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The woman with the umbrella ….

Chapter 1

Every morning I woke up thinking that today was yesterday. 

I woke up this morning and found several people waiting for me. I didn’t know any of them. 

I took time to survey the surroundings. The walls were wallpapered, the furniture a dark oak colour, giving the entire room an English Laura Ashley feel. I was no expert in interior designing, but I could tell that this was an expensive house. 

“Rosalind! Ethan is awake.” A woman spoke to the other woman who stood next to her. 

“Laura, not to worry, I will look after him from now on,” the woman said. I meant, Rosalind said. 

“How do you feel?” One of them lowered his head and asked me. Then I saw three persons standing by my bed. 

“Huh?” I whispered. 

My entire body was weak and my head a cloud, as though someone had given me a bottle of Volka the night before. 

I didn’t normally drink. In fact, I didn’t drink at all. 

What did I do last night? I couldn’t recall. 

So I looked at the man dressed in blue, and I said, “I need a glass of water,” 

That was the best thing I could ask for. But then I added, “coffee is better.” 

“No problem,” the man in blue said. 

“I think he is out of danger now,” Rosalind said. 

Chapter 2

I remembered coming here before. I didn’t remember coming here before. 

As I tried to recall where I was I looked at my surroundings – beige wallpaper with small flowers and a small clock on the wall. The clock was hexagon with a thick white frame. I almost felt like I was the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland. 

“Tea will be served punctually at 3:00 p.m. every day,” the blue man said to me. 

“Huh? What time is it now?” I needed to know if I were waking up from the night’s sleep or having just got up from an afternoon nap. I knew that I had been asleep for a long while, for as long as I could remember. 

Who was the last person I spoke to before I went to bed? Gosh! I couldn’t remember. 

Chapter 3

I remembered the house that I used to live in. The sun shone over the trees and into the gardens without fail. Whenever you inclined your ears to the sound of life you could hear the birds chirping happily. The windows of the houses were shut so that the sunrays reflected from it and gave the entire house a feeling of warm hot air. 

I didn’t normally go for walks but suddenly I felt the urge. I tried to get up, and the blue man caught my arm. I thought that he was trying to help me get out of the bed but actually he was just holding me to sit upright. 

“No, you can’t go out like this, not in this state,” the blue man said. 

I didn’t know him, and why was he telling me what to do? But I thought it best not to speak now. My throat was dry. 

The other two just stood there, on standby waiting for instructions from him. 

“Turn on the television,” I ordered the blue man. 

Dutifully he went to the television set. The remote control lying by the console. He picked it up, and then he handed it to me when I thought he was going to turn it on. 

Quite pissed off, I dropped the gadget on my lap. Just at this time one of the other two spoke. 

“He is still having the concussion after the car accident,” 

“Why not?” I asked. 

The two looked at each other. I think they were Rosalind and Laura. 

Chapter 4

I didn’t know what time I went to bed last night. All I knew was that I had a good night’s rest. I woke up feeling quite refreshed, but I didn’t see anybody this morning when I woke up. And I saw a bear sitting on the sofa chair in the room. 

A bouquet of mixed flowers was lying in a vase large enough to sit on the floor for some potted plants. 

The thing that disturbed me was that there was no one here to greet me this morning. Maybe I woke up too late and that they had all come and gone. 

I tried to move my legs a little but they were numb. Only the upper half of my body was working. I stretched out my hand to pick up the glass of water by the bedside, as that seemed to be the only thing to do right now. A long string with a bell attached was by the side of my bed. I thought of whether I should call for someone. But I didn’t want to be a nuisance right now. 

Outside the sun was bright and I could see some trees a distance away. Just at this time, I caught sight of a woman knocking at the window. 

“You want to come in?” I asked her but I was sure that she couldn’t hear me. So I raised my voice, “You want to come in?” 

A woman in pink uniform came in immediately. “Sir, you called?” she asked. 

Chapter 5

I set the alarm for waking up in eight hours’ time. But when I woke up I found that I had overslept by another three hours so that my total hours of sleep for drinking alcohol beforehand was altogether eleven hours. 

I went to the toilet and saw a woman scrubbing the floor. 

“I want to go out,” I said. 

“You could ask to leave but then the rest of the residents would say that you were mad.” 

By mad I think she meant crazy. I forgot that I was recovering from a car accident. Was I the only survivor? 

I told myself to be calm, “by dawn tomorrow I should be able to get out,” I was sure. But to where? I was in my own house! 

Chapter 6

Dinner was served not long after I woke up. The lady serving the food was systematic and had our names by the side of the tray. Tightly wrapped in cellophane the food was transported from some kitchen not located in these premises, if my guess was correct. 

I was allergic to some foods, like oysters. They looked awful and have a strong iron smell. It was not that I have not tried them before. I did but I did not like it. So I never went near oysters again. Luckily the food was easily recognizable. You could always see some blood stains oozing out from the meat. 

After a long tussle with my digestion system I became sleepy but I didn’t want to go to sleep. Having to keep oneself awake was a chore and almost impossible when you were sleepy. 

We all needed sleep, but not all of us needed so much sleep.

Chapter 7

They said that when you were depressed you saw everything in grey, that for instance, pink flowers appeared to you as blue or lavender, that everything was exaggerated. In practical terms, it was as though you put a layer of thin coloured film over everything you saw. The world was less happy, and the log cake less creamy. 

I was no expert in the illness, in fact I didn’t think that depression was an illness at all. I just happened to turn on the television and I saw this documentary. And then just as I was about to turn it off the blue man came in. He said it was time he took my blood pressure. 

I didn’t know what that was for and why I needed it, I rolled up my sleeve for him, before he had any chance to call the nurse to come in. I didn’t want too many people in my room. It gave me the feeling as though I was about to die, and giving my survivors my last words. 

The blue man didn’t come in with his stethoscope so I was sure that he wasn’t a doctor. Doctors didn’t measure blood pressure. It was considered to be a menial task. 

I called him the blue man as he never wore any other colour in all of the appearances. 

After all that fuss, my blood pressure appeared to be normal. No reason why it should not. My blood pressure had always been normal. And I have not been doing any exercises that would pump up the measure. As a matter of fact, I had been in bed since I woke up the other day. 

Chapter 8

After one week of confinement, I realized that there was no need to make any distinction between being awake and being asleep. I was in bed anyway. 

I got restless. And I wanted to see the rest of the world there – outside my window. 

The woman that knocked on my window has since stopped coming. And the stains of bird shit on the window had been removed without my knowledge. 

Apart from watching television and having my meals, I had no other activity. All I wanted was someone to talk to. So I asked the blue man when he came in again, if I could go out and meet some of the other people staying here. He said yes.

Chapter 9

This morning Rosalind came in with a smile on her face. I happened to be seated on the chair having my morning coffee. The manner in which she tidied up my sheets and arranged the pillows was very business-like. I watched her in silence and then I opened my mouth, 

“Are you new?” 

I think she heard me but she did not answer. So I ventured again. 

“Are you newly assigned to my room?” making my question clearer. 

This time she answered. 

“No, Sir,” and then she continued using her feather duster to clean the rest of the furniture in the room. There were very few pieces, so that by the time she was done with my side table, she had to come over to where I was seated to clean. 

“I want to go out to the gardens,” I felt this to be the right time to be making my request. “No, Sir, you can’t,” she replied. 

“Why not?” I asked. 

She had no answer to that so she quickly dropped her chores and proceeded to the door. I almost wanted to get up from my chair to block her from going out. But I was too weak. My muscle wasn’t taking my orders. 

I sank back into my chair and I think I wanted to call someone to complain. 

Chapter 10

I poked my head out of the large swing door and stepped back into my room when I saw a woman in pink seated at a counter. The heavy wooden door swung back into place and locked me in again. 

No one told me I couldn’t go out. It was just that I didn’t feel it proper to do so. By proper I meant that I had no good reason to be outside. The room was contained and compact. It had everything that I needed – a television set and a sofa chair together with a bed and also that I need not go outside to use the toilet. 

Oh yes, Rosalind hasn’t come in today to ruffle my bedsheets. 

And that was what I had to go out for. But now I was back in. Since I remembered what I was trying to do, I made another attempt to go out again. 

This time I ventured beyond the service counter. No one bothered about me. I was quite happy to be walking along the corridor and then I suddenly discovered that I had not brought my slippers with me. Immediately I rushed back to my room. 

When I came back into my room, I found the blue man waiting for me. I knew what he was here for. 

He wanted me to write my will.

Chapter 11

Since that day, I have not seen the woman knocking at my window. I was actually waiting for her, since having someone causing a commotion in my area was an event that I looked forward to. I was getting bored. Having no pressing matters, anything was welcome. 

Speaking of the devil, the woman appeared at my window again. 

“Hey, can I talk to you?” I thought I heard her say. 

I went straight to the window. There was no catch. All the panels were sealed tight. That was strange! Every window must have an opening. What was the purpose of a window when it could not open? I couldn’t think of a good reason and then I waved at the woman to acknowledge the fact that I saw her from inside. I wanted to ask her where she came from, and how she came to be here also. 

I was happy to be here, as I couldn’t recall where I used to be staying, as though my life began from this room. Nothing in the past mattered. It was just too troublesome to recall. 

Chapter 12

This afternoon I found an oyster in my tray. I didn’t eat the food and so I had to call someone to remove it from my plate, although I could have eaten around it, meaning to say that I ate everything else on the plate and left the morsel untouched. I threw the oyster out and put it on the table. 

“Sir, it hasn’t past its expiry date,” Rosalind commented when she came in later to remove the tray. 

“When was the expiry date?” automatically I asked. 

“1st December,” as though I didn’t know the year, she added, 

“2016”. 

And then I went back to the television. There didn’t seem to have more than two channels. I was getting bored with just the Korean drama and the kids channel. What has happened to the rest of the world? 

Have I just died? This seemed to be heaven – no need to report to work, no compulsory meetings, no need to record minutes. But hey, they said that heaven was a place where you need only sing and worship. I quickly grabbed the remote control to get the current news. 

Ok, since I was in heaven now. When did I ascend? And then I suddenly remembered my Rosary. I groped for it under my pillow for this was the place I always kept it. Oh but that was not this bed. With a faint tinge of hope, I went to my bed and pulled out my pillow, the pillow had light pink flowers. But this was not my point, the point was that I saw my Rosary, right there staring at me. 

Who put it there? As now I realized that I had not been sleeping on my own bed all along. Whose bed was this? Whose house was this?

Chapter 13

Today my lunch turned out to be curry chicken. I remembered that at the beginning of the week, I was given a chart to choose my menu for the week. And I distinctly remembered that curry chicken wasn’t on the list. What happened to the pork chop and sour fish? 

And then I saw a banana. No, it was not unusual to see a banana. We have bananas in Singapore, we are a tropical city. But that the one that I saw which came with my food on the tray was half black, almost ready to be thrown away. What made the kitchen staff think that it was edible? 

All food on the tray must be eaten. Otherwise I might not be served again. I was told that throwing food away was a sin. Many people in the third world countries were starving and more die out of hunger. I looked at the banana, and the banana looked at me. Finally, I gave in. I took it, peeled out the skin and I started to eat it. 

I swore at the cook. I swore at the lady who brought in the tray. I swore at the man who read the television. And finally I swore at my parents. And then I knew that that was it. It could not have been their doing as they were long gone. 

What message was the kitchen trying to convey to me? Was the kitchen trying to tell me that I have been eating too much fruits? Or were they trying to tell me that I was a yellow banana, making fun of me for the fact that I spoke no Chinese. 

Yes, I was English educated. I spoke only English even though I was Chinese. But that has nothing to do with my current state of affairs. I was here because I sold my house. My house was sold because I had to leave. But why did I have to leave? 

Chapter 14

Laura came to see me today. Nowadays usually I didn’t remember people by their names. It was hard. I could never remember from where I last saw them. And I often had to ask them for the context in which I last met them before I could talk to them properly. 

She came with a set of papers for me to sign. I saw the document and remembered that I had to sign the same things before. So why this time again? And then I looked at the title: 

The Will of Ethan Fong Seng Nam

Oh yeah, this was a will drafted by me. I scrambled for the date and found that it was 12 June 2015. I was to put my signature down for the sale of my property known as Bali Green. Bali Green was where I lived. So this was not Bali Green?! 

“No, I don’t want to sign this,” I protested. 

“But you had agreed,” Laura said. 

“I don’t remember,” I put my pen down. 

Laura’s face turned white, as she was completely flabbergasted. 

Just at this time my tea came in. A scone set and a cup of tea. I had ordered English Breakfast. There were some black spots on the scones. 

“Why the black spots?” I took this opportunity to raise an objection. 

“Sir, they are raisins,” Laura looked at me with disgust. And I read her: are you an idiot?

Laura left without my signature. 

Chapter 15

Perhaps if Laura didn’t give me the document yesterday, I wouldn’t have been able to recall that I had a house …. and that I was staying in a hospital now. But was this my new house? This place seemed like a hotel more than a hospital, too many people bubbling in here. For one, I didn’t have food brought into my room before. 

Finally, when I had decided that I wanted to see Laura again, I informed the blue man. The blue man was handy. He was always ready to help me with my request. And the funny thing was that I still didn’t know what his role was in this entire set up. 

I lived day to day. I decided it best not to ask too many questions. Life was tolerable if not wonderful. Everything seemed to be running smoothly. The lady came in and tidied my sheets every morning. She took my dirty towels out to wash. I observed her. She seemed quite happy at her job. She ruffled my sheets with a kind of enthusiasm that made one think that she will be amply rewarded afterwards. And she was rather fast at tugging the lines back into their respective corners. 

I couldn’t say that I was happy about this state of affairs. Neither was I unhappy about it. I let things pass. I let the world go by. The news on television did not affect me too much. 

Chapter 16

And then news came that Prince Harry was to marry the American actress Meghan Markle. That cheered me up tremendously – not that I was going to be invited to their wedding ceremony. It was just a piece of cheerful news. I guess unless it affected the ordinary world, it won’t go into the news. But what was an ordinary world? 

My house was sold, and therefore my world was different now. And then I met with a car accident during the course of the transaction. 

I got up from bed almost immediately, wanting to go back to my own house. I meant, my old house. My favourite furniture was there. They followed me from the other old house. And from the older house to the old house. My Barbie doll my best companion had disappeared. I had not seen her for weeks. What had happened to her? She couldn’t have walked out on me, she couldn’t walk! 

Immediately I made plans to go back to my old house to look for her. Even if my house were sold there must be someone living in it. There has to be a new owner. And my doll must still be there, waiting for me to fetch her. I became excited. I went to dress, no, I needed to call for transport first. I started pacing up and down my own room, and then I tripped on the table leg and toppled over my jug of water. It was left there for me – I was supposed to finish one jug a day. The blue man said that the doctor told me that it was good for my health. 

Doctor! I was suddenly acquainted with the idea of a doctor. Since when? The word just slipped in. I didn’t remember seeing a doctor. Was I ill? Since when? And what could be the illness? 

I remembered that I had chicken curry yesterday. And then this morning I had two pieces of French toast for breakfast. What did I do yesterday? 

Chapter 17

Like a phantom she appeared to me in the dark. I saw her face. It was white and her cheek bones were very high. She had makeup on, like one of the actresses in a horror movie. I opened my mouth and asked her, 

“What do you want from me?” but I think in reality she couldn’t hear me. 

My words were soft and powerless, as though it were just a thought. I said it many times and only after several times did she obey me. And before she left, she threw me a sentence, 

“My name is Elaine,” and then I woke up. I lay still, frightened. 

I was hundred per cent sure that some supernatural being was in my room, on top of me. But that since no concrete evidence could be found, I couldn’t tell anyone about it. 

When the servant came in to tidy up my sheets, I told her to bring them all out to wash. I wanted to wash the unseen being away. Elaine was definitely from the evil side.

Chapter 18

Of course I complained to the blue man. I was fast in making complaint. The blue man had this to offer me: get a priest to bless your house. 

It seemed like a good idea except that I didn’t liked priests. It was just my own prejudice and a strong belief that sex played a major role in a man’s life – any man – and if you avoided it, it was like avoiding food and drinks. For those who have not had sexual experiences, how could they understand the temptations of the flesh, and be able to offer advice accordingly? 

And so I rejected the blue man on the spot. He didn’t seem to be offended. He merely told me, 

“Let me know if you change your mind,” 

“No, I don’t want anyone to take control over my house,” I gave him the reason. 

“He is not taking control over you or your house, he is just here to lend the presence of the Holy Spirit to ward off the evil spirit,” the blue man said. 

“How did she come in?” I followed after him. 

“I think she followed you home from outside,” the blue man said. 

Lying in bed that night I cracked my head over the spot where I last saw Elaine. Where could she have followed me from? Could Elaine have been the lady with the umbrella and followed me back from the gardens? Yes, I went for a walk in the gardens two days ago. And as it was raining I took shelter with the lady who had an umbrella. I did not ask her for her name before I dropped her and rushed back into the sheltered walkway … 

Chapter 19

I began to look forward to the walks in the gardens. The garden was not too far away. Just two blocks and you could see several rows of multi-coloured flowers. I told myself not to bring an umbrella so that I could borrow from the lady. 

When you can’t remember anything at all you really couldn’t remember anything at all. I walked around the garden, from the sheltered walkway to the pavilion. I sat down and I got up. The woman did not appear with her umbrella. But of course, it wasn’t raining! 

I saw several people alone by themselves. I had an urge to go up and talk to them but I had no decent topic to offer for conversation. The only way I could probably start was: hi the weather looks fine today.

And then I looked at my watch. It was almost 12:00 p.m. Time for lunch. I hurried back to my house and true enough the blue man was waiting for me. 

“Where have you been?” I was surprised he asked. 

 “Just out for a walk,” I wasn’t going to tell him about the woman with the umbrella. Especially since I had met with no one. 

“You have any siblings?” He asked. 

“No, why?” 

“Someone was here to see you today,” the blue man said. 

“A lady by the name of Ruth, she said she was your sister,” he continued. 

I remembered I was an orphan. I had no sister. 

Chapter 20

My parents left me at a convent when I was very young. According to the sisters, they were supposed to come back for me. Money for lodging with them was paid regularly until one day when the money just stopped coming in. 

I started getting less food on my plate, and I was not given a new set of clothes to change into for the new year. I couldn’t account for the reason as I was very young and didn’t know the intricacies of the adult world. 

Two persons, a man and a woman, used to come to visit me at regular intervals. Only when they stopped coming then I was told that they were my parents. I had no idea. 

So who could this Ruth be? 

If they said that Ruth was my sister, then so be it. I have no problems with that. For after all if I could accept the notion that two strangers were in fact my parents, then I should similarly be able to accept the notion that Ruth was my sister. The only question was, what could Ruth want from me? I was poor I had no money to offer her. 

Hey, wait! Who had been paying for my expenses here all the while? I remembered that I paid my own utilities bill, my own telco bill, and I had my own letterbox. And …. what happened to my emails? Yeah, WHERE WAS MY LAPTOP? 

Chapter 21

I remembered that the Mac was on the right side of my bed, propped up on a side table, the side table I rolled it to one side when I went to bed. I distinctly remembered that I logged it off last night before I went to bed and didn’t touch it until I woke up this morning. But then I could not find it now. Where was it? I looked right and left, up and down, even at the ceiling – there was a fan hanging there – and finally I landed myself on the bed under the sheets. No, it was not there! 

No use looking. I have lost my Mac forever. If it were around it should have been here, right under my nose. I decided that I must lodge a report with the blue man right away. I walked out of my room, went to the counter and spoke with one of the staff. I saw a man putting some pills in a box, and I saw Rosalind counting the pills on a tray. They were busy! 

“Err, excuse me, I lost my Mac …” I started tentatively, a little timid. They continued with their activity, as though they didn’t hear me. Frustrated, I walked away, back into my own room. And then I realized that my house wasn’t my house. For otherwise, why would the entire place be flooded with so many people? And then, apart from my Mac, where was my doll? I had her on my chair all the while. Oh yeah, the fabric of this chair in my room was different! This time it was a blue material, mine was a beige all the while. 

I was shocked beyond comprehension. My world has been turned upside down. This world was a new world. And where was my old world? My old world consisted of the doll. Who can help me find it? Yup, the blue man. He was always around. He was the solution to everything … 

I took my steps one at a time. When I reached the door I looked up, and there I saw 103. What 103? Was this a room number? I remembered my house number was 49. Why 103 now? I began to panic. I was not living in my own house! 

I started walking backwards, one step at a time, without looking back, and as I reached the wall. I stopped. I sat down on the floor and I looked at my feet. No shoes! Oh yes, I came out barefooted. I never used to wear slippers in my house anyway … 

“What are you doing here?” a voice said, rather stern. I stood still. 

It was the blue man. Today he was in a white shirt. I have begun to recognize his face now. And I could see his name tag: Dr Tan Yee Chong, Harry. 

“Oh, nothing,” I said. He has this therapeutic effect on me. 

Chapter 22

Tonight I saw her again. Since she said that she was Elaine, so be it. Ok, I saw Elaine. This time she didn’t put her hands on my neck. She sat on the blue chair. In fact, I had difficulty finding her, as when I stood up and walked to the chair to look for my bear she had disappeared by the time I reached the chair. 

Stumbled on nothing. I stood in the dark, wondering where the switch was. I gave myself sometime, and then I remembered where the standing lamp was. Slowly I walked towards the lamp … ouch! I tripped over something on the floor. Hey, it was a car! Why was the car there?! 

