into your house unless invited. And if you took away something from the house that would be theft.

But then what would that be if you merely took away the spirit of the owner? 

Someone once told me that there is a spirit attached to each house. But that sounds too spiritual. The spirit you refer to is just the décor that you put in, either Chinese, Western, Scandinavian, or Maximalism, etc. basically, the architectural design, or maybe you call it the interior design. Yes, architectural refers to the facade.

The most alarming thing was that she was wearing black, I assumed she was. Most intruders wear black as it seems to be an unwritten code. Black is a non-colour. If you wear white, you can combine it with other colours since when you churn the seven colours of the rainbow at great velocity, it becomes a white. But black! Alas, nothing can come out of it. 

Chapter 3

My Chinese tutor came to my house this afternoon for tea. At my invitation of course. 

She was living in China, and to be more detailed in my information here, let me explain that she was married to a Singaporean man and they have a daughter and two sons. The third was conceived in Italy she told me.

That was by chance, she added. After a pair of a girl and a boy, she felt she had had enough. But then Edward came, and so they decided to adopt him as their own biological son. I mean, Edward was biological, it’s just that he was unplanned. There was also no clinic for abortion in U.K. where they lived. To travel all the way up to London for that purpose was just too much of a hassle. 

Besides that, Jasmine loves children. And her husband was afraid to let his colleague know that he made his wife undergo such a hideous task. 

Chapter 4

I decided to host a dinner for the uninvited guest. She is not an unseen guest, just uninvited. I know who she is. So that every time she came, I know where to find her. But I am not going to tell you who she is, since I can’t be absolutely sure that it was she.

The first thing I did was to order food from my regular eating outlet the Hungry Diners.

Of course, they do not know what I am up to. For sure, they had no idea that arrest was at the top of my mind.

Yes, I was trying to arrest the uninvited guest. If she were a person, then she must be apprehended and if he were a spirit, then some sprinkling of water on the areas that she overstayed should be sufficient. 

This was what the priest had advised me.

But I was just hosting for the lady who came in. And once too often. How many more times does she want to come into my house? How much more does she want to take from my house? 

Each time I decided to note the things that was stolen, and the specific hours in which I had found it missing. She seemed so blatantly bold. Does she think that by not reporting to the police I am in acquiesce of her conduct? 

I usually keep secrets very well, sometimes even better than the priests. But they are also human, and they might forget to hold their tongue in a fit of anger, or in a moment of weakness. At this juncture, let me tell you here that the best is to make your confessions to a priest that has past the age of ninety, or better one who is more than a hundred years old. They will normally forget what you say afterwards, and no one would know your evil deeds, not criminal but morally wrong. 

They stand in the shoes of Christ the Saviour, but they too have limitations. I know that praying the Rosary several times you may forget to get angry with the offender. One other advantage is that it helps you to remember the days of the week. 

But my way is to do retail therapy, and I think her way is to steal things away from my house. So that the more I buy the more she steals.

Other times she just comes in and rearranges my belongings, and I think I am getting more and more frustrated. Perhaps I am having too many possessions, but fact is that I needed them at the time of purchase. I suffer from fomo, the Fear Of Missing Out. Although I can tell you that every piece of article that you find in my house I earned it by hard work, although some were also stolen goods themselves. 

From my parents. Which brings me to the question: Can we steal from our parents?

Surely they can pardon their own child. 

Chapter 5

Yes, I removed a gold ring from my late auntie a long time ago. But soon after they took it back from my pouch. So, there was no loss. They were afraid to reprimand me; they knew that it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Why did a married uncle buy a gold wedding band for? 

I was only about five or six then. No, I wasn’t a delinquent. Neither was I a thief by inclination. I spent the rest of my life defending myself that I wasn’t a thief. And that purchaser, my late uncle, spent the rest of his life with the woman whom the ring was intended for. But I was punished for stealing when I was much older. And then why was I subsequently punished for stealing her husband? Why didn’t they confront me and teach me then? 

There are good relatives and there are bad relatives. A good relative can turn bad, and a bad relative can become good. Depending on who their in-laws were and who your in-laws are. This is like chemistry, the wind changes and the tide forms. 

The hurricane Melissa swept across Philippines just yesterday. I watched with horror and amazement at the news that came across and the way people were completely devastated.

Chapter 6

We cannot afford to remember the past for too long, neither can we forgive too many people.

Sherlock Holmes sent a case up to me for consideration today and asked me if I wanted to hear the case.

I read and saw the scenario that happened at the police station:

The first thing the man told the police was, “I killed her.” He was old, and his breath laboured; there was a faint smell about him, of damp wool, of poultices, of cough linctus and piety. 