Oh but it was only a toy car. I chuckled at the thought. And then I decided to go back to sleep. “Tomorrow night she will look for me again,” I told myself as I flopped onto the bed. The bed was welcoming and I crawled back into the sheets which had been ruffled just earlier.

Chapter 23

I never saw Elaine in my room again. On the contrary I saw the lady in the garden again. She was wearing a hat, and she was reading a book when I saw her at the bench. This time she didn’t carry an umbrella with her. 

I knew that I couldn’t talk to her anymore. She was Elaine. And Elaine was from beyond. 

In life there was a limitation to events. Time was a commodity we borrowed from God. We repay Him by being kind, by being patient, by giving love to those around us. We lived in this world, we did not exist alone. We might seem alone, but God was watching us, always, visible or invisible. 

I tried to look for Elaine again when I saw the same umbrella at the entrance to room number 104. Upon enquiry I found out that the umbrella belonged to an “Elaine” and that the room was vacated abruptly last night. 

I tried again.

And then I stopped trying. 

I never knew that that was the last time I was given a chance to talk to Elaine. And I couldn’t remember what we said to each other. God had conveniently erased it from my memory. But I couldn’t say that I missed Elaine now, all I remembered was that she had decided to leave. 

If she were a human she had decided to leave. 

If she were from beyond she was reborn. 

Death was a path to which we walked alone. They said that two angels will accompany us to heaven when the time came. I walked up and I saw the door to the gardens and I pulled hard to open it. No one was on my left, no one was on my right. The other side that greeted me was a fountain. No longer the benches. 

I went up to the fountain and was moved to cup some of the water in my palms. I drank it and felt rejuvenated. Again, I wished that I need not have to die. Again, I realized that there was no heaven. 

I came, I saw, I conquered. Fear was what I needed to conquer. Fear was what made me come. 

I meant, I was back on earth again. If you still feared death, then you could never enter heaven. 

I still have to die. Perhaps another day.

You could see the reflection of the building … inside … where I made all confessions ….

They say that when you have murdered someone, only you and the deceased knew that you have killed him. 

No one else knows. 

Chapter 1

No one can say with any amount of certainty that you put an end to his life. Not the police who subsequently surveyed the scene, not the inspector-in-charge, not the coroner, and certainly not the victim’s family. 

I knew that I had been dead before. 

Norman didn’t wake me up before he went to school this morning. 

It wasn’t unusual, as he didn’t normally wake me up. 

What was unusual was the fact that he left a cup of coffee for me at the dining table, together with some food. I won’t call it breakfast, for it was not cereal or cornflakes or anything like that, it was not toast and not butter. I took a look at it, and decided straight away that I was not going to touch it. And then I would just leave it in the dustbin outside until just before Norman was due to come home this evening. 

After the coffee, I felt a little queasy and I decided to wait thirty minutes before I got up again. 

If the meat was not thawed by then I could defrost it again. I told myself. They say that the bacteria multiply in the meat if you reheat it too often. Frankly I didn’t really care. I never thought that I would die of food poisoning. Heart attack maybe. 

I knew that I have no good reason to be here.

I was only a student. Once I finished my course I would have to go home. I have a ticket bound for Christmas Island where I came from. When I applied for my visa I had to produce a two-way ticket. 

My family knew that I was here. But no one else did. Not my classmates nor my relatives, in general the people that I knew before did not know that I was here. Since I came here, I have stopped talking to them. 

There was no reason to. They were too far away. 

Chapter 2

Dinner was cooked. Dinner was served. Norman and I ate it. But Kenny and Shaun preferred to have their own cooking. They did mash potatoes and fish fillet and I did steak and broccoli. 

Chapter 3

I find that the more often you confessed your sins to your priest the more sins you have. It’s like digging up your past. You could go up to the day you were born, or even the time before you were born. But that would require a very good imagination. It’s like telling a story, after a while you have many things to say, and you just talk rubbish. The priest who hears just listens and nods in agreement, for it is his duty to pardon. 

I could remember the day very well. 

I could remember the people who were there when it happened. I couldn’t blame them but that since they created the environment by being present, I would find them culpable. 

Chapter 4

The house was quiet, at least until 5:30 p.m. when either one of the three of them Kenny or Shaun returned from school. And then Norman usually came back by 4:00 p.m. Shaun was usually coming back early before 3:00 p.m. I could recognise the way in which he opened and shut the door. 

Shaun came in through the living room door, as it was always open, we shut it only at night when we have declared it to be time for bed. Once he was in, he headed straight to his own room, opened the locked door with a loud jerk, the door slammed against the wall, and he shut it again. 

Then I knew that it was time for me to prepare dinner. I forced myself out of bed, walked to the kitchen, and opened the fire on the stove. With some reluctance the fire ignited. I watched the flame moving slowly and I made it a little larger. 

But actually I shouldn’t have done this first. I should have taken the meat out from the freezer. So I opened the compartment and took one chunk out. It was hard and I ran some tap water over it. 

“Maybe I should turn on some hot water,” I told myself. 

Then I remembered that I have a microwave oven. The appliance could do the trick. I saw the time – 01:34 – this always annoyed me. I hated inaccurate reporting. “It is completely misleading,” I cursed under my breath and I decided to adjust the time. The date was 16 May 1983. 

I walked away to look at the radio, it was 3:47 p.m., and then back to the microwave. I took my time to reset the hour. Once the time was current I set the microwave to thaw. I usually tried 30 minutes first so that if the meat was not soft by then I could defrost it again.

Chapter 5

Once Norman came back the place came alive again. Invariably he would switch on the television and decided on the channel. 

I stayed on the sofa, unable to move, waiting for Norman to inject some life into me. But Norman was still talking on the phone. I could only hear his side of the conversation. 

“So he is ok?” “Did he need to stay overnight at the hospital?” “Give me a call tomorrow morning once he wakes up,” and he ended the conversation. 

“Ah John our neighbour is in the hospital for SARS,” Norman said. 

“What is SARS? You mean the Hong Kong passport?” I asked. 

“No, not the Special Administrative Region thing, I am referring to some bacteria by the name of SARS,” he corrected me. 

“Oh, which hospital was it?” I asked. 

And then I decided that it was best to concentrate on the script in the movie, in case Norman should ask me. He has the habit of asking me in the middle of the show what happened in the story. 

Overtime, I had decided that Daniel in “Falcon Crest” was far more important to me than the neighbour in Christmas Island who seemed to be in the ward at the Alex Johnson Hospital now. 

When I woke up in the morning, I often had this feeling that I was drugged. It couldn’t be the food that I ate the night before. It was just fish and chips, and there was no wine either. I just couldn’t understand why I could not get up. Maybe it was the air-conditioning, or maybe I did not open the window. 

I told myself that I would drink some coffee tonight, so that the after effect of coffee would carry me through to the next day when I was supposed to wake up. 

“Why are you drinking coffee at this time of the day?” Norman asked. 

Why was he watching me? I became a little annoyed. And then three minutes later I made a cup of decaffeinated coffee which defeated the purpose entirely. 

“Why drink decaf?” again Norman asked. I hated his inquisitiveness. He was not supposed to ask so many questions, it was none of his business.

Chapter 6

I had a class today. The class started at 2:00 p.m. but I was there at 2:30 p.m. I took thirty minutes from the class. Usually I was early. But I knew that I had class today. The teacher was always very keen to teach me, as though imparting knowledge to me her mission would be accomplished. I knew why. I was the only one in the class who knew Chinese. The other students were non-Chinese and they could not read and write the Kanji in Japanese so easily. Kanji is the Chinese character equivalent in Japanese, but the same meaning in different pronunciations. 

Yoko-sensei saw that I was a good student. 

I knew that I was stuck. I meant, there was nothing else for me to do here but to study Japanese. Norman was here. I got the special student pass by virtue of the fact that I was married to Norman. Before I left Christmas Island I told New Zealand that I was married to Norman. I managed to produce a wedding certificate without the ceremony. 

You could say that the marriage was a sham. We haven’t told anyone about it yet. Not before we left, not since we left. I used the piece of paper to make my name change in my passport, so that I could rightfully be called Mrs. Foo. But that it was not allowed. The name included my maiden name. I became Monica Foo nee Li Swee Tin.

I wanted to establish that I have a legitimate purpose in the country. I have never been abroad before. 

New Zealand is far. It is far away from anywhere in the world. They have more sheep than people and land is in abundance so that they never need to depend on anybody. 

Our relationship was strange as it bothered on the fringe of matrimony, as no one could say with any amount of certainty if I were married. Yoko-sensei had to drum into me: watashi kekkon shite-imasu. I liked to say watashi kekkon imashita. She somewhat knew that Norman was not actually my husband. But she could never know what went on in the room upstairs between Norman and I. 

In fact, I thought that Kenny was so upset by the absence of sex that one day he started throwing raw meat into our trolley whilst we were at the supermarket. I didn’t know if I guessed correctly that this was some kind of innuendo from him, as there was no way in which he could know that Norman and I have not consummated our marriage. 

We have not had sex. But everywhere I went I told people that I was Mrs Foo –Norman’s wife. Norman did not object to it. All the while I was wondering when he was going to propose to me. The wedding ring that Norman and I bought haphazardly at a small jewel shop stared at us, and at everyone else. 

Chapter 7

In this town there was a chapel nearby. It was small and the same faces appeared. Every time I was there they ignored me completely. But actually they were supposed to ignore me. 

At the entrance to the sanctuary, there was a notice, prominently displayed, meant for anyone who had any confessions to make. I passed by the notice every time I went in to the sanctuary. It stared at me, like someone had decided to tell me that I should talk to a priest and tell him about myself. 

I have nothing to tell you, I told the writer of the note, except that I would want to wake up early. The days passes me by and I had nothing specific to do each day. I told the note. All I wanted was to wake up early. 

Chapter 8

Today I decided to go in and see what it was all about. There was a small room and few chairs were arranged neatly in two rows. A lady was sitting there and she looked at me ready to smile. I felt the need to make some conversation. 

“Do you come here often?” I asked. 

“Good heavens no, one doesn’t have so many sins to confess,” she looked appalled. 

“Do you worship regularly?” she asked. 

“No, as a matter of fact, this is the first time I am here,” I replied, whereupon I added, 

“I don’t feel God is talking to me.” 

“He is there! Just that you don’t see him,” lady said to me. 

I felt the lady making fun of me so I took my Bible out of my bag and flipping at it pretending to be reading at the pages. 

“We have a Bible Study reading every Friday night, 7:00 – 9:00 p.m.” the lady ventured. I was not too keen on this for I wanted to be left alone, but 7:00 p.m. in the evening is ok for me, I would have been awoken by then. 

So I said, “maybe I will come.” 

Chapter 9

We go to Cob and Co. for dinner every night. The food is Asian as it is not as bland as most Western food. We like it there but they are slow. The waitress greets us, she brings us to a table, then she puts us there. Immediately she walks away. You can’t find her, she disappears into the kitchen and is nowhere to be found. We sit there like some lost kids and is at the mercy of the waitress. We waive our hands but no one takes any notice of us. We sit and wait for our food. 

Today Yoko-sensei told me that I seemed to be worried about something all the time. She asked me if I missed my family back home in Christmas Island. And she started speaking to me in Japanese which I did not understand. 

When I went home, I started reading the Bible. 

The Bible says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled, do not be afraid, …” and then I fell asleep on the bed. Norman was still watching ghost movie with Kenny and Shaun. 

Chapter 10

Since the Bible says so, and the Bible is the Word of God, what the Book tells me must be true. 

I decided to see the priest who presided at this church. He would be a good person to talk to. 

I made an appointment with the priest for confessions at the chapel. It was easy as all you need to do is write the preferred time on the guest book. 

“I have evidence of murder.” I finally got the courage to tell Father James Crawley when I saw him on Friday.

“You saw him put the knife in her throat,” Father looked at me, appalled.

I realised that I had said something dangerous.

“It was a recent film that I saw and a fragment of my imagination.” I quickly threw the sentence at him before leaving.

Chapter 11

Today I found an interesting article on my email. It was sent by somebody from India: 

The laws of Reincarnation state that there are certain things in your past lives, both good and bad (known as Karma), that may be “erased” or, on the contrary, “activated”, thus affecting your present life to a considerable extent.

I can’t remember the author of the note. I cut it out and put it in my Bible. 

When Norman came in after watching the ghost movie, he told me to pray for Ah John’s recovery. 

“Are you sure that he wants to carry on?” I asked casually. 

“It could be that secretly he wanted to die,” I said. 

“And it could just be that he was asking God for permission to end his life, one never knows these things,” Norman agreed with me at once. 

“But it is our duty as Christians to pray for sick people,” Norman corrected me. 

“Amen.” That was all that I could mutter. 

I didn’t know any other words of prayer. I still believed in Buddhism, even though I ate meat. 

Chapter 12

This afternoon I rushed to see Father Crawley immediately after Yoko-sensei’s class. Surprisingly Father was there waiting for me. 

“Do you get bad dreams?” He asked. 

“Not at all, I sleep through,” I said. 

“I am not surprised, since you take sleeping pills,” 

“No, I don’t,” I said. 

“But I do take those white tablets … and they are contraceptive pills.” Thus emphasising my marital status. 

Who told him I took sleeping pills? 

“I really want to wake up early,” I declared again. 

“It is up to you, why don’t you set the alarm?” 

“I do set the alarm,” I began to get a little frustrated. 

“Listen, unable-to-wake-up is not a sin that we, as spiritual leaders, know how to deal with. Perhaps you should seek medical help.” Father Crawley gave me an alternative. 

And then he continued with our old thread and asked, “were there any blood stains? 

“Why? No,” I proclaimed. 

“Then, were you there?” he asked. 

“No, I wasn’t,” I had to confess. 

It suddenly dawned on me that a witness to a murder, or any other type of crime, must be present at the scene. 

“Then how did you know that a murder took place? Assuming that you knew.” Father Crawley looked at me intently, with a piercing voice. 

“In any story, you must decide if you are the victim or the villain.” Father gave me another piece of advice. 

I couldn’t answer the question on why I was dead and then now I was still alive. 

“I am not whom you think I am,” I said, emphasising. 

I knew that I was Victoria, the wife of the President of Christmas Island. But that Father Crawley didn’t know about this, and I was not about to tell him. It was a state secret, it still was. No one knew about this. No one knew who I was, except that I was Mrs. Foo – Norman’s wife. And then I allowed Father to decide if he wanted to pursue the thread. 

Father told me the number of decades I should pray and what to say for penance. A decade is ten beads of the of Rosary consisting of fifty beads. 

I walked out of the cubicle, and noticed that the lady that was in the waiting area was no longer there. I took my time to walk back to the apartment. I knew that I will be having steak for dinner again tonight. I had already brought the meat out and put it in the basin, as I walked past the mall, I saw that the shop at the corner selling winter clothes was still having the same items on display. I wanted to go in and ask for the price except that I might feel obliged to pay for it later on, so I stopped at the window and admired it for a while before deciding against it. 

Shaun was already in when I arrived at the flat and I was surprised that he was early today. The door to his room was closed. If he wasn’t back, he would leave the door open. The radio in the living room was on, news of the new American leader making another surprise move was announced. We were too far away to be affected by him, and I haven’t decided if I wanted to go back to Christmas Island after my course. A two-way ticket did not mean that I could not later on secure a job in the country and change my mind. 

Chapter 13

“It’s good to believe in God.” The lady at our regular meeting place told me. By regular meeting place I meant the waiting area outside the confession room. 

“And all murderers must be punished,” I replied. 

“They usually are, no one gets away with murder,” the lady continued, as though stating that it was going to rain tomorrow. I wanted to tell her that I knew of someone who was off the hook – the one who murdered me. But that she did not know that I was Victoria. Victoria was dead. Victoria Li was Bill’s wife. Bill Young was the President of Christmas Island. Christmas Island is a country in the South Pacific. 

Victoria died of a heart attack, just after she had given birth to a half-Indian boy. Nobody could explain how two Chinese persons could produce an Indian baby. Both Bill and Angelina swore on the Bible that neither he nor his late wife Victoria had committed adultery. The newspapers were hiding the information, with only one short paragraph released about the death. And even then it wasn’t clear if Victoria had died of heart attack or suicide. There was even a mild suspicion that Bill Young killed her. Angelina Leong is the second wife of Bill Young. 

Chapter 14

I went in to do my next round of confession. 

“I can’t wake up again,” I said. 

“Is there any way you could help me get up?” I looked at Father James Crawley, helpless. 

“Even Norman could not wake me up in the morning.” I lamented. 

“Why can’t you wake up?” Father asked. Whenever I woke up in the mornings I felt like I was being drugged. 

“Could it be the food that you ate at dinner?” Father asked. 

“You must remember to give thanks to the Lord before you partake the of your meal,” Father Crawley told me.

“It is only right,” he said, and he continued, 

“since all good things come from Heaven,” 

“I often forget,” I had to confess. 

“But I am sure that doesn’t account for my being drugged,” 

I was thinking of what happened eighteen months ago. I haven’t told Father Crawley that I was Victoria yet.I am a deceased Victoria and I am posted to heaven.

I arrived at home, the steak waiting for me. I sprayed a layer of soy sauce and rubbed some pepper in, making the meat more succulent. For sure I was not a Buddhist. Buddhists don’t eat meat. But I believed in their theory of reincarnation. I was yet to decide if I was going to cross over to become a Buddhist, if Father Crawley couldn’t help me wake up in the morning.

Chapter 15

This morning after I woke up I felt compelled to see Father Crawley again. 

Father James Crawley knew who Victoria was and I thought that he could help me. I didn’t want to get in touch with Bill Young and Angelina as I didn’t think that they would welcome me. The minute they saw me they would lock me up and put me away for good. So therefore I was very sure that Bill Young killed Victoria, since I was the Victoria that he killed. I woke up after Victoria died. And only I knew that I was Victoria, no one else did. Surely I knew how I passed. 

It had been eighteen months. I left Christmas Island and arrived at New Zealand after Victoria died. I didn’t know why I did that. It was clever to run away from the killer to another country. For if he didn’t succeed in destroying you the first time he would want to do so again. He had to silence you. So why was I here? 

I was not sure if Bill Young knew that I was still alive. 

But every dead person woke up in another’s body. It is fact.

So I kept quiet and I merely told Father that there was this frock I wanted to buy. 

“What made you not buy it?” Father asked. 

Before I could answer, Father continued, “A desire for some material things is a simple want, I doubt that we can call it a sin. It is not like your covert the flowers in your neighbour’s garden and you climbed over to pluck it.” 

I listened, and then I knew that he didn’t know who I was.One day I will tell him. And then that would expose Bill Young.

Bill Young would be formally charged and then he would have to be sentenced. But then how would it benefit me? I thought about it seriously and then decided it best not to talk about it. Father discharged me today without making me do penance and I was extremely pleased. 

Chapter 16

Norman told me to clean his car today. That was a difficult job as I didn’t know how to extend the hose from the tap to the garden. 

I was always on the inside looking out, as I was driven around most of the time. Norman always drove and I let the three of them watch horror movies on television whilst I picked up my knitting. I had to make my own outfit since the shops were slow in producing new ones. 

I got up from bed this morning and I made coffee straight away. At this moment I was still Victoria. I was dead. I knew that I was a corpse. A living person didn’t feel this way. If you were alive, you could wake up in the morning. You didn’t feel drugged. 

Norman didn’t know this. He thought that I was Monica Li his fake wife all the time. As I said, only I knew that I was Victoria Young. But as far as Bill was concerned, his first wife Victoria was dead and now he was into his second marriage. I was envious of his second wife. It could have been me. It was me! 

I decided to go and make another confession with Father James Crawley. He understood me most. He had been with me since I came to New Zealand. He knew the ins and outs and all the goings-on here. Maybe he could help me. 

“Child, what do you want?” Father Crawley has decided to adopt me. 

He called me child! “Father, what do you do when you are confronted with the truth?” I started. 

“Do you carry them to the grave with you?” I asked. 

“I am afraid so. It is a heavy burden,” he sighed. 

“…. and sometimes it is better not to know the truth.” I followed the lines. 

“You have something to tell me? Father asked. 

“Err,” I stammered a little. 

“No, but then if you think that I need to know then tell me. I am here to listen to your woes.” he lowered his voice, 

“Listen, I too know that he killed her.” Father repeated what I said, or rather what I wanted him to say. 

Which meant that Father Crawley decided to collaborate with me. 

“I am Victoria,” I began. 

“If that is the case, who is Monica?” Father asked. “Monica is me too.” I continued. 

“So do you know when you are Victoria and when you are Monica?” Father asked. 

“Yes, you can say that.” And then I asked Father for some coffee as he went to the pantry and poured me a cup. I liked his mug, it has a black cat on it. 

I liked Father James Crawley’s coffee. His coffee has a special flavour which made it fragrant. I always made sure that I finished the cup before I left him. 

“Sometimes it was best to forget about the past,” watching me sip the coffee, Father said. 

“I knew some people who made themselves drunk simply because they couldn’t stop thinking about their enemies.” 

“They could take sleeping pills, I suppose.” I said. 

Chapter 17

Confessions with Father James Crawley became a habit by now. I went to the chapel automatically on days when I did not have a class, and strange things was, that Father was always available. In the beginning it was limited to the hours displayed on the notice. 

“Were there any blood stains?” Father opened topic. 

“Why? No.” I replied. 

And then, “how could that be?”

“Did you see your own body lying on the bed after you stopped breathing?” 

“Yes, I remembered that I was sitting just outside the room, and then I was telling myself: Victoria, if you want to wake up, you have to go back to your body, but I was too tired to walk down the steps, and then that was the time I heard a click. 

“What kind of clothes were you wearing?” Father tried to help me recall my memory. I thought he was trying to ascertain if I were wearing hospital clothes to establish the scene where I said I died. 

The truth was getting closer.

Chapter 18

A dangerous liaison occurred when a man was sleeping with a woman and one of them was married. There was a cloud of mystery in the whole situation, we didn’t know for sure if the affair took place, as it was usually done in secret hidden behind some hotel doors. But when an ordained man was having a special relationship with his ward – the person whom he was counselling – then what was their relationship? 

And if they are so attracted to each other, why couldn’t God make an exception? Surely rules can be broken. Priest in principle are not supposed to marry but long term relationship without marriage? One where he sleeps with the woman without publicly acknowledging her as his wife. He himself is unmarried, so how could he be committing an adultery? 

Having sex is like eating, drinking and skiing. You are just activating some part of your senses. Surely you couldn’t blame the parties for making a mistake. 

Monica, or Victoria as you might like to call her, was an extremely attractive woman. She has no failings except that she slept long hours. And it might also be true that she has never slept with Norman Foo. So that it was not totally inconceivable that Monica liked Father James Crawley. 

It could just be the very reason why Monica went for confessions so regularly. 

“You should move on and not continue to live in the past, wake up and live in the present, the future is there for you,” Father Crawley had this prepared when he was waiting for Monica today. 

He wrote the note and left it on his table. 

Chapter 19

As usual we began the session today. “Father, I know that Bill Young has forgotten about me. I mean, he didn’t know me at all. As far as he was concerned I was dead. He laid the last wreath on my coffin. I was asleep throughout.” 

“Nobody knew how I died. There were only the three of us in the hospital room – Bill, myself and Chandrasen. Chandrasen was a baby so he could not remember a thing. A baby in a cot. He would never have known that his father killed his mother.” 

“And how did he kill you?” Father Crawley asked me. 

“He turned off my life support ventilator.” I said plainly. 

“But then if you were dead, how could you have known?” 

Father looked me straight in the eye. “I am the one! He turned me off, of course I know.” I almost cried. 

“You mean to say that you knew which methods you were used to put to sleep?” 

“Why not?” I looked him in the eye. 

“You are crazy, my dear child,” Father concluded and gave me some more of the coffee. 

He sprinkled some substance into the beverage before he passed the cup to me.

I went home happily after the priest called me child again. I wanted to feel loved. I was alone in a country where no one else recognized me except Norman Foo. But I wasn’t afraid. I trusted Norman. Norman would never play me out. 

Chapter 20

“Was there any communication between you and the perpetrator after the killing took place?” 

“No, none whatsoever,” I had this to confess. 

“So you are telling me that Bill Young does not know who you were,”

“But why should he?” I asked. 

“Oh yes, I forget. You, as Victoria, woke up in Monica’s body some miles away.” 

“You got it, Father!” I was elated. 

“What happened on the night when you said something strange happened to you?” Father James Crawley became interested in my story. 

“On that fateful night, I suddenly decided to turn on all the switches in the house, I started with the bedroom, the living, the study then the dinning, the toilet, I went in search of all the lights, including the table lamps and the wall lights. Who gave me the idea I didn’t know. Maybe I was dreaming of a wedding party for myself where I imagined guests joining me. I just wanted all the lights on, it wasn’t Christmas or anything, or that I was expecting guests in the house …” 

“… and then I heard my dad’s voice, I did not hear the car driving into the porch. My mother was with him. They were shocked when they came in and they asked me repeatedly what happened. I couldn’t open my mouth and talked, like I was dumb.”

“So that you came to the illogical conclusion that someone else has turned off a life support ventilator elsewhere in another house, is that it, Monica?” 

“Yes, however, I realised that there were perhaps three other million switches out there being turned off at the same time. So I couldn’t say for sure that it was Victoria’s life support system that was being turned off.” I could use logic now. 

Father James Crawley suddenly took my hand, and then he held it and warned me severely, “You know you can’t report this to the police.” 

“Yes, I know. It’s not like I was hit by a car, got up and walked away subsequently. I died. A dead person cannot walk, sleep or eat, neither can he talk.” Monica said. 

“And a dead person cannot usually remember what happened to him before he died.” Father Crawley supplied me with the next statement. 

So I carried on, “And even if I did, my identification documents showed that I was Monica Foo nee Li Swee Tin and not Victoria Young.” 

“You are finally sane,” Father finally concluded. 

I picked up my bag and walked out of the cubicle. Disappointed that Father Crawley did not make any further move since he held my hand the other day. And then as I passed the mall, I walked to the cosmetic section and bought myself a lipstick.

Chapter 21

“If he killed you, assuming that he did, would you like me to send someone to assassinate him?” Father James Crawley asked me today. 

“Is it possible?” I looked at Father, my eyes rolled big. 

“Nothing is impossible if you prayed hard enough,” Father Crawley said. 

“You could write a petition and place the note in one of the boxes in the chapel,” Father advised me. 

Thoroughly bored with my time, I decided to give it a try. 

I am not here just to cook steak and broccoli. 

At night, after Norman, Kenny and Shaun has eaten, I went up to the study room and quietly took out a piece of paper and penned my thoughts: Dear God, please teach me how to let Father James Crawley know that I am sexually interested in him, and then I continued, I want to marry Mr. James Crawley if possible.

I appeared at the chapel and placed my note in the little box located outside the confession room the very next day. And then for the next three days. The note the next day I wrote: If Mr. James Crawley does not want to marry me, God please give me the courage to tell him that I love him by bringing him out for dinner.

No one was there in person to receive my note, but I knew that it was read. 

On the third day, after I had come back from the chapel having sent the petition note, I received an anonymous call. I picked it up, 

“Are you Monica Foo?” the voice on the other end said. 

“Yes, I am,” I was happy to reply. 

“You are invited to a cocktail at the Huntington Park this weekend, it is our open house,” a woman said on the phone. I immediately knew that she was going to rescue me from cooking steak and broccoli at night. 

“When is the date?” 

“8 July, it is a Saturday” 

“So it’s confirmed,” I wrote the date on a piece of paper and then I slipped it inside one of the pages in my Bible. 

Chapter 22

July the eighth came. I put on the piece of knit wear that I had completed just the day before, and the lipstick that I bought at the mall the other day. It was a new colour bought on the spur of the moment, inspired by the feelings I had for Father for what he said the day. 

I waited for Father James Crawley at the lobby of the hotel. He saw me and he quickly ushered me to the restaurant. The girl at the reception seemed to be expecting us but nonetheless she asked him, 

“May I know which name the table is booked under?” 

“Mr. James Crawley,” as Father was speaking he held my hand. 

“I thought you were Father,” I said teasing the man. 

“Priests are also human beings,” he replied firmly. 

I immediately concluded that he must have read my note, for otherwise he won’t have called himself a Mr. and then I quickly excused myself and said that I was going to the toilet. 

“Where is the ladies?” I asked the girl. 

“At the end of the corridor to your left,” she gave clear instructions. 

Three minutes later I was back. 

Chapter 23

“What food did you order?” I was famished. 

“Steak and broccoli,” James Crawley replied. 

By now I couldn’t decide if he were Father. or Mr. It was safer to err on the side of caution. 

“I cook this at home too,” I said. 

“You know Norman, my husband?” I offered his name. 

I always used it to protect myself whenever I wanted to not sleep with a man. James Crawley looked awful tonight. Maybe it was the lighting, or maybe because he was in ordinary clothes. Usually he wore a white robe with a sash over his neck. 

And then he began telling me a story. There was some uncertainty about the way he spoke, he never looked me in the eye for any length of time, and he would stop himself suddenly in the middle of the sentence to pour some red wine into his glass to quench himself. I watched and listened. When he offered me some red wine as well I decided to accept it even though it was not my favourite drink. 

I felt a sense of relief, almost exhilarated, after having heard James Crawley. It was definitely not a confession, just some facts that came out from a man who had a very sad past. I almost wanted to sleep with him the very night but for the fact that he refrained. At the end of the dinner, he took out his wallet and handed the waitress a three-hundred-dollar bill. I was surprised that he paid cash. And then I asked, 

“Mr. James Crawley, do you always remember what I said during confession?” 

“Yes, I always prayed for you, my dear.” James Crawley responded, as though tapping a note on the piano key. 

“Thank you so much,” I was happy and then I waited for him to walk me out of the restaurant, past the lift and I knew that he wasn’t going to sleep with me. Not tonight, but perhaps tomorrow. 

Chapter 24

Norman woke me up before he went to class this morning, “You should know that a particular situation has happened, and that you no longer need to pray for a particular person,” I was taken aback, then I asked, “Ah John …. ” Norman quickly said, “he has passed away,” and then he continued to say, “last night, at about 10:00 p.m. local time.” There and then I realised that the bottle of red wine Father Crawley and I took last night could actually be interpreted as some sort of celebration in Ah John’s passing from this secular world. Then where has he gone to? 😱 

As usual I rushed out of Yoko-sensei’s class once time out and I went to the chapel for the next round of confession. Having a heart-to-heart talk with Father James Crawley had become my daily habit, my highlight of the day. I wanted to break the news to him. I always chose different knit wears. I knit fast and I churned out more than one piece per month. “Daniel” on “Falcon Crest” was no longer my idol. Spiderman was also fading away. 

As Monica arrived at the chapel, she saw a note: 

Father James Crawley is on sabbatical leave and away until further notice. 

Which meant that he was away indefinitely. The dinner we had the night before was one of the most memorable evenings I ever had. I found my father. I found an honourable man – James Crawley. You are at liberty to call him “Father”, or simply “Mr. Crawley”. But to me he was always my counsellor my best listener. 

God, were you privy? 

I was, I am, and I will be.

My old abode ….

Chapter 1

Cher the cat 

I found that every time I used a path often enough, invariably some changes were made to it, like someone was marking my footsteps. 

I was no important person, just an ordinary citizen in this small city. The land area of this city was small. It was called the Lion City and became a republic more than fifty years ago, complete with its’ own aircrafts, warships, and all military preparations ready to fight a war, if its’ sovereignty was being challenged. 

You could say that I was paranoid. 

I lived here, as I was born within these borders. Like a fish that was used to tropical waters, or an orchid that was cultivated on this earth, I was unable to move. Not that I was unwilling to, but that I was used to the way things were, here. I liked the fact that things could be done very quickly here. 

Even the rain poured easily without warning. 

In this country, you turned on the tap, you expected water to come out. You tapped the switch, the bulbs would light up, and if you pressed the remote control, the television screen would come on. Everything worked, everyone worked. If it didn’t you call the serviceman, he would come ready with his tools in his little van within the hour. That was why I liked it here. This place was convenient. This was my home. 

But things have begun to change recently. 

You couldn’t say that I didn’t like the other people who lived here, as I rarely have anything much to do with them. Most of the time I was alone, as I liked to be doing things alone. I found that too many people doing the same things at the same time tended to make it worse. I have always been used to managing the fort by myself. 

You could call it a training. My master used to engage a large number of contractors to renovate the house where I used to live in, and the noise and hammering by the contractors the plumbers the carpenters coming in and going out altogether sank in as part of my mental makeup. I liked contractors, I was used to them. My master renovated his house without fail once a year at least so that having contractors at my home has become a part of my routine. 

My neighbour Trevor Tan was a man from China. I often saw him coming home whenever my mistress left her front door open. 

Chapter 2

Trevor the neighbour 

When Trevor came back this evening he found the neighbour’s entire house in darkness, all the lights were off. The door was left open and the television set was on. You couldn’t say that the house was in pitch darkness because some lights were emitting from the television screen. 

Trevor entered the flat, tip toed to the sofa, picked up the remote control under the table. And as he offed it, he realised that he had turned off all the lights at the same time since the only source of light came from the television. He turned on the television again. 

The news was unpleasant but that was not what he was concerned about. What he wanted to do was to find out where the neighbour Mrs. Song was. It was already 8:00 p.m., so that if she were in the kitchen the lights should be on indicating some form of activity. 

Then suddenly he saw Mrs. Song opening her bedroom door, and a man walking out at the same time. If he couldn’t understand Chinese no one would have been alarmed. But fact was that Trevor understood what she was saying – “see you again sometime,” to which the man replied, “if I don’t see you, that means that my wife is keeping taps on me.” 

By nature Trevor was a curious person, so he waited to see the response of Mrs. Song. She promptly sent the man out of the front door and then went back into the bedroom leaving Trevor in her house. 

All these happened as though Mrs. Song did not see Trevor. 

Trevor quickly retreated out of Mrs. Song’s house back into his home in case she came out to confront him. He had not realized that he had trespassed upon her property. The fact that she left her front door opened was an invitation to treat. 

At the same time Mrs. Song’s cat Cher slipped out of her flat and went into Trevor’s house. Cher’s movement was so quiet that neither one of them could have noticed it. 

Chapter 3

Trevor 

Tonight Trevor told himself that he was just going to relax. He bought a cheese burger from the Lunch Crowd Café and he made some tea for himself before he turned on the television. The news was not reassuring. The Supreme Leader of the North Korea Kim Jong En had decided to test his nuclear power once again. He has launched another one of his ICBMs. 

Most of which Trevor heard had gone into the sea. The rest was still unknown. When everyone seemed to be talking about world peace the man was flexing his muscle by pointing his nuclear power towards the sky which is altogether incomprehensible. I read that North Korea was a very different country from the rest of the world. The streets were quiet and no one talked bad about Leader Kim. In fact, no one talked. 

With a certain amount of disgust, Trevor turned off the television. He’d rather listen to some more cheerful news. Like the French election whereby the result did not affect him one way or the other. Whoever won, be it far-right or centre-right, it was still the right wing. And in any case they were going to leave the EU. The French currency was not the world currency like the U.S. dollar. Trevor allowed the noise from the television to occupy the audio space in the bedroom before he went in to take a shower. 

No one was with him at the time. Or so he thought. 

Cher was in. 

Chapter 4

Zubin the guard 

Robert Zubin knew that she was back. Once he was satisfied that Jacqueline was back at home he took another final round of the estate. He could see that the lights in her kitchen were on, and he noted the hour on his iPhone. The time was specific: 19:38. 

Tonight Zubin noticed that Jacqueline was wearing a ring on her finger. She looked visibly engrossed in some activity, and he noted that she had been late in returning three nights in a row. His was beginning to wonder if Jacqueline had found a boyfriend. 

Forty-five minutes later Zubin found himself back at the guard post. Zubin was one of the four guards at the estate. Making sure that Jacqueline was locked up at this estate was Zubin’s business. No one knew about this special task except Zubin himself, and Zubin told no one about it. Peter Ling his supervisor in charge of the small piece of property was stationed at another spot not so far away. 

Zubin’s attire was a light blue and navy pants. He always changed out of his uniform before he left the guard post. His wife Fatimah picked him up at 8:40 p.m. I said 8:40 and not eight-thirty because her timing was very precise. 

Once Zubin saw Fatimah he completely forgot about Jacqueline. 

“What have you cooked tonight?” Zubin asked. 

“Fish ball soup and Chap Chye.” Fatimah replied. 

The menu was boring, and so was Fatimah. 

Zubin knew that Fatimah would never leave him, so it was no use treating her badly. He was always civil to Fatimah even if Jacqueline were at the back of his mind. Like when he greeted Jacqueline he was actually speaking to Fatimah, or vice versa. He hoped to do a synchronisation by the end of this month, meaning to say that he wanted to make Jacqueline a cache of Fatimah.

Chapter 5

Fatimah, Zubin’s wife 

Zubin always felt that women were trouble makers, so that he hated and avoided any meaningful conversation with them. 

As far as Fatimah was concerned, so long as she has Zubin coming home for dinner every evening, things were ok between the two of them. She hasn’t slept with Zubin for as long as she could remember. Sex was not an activity which she looked forward to. Her account with Zubin was joint-alternate so that if he died, her means to a livelihood was not frozen. 

You could say that there was no reason why Zubin took upon watching Jacqueline as his extra duty. Nobody told him to monitor her, he just felt that a woman living on her own needed to be checked. Zubin didn’t know Jacqueline’s details, whether she was younger or older than he. 

Chapter 6

Trevor 

Again Trevor found the neighbour’s door open. He pretended that he was concerned about Mrs. Song’s property and her safety. Trevor was at least ninety per cent sure that Mrs. Song was an escort. But that he did not know how best to approach her. Fact that her front door was always open indicated that she was in the business. Ordinary women don’t leave their front doors open. 

He found a cat inside the house and he ignored it and sat on the sofa. The cat paid no attention to him and he wondered if he should look for Jacqueline in the other parts of the house. He waited and after fifteen minutes when no one else appeared he walked out of her apartment closing the front door behind him. 

No one knew where Jacqueline was at the time. Only Zubin knew that she was still outside the estate. 

Chapter 7

Zubin 

As Robert Zubin was making his final round at 7:15 p.m. this evening, he came across a fawn cat. The cat was perched at the bay window in one of the apartments. You could see it from the garden trail. It looked like a porcelain cat, unreal. Zubin observed the creature for some time and it didn’t move. 

He couldn’t determine if it were a real cat or just a figurine. He stood at the spot for ten minutes and still the creature was there. It was standing upright so that it could not have been asleep. Its eyes were a light blue, and it was staring right at Trevor. Trevor was almost certain that it was real. 

Zubin stood there for about ten minutes, and then he realized that it was silly to confront a feline. He immediately walked away from the spot and proceeded to go further down the path. And then he carried on his way to the other parts of the estate. The property housed two hundred and fifty-four units. 

For someone who has served in the police force before, this job at the estate was relatively simple. The residents were working class and Sleeping Alone Story by Lee Su Min 8 Zubin understood that most who lived here owned their units without a mortgage. 

Chapter 8

Trevor 

Trevor Tan took his midnight jog as usual. He liked to jog during this hour when there was no traffic on the roads and the streets relatively quiet. Trevor was working for a financial company called Marketing Basket and he usually came back before 8:00 p.m. every night. His father who lived at a bungalow not so far away was a multi-millionaire. 

Many people expected him to be working with his Dad and in fact Trevor did try, but was regarded as a spy for the directors so that no one in the office would talk to him, much less lunch with him. He was in this new office without anyone knowing about his background. 

Usually he dined alone. He has been used to this for a long time. After a heavy rain, the ground was soaking wet with his footprints on the mud as he passed. Trevor never looked back. When he jogged he ran as fast as he could. It was like he was racing against time. His Dad was looking forward to a grandchild from his younger brother, and once the baby arrived the old man was likely to leave the larger part of his estate to the younger Tan. 

Trevor has no close friends, neither did he have any enemies. He lived for himself and he was answerable only to his bank account. He managed his life so that he need never have to borrow from anyone. 

As he was jogging around the estate Trevor heard a meow. He continued with his path, but further down he heard another meow. It sounded like a baby crying. Trevor was unsure if it were a baby or actually something else. He went in to the bushes and there he saw a fawn creature. 

It was a cat! 

The cat was lying on the muddy ground and looking up at him. Its emerald eyes sparkled at him. Trevor could not help but pick it up. The fawn creature melt in his arms and Trevor was immediately mesmerised. He carried the cat all the way back to his flat, and then he placed her on his rug. 

The cat was happy and so was Trevor. He knew what he must do straight away. Immediately he went straight to the fridge to get some milk. He poured a sizable amount onto the plate and he placed it right in front of the cat. The feline lapped it up without as much as a wink. 

Trevor got a blanket and placed it on top of the cat and both of them fell asleep on the bed. The next day, Trevor felt someone scratching at his face, and he awoke instantly. He opened his eyes and he saw that it was Mimi. Trevor named her Mimi because all cats were called Mimi. 

In the morning the buzzer sounded and Trevor woke up suddenly and found that he was late. He jumped up from bed and promptly went for his shower. Ten minutes later he was all shaved and ready for work. Mimi stood by the railings of the bed and waited for him to leave the house. It was as though the cat had claimed territorial rights to his home in one night. 

Chapter 9

Zubin 

Robert Zubin said hello to Trevor as usual. He was keen on making sure that every resident in the estate knew that he was doing his job well. He remembered the face of each and every one so that he knew roughly whether they were at home during the day. 

The minute he took his round and saw that the lights in Jacqueline’s kitchen were off, he knew that everything was fine. It would seem that Zubin depended on Jacqueline too much. There was no reason why Jacqueline’s wellbeing equated with everyone else’s wellbeing. 

Once Trevor passed the side gate back into the estate, he was no longer Robert Zubin’s business. 

Chapter 10

Trevor 

Trevor took the bus. He did not own a car for the simple reason that he did not have a licence. The bus ride was half hour to forty-five minutes. He would read the news on his iPhone, so that before he arrived at the office he already knew what was happening on the other side of the globe. 

He never missed a chance to make money for his clients and they liked him a lot. However his relationship with them was confined to merely the emergency lunch. Meaning that they needed to either pull large sums of money out or inject lots of cash into the sector or equity of Trevor’s choice. 

Trevor’s terms to them was that they must abide by his judgment and that they were not to question him on why he made certain moves. 

Working in a financial company was like manoeuvring a boat at the foot of a waterfall and at times scary. But with Trevor’s business acumen it was usually plain sailing and always rewarding. He has more or less mastered the technique of reading the market forces of demand and supply. He played it like a game of chess and always made sure he got the queen before he went home.