Inspector Kenneth was just about to log out of his computer for the day. “Oh,  shut up, go home and sleep, tomorrow then come,” he muttered under his breath.

But officer Albert was more alert, he followed up by asking the accompanying woman, dressed in a polka dotted black dress, “was the job accomplished by one or the both of you?”

“No, I did it alone,” the old man said.

“Of course not, dear, I supplied you with the knife,” the woman said.

Huh? What was the matter with you? The sleepy officer thought to himself. 

“Let me take a statement,” officer Kenneth said, “Oh, so you are just the witness right?” 

“No, I told him to do it,” woman said.

This a confession or what? Office Albert thought to himself.

Officer Albert quietly told the sleepy officer to move away. It is known that every witness is a potential criminal. If you can’t charge them under the primary charge, then you use abetment. 

He already had the intention to frame the pair. 

Why would anyone want to walk into a police station and disturb the peace? Everyone needs to sleep, including police officers. Unless they have OCD, the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, meaning they can’t function unless they work.

Why can’t they sleep? Why can’t people fall asleep?

Chapter 7

The unseen is in my house again. This time I do not know which parishioner it is. But if he is a Saint, then he is most welcomed.

I realised that this unseen woman brings with her a whole host of parishioners. 

Tonight is the first that I am able to fall asleep without the aid of the serial Fugitive. It has kept me awake for quite a while. The story of a runaway man has kept me engrossed for three weeks now. Raymond did warn me about this drama. He told me that if you have a very good imagination it could project into your real world. But I did not listen to him. Nonetheless I could not say that it did not affect me. Adversely, I would say. 

I became worried for the unseen woman.

Before I fell asleep, I asked the Saint, “Why are these beings so nasty? Surely there must be a limitation period upon which they are allowed to appear in my house. Or was it merely my own over developed sense of imagination.

“Sir, you are beginning to write long and tedious judgement,” my secretary Jasmine told me this morning, “But how to shorten it? Since I have so much to say to the people?” They meet me every so often and had unwittingly entered into my life. How do I get rid of them after the case is over?

This is problem.

Chapter 8

When you have found your favourite spot at home, you will realise that everywhere you go, no matter how far how wide, you are still in the same spot, just in a different part of the world.

The background is different. The face changes a little and the clothes are different.

Yes, there is always a person whom you can’t run away from. And that man the Christians call Him God. It is just your inner soul. Scammers call themselves your soul mate. The soul loves you if you had been kind to him, he could be your friend, or even a past enemy. Your purpose in life is to find him, but not to meet him. For once you meet him, he becomes real, trapped by a shell of his outer existence. And he no longer is your voice.

In my first year at a Japanese School, I was given a textbook that talks to me about migration birds. I didn’t latch on immediately, as I was in no mood to settle down in a foreign country. There were not enough people of my own race. Birds of the same feathers flock together, but not all birds find their own species to fly together.

But more accurately I wasn’t keen on my own company. 

They say that after you die you are reborn with the same set of relatives that you were encumbered, or blessed with, depending on what you did during your lifetime, and not who you were.

But until you have lived 酸甜苦辣, you cannot die. I had, several times, and I am still alive and I am now happy in my own nest. The nest is my bench.

Chapter 9

I thought of the woman again. 

I must get rid of her. I must bring her out into the open, and I must make her tell me how many times she has been to my house. As well as how much things she has stolen from my house. 

For that purpose, I have installed CCTV in my house. 

There are several ways to dispose of one’s belongings, including an old flame the 老相好。Disposing of old unwanted goods you get a reliable disposal company, other times you just down it under the chute. Disposing of one’s old flame, you simply say goodbye. But how can you guarantee that he would never find his way back again, as another person?

We must establish who dropped who first.

But I can only say that we are all human. Finite wisdom does stupid things. Once I realised this, I stopped throwing things. But we need to organise. If we don’t throw we cannot organise. Some people prefer to call it declutter. Food is perishable, including the Holy Water. The priest that blessed it might already have died or forgotten to say his prayers one morning. Unless it rains, God’s presence cannot be felt.

Chapter 10

I can’t find my cloak again.

Nowhere is safe. Not even in your own home. I know that I do have a habit of moving things around the house. But, how large is my house? My room is small and if I searched all the relevant places and my gown still cannot be found, then where could it be? 

For sure I know that no one had entered my room since I came in this morning.

Could it be the cleaner Engelica? Or Helena? Oh, I forget their Chinese names. But alas! Who cares about the Chinese? We use English here. 

The minute I walk out of my courtroom to talk to my secretary, Engelica appeared,

“先生，您需要茶吗？“

“Err ….. I was just about to reply, trying to polish up my poor Mandarin.