Chapter 11

Zubin 

Robert Zubin used to think that animals such as cats and dogs were sub-humans and that those who kept them were low-class human beings. Maybe the fact has something to do with his religion. Muslims abhorred animals, dogs especially. Zubin couldn’t explain why. It was just like that. Like if you asked him why a bird could fly but that he couldn’t unless he booked a ticket on a plane. 

But after his encounter with Trevor his views somewhat changed. Zubin looked upon Trevor as the de facto manager of the entire estate. Trevor carried with him the look of success and a kind of composure which no one else could imitate. You could say that Zubin emulated Trevor, so that if the man approved of cats Zubin also would. 

Chapter 12

Jacqueline the lady 

As usual, when Jacqueline came home the first thing she did was to look for Cher. Cher was not at the bay window. Jacqueline searched the entire house including the storeroom. No Cher was there. 

Cher could be hiding under the bed! 

Jacqueline checked under her wooden bed as well. 

In the end she gave up. She was fond of Cher, but the feeling may not be reciprocated. After all Cher was just a cat, and what more could you expect from a feline?! 

Jacqueline had a picture of Cher perched on the carpet with her fat tail, taken just three weeks ago. But Jacqueline knew that she could not report the disappearance to the estate office. 

Jacqueline couldn’t remember where she met Zubin before. It could have been in the old office where she used to work. 

The Police were after Jacqueline which was the reason why she was lying siege in this house. This address here had no block number and no unit number, there was only a building name. And even then you call the blocks by the names of the flowers. No one knew the actual address. At most they knew the IP address of her computer when she turned it on. 

You could say that someone who was wanted by the Police has different traits from other ordinary citizens. They disliked having people walking behind them, even be it just for a short duration. 

Jacqueline could not say that Robert Zubin was stalking her. He was working here as a guard and he has every right to stand on the same grounds as she. It was just that she could see the flicker in his eyes whenever she greeted him, perhaps a sign of recognition, a hello from the past. 

Chapter 13

Trevor 

Mrs. Song has a nice smile and could only be described as being attractive. It did occur to Trevor that he could ask her out for dinner one night since she was living alone. The only thing that prevented him from doing so was the fact that she might also be married, even though it seemed from the other night that the Chinese man was one of her customers. 

Apart from that night he has never seen her with other men in the vicinity. Several times he was about to enquire if he was also in Singapore. But Trevor did not know that Mrs. Song also went by the Christian name Jacqueline. 

Jacqueline was married to Gordon Song in Singapore before he left for China. They have been separated for six years by now. In one year’s time at seven years if Jacqueline did not hear from Gordon he could be presumed dead. And then Jacqueline would be free to remarry. 

Jacqueline was used to living alone. Being able to sleep on a queen-size bed alone was to her a luxury. In contrast Cher was left to lie on the cold tiled floor to sleep. 

And Cher was only fed with water and dried cat food. 

Chapter 14

Jacqueline 

Jacqueline went to the kitchen to reheat the curry puff that she had bought from Old Chang Kee, kept in the fridge since the night before. She found that she was still hungry after the meal. There was no more food left in the fridge except for a few apples and some pears. The bread had already passed its’ expiry date. 

Whilst she was heating up the curry puff she heard the doorbell ring. She never had any visitor. 

It was the Police! 

Jacqueline hesitated, wondering if she should pretend that she was not at home. But then the security would have told them. She had greeted Zubin when she came in. With no choice she arrived at the front door and opened it, surprised to find that it was a man dressed in plain clothes. 

The man held out a parcel and produced an iPad for her to sign on. She saw the recipient’s name as Trevor Tan and she reluctantly accepted delivery. Jacqueline did not remember that she placed an order for any products but that she did not want to cause any fuss. 

Jacqueline, Mrs. Song had no idea that the man was just living next door. She concluded that the parcel must belong to the previous occupant of her unit. She moved in here about a year ago. 

The parcel felt like a hot potato on her hands. Jacqueline placed it at a corner where she would not be reminded of it. She was not about to look for the owner to return the parcel. 

Chapter 15

Trevor 

Trevor came out of the office and found that it was pouring. It has been raining steadily for the last three weeks and this wasn’t even autumn. 

He was beginning to feel that the rain was a deliberate attempt to foil his jogging efforts. 

When Trevor finally secured a taxi to pick him up he was considerably relieved. He grabbed one of the umbrellas and when the Grab car came he was relieved to find that it was a white Mercedes Benz. The car was almost brand new and he ordered the man to take his route. 

“No, I am just following the GPRS,” the driver declared. 

“But your wheel is tied to the map so that if you make the wrong turning, the map will only re-route, it does not give you the fastest and shortest route.” 

When he saw that the driver was unresponsive he became exasperated, 

“Listen, I am the passenger and I am in your car now, I can tell you how to go there, why don’t you just look out of your window and follow my directions?”

“Ok, then I don’t know. You just guide me,” the driver decided to discharge his duty there and then. 

As a result, Trevor could not read so that he missed out on some important news. His schedule was being disrupted today and he became very irritated. 

The moment he reached home Trevor rang the old man. This was just to remind him that his elder son was still around and to enquire if he had been promoted to an avuncular status. Not that he welcomed the fact. 

Chapter 16

Zubin 

Robert Zubin saw her red shoes and he knew that it was she at once. He pretended not to notice Jacqueline by not looking up, but fact was that he knew her too well. He knew her for a long time, longer than she would realise. 

A new signpost with the name of the estate engraved was erected. The signpost gave Jacqueline an idea of where she was in. In Jacqueline’s mind she was still living in a remote area the location only she knew. The entire estate was painted in one uniform colour. It was not easy to recognise which block you were in. 

One turning was no different from the other, so that if you missed the right turning you ended up walking round and round. 

An email came to Zubin via his supervisor this morning. The company which employed them wanted Zubin to work at another estate. This was bad news, as that would at once remove the link Zubin has with Jacqueline. 

The object was clear. Zubin didn’t know who was actually behind it. So far he has not made any enemies. No one knew that Zubin had met with Jacqueline before, not even Jacqueline herself. Apparently the other people in the estate had started to notice that Zubin watched over Jacqueline. 

Chapter 17

Jacqueline 

On the way home tonight Jacqueline found a police car waiting by the side. She was a little uneasy about it but Jacqueline had no idea where Gordon was so she could not warn him not to come. 

“Hello Zubin, what happened?” Jacqueline tried to find out. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Zubin replied. 

She had to ask him four times before he would supply her with the answer. She was sure that the authorities found Gordon again. 

“No, the car was here about an hour ago,” Zubin said. 

“Who are they looking for?’ Jacqueline asked. 

“Nothing, nothing, ma’am,” the man said. 

“Has someone ….” Zubin turned his head away, unwilling to offer further information. 

Jacqueline proceeded to walk in, once she ascertained that the matter did not concern her. If the Police came to look for her, it could mean that Gordon was in trouble overseas. And then she might need to give legitimacy to their marital status. 

Chapter 18

Jacqueline 

This morning the estate cleaner came and summoned Jacqueline to remove the potted plants at her corridor. 

“You have to remove them immediately,” the Indian lady ordered. 

“Why? It doesn’t obstruct anybody,” Jacqueline replied. 

“No, this is our house rules,” the woman refused to budge. 

And then she gave Jacqueline orders to do so at once. 

Jacqueline was exasperated beyond comprehension but still she kept her cool. The plants were getting sunlight at the corridor and very welcoming for they cheered her up considerably. Finally after some tussle Jacqueline relented. 

I must not create any attention. So that Jacqueline went back into her apartment and stayed in throughout the day. 

The net result was that Jacqueline forgot to buy cat food for Cher. Cher did not ate fish and milk. 

Chapter 19

Trevor 

As expected, the rain came when Trevor was just about to leave for the office. He decided to head for the gym on the fifteenth floor instead. The man who manned the centre did not look surprised when Trevor walked in, this time the third occasion in the same week. And today was not even Friday yet. He registered his name at the counter and walked straight ahead to the treadmill. 

After pressing a few buttons, the belt moved and the equipment started with a grunt. He walked as fast as he could and knew that it served no purpose as he was just walking on the same spot. Exercise which did not make you perspire did not expel the toxins in your body. 

The manager came up to Trevor and pointed him to the other equipment. It was as though he was waiting for Trevor to fail at the treadmill. 

“You should bring a towel the next time you come,” the man said. 

Trevor did not think it necessary to ask for the man’s name. They all looked the same – young, inexperienced. In any case, he might resign before I come in the next time. Trevor thought to himself. 

Frustrated by his own lack of fitness Trevor became angry. 

“Oh shits!” he said. 

“What is wrong?” the young man asked. 

Trevor grabbed a bottle of ice water from the fridge and rushed out of the gym. 

“Sir, you haven’t paid,” the manager shouted after him. 

Thank God the rain stopped when he arrived at the entrance below the gym. Trevor took a deep breath and started his evening stroll. 

Chapter 20

Zubin 

Police officers have a certain look – strict. They looked straight ahead and rarely moved their heads. Their walk was firm and their torsos upright. It was not incorrect to say that their duty was to uphold the law. Most of the time their eyes were fixed at a spot and you never knew what they were thinking of. But so long as they didn’t smile at you, you should consider yourself lucky. If they did that meant that you were the subject of their perusal. 

Zubin was in the police force before, so he knew what to expect. His former supervisor was the head of the Interpol and according to the top, the headquarters in Lyon in France, they were looking for Jacqueline’s lover.

Chapter 21

Jacqueline 

The train stopped working this morning so Jacqueline took a bus. A woman on the same bus got down after three stops. She had her son with her – Jacqueline assumed it to be her son. She wasn’t rude or anything like that to Jacqueline but for the fact that the woman noticed her cheap shoes and lousy bag. The general message seemed to be that she has a rich husband. Jacqueline could see that she was wearing a Chanel as the prominent double c was there – unless it was an imitation. 

They communicated with each other by thoughts with Jacqueline ended thinking – “yes unlike you, I don’t have a rich husband”. Jacqueline became impatient to be rid of Gordon Song. She was still attractive enough to engage someone and she remembered Trevor that day sitting on her sofa briefly. 

Jacqueline knew that she could not quarrel with anyone. If a scene was created on the bus the journey would have to be disrupted and then the Land Transport Authority would be involved. It would prevent Jacqueline from getting back in time for Cher’s meal. 

Cher needed her cat food. 

Chapter 22

Jacqueline 

Housebreaking did not always occur at night. Some thieves do break in by day. But of course the punishment was greater by day for the thief was showing to the law makers his blatant disregard – “committed under broad daylight.” The authorities had announced that there was a spat of housebreaking and it seemed that the total estimated losses amounted to over one million dollars. 

You guessed it right. Cher was gone. 

Jacqueline sat at her flat. 

She was completely lost. She could not report the loss of Cher. She knew no one at the estate whereby she could talk to. She was not close to any of the neighbours. All she could think of was how to explain to Gordon Song when he came back if at all. The cat was given to her from him. He told her that Cher was an extremely smart cat so that if she didn’t find him, she could always depend on Cher to “sniff me out”, as he put it. 

She knew Gordon’s number by heart. So she rang him now that Cher was not at sight. 

“I am coming,” Gordon said over the phone. Jacqueline was hundred percent sure that it was Gordon on the other end. She recognised his voice at once. The minute she heard Gordon’s voice she was relieved that the man was still alive. 

Sleeping Alone Story by Lee Su Min 22 Jacqueline sat in the dark for thirty minutes, afterwards she went to the kitchen to make herself some food. There was only one piece of leftover fish in the fridge, she reheated it and then she made some tea for herself. 

Without Cher by her side, Jacqueline had the entire queen-size bed to herself, and she was able to sleep without waking up in the middle of the night. The cat always announced her need to use the cat litter beforehand, as though there was a lock to it, when in actual fact it could just hop in and release herself. 

At night, Jacqueline dreamt that she was in a cave surrounded by loads of snakes. She knew that it was a sign that Gordon was doing something bad. But that she had no power to stop him as he was too far away, apart from the fact that she knew not where he was. In any case, Gordon never listened to her. 

Chapter 23

Mimi 

Trevor would have walked out of the estate this morning at 8:15 a.m. if not because of Mimi. When he woke up he found Mimi lying on the floor motionless. The bowl of milk and the chunk of fish was beside the cat but it had not been touched. It would have been clear to anybody with some common sense that his female company had taken ill. 

Trevor decided to bring Mimi to the veterinary at once. He entered the words “cat hospital” on the search bar and was glad to find the Camila Veterinary Hospital within the vicinity. He carried Mimi and rushed out of his flat to look for transport. 

Zubin could see Trevor taking Mimi out. This was the first time he saw the resident with the animal so he was a little curious. The animal looked exactly like the fawn which he saw at the bay window. 

“This your cat?” Zubin started conversation. 

“Yes,” Trevor didn’t want to say that he picked Mimi up from the bushes. 

“Rather pretty looking,” Zubin said. 

“I can’t get transport,” Trevor said. 

“Let me help you,” Zubin stepped forward to flag down one of the oncoming cars. 

Many taxis passed by and refused to stop. Finally one of them stopped in front of Zubin and wound down his window. 

“Where are you going?” the driver asked. 

“The Camila Veterinary Hospital,” Trevor said. 

The man accommodated but on condition that Trevor paid him double the fare. 

“I would have to clean out the car for the next passenger after you alighted,” was his reason. 

Doctor Choo the vet gave Mimi an x-ray and declared that the feline must stay for the night for further observations. He brought Trevor to the cat hospital grounds and showed him where Mimi would be sleeping. 

Trevor was shocked to see the animal shelter comprising of cages in several rows. He felt revolted and almost vomited. 

Trevor was Mimi’s rightful owner now so that he paid for the hospitalisation fee. Before he walked out he promised doctor Choo that he would come back to collect Mimi. 

The treatment for Mimi costs more than my own medical fees. Trevor thought to himself as he walked out of the hospital. 

The way to treat an animal is not to treat him as an animal. A cat is not a cat unless you meow at her. The message that Trevor got now was very clear – that he was grounded permanently. If Trevor wanted to travel he would have to lock Mimi up here and now that he has seen the living condition he could not bring himself to put Mimi in confinement. 

The next day duly at 10:00 a.m. Trevor went straight to the Camila Veterinary Hospital to pick up Mimi. He paid for the exorbitant hospitalisation fee and brought Mimi back to the estate, not forgetting to give the guard Robert Zubin a triumphant wave. And then it was fresh milk for Mimi as usual. 

Chapter 24

Jacqueline finally plucked up the courage to confront Zubin on the whereabouts of Cher. 

“Ma’am, once I am off duty at 8:00 p.m., I have no idea who comes in. Who is this Cher? Your friend?” Robert Zubin exonerated himself right from the start. 

“No, I am not asking about who came in, I am asking you about who went out,” Jacqueline was impatient. 

But then further on she continued, “I am referring to my cat,” 

It did not take two seconds for Zubin’s brains to tick. 

“I can bring you there,” Zubin offered. 

“Please!!!” Jacqueline was overjoyed. 

Both security and resident walked along the path and arrived at the spot where Zubin first stood, where he saw the fawn creature. It wasn’t a porcelain and that was actually Trevor’s apartment. 

There was a cat. 

Jacqueline saw and without looking so much as one glance at Zubin she went into the unit to retrieve her lost creature. Trevor’s front door was open. Jacqueline rushed into his flat, almost tripped over the real feline lying on the rug. The porcelain cat was as it should have been – right in front of the bay window. At the same time they both heard a meow and almost like a small hurricane the real cat Cher rushed out of the flat. 

Zubin was just too eager to pick up the fawn animal. 

With the cat in his hands the security guard walked up to Trevor. 

“Sir, I have found your lost pet and am now handing it back to you,” with clear English accent Zubin spoke. 

‘My, of course, thank you,” Trevor replied whilst taking over Mimi the creature from Robert Zubin. 

Chapter 25

Cher alias Mimi 

Even a cat knew who played a better master.

If you didn’t panic, you could have walked out easily ….

Chapter 1

Once you woke up from a dream you could never go back to sleep again. 

And even if you did it would have been a different dream. 

The impression of Tom was vague. If you asked me to sketch him I could make a two-dimensional picture of him. But that his voice and his manners could not be duplicated. I was just waking up to the day when I saw him at the beach. 

Whenever I tried to recall Tom, I always remembered a woman seated at the reception. She was warm but not too friendly. I imagined her to be working with Tom. The woman’s expression looked unhappy and she fitted into the entire old, dilapidated surroundings perfectly. I was only a teenager when I first came to this hotel. 

The reason why I remembered this woman so well was because she had the same name as my mother. It was just too coincidental as the spelling was exactly the same. I saw it on her name tag which she pinned on her staff uniform. I remembered that at the time I asked her if she was also holding a Singaporean passport like my mother, she looked defensive and she quickly turned her head away to shuffle some papers. 

That left me with a nagging question to this day that she was the receiver of my mother’s stolen passport. 

Mother was a piano teacher and having a student at home when I came back today. The sound of one of the examination pieces could be heard from inside the house. I took off my shoes and put them inside the cabinet at the front entrance. I could see that it was Claire the secondary school girl, as I recognised the pair of white Adidas shoes on the doormat. It was slightly worn out and she had a pair of pink shoe laces. She seemed to be in a hurry to get into the house for one shoe was thrown on top of the other. I almost wanted to pick up the shoe and put them back properly. 

Chapter 2

Dad was an architect. His business was to make drawings of houses but not to sell them. He was short, but fair, so you could not describe him as tall dark and handsome. I never thought that my dad was good looking, and often wondered why a good looking woman like mother landed up with such a plain man. 

I was doing my secondary three in the school at the time and all along staying in the house instead of the hostels. They have beautiful blocks and in order to get a feel of student life many would have joined. I thought of the clothes to wash and the going out to the dining room to eat after class together with the rest of the students in the other faculties. I realised that this proposal would have come from my parents if they wished to be rid of me. But no suggestion of hostel stay came. However it did occur to me that once out of the house I was no longer under their watchful eye. 

Recently I often heard the words green card being mentioned. At first I didn’t know what a green card was. I did a web search then realised that it was for U.S. permanent residency. That put me on notice at once: my parents were planning on migrating to the States without me! I freaked at the thought and I immediately went into action. I found my mother’s passport in her drawer. Next to it was my dad’s. It was silly of them to leave these important documents unattended. But then they trusted me. We had no full-time maid and never in their wildest dreams would it occur to them that I would steal their passports. 

I took the passport and kept it in my drawer. There was no problem I knew that my mother didn’t check my drawers as I was already old enough. And only then did I realise that drawers must always come with locks. No lock meant that anyone could go into my drawer to rummage things. So I found another way to hide mother’s passport. I put it amongst the books. I have a large bookshelf in my room. The books were not arranged in any order, like the way the library did. No filing by subject title, neither was there any alphabetical arrangement. I found this to be the perfect place to keep her passport. I slipped it amongst two of the books. However I wasn’t alert enough to look at the two titles, believing that I should be able to remember where the passport was kept. 

And then I went to take a shower. 

Chapter 3

Fifteen minutes later I went back to my notes again. I was doing architectural drawing, part of technical drawing. I have a special drawing board with clips on both sides. The board is propped up making the surface at a 45 degree angle. I was very happy to be making my last sketch on the paper. It was not easy. The lines had to be finely drawn and sometimes it was impossible to view an object from the side. From the front it was always very easy. Even from the top it was not too hard to visualise. I was no great talent but I usually got it right. Once this project was done I could go on and listen to my favourite – the Bee Gees. They were the old tapes which I still kept with me. 

I entirely forgot about the passport until one day when mother came in to ask me if I wanted to travel to Penang with her. I had never been to Malaysia before so I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. Malaysia was a new country to me altogether. And I was surprised that they weren’t bringing me to the States. What happened to the green card? 

But I said yes to mother, forgetting that her passport was with me, and that she would want to look for it at where she kept it. 

The minute she walked out of my room, I quickly went to look for her travel document. Alas! it was not there anymore. Where else could it have been? I pulled all the books out, almost emptying my entire shelf. But none was there. It was not in any plastic cover I remembered so actually it was easily recognisable. And if it was not there, who else could have taken it? 

I knew that if I went to mother to report the loss she would know that I took it. And if I were to report loss, it would be a declaration that it had been lost for good. No, I couldn’t do such a thing. I must give the thief a chance to return it. I decided to keep cool and wait. The passport has no legs. It could not walk away by itself. It had to be there. 

Mother wasn’t eating in tonight so I had the entire night to search for her document. I had cooked beef stew for myself, and then I went into my room. Automatically I arrived at my bookshelf. Strange, it usually got me the books that I wanted, I never had any problem finding any particular book. 

Ok! I know. Mother cleaned my room. She must have arranged my books and then found the passport. So the document was with mother now, I need not worry so much. I let the thought sink in and then I continued with my drawing. No other being came into my room that night. I meant no one else came into my bedroom that night. 

Dad wasn’t home yet. When Dad was still outside we often left our front door ajar so that he need not dig into his pocket to find the keys. 

Chapter 4

In the middle of the night, I heard a click sound, and I thought that it was the neighbour shutting his door. The man was a bachelor living alone. He drove a Ferrari and wore a Rolex. I described him as such for it was the most striking thing about him. Sometimes I saw another car parked in the garage and a woman coming into his house. Why I could not say more about him was that he never spoke to me. 

So on this instance I deduced, that the sound came from his side. It never occurred to me that the sound could have been from my own home. I refused to wake up for I needed my beauty sleep. But then another click came. This time a little louder. I opened my eyes. And there I saw a shadow in front of me. I knew that it wasn’t anyone from my house, as this shadow had long hair. Mother kept short hair. I didn’t know if you have seen a ghost before, but this woman was definitely one. I could not see her face, as it was pitch dark. 

The problem with me was that I always slept with the lights off, so that I needed to turn on the lamp by the side of the bed before I could send her away. I believed that if I had as much as turned on the light, she would disappear. But then something else told me that she had come here to help me, that if I asked a favour from her, she would help me search for my mother’s passport. 

So I spoke, “Can you help me find the passport?” 

I was direct and I was surprised that she too was forthcoming.

“Yes, this was what I was here for,” the woman’s voice was a whisper. 

“How did you know that I want you to find my mother’s passport?” I was surprised. 

“Where did you put it the last time?” she ignored my question. 

“I think I left it in between two books – “Death by Perfume” and “Beyond the Sky” 

“No worries, you will see it there when you wake up in the morning.” She said as she floated towards my bookshelf. 

I didn’t know what time it was, it could have been past midnight. But that I knew that the outside was dark, and that I had better obey her words. She definitely had supernatural powers. For if she didn’t, how could she have arrived at my bed? 

I did not believe in prayers. I was too proud. And I wasn’t afraid of ghosts. I wasn’t working in the hospital line or what, I was only in my early teens, even my parents were not yet candidates for the next world. So I decided not to fight her, and let her leave when she wanted to. I lay still in bed, she standing by the bedside again, and we stared at each other until another click sound. Then I saw her turn around and floated out of my room. 

The next morning, true enough, I found mother’s passport right where my unseen friend said where it was – between “Death by Perfume” and “Beyond the Sky”.

Chapter 5

Mother finally packed her clothes in her suitcase. I knew because she always made a big fuss about it. And then whilst I was packing mine, I came across an article in the short essay section. It wrote of a girl in a swim suit standing in front of a mirror saying to herself, “Goodbye, Helen,” involuntarily, several times. She used a pen name so she might not have been the real Helen. The story was kind of eerie so I quickly threw the newspaper away and went back to my drawing. 

Chapter 6

The flight from Singapore to Penang was short. Before the plane could properly settle down in high altitude it had to descend. It landed punctually at the airport and as it was a small flight check-in was fast. As we were queuing for the immigration, I saw that mother was holding another passport. 

Mother arrived at the immigration counter. 

“This passport is brand new?” officer said. 

“Yes,” mother replied. 

“When was the last time you entered Malaysia?” officer queried. 

“I can’t remember,” mother replied. 

“In that case I would have to scan your fingerprints,” the officer said. 

Mother put her fingers on the scanner obediently, as though she were some kind of merchandise waiting to be sold. 

When mother saw me on the other side of the boarder, she told me, 

“I thought the man wasn’t going to allow me to cross over,” 

I was very surprised as I thought that she had found her passport. Then someone else must have taken mother’s passport …. 

Yes, that meant that mother’s original passport was stolen! OMG! So that day when the lady ghost appeared at my bedside, she was here to steal my mother’s passport. She wasn’t a supernatural being. Carrying the argument one step further, then it could be that dad left the front door ajar for her to enter. How much was the profit margin? 

No ghosts, awoke from my dream, the situation was real. 

I could not contain my myself and I must have looked awful. 

“Susan, are you alright?” 

“Err, yes, I was just air sick,” 

“Naturally, this is the first time you have been on the plane, let me give you a sweet, it helps.” 

Several taxis were waiting for airport passengers when we stepped out of the arrival hall. The road to the hotel was slightly bumpy and as we were trying to take in the scenery from inside the car with torn tattered leather seats, the driver disrupted our thoughts. 

“Are you here for the Halloween?” he asked. 

By this time I had completely forgotten about Helen and her swimsuit. This was a new experience for me as I had never been overseas before. 

“No, of course not. Halloween is a European tradition. I am surprised that you know about it. I thought this is a Muslim country,” dad sounded as if he thought we had landed in another city. 

“This is Malaysia, no worries, Sir,” 

“I just hope that you know where our hotel is. It is the Rasa Sari Hotel,” 

“Talking about the hotel, do you know that it is haunted?” 

“Rubbish!” Dad pronounced. 

The taxi man gave a smirk, we could see on his face that he wasn’t going to give in on that. So from then on the journey was conducted in silence. 

Forty minutes later we all arrived at the Rasa Sari Hotel. The car ride took as much time as the flight journey. I stepped out of the car the moment the driver stopped his engine. The grounds were filled with coconut trees and it being the hottest time in the year, the trees were still, as though the palms were on strike refusing to give in to the call of nature. As we stepped out of the car, I could see a few coconuts on the floor, they were ripened and abandoned by the villagers and dwellers at the hotel. 

I could see that the hotel was not fully occupied. 

Chapter 7

Dad had to tip the taxi man twenty ringgit before the man would come out of his taxi to lift our luggage out of the boot. We waited, reluctantly he dragged them onto the hotel lobby. I was actually quite surprised to see the hotel staff in a blue batik uniform. Some were large white flowers with blue background, and others the same flowers in a red background. The men were in white pants whereas the women staff were in full dresses. I knew instantly that from now on the conversation would be in Malay throughout. 

I knew not how to converse in Malay. 

Several of the staff came up to help us pick up the luggage, and within three minutes all the luggage were brought to the concierge. One man brought dad to the reception to register for the six of us, whilst the rest of us sat at the lobby to wait for the room numbers. 

The first thing we did was to survey the hotel facilities. No dirty toilets, air-conditioned rooms. The restaurants were not too crowded and the bell boy who brought us to the hotel was chatty. He could speak English so we quickly asked him for the favourite tourists’ spots. 

“Just relax at the beach, Sir,” he ordered before he closed the door on us. 

They say that when your energy level was low, you tended to encounter spirits from the next world. Mine was low I was sure. For the woman I was almost certain was a ghost. 

Chapter 8

We arrived at the beach. 

The sea was calm, we could hear the gentle sweeping of the waves across the sea, a soft rhythmic motion so consistent you would think that there was a timer to it. But this was nature. I looked up and I saw an aeroplane fading into the other corner of the sky. I felt wrapped up by the entire atmosphere. I wanted to shout out loud. 

Dad had good sense. He knew that we had to go back to the hotel so he hurried us away. The hotel seemed inconsequential now. All I wanted was to go back to the beach. The sea has a calming effect on me. 

We took two adjourning rooms. Number 504 and 506. Between the rooms there was a door which could be locked from both sides. We immediately opened it up so that we had one large adjourning room. Dad and Uncle James slept on the sofa bed.

Chapter 9

In the middle of the night, I heard someone knocking on the door. It was loud enough for me to wake up so you could guess how loud it was. My neighbour, meaning my mother who was sharing the bed with me, did not hear the noise as she was snoring. She had some wine in the evening at dinner whereas I refrained. Dad finished the bottle and promptly went up to sleep in his room with Uncle James. 

The noise was persistent so I realised that I must answer it, otherwise it would continue till dawn. I was in my pyjamas so I wondered if I needed to change out of it. My pyjamas was a track suit long sleeves with a decent pants. I made a split second decision and with some effort I opened the door. No one was standing outside! 

I began to get curious, the knocking was loud and clear. Who could it have been? Who else could it have been? An unseen guest! Then I remembered the night I was at home on the day when I confiscated mother’s passport. The same being has followed me all the way from home! What shall I do? What can I do now? 

With some bravery I walked out of the hotel room, the floor was carpeted so there was no need to put on a pair of shoes. I turned left as our room was right at the end of the corridor. I could see the picture of a beach house just opposite me, and the room number 526 on the room. Ours was room 504. 

Then I heard a whisper, “follow me,” I felt a compulsion to walk down the corridor. I wasn’t sure if the voice came from inside room 526. There was no one in front of me, no one behind me. Only me and the mesmerising voice. I walked all the way to the lift lobby. There a vase with a few stalk of white flowers stood on top of a long table. The table had a lamp which was bright enough to lit the entire lobby area. 

I heard the lift coming up and the door opened when it reached my floor. At fifth level it could go up again. Suddenly I felt the urge to see how many levels there were altogether. So I walked in and I pressed the number on the top which would bring me to the twelve floor. This was a small hotel and it wasn’t too tall. I travelled up to the twelfth floor and then I decided to come down again. 

There was no table with a flower on the twelfth floor. 

Common sense told me to go back to my hotel room and sleep. So I walked back to my room. I remembered the white flower at the lobby area. But … hey wait! This was not the fifth floor. The flower on this floor was a purple orchid. What happened to the white orchid? 

“Go to the water,” I heard someone say. There was a couple who came out from the lift and the man said to the woman. 

“I will go to the pool tomorrow,” his companion the woman said. 

This time I had no idea which floor I was on. It had to be the fifth. I was staying in room 504. 504 meant the fifth level, room four. I pressed the number five. The door closed on me this time, which meant that I wasn’t coming in from the fifth floor. I must have been asleep. I told myself. So I had no choice but to let the lift bring me to the right level and then let myself out, go in again, and go back to where I came in from. 

A man came in. We did not say hello to each other. I saw him press six on the lift and then when the door opened I saw the white orchid. So this was the right level! I forgot that room 504 was on the sixth level, the first level being the ground floor. The hotel used colours of different orchids to mark the floor level. I walked along the corridor until I saw 526, and then I was happy to see the picture of the beach house still hanging there. I turned and went back into room 504. 

The next morning, having woken up from a sleepless night I decided to survey the hotel. I went to the hotel concierge and asked them where the hotel pool was. The man told me that it was on the twelve level just around the corner. 

Chapter 10

My mother was a frail thin woman not very robust. When I came back, she was still in her sleep having had a tiring day. 

Dad came down late for breakfast and as usual he criticised us the moment he saw us. 

“Why didn’t you take more butter for your bread?” he asked. 

It was too difficult a question to reply for I had no idea how much butter was sufficient for that thin slice of bread. And then, 

“Why aren’t you having orange juice?” he asked again. 

“Err, … “ I had no good reason for that. 

“You know that you can’t have lunch until 12:30, if you don’t eat now, you will be hungry again soon,” he started to lecture me. 

“But then orange juice is not food!” I tried to argue. That was very brave of me. 

“Now what you need to do is to go and get some grapefruit juice, and then see if they have porridge.” Dad concluded his order. What happened to the orange juice? The strange thing was that when I went to the buffet table the juice section, orange juice was finished and only the grapefruit juice was available. 

I dutifully went to the buffet table and grabbed myself some muffins and croissants. I saw the butter and I took three cubes of it. And then I also grabbed an otak. The buffet table was not crowded as not many people were up and about at this hour. When I went back to our breakfast table, Dad had his newspaper with him and he read it with his face buried in the pages. I could see a picture of the funeral procession of the late Thai King Bhumibol Adulyadej on the reverse side. 

The whole morning I kept wondering where the hotel pool was. 

Chapter 11

After breakfast, dad and mother went up to the reading room to continue with the newspapers, whereas Paul and I were left to our own devices, we decided to explore at the beach. It was some distance away and we had not gotten actual permission from the adults. When we arrived at the scene, we saw people scattered about the beach. We had no idea if they were the guests from our hotel. The beach had no demarcation or fence to partition the individual hotel grounds. It was just one long patch of sand with debris from the sea. 

I had some knowledge of the law and I deduced that ownership of the land did not extend to the sea, so that each hotel only owned that piece of land which stood on firm ground. 

I had already put on my swimming costume before I came down so that I was decidedly ready for the water. Dad did not know about this for I was wearing my jeans and t-shirt over it. 

Paul wanted to make a sand castle. 

I sat on the beach. And then I turned around to see if Paul had joined me. Nope, he wasn’t there. The wind came. Ooh! It was breezy, “nice and cool,” I thought to myself. 

“Susan, where are you?” Mother shouted. 

“Coming,” I said. And I quickly got up to meet her. 

Chapter 12

This morning I was at the beach again. The sand castle I made yesterday was not tall enough. I was going to add more sand to it, making it look more majestic. I had brought my bucket to the beach, and I desperately wanted more sand. The sand nearer the shore was finer, and they had more seashells. I was quite happy to be getting more seashells for it made the castle more decorative. 

And then I saw the nicest shell. 

“Susan, where are you?” I heard mother shouting again and this time I decided to ignore her. 

And then I heard Paul talking, “Go on, go up and get more sand,” he said. 

I wanted desperately to make the most beautiful sand castle. I took a step forward. I could feel the water running under my feet. It was warm water, contrary to what I thought. Sea water was warmer than tap water upstairs in the bathroom! Feeling quite pleased with myself, I walked further down. One wave came and it swept some of the sands away making a chip on my castle. For now I was not afraid of the seawater anymore. I had not realised that I was walking into the sea into the ocean. 

The sky was as bright as it should be. At noon day, there was no reason for any storm. 

Suddenly there was movement. The sea became a little choppy. It started to form waves. One wave came and then another followed. They were small waves, coming up from the sea. The waves became louder and made a splash on the beach, then it receded and collected the objects on the beach back into the sea, it swept some of the sands away. Once it hit the shore, another wave would form and come round. Like a series of dance movements, synchronised and powerful. I froze at the first wave. I tried to walk back to my sand castle. That was my purpose for being here … 

Finally one wave hit the beach strong enough to pull me back to the sea, I gave in to her vengeance. I lay low in the water, unable to move, paralysed by the force of the sea. I opened my eyes and I saw several fishes, they were so tiny and I said to them, 

“Hey, I am going to die soon …” 

“… in this case, you just relax here with us…” the fishes said to me.

And then suddenly a pair of large hands grabbed me by the side and pulled me out of the water. I was almost there – in the other world. The man pulled me out as though I was a piece of luggage, he put me onto the beach, my heart still beating. 

The man’s voice was loud, “the water was very shallow, if she had not panicked, she could have stood up by herself and walked backed to the shore,” the man knew that I was tricked by the water. 

“Open your eyes,” I heard Dad’s voice. 

I opened my eyes and I saw them: Dad, Mother, Uncle James, Auntie Michelle, and Paul. Their faces lined up in a circle in that order. I came to. 

I was alive again.

Chapter 13

I still haven’t forgotten about my sand castle. Was it still there? Has someone else claimed it in my absence? 

After the scare, mother and dad warned me not to go back to the beach again. “Just watch television for the rest of your stay here,” they ordered. 

So I stopped going to the beach. I missed my sand castle. The castle stood alone perhaps still waiting for me to build it to completion. The sun came down and the waves subsided. Everything was peaceful again. No storm, no calamity. 

I was happy to be just reading Agatha Christie the “Evil under the Sun” became my journey for now. I was no longer travelling with dad and company as I was deciding on whether I wanted to be Christine or Linda. I brought the story back into my bed at night, and I was quite satisfied with the status quo. 

Chapter 14

From the air I could see the blocks of houses arranged in a neat but not too conforming manner. I leaped at the thought of safe walls with no waves to engulf me. The minute the pilot announced that we have landed, I switched on my iPhone and got up to fetch my luggage. Many were already queuing up along the isle. 

Chapter 15

Time flies. 

Since the near drowning incident at the beach, I have carried with me a small Bible wherever I went. The Bible I marked the various books and flagged them with yellow post-pad. And then I began to take an interest in the scriptures. Life went on as usual and after my final exams at the university. I got my mortarboard together with a present from my dad – a beautiful watch. 

Mother kept my swim suit and never mentioned the event to me again. I casually asked her for the name of my saviour and she told me it was Tom. I in fact didn’t notice how he looked like so that I could never recall him. No, I was not going to tell you a story on how I spent the rest of my life looking for the lifeguard. He was not a professional life-guard and he was there only at the particular point in time he saved me from drowning and he left me there on the beach for my parents to claim me. The best part was, that my parents were trying to figure out how to use a new camera at the material time. Technology! 

Yes, I was also hooked on the internet of things, and I was also hooked on my drawing board. I really liked drawing lines, making it to scale. It was not easy, seeing one object from three angles. It was like interpreting one statement from three points of view. I saw things in a very simplistic way – yes or no. Maybe that was why I never made it to become an architect. 

I was to become a housewife after I married and cousin Paul married before me. I never got a chance to meet his fiancée. We had parted company since we came back from Penang, as dad said that it was best we forgot about the drowning incident, and the best way to go about it was to avoid seeing the villain. You could call Paul a villain, as he was the one who urged me to go further down the shore away into the depths. 

Chapter 16

When news came that cousin Paul was to marry this Christmas, I was shocked because Paul was barely graduating from university at the time. During the Christmas family gathering he vaguely spoke to me and then asked me for a glass of orange juice. I went to the fridge and offered him a glass. He accepted it but did not thank me. I came to the conclusion that he was upset. But that did not worry me. Paul was on the same level with me as far as hierarchy was concerned, since we were first cousins. 

And then after dinner mother dropped me a bomb shell – that it was a shot gun wedding. So it was not inconceivable that he would have acquired a fiancée so soon. I was just too keen to see how the lucky woman looked like. I bought a new dress, with little sequins at the front to impress the new relation. 

Chapter 17

“Susan, meet Helen my wife,” 

GOSH! THIS IS HELEN?! 

This the Helen who looked into the mirror and said, “Helen, you are going to die soon?”

Did Helen replace me? I had been Paul’s fiancée all the while! 

There was an old wives tale, that cousins do end up marrying each other. I never for one instance thought that I would marry cousin Paul. But why was it that I was given the article to read, and I became the victim, and now the victim’s name had been changed back to Helen? 

No, I must reject these notions at once. 

I turned my head away, I could not bring myself to take the outstretched hand. I took two steps backwards, and I left the scene and walked out of the wedding hall. After a while, I turned around, and was surprised that no one followed me. I thought they would. Oh but I wasn’t an important guest, the bride and groom were. 

I started walking for the sake of walking, yet at the same time I knew that I should not leave the hotel premises. I would have to return to the wedding hall after I have cooled down. It was rude of me to leave a wedding party before it had ended. I took my steps fugitively yet purposeful, determined to straighten my thoughts out. 

Finally I saw the pool.

Chapter 18

Yes, I was supposed to look for the pool. I remembered that eight years ago I was directed to look for the pool. I didn’t find it then and now I found it. Was it the same pool? No, of course not. How could it be? You silly! I knew that I have started to talk to myself again. But this time it wasn’t from a passer-by. There was not even a soul around me. 

The place was dark, but thank God there was still light. I could see the reflection of the poolside lamps on the water. I wanted to touch the lights. I have always liked bright lights and city life. I was just given an interior designing job to redecorate the lighting in Dunhill Park. I looked at the pool. No one was swimming. I guessed at this hour everyone else was having their dinner. 

Yes, the wedding dinner. Paul had finally married. And you couldn’t say that I was happy about it. I had a crush on Paul since I was thirteen. He was my male idol. Maybe that was why I never found anyone in the university. It was a repressed crush. I guessed all first cousins were the default spouse. In the Old Testament, they did say something about inter-marriages between cousins. Or did I read the Bible wrongly? 

Suddenly the pool disappeared. Oh no! They have switched off all the lights! So I could only find the lights under the pool. I reached out my hands to touch the pool. The water was warm, a bit like the water at the beach. My memories came back, I was at the beach now. In fact I was in Penang now. Paul and I were at the shore making a castle. At the time we were making a castle for the both of us to live together happily ever after. Yes, we did promise each other we would marry once we grew up. 

Sadly that message was not conveyed to a third party. A vow made between two young teenagers you could call it puppy love. Paul grew out of it but I never did. I had not seen Paul for almost a decade yet I still loved him. Was it a puppy love that I would eventually outgrow? No, the chance never came. For before I had found someone else, Paul had turned his back on me. Helen was the winner. She was the queen. 

Inside the wedding hall, guests arrived one after another. Then the couple walked down the aisle together to loud applause, the people celebrating their good fortune. I couldn’t say for sure if Paul will ever see me again. I guessed after tonight Helen would have the first claim on him. No cousin could compete with a spouse. At most I could say that I was once his fiancée. Between the ages of thirteen to twenty-one. Paul was one year older than I. 

As I went deeper and deeper into the past, my feet became colder and colder. The water was soft, it adapts to your body. You could move anywhere when you were in the water. It was not like a structural wall. I reached out my hand to find the lights. Wasn’t it at the bottom of the pool? 

Yes, it was. I could feel the tiles. This was a pool, this was not the beach at Penang. And then I remembered the words – “she panicked, she could have stood up by herself and walked backed to the shore.” Ok, it was that easy. I stood up. My head still submerged in the water. Oh dear, this time I am going to die, I am really going to die. It was ok, after all, Paul was no longer mine to call. 

And then suddenly, a hand grabbed me by the side. Someone pulled me by the waist, and then I was lifted out of the water … 

“Who are you?” I asked. 

“What do you think you are doing?” the tall looking man asked. 

“I was just, oh, I was just trying to swim.” I tried to cook up a story. Suicide was a crime. 

“Swim?! At night in this evening gown? Who do you think you are trying to kid?” 

The man looked at me and I looked at him. In fact, he was rather good looking. The whole area was dark but I could still see his eyes shining like a torch. And then suddenly the power supply came on. The place became bright and for the first time I saw my saviour. 

“Oh, you the life guard,” I tried to be clever. 

“Don’t be rude, I am Patrick,” the man said, and then he continued. 

“Paul sent me out to look for you, he was very concerned,” 

“There was nothing to be concerned about,” I retorted. 