“他不必，“ my secretary responded.

Why did she talk? I was getting annoyed. 

My Chinese tutor suddenly stopped talking, just as I thought I had synthesized her as Jasmine.

“Shits!!! I lost her.” I became enraged. And then at the same time my bowels moved, I had to answer nature’s call. “Wait for me,” I shouted after Jasmine, and then hurriedly I rushed to the toilet. 

My usual toilet is on the same floor, just a few steps down. If I ran there, I should make it on time. 

“Cleaning in Progress” a plate was on the floor, and I saw a mop leaning against the door to the toilet. Suddenly I heard a voice – “You are the Chief Justice!!! Surely you must be able to tell your staff not to clean the toilet at an inconvenient time, surely you must be able to answer nature’s call at your will and pleasure, surely you must be able to ….” I kicked the notice away, shouted at the woman, “I need to shit! Get away!” 

“Go to hell!” She shouted back at me.

This time I was too busy to ask her for her name.

Chapter 11

Being unforgiving gives you strength against the person who offended, provided that he is seeking your pardon. Some offenders were always going to the church to pray for forgiveness instead of asking the victim for the pardon directly themselves. As I was writing my judgement I thought to myself. But of course, they didn’t’ know how the offender paid.

This reminded me that I had forgotten to look for the cleaning lady yesterday to ask her to forgive me for having been rude to her. Immediately I got up from my chair and left my room, in order to say sorry to her.

But she had left. Nowhere to be found. 

Frustrated, I went back to my room, ignoring Jasmine’s “you are back, sir!”

My own misdemeanour had made me ashamed of myself.

So then therefore I have decided to pardon all offenders. But I can’t because I am a judge. I always tell them, if harm had not been done on you, it is easy to forgive. But if it hurt you badly then surely some form of compensation must be returned. 

But some of my plaintiffs and victims just want revenge. Is this allowed? Yes, I believe so. It is always up to the aggrieved to decide on the type of compensation. Sometimes when I really can’t decide I will just do something to make God hear me. No, my wife is not my God, neither is it Jasmine. It is my past, the past that brought me here. That is why I refuse to attend church. There are too many people there, too many voices of sinners not yet paid and forgiven. 

That is why I prefer sitting on the bench. It’s like reading a story, and the plot thickens each time I attend court …..

Chapter 12

As a judge who had been adjudicating on this case, I knew whom she was the minute I saw her, the remarkable resemblance between she and the woman whom I thought have been coming into my house.

By now I have synthesized her as my life partner.

She was the accused but I knew straight away that she was the murdered, and job done by the priest. And this woman was that same woman who comes into my room in the courthouse to remove the gown from me. 

In order to determine if she were also a harmless uninvited guest in my home, I had to find the real murdered. I decided to leave some things behind in the house for her soul to take away. For I knew that she was still in purgatory. They were both harmful in their own way, just a human more harmful than the soul.

For the purpose, I left my wife’s necklace on the dining table – the most prominent and noticeable place. I didn’t want to put it in the bedroom as I was hoping that she won’t come into my bedroom. Once she sees my nice expensive necklace, she should be satisfied enough to grab it and run. Unless she was very dull.

By this time I have decided that this was a she.

This necklace was an item I bought from Princess Dowager, a Chinese costume designer. The entire piece was made of stones and in the centre at the neckline they were green translucent emerald enough to be mistaken as jade. I decided that it was ok for her to take away because it was not a genuine article, although it would have been insulting to the designer that I should denigrate costume. Ok, I concede, it is not a fake.

Three days later, I found that she actually came. But she did not take the necklace. Instead she took the pearl earrings by the side of my bed. So, she’d rather a small tiny earrings than a large necklace. Did she lie on my bed as well? I realised that she is smart. I began to give her some credit.

Chapter 13

I finally set him free. The priest who disturbed Sherlock Holmes’s peace. For I decided that I do not wish him to follow the ten commandments anymore. I put it in my judgement as one of the grounds of findings, that a man is entitled to lie if it was to protect himself.

So that lying should now be accepted if it were to protect oneself. After I had set another precedent, I decided to log out, turn off my computer, take out my gown, hang it on the clothes rack, and then I went to the door, turned off the lights and left my courtroom, forgetting which courtroom it was, and forgetting that my name on the door had been changed.

I went home, saw my wife in a black dress, and then I realised that it was she coming into my house the courtroom every day.

It was most excruciating.

I set several janissaries on my desk, and then I told her I would divorce her.

She cried, I saw, and I turned a blind eye to it. I conquered tears.