“I fell into the pool accidentally,” I had to protect my sanity. 

“Of course,” Patrick gave me a queer look and then he ordered me to go back to the wedding hall. 

Involuntarily I followed. I had not met such a good looking man in my entire life. And I thought that I was beginning to fall in love … 

Inside the wedding hall, the guests were already seated having their second course. I took my seat next to Patrick and we chatted the entire night until dessert came, then Patrick told me that I should keep my weight. In turn I told him how many kilos I weighed. And he told me that his car could only accommodate two – the driver and a thin woman. 

I just could barely fit into his passenger seat. Goodbye Paul!

One of them is Laura’s cat ….

Chapter 1

Men have always been fascinated by women. 

I always wondered what Laura did after she walked out of my consultation room. 

Outside Samantha Ling was holding the fort, keeping the patients at bay. Not everyone who came in to see me has a legitimate purpose. 

I meant, some of them merely needed someone to talk to. When you have no one to talk to, you talked to your doctor. 

I was not a psychiatrist but Laura Fong has come in to see me about twenty times by now. 

The thing that struck me about Laura was her appearance. Yes, she was pretty but that was not what attracted me to her. The thing about Laura was that she always wore this black t-shirt. A black t-shirt was not uncommon or strange. It was the big cat on the t-shirt. It had crystal eyes and was very large. Whenever I met Laura, her black cat stared at me as though trying to communicate with me at the same time. 

So much so that often I couldn’t decide if I were talking to Laura or her cat, I meant, the cat on her t-shirt. I knew that it was a t-shirt, but the cat looked so real! Yes, the cat was extremely distracting. It got me a few times. I almost wanted to ask Laura where she got this cat from. 

The English has this tale about black cats … 

Yes, I was Chinese educated. I learnt how to read and write the word “school” in Chinese before I knew it in English. And then only in the university did I learn about the whole concept of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The word “unequivocal” was alien to me. 

Chapter 2

No pets were allowed in the hospital, with no exception to black cats. I couldn’t see that Laura’s cat was not a real cat, and that it was just her t-shirt! I was completely besotted with Laura and her black cat. 

I went home and did more research on black cats. And I became very excited about Laura’s cat. I knew that it was not real, but it seemed to have some connection there. Laura wore that t-shirt every time! And the eyes. The cat had yellow crystal eyes. Yes, I knew I was silly. It was just a stone sewn onto the material. 

But this was not what I was trying to complain about today. The purpose of my writing to you here, was that Laura was not a sick woman. She looked at me when she talked, and her eyes were bright and cheerful, unlike those of my other patients who stared at me with hollow eyes. Some other patients even had dark rings around the eye bags, listless and puffy. I marvelled at the speed with which Laura often had to tell me about her problems. 

Chapter 3

There were altogether nine hundred different species of germs in this world. Germs multiply and transmit from human to human as though there were no borders and checkpoints. 

I arrived at my clinic every morning looking forward to some new cases. A new kind of germs needed a new type of treatment. Although I was not at the forefront of the medical profession, I knew of a thing or two. 

After all I was a physician. 

My stethoscope I have it hung loosely around my neck. This was to indicate that I was a doctor and not anyone of those hanging around on hospital grounds. You couldn’t say that I was proud, it was just that I liked being known as a doctor. I worked hard for six long years in order to arrive at this status. 

The minute I got home I went to the machine to weigh myself. I was very conscious of my weight, especially since I was a doctor Recently I found myself to be slightly on the heavy side. My weight had been on the raise steadily. 

I saw that I was seventy-nine kg and I felt miserable instantly. In order to lift myself out of depression I had a cold shower and headed straight to the butcher. He sold the freshest peppercorn ham. I ate it without bread and butter. 

I also logged into the website to see if I could purchase any slimming products. I didn’t believe in exercise and dieting as basically I was a lazy person. 

Chapter 4

Whilst I was having my shower my hand phone rang. I saw the number and was wondering if I should decline the call this time. It was Carman again. 

“Hello,” I said, pretending not to expect her call. 

“Listen, this time I really want to do it,” the voice on the other end sounded frustrated and urgent. 

“DON’T DO IT!” I said. 

And then I added, “You have no right to do so.” 

“Think of the person at the other side, waiting for the organs,” Carman said.

“Yup, I know, but you have no right to play God,” I warned her. 

“It is pure selfishness,” Carman was vehement. 

“The guy can’t talk, can’t eat, can’t move, you don’t know if he was sleeping or awake.” Carman rattled on. 

“Listen, I just got back, I need to take a shower and fall asleep,” I knew that the conversation would lead to nowhere, although I already had my shower. 

Click, the line went dead. Carman was quick tempered, the result of her being efficient. 

I put the phone on silent mode. If she rings again I won’t answer. I knew which patient she was referring to. The one in room 107. 107 is one of those in the intensive care unit. Tomorrow I would drop by to see how the patient was doing. Right now I just wanted my car magazine. 

Chapter 5

Carman was right. 

The man was already brain dead. If his heart failed, he would be pronounced dead. But I could see that the heart was still pumping. I wondered how long the body would continue. I knew where the switch to the life support machine was. 

If I turned it off, he would only survive a few hours. And nobody would know about it. There was no CCTV in this room. This was not a first class ward. 

Just was I was contemplating the door opened and a nurse in white uniform walked in. She saw me. 

I quickly showed her my stethoscope. In a hospital, a stethoscope is like some kind of pass – an identification – to show that you were a doctor. 

“Dr Carmen sent me here,” I said. 

“Oh, you are a bit too late, Dr. Carmen has left for the day,” the nurse replied. 

“I’ll come back tomorrow,” I replied as I walked towards the door, on my way out. 

I went home and looked for the caller again. 

Recently his calls became more and more frequent. I always waited until I was at home before I returned his calls. The man’s name was Simon. He told me that he was in the real estate. 

But the purpose of his calls were unrelated to property buying and selling. Simon wanted me to find a liver for him. 

“You work in the hospital, you must know someone who could spare this, I am only twenty-eight, too young to die,” I could still remember Simon’s words when he first spoke to me. 

Normally I did not give out my phone numbers. And I didn’t know how Simon got hold of mine. It could be from the other patients whom I have seen. But my hand phone number was never given. So how could he have gotten hold of it? 

I let the mystery solve itself.

Chapter 6

In order to practise medicine, I joined the Florentine Hospital. They hired Samantha for me and they placed her at the reception counter just in front of my room. Yes, I have a room, and it was equipped with a desk, three chairs and a patient bed. I was also given a computer as well as a telephone. The telephone was old fashioned and came with a shrill ringing tone. 

We were a small hospital and the grounds were not as wide as other hospitals. But we were interior designed. The floor was marble, imitation it might have been, and our toilets were wallpapered. You could find plants along the path as you walked from the entrance to my office. 

My job was a boring one. As a doctor you met with people who were either sneezing, coughing or running a temperature. Patients have nothing to tell you except that they were feeling wretched. 

Of course I was always at the receiving end. 

But the outside was full of people. The entire area was bubbling with activity. You could see that the patients who came to this hospital were fairly well-to-do. The only thing that troubled me was that I wasn’t sure if Samantha was doing her work properly. She seemed to be distracted with something. 

In order to break the monotony of things, I arrived at the Caramel Café regularly twice a day. This café is our in-house canteen where tea was always piping hot. 

Chapter 7

Laura always had some complaint whenever she came in to see me. Naturally, I was a physician. People came in to tell me what was wrong with them, and I made a diagnosis and dispense some medicine for cure. My medicine usually worked, and maybe that was why Laura came back to me every time, apart from my other two hundred and ninety-nine patients. 

This morning my clinic door burst open with Laura walking in. She has her hair tied in a ponytail, but you could still see that it was very unkempt. In fact, the whole impression she gave me was very unruly, as though she had just got up from bed and had not cleaned up before she came. But that did not distract me from her black cat. 

“Good morning, Dr. Nicholas,” she greeted me. 

My name was not Nicholas. But I let it pass. She has seen me before, surely she should know my name by now? 

Laura took time to unload herself, placing her bag on the chair meant for the patient. Instead she sat on the chair meant for the caregiver. I knew straight away that something was amiss. Nonetheless, I continued to act normal. 

And I wrote the words on the case sheet: patient refused to conform. I knew very well that I could not record sitting on the wrong chair as an illness. 

“Sit down,” I said. 

She refused, and she began. 

“I think you know what had happened to me,” 

As a matter of fact, I didn’t. 

But I said, “Yes of course I know,” pretending that I understood. 

My job was to do doctoring not counselling even though I also took a subject in psychiatry. If she were ill I could dispense some medicine for her. 

And then she began. 

I know that it is in your hands,” 

“What is?” I opened my palms to show that I had no idea what she was talking about. 

“My husband is waiting for you to save him,” the woman dropped a bomb shell. 

“How am I to do that? Certainly I will save him,” I said. 

“He has been waiting long enough,” Laura complained. 

“Waiting for what?” Innocently I asked. 

“Several of your patients are in the ICU, and many are pronounced brain dead.” 

I think I knew what she was getting at. So I quickly tried to stop her, 

“Hey woman, this is not the place to discuss these issues.” 

“You know that it is morally wrong,” “to keep a dead person alive.” Laura was getting intense. 

And I was also getting fed up. 

“How could you say this?!” my voice was rising a little.

“My husband needs the liver.” Laura hit the bottom line. 

So she was related to the caller who had been ringing me regularly these days. 

I pretended that I didn’t know that it was Simon. 

“The decision lies with the hospital, not me.” I became bureaucratic. I had no other way to deal with this. 

Laura looked at me and smiled, saying, “I never said that you were in-charge. I was merely letting you know of my predicament.” 

I looked at the woman, and I looked at the digital clock on my desk. Consultation time was up. We chatted eight minutes, and I was supposed to make diagnosis and give a prescription. 

I had no diagnosis on Laura. She came here to see me about her spouse. What could I say? 

Chapter 8

Bored with no patients I went outside up to Samantha and asked her who told Laura that I was Dr. Nicholas. Samantha was always the most reliable source of information and I liked her very much. 

“No, Dr. Goh, I didn’t tell her anything. And she went back to her computer. 

I stood there for another five minutes and then I decided to go toCaramel Café for my tea again. 

Chapter 9

One of my hobbies was to play the piano at the Candlelight Lounge at the Royal Park.

I often dropped by the lounge in the evenings to play some of my favourite tunes like Chopin’s Etudes. Chopin was a difficult composer to master. That was why they accepted me on my first interview. Of course I hadn’t told them that I was also a doctor. 

I was not supposed to be holding two professions at the same time, like in a marriage contract, you were not allowed two wives. But the lounge was not paying me, so the hospital could not dismiss me on the ground that I was moonlighting. Of course it was stupid to give up the prestigious hospital job for piano playing at a hotel lounge. 

But I needed the relaxation and I particularly liked the appreciation that came from the audience – they liked my pieces. Even if I only had that few pieces. My repertoire was narrow. I didn’t know how to play jazz or pop. 

In the lounge I actually used the name Nicholas. Was it pure coincidence that Laura called me “Dr. Nicholas”? 

And then since my services was all for free, I got a warm beer and a red wine as consideration. Come to think of it, I never knew what brand of beer and wine I was offered. It must have been a Tiger. I liked Tiger. The red wine I would think was a house wine. 

As I was playing this evening, a black cat jumped out of nowhere and sat on top of my piano. I was shocked, but kept my cool. I continued playing and the feline just sat there on top of the piano and stared at me. She was all black and her eyes shimmering green. I was almost afraid of her. I could see her black fur shinning and reflecting the light that came from the ceiling, like she was challenging me, telling me I had better stop playing. 

Her fat tail was swinging about like a metronome. I was severely distracted, yet I couldn’t tell her to move away. 

I ended the piece on a wrong note. And then I quickly stood up and bowed, signally that I was going to pause for the day. If this cat didn’t go away I would end the night after my beer. 

I grabbed my beer and I went to the gents to take a rest.

Chapter 10

One of the things I learnt in the college from my books was that you must make your patients like you. And this was the thing I was trying to do for myself as regards Laura. 

I found that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Laura. Laura was not ill. She came to see me for the sole purpose of talking about her spouse. She wanted help to obtain the organ from one of the patients at the ICU for her husband. And only I knew which patient was near terminal. I was able to access the files in the department. 

At night after I came home, I tossed in bed, turning from left to right, from right to left, and I got no answer for myself. In the end I fell asleep on my own prescription. As a doctor I could get medicine without any problems. The pharmacy assumed that I knew what I was doing. Doctors were allowed to cure themselves, apart from their patients. 

I have used up all the excuses I had with patients. From mood swings to paranoia, from unreasonableness to bad character, although I was well aware that unreasonableness was not an illness at all. Besides I didn’t really want to send her to another doctor. 

But I would miss Laura very much if she were gone, as it was always good to meet with a healthy patient. 

Chapter 11

Today as I was having my tea I heard Laura’s footsteps. Her footsteps were always loud and clear. No one could have missed it. And I was surprised that she found her way to the Caramel Café.

Normally I was attracted to pretty women. And I thought I liked Laura. But this time she intruded into my space. I was supposed to be having my tea break! 

Laura carried a bag which was way too big for her. Her backpack was gone. So by comparison Laura was outsized. Laura was a small woman and very thin. The other thing I liked about her was her voice. 

“We don’t sell scones, ma’am,” I heard the waiter said. 

“And why not?” I heard her ask. 

“It is not in our menu, ma’am,” 

“Show me your menu, I don’t believe you,” Laura said. 

At this juncture I stood up. I could imagine the waiter’s frustration. 

I felt it was time I interfered. 

“Why are you sitting at my seat?” I walked up to Laura and asked. I didn’t know why I said that. 

“Show me your ticket,” she wasn’t perturbed or surprised. 

I haven’t ordered my food yet, so I had no receipt to show her. 

“There you are, you have no proof,” 

“No proof of what?” stupidly I asked. 

“No proof that I am taking your chair,” 

I didn’t know why I did all that. This was outside the scope of my practice. 

With a certain amount of composure, I walked away, leaving the entire Caramel Café at her disposal. 

And then I went back to my office, sat there for another forty minutes to make sure that I had no other patients, before I went into Laura’s profile and wrote the words: unreasonable behaviour, then logging out of my PC to leave for home. 

Samantha made sure that she saw me off before she left the hospital. It had always been the case. I took no notice of the fact that she had a mug with the words, “Marry Me” on her desk. 

Chapter 12

Laura Fong was … there was a certain quality about her. I couldn’t begin to describe … maybe she was pretty, sweet, or perhaps even attractive. But she was supposed to be sick! I knew people who were sick, you did not deal with them. They were often unreasonable, difficult and demanding. And once you tread on their wrong side, they could hate you for no reason. 

And also I must be careful not to allow the others to create rumours that I was courting Laura. There was no evidence to suggest otherwise. I had been seeing Laura more often than I should. The only witness was this PC right in front of me which I used to key in the records of our meeting the result of my observation. 

I knew that I was in a danger zone. 

So that even if Laura were not sick, I must pin a reason for the all too frequent consultations. I must either discharge Laura or declare her ill. 

I pondered on a prescription. 

Chapter 13

Nothing alarming so far. 

Until I saw the black cat at the Caramel Cafe. I couldn’t be sure if it was the same feline. But sixth sense told me it was the black cat at the lounge. This was confirmed by the ribbon with a bell around her neck. It was bright pink with a charm attached to it. Unless her owner put on the same collar. But if you studied statistics you would know that the probability was one in a million. Black cats didn’t come easily. 

But why was she here? Was she spying on me? 

As I locked my clinic this evening I took my steps gingerly. I saw my own shadow on the ground for the first time. Only then did I realise that my lot number was 64. I had been parking here relying on my own sense of direction to get to my clinic. And I always found my car. 

I unlocked my car and went in. 

The window was slightly wound down. I took no notice of it. I put my key in the ignition the engine started without difficulty – that’s one thing about a new car. 

Just before I drove off, I heard a meow. And then as I wound down my window I saw a black cat run out from my car. 

Superstition has it that if a black cat ran over a coffin, the dead body would wake up. 

I have no dead body waiting to be resurrected at the moment, so there was no need to engage the services of this black cat, who seemed so ready for company. 

Chapter 14

I was in a dilemma. People lived and people died. It was like every one of us was on rotation. Today Lawrence died and a Mr. and Mrs. Chang has a new born son. Florence passed on and a new baby girl was born at the hospital. Our spirits rotate as though there was a time machine recording where our souls went. 

I could not say with all honesty, that the guy on the life support machine ought to give up his life for Laura’s husband, or any other man for that matter. Who was to say that the value of the guy on life support was lesser than another’s? Life was not a commodity that is quantifiable. We were not at liberty to put two lives on a scale to determine which held more weight. Not one of us has a right to determine who should live and who should die. We were all humans. 

And so, I stopped going to the ICU. I realized that I have no right to play God. It was also best I avoided Carman completely. 

But the story of black cats played on my mind. I was thinking of Laura’s cat. Why Laura had to wear that t-shirt all the time whenever she came to see me? I believed that it wasn’t coincidental. 

But I thought about it and realized that her words weren’t supposed to be taken seriously. All I needed to do was to turn her down. There was no need for me to insist that she was ill, either physically or mentally. I was a doctor after all, and I was supposed to cure. 

Yes, I was good looking. Many people liked me. I earned a good income, and I was still single. I have every reason to marry. But I was married to my profession. I loved sick people. I loved the look of hope on those sick patients. I wanted to cure them all. I didn’t believe that anyone was born sick. No one disease was incurable. And no one should be sick forever.

Chapter 15

I was beginning to think that Laura feigned illness to see me. 

And so I finally plucked up the courage to ask Laura who recommended me to see her. 

“It’s Brandon Chow,” “Brandon Chow was my neighbour,” Laura said. And then she continued, 

“Do you think that my husband would die soon?” Laura fired me point blank today. In order to avoid the topic of giving her husband the organ, I said to her, 

“Frankly, I don’t know if God is going to call your husband, or whether He has outsourced the job to the devil. And I have no idea if he was going to heaven or to hell,” 

“But if you insist on asking me, at this moment precisely, I think the chances are that He has left the premises.” 

With that I intercom Samantha for her to come in with the appointment card for my next patient so that Laura could leave. 

I knew that I was in a dilemma. 

Chapter 16

Laura came without any baggage. Her husband was dying. She would soon be available. And Laura was my dream girl. 

Yes, I was single. I was thirty going on forty and I was a bachelor. I had planned to stay single but Laura changed everything. Laura fitted the bill, but she was my patient. Apart from the fact that Laura was married, a doctor could not have any relationship with his patient. For otherwise he would flout his professional ethics code. 

Err, it was like “God forbid.” 

I was not a Christian. So it was difficult for me to confide with God. I did not pray, I’d rather exercise. And if you have prayed often enough you would probably know what I was talking about. 

Instead I climbed the Hollywood Hill every Sunday. The hill was high. And on a Sunday many people were there. 

When I walked, my footsteps were fast and brisk. The sky was dark and the rain came. I had to seek shelter somewhere, and at the pavilion there I saw Laura. 

Laura was alone! 

In the end the rain poured before I reached the foot of the hill. My shoes were soaking with muddy rain water and my track suit was sticking onto my skin making me uncomfortable. I quickly went to get my car to drive home. If Laura had greeted me I would have offered her a ride home. 

Chapter 17

Laura missed her appointment today. 

Has she gone overseas without letting me know? 

I sat waiting for time to pass. Outside Samantha was paging me and I could see my intercom blinking. 

I realized that I must see to my other patients. Laura Fong was not my only patient. I still had my other two-hundred-and-ninety-nine patients, waiting to be diagnosed. 

I had always known that Samantha liked me. As far as I was concerned, it was good to get along with your receptionist. But that Samantha was slightly too fat and matronly. I also disliked the way she tied her hair in a bun making her look shorter than she should. But I was diplomatic, I couldn’t quarrel with her. 

Samantha was always there to greet me in the mornings and there to say, “Have a good day!” before I left for home. She was my support and I was grateful for that. 

It never occurred to me that Samantha entertained the thought of marrying me until the day she appeared at my office with my favourite tea which I usually got from the Caramel Café. It was as though she was trying to stop me from going to the café. 

But of course Laura and I had not made any appointments to meet there. Like I said right from the beginning, doctors and patients have a certain telepathic link. Once we read each other correctly we never failed to misread. 

Chapter 18

As I was walking towards my car I felt something strange happening under my nose. 

And then my suspicion was confirmed as I sat on a black cat! 

She was as soft as she should be, but the strange thing was that she did not protest. I meant, I was over seventy kg, surely she would meow! I quickly jumped up, and then I found that she was motionless. I put out my hand to ruffle her. It was a little cold. The weather was cold today as it had been raining, so it was not unusual for the black cat to be cold. But that she did not move when I touched her. Her body was kind of hard, but she was still breathing. 

OMG! 

LAURA! 

This was Laura’s black cat! 

I quickly put her by the passenger seat and drove us to the nearest hospital. I scanned my memory … Mt Elizabeth Orchard, Gleneagles Hospital, Tan Tock Seng, SGH … which was nearer? As I was driving I headed towards the Gleneagles, which was the most natural thing to do as it was my habit to drive in that direction since I lived in town. 

As I reached the Gleneagles, I let the valet park my car, my keys I left in the ignition. They were in a bunch together with my clinic door key. 

I carried the black cat, I walked up the flight of steps three steps at a time and I literally ran towards the A & E Department. 

“Is there a doctor on duty?” at this hour maybe there was no doctor on duty immediately, so that I asked again, 

“How long do I have to wait?” 

“Excuse me, Sir,” the nurse in green uniform said. 

“Pets are not allowed in here,” woman stared at me. 

“I am …” I stared back at her … OMG … 

This was a normal hospital! This was not a veterinary clinic! 

I had forgotten that the black cat was an animal and required animal treatment! 

Quickly I composed myself, “Oh yeah I forgot, err, yup, I … I … err … I go back and put her back in my car …” 

I rushed out of the hospital, back to the valet. 

No one was there. 

God! I couldn’t find my car now. And then now I have to go to the Police to report loss. But never mind, the car could be retrieved easily. So long as I have the log book, no one could run away with it. I was sure that they couldn’t drive it out of Singapore. But then, … it was possible! 

However, the black cat was in my arms now. Between the black cat and my car, I had to make a choice. Ok, I had no sentimental value attached to the car. A car was a car. The black cat was a living thing. And if I delayed any further it might not be a living thing anymore. 

Automatically I walked towards the main road, and I hailed for an empty taxi. In the dark, no driver could see that I was holding a black cat, so that I got a taxi easily. 

I arrived at the veterinary clinic and literally dropped the black cat at the reception counter as my next immediate task was to look for my car. I needed also to report to work the next day so I rang Samantha to ask her to come to the clinic early to open my room, before my first patient arrived tomorrow morning. 

Chapter 19

Samantha was a good girl. She was drinking coffee with her mug when I arrived. I saw the words “Marry Me” on the mug and asked myself: is she trying to ask me to marry her? I stood there for her to open my clinic door, before I shrugged the crazy thought away. Girl couldn’t have been serious.

Chapter 20

I entertained at least twenty patients before I left for the Candlelight Lounge tonight. None of them were Laura. 

Since the black cat incident, I never saw Laura at the clinic again. I went to the hill, I had tea at Caramel Café more often. But fact was that Laura had disappeared from my life. 

Of course I missed Laura. She was my dream girl. 

Yes, I was a doctor. I was supposed to be even tempered and sound, I knew that I wasn’t ill, I was just falling in love. But that the subject of my affection wasn’t reciprocating. I doubt if Laura knew of my intentions at all. 

I tried my best to forget about Laura when she was not physically present. I told myself I did not talk to her unless she was right in front of me. 

Yes, Laura had unwittingly entered into my world. She was unreasonable, she was sad, but she was challenging. I knew that she was here for a purpose, but that the purpose was not very well defined. Did she want me to prescribe her with medication? Or did she merely wanted to see me? If she liked me she could declare now. I won’t have minded. 

I flipped at the appointment cards, wondering what the next patient Gerald Soh’s profile was like. Laura was well, there was no doubt about it, so there was no reason for me to see her anymore. Maybe Laura had discharged herself. We, doctors, didn’t turn away patients. 

Chapter 21

I went back to the veterinary clinic. And I said to the girl at the reception, 

I started by saying, “Excuse me, the cat.” 

“What cat, Sir?” 

“I left my cat behind,” I said plainly. 

“Oh you mean the black cat?” “She died.” 

The woman dug out a note and placed it in front of me. And she continued, 

“Here is the amount, please settle before you leave.” 

Without so much as glancing at the bill, I rushed out of the veterinary, leaving the premises as though it were a house on fire. 

In the hot sun outside, I did not know where to go. I allowed my skin to be burnt by the scorching heat. Then I recalled once again that I did not have my car with me. If the thief had taken it, he would have left the causeway by now. 

I picked up my phone and rang Samantha. I have been calling on her more often these days as I seemed to be needing help from her all too often. She answered the call at one ring. 

“Your patient is waiting for you,” Samantha said. 

“Who was it?” I half hoping that it would be Laura Fong. 

“It’s Laura, the one you like,” 

“Tell her I am out of town,” I couldn’t go in today. I was feeling quite sick. I was afraid to face Laura. I didn’t know how to explain the demise of the black cat. 

And I couldn’t understand why Samantha had to describe Laura as the one you like, as though she could read my mind. 

Now Laura and I were playing a cat and mouse game. 

Chapter 22

At midnight I woke up when I heard a voice, 

“You killed my cat.” 

I heard Laura talking to me. 

“No, I didn’t.” Meekly I replied. 

“You killed my cat.” Again the voice said. 

I was too weak to reply. I let the voice fade before I fell asleep again. 

I saw Samantha’s face when I opened my eyes. She was all smiling. 

“Simon, your wife is here to see you.” Samantha said. 

“Wife?” I was very sure that I wasn’t married. 

“Who is my wife?” I was a little louder. 

“Laura Fong,” Samantha said. 

“Which Laura Fong?” I tried to be composed. 

“You will know when you see her,” Samantha was encouraging. 

I heard the loud and deliberate footsteps again. 

And then they stopped right in front of my eyes. 

It was my Laura Fong! 

LAURA! 

The Laura that I missed all this while. 

“He woke up,” “So he is good,” 

“Let’s check his blood pressure,” the nurse standing by the side said. 

She took a gadget and used the pad to wrap around my arm. Then she recorded the reading on the gadget. 

“120 over 70,” she said. 

“Normal” Laura pronounced. 

I was very happy that I saw Laura again. But I couldn’t quite recall the events preceding this. So I asked, 

“How did I come here?” 

“Someone called the ambulance,” Laura said. 

“Oh I see,” that meant that I actually fainted. 

I must have very sick, sick with worry that Laura had disappeared from my life. 

Laura was not wearing her black t-shirt today. The one with the black cat. Which reminded me, “where’s your cat?” 

“I don’t have a cat,” Laura declared. 

And then I woke up from my dream. It was a midsummer nights’ dream. 

In order not to allow people know my thoughts and how crazy I had been, I merely said, 

“Oh, sorry, I meant what happened to the t-shirt that you usually wore,” 

“Oh, the cat t-shirt, you meant,” Laura was kind. She knew that my thoughts were sick, and I knew that she knew that I was ill. I was sure that everyone knew about me and my black cat. The veterinary clinic must have told her about their experiences with me. 

“I will settle your bill for you,” Laura said. 

“You mean the cat bill?” I blurted out. 

“Whatever,” Laura muttered under her breath. But I heard. 

Chapter 23

Today I was at the hospital seeing patients as usual. 

Several patients were waiting to see me, I looked at the card: 

1420: Fiona Ng Lay Kuan (Weight: 53 kg, Height 1.54 m) 

The door burst open and the patient walked in. Her hair was unkempt and she carried a backpack too large for her. She sat on the chair meant for the caregiver, and she said to me, 

“Dr. Simon, I have a complaint to make,” 

My name was Cecil Goh, not Simon. So I said to her, 

“There is some mistake here, my name is not Simon,”

“Ok then, Dr. Fong, I feel breathless all the time, and I am unsure if I got the pneumonia.” 

“It could just be asthma,” I said, before I took out my stethoscope. 

“Yes, I’ve had this since I was a child,” the woman said. 

“You could be suffering from mere influenza.” I tried to allay her fears. 

“Oh, Dr. Fong, if you could give me two days’ medical leave I would be just too happy,” again she called me wrongly. 

“By the way, my name is not Simon Fong,” I said quietly. 

“Then … what is your name?” she asked, curious. 

“I am Laura Fong’s husband,” and then I added, 

“Simon passed away recently.” 

“Huh? You are not Simon Fong?! The receptionist outside said that you were Simon Fong.” 

“Just call me Laura Fong’s husband.” I was too tired to argue … 

If you believed in old wives’ tales, then the black cat I carried to the hospital had served the purpose of resurrecting Simon Fong’s soul into my body. Laura’s cat on her t-shirt was a symbol of the real black which found its way into my car and then died on me. It seemed that the feline carried the soul of Simon and passed it onto me whilst I was carrying it on my body. And then it martyred. 

Carman still called me on and off, and it was always regarding the same issue. The last I heard was the patient in 107 was still alive. 

But that his bills hadn’t been settled for months. He could have saved Simon. But that won’t have benefitted me. 

Simon’s departure brought Laura and I together, and so we must remember never to play God. Even the devil can work in our favour in same situations. We were only passers-by in the cosmic universe. 

I had no idea that Laura was attracted to me all the while, and she coming to see me as I was the prospect to replace her husband. Since I was Chinese educated, let me quote you a Chinese saying, “A woman’s heart is like a needle at the bottom of the ocean.” 

Laura was waiting for me at home. She made the nicest peppermint tea which was brewed to my perfection. And it was always piping hot. I stopped going to the Caramel Café, and I stopped playing the piano at the Candlelight Lounge.

Laura has also stopped wearing the cat t-shirt.

There is life after death ….

The Spirits are Alive 

Chapter 1

You could open the door when you have clothes on. 

Charmaine was in the bathroom having her shower when George rang the doorbell. He said he was coming at 7 o’clock but he turned up an hour earlier. 

Something must be up. Charmaine told herself. 

Outside the door, George was in his office attire, in a state. He was panting as though being pursued by a large Alsatian. Naturally Charmaine took him in. 

“I just heard something …” he was talking as he walked in, not taking off his shoes. 

“Excuse me George, your shoes,” Charmaine tried to remind him. 

“What?” completely distracted he said. 

“This is a graveyard! You want me to take off my shoes?!”

“What are you talking about? You are in my house now!” 

“Oh my God! You didn’t know?!” George was almost hysterical. 

“Calm down. What is it that I am supposed to know and do not know?” Charmaine said, still in her towel. 

“Last night I was at a party, and I found out some very useful information,” he said. 

“So you’ve come here to discharge it now …” Charmaine continued for George. 

“Err, … yes, no, YES!” 

“This entire Providence Hill used to be a graveyard and apparently the bodies are not even properly exhumed.” George dropped a bomb shell. 

“Are you trying to say that this place is haunted?” Charmaine came to the conclusion for George. 

“So, you already know about it?” he seemed to be surprised. 

“No, I have no evidence of it. I have been living here for so long. I can swear under oath that this place is clean.” Charmaine put her hands on her chest. 

“Ghosts are an endangered species. I am sure that they are almost extinct by now.” Charmaine advised George. 

“No, something smells fishy. I am sure that the rumour is true.” George insisted. 

Chapter 2

Charmaine saw this dress hanging in the showcase all the time. It was made of red flowers sewn all over the piece of material underneath it. Looking at it Charmaine could see that it fitted her very well. 

This dress has been here since December and there were still no takers to date. Perhaps it was too expensive. 

Today Charmaine felt a compulsion to go into the shop. The red dress on the mannequin was too attractive. She walked around the shop, hoping to find the price tag. 

Before Charmaine could do anything, a salesperson came by. He stood next to her, 

“Excuse me, ma’am,” startled, she turned around. 

“You don’t scare me like this, what is it you want?” naturally Charmaine said. 

“No, I am asking you what is it you want?” salesman said. 

“Can I help you?” he refused to budge. 

“Yes, you can stand around and watch me,” her mood turned sour. And she said, 

“Are you trying to ask me to leave?” 

“No ma’am it is not our policy to send away customers,” the salesman said politely. 

Charmaine was put at ease immediately. And so she said to him, 

“You could let me try that if you don’t mind,” pointing to the red dress. 

“Yes of course,” “but I know that it won’t fit you,” he said. 

“Ok then we take the risk,” Charmaine told him. 

Charmaine used her hand to grab at the dress, making the dress fall off the rack. She could see that the salesman was shocked. But he allowed her to continue to rummage at the dress causing the entire section with the other clothes on the rack to fall off. 

The salesman was not perturbed. He bent down and picked up two pieces. And then he put them back again. 

“Ma’am, if you try on this piece, you might find that it suits you,” he said, holding another dress right in front of her. 

Charmaine was already in a very foul mood, so naturally she declined his request. But she was not finished yet, so that she took the red piece from him, and then she examined herself in front of the full length mirror. She looked perfect! 

Chapter 3

“There must be a reason for the salesman to be standing here watching me like that,” Charmaine told herself. She looked at him and he smiled at her refusing to budge. His accent was unmistakably Filipino. Charmaine has nothing against Filipinas and in fact she thought that they were very nice people. 

Before she left, Charmain promised the salesman that she would go back again. 

Charmaine knew where she could get the money from. There was this drawer at the dining room. It was a bureau. She had opened it before and she found seven-hundred-dollars inside. Cash. She was suspicious of it at first. But after several days when she opened it again she found that it was untouched. So she was overjoyed. Charmaine knew that the money was meant for her. 

Actually apart from the money, food and fruits have found their way onto the dining table as well. They ranged from deep fried prawns to a less delicious version of just plain pork chop. Yup Charmaine got food regularly on the dining table. She has not the foggiest idea where they came from. But she knew that they came from outside. This was an old bungalow old enough to be a preserved site. 

One night she was hungry for Hokkien Mee, so she wrote on a piece of paper “Hokkien Mee” and left it on the dining table. Tomorrow when the caterers come to clean away the dishes they would see this and perhaps they would bring this dish here for me the next time, Charmain thought to herself. 

Tonight, Charmaine grabbed at the chicken drumsticks and ate them up. Life was not supposed to be perfect like this. She knew that one day she would have to pay for all these free foods. But for now she decided to let things be. 

Her provider has the key to the front door so that if she wanted to stop him from coming in she would have to change the lock. She had no means to call the locksmith.

In Real Time 

Chapter 4

Elsie was the girl who looked after this place. She came to live here three years ago after she answered a recruitment notice in the newspapers and was interviewed by Mr Seow. 

You could call her a caretaker if you liked. Fact was that Elsie swept the floor and polished the ornaments. There were lots of copper and silver in the cabinet. You could see them from outside as they were inside a glass cabinet. 

“Over here!” Charmaine shouted, she saw some broken glass on the floor. 

Elsie continued to tidy up the room, ignoring Charmaine as though she was invisible, it meant that Elsie didn’t hear her. Charmaine wanted to stop Elsie from sweeping but was afraid of quarrelling with her. She looked so busy. Her hair was tied in a bun and she had this piece of cloth that wiped everything. And the speed with which she did everything! 

Elsie usually did this when Charmaine was having her meal. Charmaine holding her fork and spoon, with the morsels in her mouth her words sounded muffled and weak. 

After dinner Charmaine usually went up to her room. She had a room to herself. The other one was occupied by Jacintha her half-sister. 

Charmaine came to live in this house as it has always been her abode. 

Charmaine usually slept on the bed without actually falling asleep. Usually she slept in the day. She was a night person and she preferred to move around at night. The atmosphere was quiet and she could do things without disturbing anybody. She liked to change into her white dress as it was frilly and the reason why she particularly liked this dress was because her parents put her in a frilly frock soon after she was born. 

No, she didn’t live alone. Jacintha lived next door and they operated as though they were two trains running on the same track, each having its own timetable. Jacintha was Charmaine’s half-sister and related to her because they shared the same mother. 

The Spirits are Alive 

Chapter 5

No one came to visit Charmaine and Jacintha except David Seow. Mr Seow was almost ninety and he tottered about as though he was going to collapse at any moment, and it was a strain to watch him going about the house. He ignored them as though they were invisible, and as he walked around the house, he would pick up one or two books, flipped through the pages and then put them back on the shelves. 

After some deliberation, Mr Seow would sit on the large sofa chair right in the middle of the hall, next to the television. The television was not meant for watching. As if it were, it would be placed in front of the sofa. You couldn’t really catch what was going on the screen, as you have to turn your head sideways. Charmaine never bothered to turn on the television as it did not interest her much. The world did not revolve around her, so that she did not depend on the current affairs to conduct herself. 

She was just a regular ancient figure. 

Chapter 6

Living alone was difficult and painful. You needed to turn on the lights yourself, you needed to put the clothes in the washing machine and sun them yourself, and you couldn’t make the toilet dirty because you would be the person who would have to clean it up subsequently. 

Yes, Jacintha and Charmaine still kept in touch even after Mary their mother passed. They were half-sisters not because their Dad married twice, as was usually the case, but were so related because Mom Mary remarried after divorcing her first husband. 

Jacintha was older than Charmaine, so you could guess that Charmaine was the product of Mary’s second marriage. It was assumed that Mary was also properly married the second time, as she never did divulge the details of her second marriage nor showed him any evidence of her betrayal to David Seow. He looked very much the same now, according to the photograph on the wall. 

Charmaine’s family was small. David Seow never bought her any presents throughout her life, but he always gave Charmaine one of those bear hugs, which was more than sufficient. Mom never hugged her. 

Chapter 7

No, they need not dress for dinner. 

Neither Jacintha nor Charmaine made any special effort to go down in the day. They just appeared at the dining table at 7:00 p.m. precisely as the wall clock chimed. And then one of them would start the meal without further reference to the other. 

If one of them was done she would leave the dining table and proceeded upstairs, back to where she came from. 

And then Elsie would come in the next morning to remove the used plates and unfinished food. 

Chapter 8

When you have a step-sister and one of your parents have another family you would always be wondering if you had been treated fairly. Charmaine never saw Jacintha nor met with her during the time that Mom was alive. 

Jacintha Chin was tall, slim and beautiful. The only thing Charmaine liked about her was the fact that she was flat chested, as that made her less attractive. 

Apart from that they were not very different. Their habits were the same – they used the fork and spoon rather than the chopsticks, and they both drank water from the tap. Mom had promised them that they would never get poisoned by drinking water from the tap. 

Their tastes in clothes were similar, they liked the loose fitting flared dresses without the sash to make them look thinner than they should. And they liked the court shoes so that they need not bother about having to have their toe-nails painted. Apart from that they both liked earrings. 

Charmaine was shorter than Jacintha, and she suspected that it had a lot to do with the genes. David Seow was short but not shorter than Mary. Dad was also very dark skinned. Charmaine always wondered if he were overheated by the sun, or if it were just his skin pigmentation. No one knew and she never dared ask.

Chapter 9

Charmaine saw George again. She could see his skeleton, shaped like a dinosaur. He was older now so his frame was slightly bent and his legs were also crocked making him look awkward. Charmaine stood from a distance and she stared at him. His eyes did not look at her so maybe he could not see her. 

Tonight, George sat opposite Charmaine. Charmaine started eating first for it has never been the habit for all of them to be eating together. He picked at the pickles. And then the sweet and sour pork. Charmaine let him eat. And she noticed that he also liked the chicken curry. She kept quiet, waited for him to say something. 

Charmaine was in her pyjamas and so she decided not to draw George’s attention to her. Once David Seow went to the television, she walked up the stairs to go back to her room. As she entered, the radio was playing, “perfect situations must go wrong,”. Charmaine let the atmosphere created by the song to dominate the entire night. 

Chapter 10

The leaves in the garden were creeping up the trellis so that the place was looking more habitable again. Charmaine was going into the garden more often nowadays as she became more mobile after the Hokkien Mee, for reasons unknown. The sky was also getting darker earlier than usual. She marvelled at the speed with which the sun set. It turned crimson red and then within seconds it turned purple blue. 

As she stood outside on the balcony she saw that George’s white car was no longer in the porch. Charmaine was unhappy that he left so soon. He could have waited for David Seow to come up to see her first before leaving the scene. 

Charmaine became incensed and so she went down again. 

She saw George with a beer can. At first she was surprised that he was still in the house, then she took the beer can away and threw it on the floor spilling the entire place with beer. Dad gave a loud cry and walked to the television to turn it off. It was only then that Charmaine realised that neither one of them could not see that she was there. 

Charmaine wanted to turn on the lights, but she never knew where the switch was, so that she almost slipped over the beer. But thank God she didn’t bleed. She went to the backyard to pick up a broom and started to sweep the floor. There was no dustpan so that she swept the pieces randomly from one corner to another. Charmaine was not very good at that and after a while she gave up. 

She remembered that the radio was turned on upstairs, so she quickly left the chore and went upstairs again. No, there wasn’t a radio broadcasting fee and she wasn’t concerned about that.

Chapter 11

Charmaine had just changed out of her clothes to bathe and the doorbell rang. It must have been George as only he knew that she lived there. She went down in her towel. 

“Listen, you have to move,” 

“Why?” Charmaine asked, using her left hand to hold the towel. 

“They found you,” 

“Nobody came last night,” she said. She forgot that he was here. 

George held out a certificate. It said: 

Certificate of Title: Volume 419 Folio 157 Land Lot No: Mk2-2343N 

Charmaine stared at it, unable to comprehend. Charmaine has lived here for more than three years. 

“Shall I pack my things tonight?” she asked George. Even though she only had my three pieces of clothes, the towel and the radio. 

George was not satisfied. He stood at the threshold. Charmaine moved away to let him come in. He did not bother to take off his shoes, and as he walked in he brought traces of mud. This time she knew where the mop was. Once he left I will mop the floor, Charmaine told myself. 

In Real Time 

Chapter 12

Elsie gave George his regular brew with milk and sugar and let him sit there until he was satisfied. Usually he took fifteen minutes to finish his coffee. Elsie always gave him his usual cup with the pattern of a house and a man standing next to the house. Once he finished his coffee he stood up to leave. Elsie was relieved that he offered no other conversation. 

If Elsie had fallen for George, you could not blame her. Any good looking man would attract some sort of admiration from the opposite sex. 

Elsie always made sure that the front door was opened before 7:00 p.m. when George would arrive in his white car. And she would turn on the television without delay so that George could enjoy the news whilst having his dinner. 

Chapter 13

The sky was dark and cloudy. Something sinister was brewing. But that has nothing to do with the sky. It was regarding the state of affairs at the Providence Hill.

Mr Seow, Elsie, Jacintha and Charmaine were going to have to leave. 

Elsie was concerned about the chattels, the picture of Mr Seow on the wall, as well as the silverware and glass objects inside the cabinet. Apart from that, the books were also Jacintha’s property. 

She couldn’t lug them around, and even with a large suitcase she couldn’t manage. She needed a mover. But she couldn’t engage one as Mr Seow had not given any idea where they were going to. 

George had never seen Jacintha. He was always here for a short while. Once he saw that Charmaine had eaten he would use his hand phone to get his driver to come around to pick him up. I think they call it Grab nowadays, or was it Uber? 

The Spirits are Alive 

Chapter 14

Charmaine has made up her mind to buy the red dress. 

So that she went ahead and took the money from the bureau and then she put it carefully inside her wallet. 

The salesman was not surprised that Charmaine came back for the purchase. 

And so after the purchase Charmaine was waiting for a chance to wear it. She looked at the calendar in the wall. The Chinese New Year was around the corner and traditionally this was the day where people wore that colour. She tried it on in front of the only full-length mirror in the house, just putting it in front of her body. 

And then Charmaine saw George again. George came up to the room to look for her. 

His face was gaunt, his cheeks sunken, she had no idea if it were due to fair wear and tear. The entire image was that of a very broken man. Charmaine let him stand there behind her. She knew that he could not see her. And she wondered if he could see the dress she was holding. 

Quietly she moved away. Charmaine threw the red dress onto the bed and she went in to take a shower. Minutes later she was refreshed again. Charmaine took the bottle of Estee Lauder “Pleasures” moisturiser she found on the bed and applied some on herself. She was quite satisfied that when she came out, George had left. 

Chapter 15

Charmaine sat on the sofa next to the bed. The radio station was using the same announcer. She was quite used to her by now. Her songs were modern nostalgia and the lyrics were clear so that it was easy to follow. Charmaine took a long time to find out that her favourite song was “Everybody Loves Somebody Somehow” an oldie. 

If she wanted company Charmaine would look for Jacintha. Jacintha was just next door. 

Knock, knock. Jacintha opened the door. 

“It’s you again, what do you want?” very unfriendly. 

“I want to know if you are ready to move,” Charmaine asked. 

“Of course not,” Jacintha replied, and then she asked, 

“Have you found accommodation?” 

“No,” “I am hoping that we would still be staying together,” Charmaine said. 

“That’s for sure,” Jacintha said. 

“Then two rooms?” Charmaine asked. 

“Yup,” and then promptly Jacintha closed the door on her.

Chapter 16

“It is ok to talk about yesterday today. But please do not complain about what I did to you three years ago,” George said to Charmaine this morning. She let him finish what he wanted to say all at one go without interrupting. 

Again, today George asked Charmaine to move out. 

Charmaine had no reason to stay except that she had nowhere else to move to. She stood firm, telling George that it was all a pack of lies. How could this house be a graveyard?! They had a roof, a garden, dilapidated it may be, as well as a garage, for George to park his car every time he came by. 

Minutes later Charmaine heard George’s car zoom out of the garage. 

Immediately she went in to change back into her pyjamas to prepare for another sleepless night. She could see that the moon was right in the middle of the sky. With no clouds she was sure that it was not going to rain tonight. Charmaine didn’t know how to call the weatherman, so she was basically using the clouds to read the forecast. 

She dreaded the thought of changing location. She was told that for herself someone born in the year of the rat, she must enter her house from the north, meaning that the front door must face west. She has ascertained that her current abode faces west, so that the windows on the opposite side of the door got the morning sun. 

Chapter 17

The weather outside looked good, so that Charmaine took her steps out gingerly. She guessed she wasn’t concentrating so that she tripped over a beer can and fell flat onto the ground, her knee blead as though someone had used a knife to scratch at it. 

Charmaine did not feel any pain, only the sight of blood frightened her. Quickly she made her way back to the house and went into the toilet, found some antiseptic lotion and she used it to clean the wound, then she covered the area with a plaster. They have transparent plasters to conceal the ugliness of the bandage. 

Charmaine laughed at her own carelessness and was glad that no one saw her. As she was having her dinner – Hokkien Mee tonight – Charmaine thought of Jacintha. She was not at the dining table. 

Jacintha was thin framed very small sized and a 35. Charmaine always marvelled at the way she put herself together – a black cardigan and a pair of back sandals with dark red nail polish. 

Whenever she did not appear at the dining table, it meant that she was sick, or that she was having one of her moods again. Charmaine could hear Jacintha blowing her nose loudly which often made her wonder if she had enough tissue paper to take care of all that mucus. 

In Real Time 

Chapter 18

Elsie always used a wet cloth to clean the shrine. She would dap some Dettol and rinse the cloth under tap water leaving half of it dry. It gave the entire place a sanitised smell as though she was in a hospital. 

She found some plaster tore open and a bottle of antiseptic lotion on the table and was wondering where it came from. Nevertheless, she brought them to the dustbin to dispose of them. 

Afterwards she went to the shelf and got herself a can of beer. It always quenched her thirst. But now they didn’t look the same. She found three bottles missing so that she started counting them again. And then finally she was satisfied that someone had come in and taken the three missing bottles. There was no other explanation to it except that George had taken it. 

“Mr Seow will be back later,” Elsie told herself. And she quickly went up to the switch box to turn on the lights – one at a time – until the last one was on. Then quietly she went to the refrigerator to get herself a yoghurt. There were only two left, and she realised that she had to go to the supermarket tomorrow. 

Elsie was the only one who stayed here apart from Mr Seow. This was not her home originally. In the beginning she was a little uncomfortable here, but she knew of no other relations apart from Mr Seow after her parents passed away and he offered her this abode. 

The world was as it should be – lonely. Elsie was coming to her fourth year, and she quite cherished the comfort of tranquil existence. No noise from the traffic outside and no one to come in here to order her around. Her previous job at the supermarket was tough. The supermarket was always swamping with people. She was the main cashier and often having to account for the shortfalls made by the other staff. 

Mr Seow did not disturb her. Though his room was untidy at times, he never expected Elsie to clean it up. Whenever he ate at home, he always brought his dishes to the sink at the back to wash up, before retiring back into his own room. 

Elsie has no complaints about this place, except that Gemma barked somewhat too often. When the dog did so, Elsie often thought that there were other people in the house. She would get up to survey the situation, but that no one was there, which was very frustrating. This happened usually at dinner time when George was here. 

Mr Seow was a middle-aged man with no immediate family. He occupied the room downstairs, and no one was allowed to go in unless it was a Sunday. Elsie didn’t know why Sunday, but she guessed it has something to do with the fact that on Sunday Mr Seow usually went out. 

Apart from Mr Seow Elsie had no other boss. And so, Elsie attended to Mr Seow with trepidation and a kind of assiduousness that was quite uncommon. 

There was no one to evaluate Elise’s job performance. And Mr Seow wasn’t doing it either. Elsie did her chores at her own whims and fancy, depending on how she felt. She took no money from Mr Seow so she wasn’t a salaried worker. Occasionally Mr Seow would put some money on the bureau and Elsie took it as money for the groceries and other household expenditure. 

In the way when Mr Seow was not in, apart from looking after the premises Elsie would look after Gemma the dog. Gemma was a silky terrier, a bitch and was adopted by Mr Seow. 

After the freshening up, Elsie distinctly looked better. Even she herself was surprised at how presentable she could be. Then she went into the garage to take out an umbrella and walked out to the main road to catch herself a taxi. 

Traffic was not heavy in this area, and she waited for quite some time before the taxi came. 

Chapter 19

It was not easy to understand why dogs barked – what they saw and what they perceived about the environment. But when they barked, it was a clear sign that someone else was there, although sometimes it could be for no apparent reason. 

Minutes later Elsie heard George coming in. You couldn’t mistake him for anyone else as he always announced his arrival with a loud hello. Elsie didn’t object to George’s arrival except that whenever he was here he talked to himself. She couldn’t say if he also behaved likewise when he was outside. 

Elsie was not a detective, neither was she an inquisitive person by nature. Gemma did not bark when George arrived – he was a regular guest – but the dog started to bark regularly at 7:00 p.m. when food was placed on the shrine. It was meant for the gods. 

Elsie took the dish away when she was satisfied that the gods have had a feast.

Chapter 20

It has been raining heavily so that Elsie wasn’t able to walk Gemma. She opened the black door hoping that he will do his business outside at the fence. But instead of which he peed at the door frame. The door frame was already half rotten with pieces of wood peeling off. 

Chapter 21

You could say that because of the rain, all of them were cooped up in the house, so that something was brewing in the mist. George arrived at 7:00 p.m. as usual, with Gemma announcing the guest’s presence. 

“Shall I take off my shoes?” George asked casually as he walked in with his shoes. There were traces of mud on where he walked. Elsie gasped at the dirt he brought in and she almost shouted a No out loud. But George didn’t listen to her. He brought a bouquet of flowers with him and he found empty vase by the sink, then he ripped off the wrapping paper and placed the flowers in the vase and turned on the tap to fill up some water. He took the vase and placed it on top of the shrine. The light was always on at the shrine. Elsie guess that whoever he was praying to, appreciated the flowers. 

“Charmaine, if you could forgive me, today is the third anniversary of your death,” 

“I am sure that Jacintha is in good hands now, the Lord has told me,” 

There was complete silence as George spoke. We waited for him to continue … 

“Since you died, my life has been in shakers, everything has gone down the drain, I am no longer the man that you used to know,” 

“I stopped going to the office, and I stopped sailing, the activity that kept me alive,” 

Mr Seow was at the dining table, and Elsie was laying out the dishes for him … 

“If you can hear me, please come and take one stock of rose from the vase,” George was getting insane. 

Elsie saw that George’s eyes were closed as he was fully concentrating. She went up to the vase and took one stem of rose away. And then she placed it on the dining table. 

“I have not slept since the day you left,” George was still pleading with Charmaine. Charmaine was nowhere to be found. 

And then his eyes opened, he saw the stem on the dining table where Mr Seow was having his dinner. George was overjoyed. He came up to Mr Seow and started sharing the meal with him. Mr Seow wanted to know how much George paid for the bouquet, so he asked him, 

“How much did you spend?” 

“… around eighty dollars,” George said. 

“… and the flower girl was giving me a discount,” he lamented. 

“How much money are you left with now?” Mr Seow asked George. 

“Less than ten thousand dollars,” George replied. 

“How are you going to carry on, the rental and all that,” Mr Seow asked him again. 

“I don’t know, was hoping to strike the lottery,” George said. 

“That is most unreliable,” Mr Seow concluded. 

With that, Mr Seow took his dinner plate to the kitchen to wash and Elsie quickly moved in to clear away the rest of the dishes. 

The Past 

Chapter 22

No one knew that George was talking to Charmaine. And no one knew that George was engaged to Jacintha before Jacintha died. Jacintha died of a broken heart. That’s what they all said. True. Charmaine was the one who knew it best. Jacintha was in love with George and that was how Charmaine was introduced to George. But when George saw Charmaine, he fell in love with her. 

Charmaine was not particularly pretty, neither did she have a good figure. But it was the topics of conversation, the things that interested them both. They shared the same tastes in food, wine and paintings. And most of all they have the same sense of humour. They laughed at the same old silly jokes. And then they enjoyed the same music and read the same authors. It was love at first sight. George and Charmaine did not hesitate to exchange cell phone numbers before they parted company. And minutes later Charmaine received his text “let’s make it again next weekend,” on her WhatsApp. 

Afterwards Charmaine broke the news to Jacintha: 

“George and I slept,” 

“George loves me and not you.” 

Jacintha listened, then she saw the engagement ring on Charmaine’s finger, so that she knew that it was the truth. But of course, it could have been any other ring, bought from a flea market. But Jacintha believed her. 

Once Jacintha started drinking there was no turning back. Charmaine saw the number of emptied wine bottles lined up outside her bedroom door. She knew that Jacintha needed her to break up with George. But she wanted George. George was hers since the day she met him. Charmaine didn’t want to be the loser. 

In Real Time 

Chapter 23

George came today. Without the bouquet. Elsie heard George talking to himself again and remarked to Mr Seow that this man was going insane. Mr Seow ignored her comments and went about his own business. In the end, George left a note behind on the table to tell them that he wasn’t coming anymore: 

“Dear Mr Seow and company, I have found another life …. I would be back again someday …. If all goes well …. The flower girl ….” 

Chapter 24

Wendy sold flowers to pass time, not as a means to earn a living. When George appeared, she could see that he needed money. George was good looking, and for an old maid, Wendy had to act fast. On his second time around at her shop, she asked him if he would want to move in with her. 

“A small ceremony will do. I don’t need any guests,” was what she said to George. 

And so it happened, like in a fairy tale. 

On the wedding night, with only the solemniser to witness the vows in the day, George told Wendy that she only condition for being his wife was that she must answer to the name Charmaine. 

“My name is Wendy, not Charmaine.” Wendy said. 

“And my name is Peter.” George said. 

“Huh? I thought you said you were George?” Wendy asked. 

“And I thought you were Charmaine.” George answered.

With that, George asked Wendy if she would go to a house with him, to meet with a lady by the name of Jacintha. 

“And who is this Jacintha?” Wendy asked. 

“Your sister. You can’t remember?” George said. 

It was an old bungalow with only the two of them – Mr Seow and Elsie – naturally the entire place was rusty if not mouldy. You could smell the grass creeping up the walls and if you went closer, you might catch one or two worms. 

Wendy fell in love with the house and her owner. She told herself that she would not give up anything else for this. In her mind she had decided that she wanted to live here with George. She would allow herself to be Charmaine. 

When they were both upstairs, George picked up the red dress on the bed and told Wendy to put it on. She sensed that it was what he liked. It was expensive, and Wendy could see it. 

When Wendy put on the red dress, it fitted her perfectly. The dress had red flowers sewn all over, and she was surprised that George found it for her. 

“That’s a nice dress,” George said as he saw Wendy. 

“Weather is so hot. And what perfume is that you are wearing? George commented. 

“Pleasures by Estée Lauder.” Wendy replied. And then she walked down the stairs, George could hear her sandals making its way to the altar. 

Downstairs at the dining room Mr Seow saw Wendy put the flowers in a vase and running some water over them and filling up the vase. He saw the Hokkien Mee which Elsie had bought and placed it on the dining table. Afterwards Wendy came to join them for dinner. 

They sat there and waited for George to come down to join them.

The Past 

Chapter 25

Jacintha died of an overdose. She took sleeping pills with too much alcohol. 

When the news of Jacintha’s death was broken to George, George was having a candle light dinner with Charmaine. It was Charmaine’s birthday. She wore a white dress with lots of frills as she was expecting George to propose that evening. George in fact did have an engagement ring hidden in his breast pocket. But a phone call came in. 

“Hello, is this Mr George Tan?” 

“Yes, this is he speaking, may I help you?” 

“Do you know this lady by the name of Jacintha Chin?” 

“Err, yes, but not very well,” George said. 

“She just died, we called you because we found s suicide note with your telephone number on it,” 

“WHAT?!” 

“Where is she now?” George asked. 

“The police had taken over the scene, I think it best you left them alone,” 

George prolonged the dinner party with Charmaine and made sure that if the police contacted her he would be in the know. They must end their investigation soon, he thought to himself. 

And then he remembered the ring in his pocket. He took it out and gave it to Charmaine, 

“Jacintha, would you marry me?” George said. 

Charmaine, too eager to marry George, ignored the mistake. 

Who cared if he called me Jacintha or Charmaine? It is I who would wear the ring. It is I whom he was engaged to. She didn’t know that Jacintha was dead. 

You would think that Charmaine and George would end happily ever after now that Jacintha was out of the way. No, one day Charmaine corrected George when he called her Jacintha repeatedly. 

“I think I must correct you once and for all. My name is Charmaine and I am not Jacintha,” Charmaine said. 

“That was the condition upon which you married me!” George said. 

“Says who?” Charmaine tried to argue. 

George never told Charmaine about the phone call on the engagement night, and Charmaine had no means of knowing it. George had been too much. She tolerated it for too long. How could he be calling me Jacintha all the time? What was wrong with this man? Charmaine was so incensed by George that she ran out in the pouring rain. 

Half an hour later, George received a telephone call from the police, 

“Are you Mr George Tan?” the voice was solemn and clear. 

“Yes?” George half expected the bad news. They all sounded alike. 

“Your wife Charmaine had just net with an accident, am afraid that she didn’t make it,” 

“We are very sorry, and we need you to go to the mortuary to identify the body,” the voice on the other side gave him a few seconds to register. 

The Theory 

Chapter 26

They said that after you died, you were reborn again. You came back as someone else, but that the past was erased from your memory and you couldn’t God damn remember whom you used to be. 

If you believed in Buddhism, then the theory of reincarnation meant that Jacintha was reborn into Charmaine, then Charmaine into Wendy. But if you did not so believe, because you were a Christian, then George Tan was crazy. 

Or was it entirely George in the making?

Are you behind the door?

Chapter 1

The words of a dying person always took precedence over a living person. The reason being that that was probably the last thing he would have to say to you. But how would you know? 

Over the years, I have collected words said by Rosemary, meaningful things that she said to me and words of sentimental value. You could not say that I wasn’t close to my sister. 

And when someone was dying there were usually a lot of visitors. They were kind and wanted to offer help and prayers were usually made. 

I remembered the day very clearly. 

I came back, walked passed the amour of people gathered together, taking the carved wooden staircase curving to the upper floor to look for Rosemary as usual. Their heads were bent around the small statue of Mother Mary with a candle lit by the side. The combined effect of their prayers was loud enough for me to know what the gist of their petition was. They were praying for world peace. As usual. 

I took the steps up the carved wooden staircase to the bedroom to discharge my belongings and to freshen up before I came down again, as was usually the case. The bedroom door was ajar. I could see some light coming from inside. That meant that Rosemary was still awake. 

There was no sound. Usually Rosemary would greet me the minute I walked in. 

Surprised by the silence, I continued on my way, leaving my bag on the chair and taking off my watch. Rosemary was not in the bedroom, so I walked to the bathroom to check in on her. I saw that the water was full, and I could see a body lying inside. Hold it, it was Rosemary! 

Shocked, I went up further and then I found her entire body submerged in the water. There were some bubbles coming out from her mouth indicating that she was still breathing. It took me ten seconds to realize that I mustn’t pick up Rosemary’s body to allow her to breath properly. 

I let her lie there and I decided it best not to disturb her. She was at one of her spa baths again. Rosemary spas herself at least once a week.

I knew Rosemary. She did not like to be disturbed if she was in a spa or sauna. Fifteen minutes later I went in there to look for her again. There were no more bubbles coming up from her mouth. 

I was always at Rosemary’s beck and call. She told me what to do in the mornings and usually the first thing that I did when I woke up in the mornings was to ring her although we stayed in the same house. 

Five minutes later I heard the shower. Rosemary had finished her spa bath. I was quite happy for that, as that meant that she could go out for dinner with me. I didn’t eat with the rest downstairs. I dreaded the food.

I always got a very lull, full stomach after eating, which made me very lethargic. The buffet spread was always too much for the guests and the kitchen had to finish it within the day, before the food turned sour. 

I was not a greedy person by nature. And I didn’t liked food. 

Chapter 2

As a walked out of the room, I saw the medicine by the side. Rosemary suffered from depression and she needed those pills to help her sleep. And then I saw a note on the dressing table. Could Rosemary have left a suicide note? If it were so, then it best that it be kept until after investigations were over. The beneficiary was usually the first suspect. Although I did not kill her, I was the only beneficiary to her estate. 

When you have committed murder, you would want to be away from the scene of the crime as quickly and as far away as possible. But when you were not the direct cause of death, and you didn’t know who and how the death arose, you became unsure of whether you should report the matter. Any act committed by you could be misinterpreted and you might be called upon to give testimony, which might become incriminating. 

I decided to look at what the note said: 

I, Rosemary Chan Lay Geok, of NRIC S7508748C, hereby leaves my property at this address the Hamlet Mansion, to Johnny Wong Keng Hock. Could I get a lawyer and produce the document in court now? 

Oh my God! In Rosemary own handwriting, she said that she wanted to give all her money to Johnny her God son!!

There must be some mistake! I rushed into the bathroom again hoping to revive Rosemary in order to confront her. She might not be dead as it could just be a mistake. And then I saw her face – a pale green. 

The note I held in my hand if found on my body would disinherit or exonerate me. However there was no signature to it. But of course anyone who knew Rosemary’s handwriting would know that she wrote it. 

I knew that I must leave the room now to go downstairs. I could not report the death of Rosemary as I was the sole beneficiary and the beneficiary was usually the prime suspect. Apart from that suicide is almost impossible to prove without a suicide note. I could not produce the note as it declared Johnny as the beneficiary instead of me, her sibling and the only next-of-kin. 

I took time to compose myself, and then I walked down the steps wondering if and how to break the news to the rest of the crowd downstairs. 

Chapter 3

As I was saying the rosary I was still calm about the whole thing. Jasmine was at the third decade when I sat down, so that I quickly joined in to continue from there. Jasmine was a cashier at the Bank of Kuwait and married with two sons. 

As far as I knew, nothing bad would happen to you if you missed one or two decades of the rosary, although most Catholics do all the five decades once a day. I tried my best at the task but was not able to pick a suitable time every day. 

After Jasmine, Jimmy spoke. Jimmy is Jasmine’s husband. We waited for him to finish his petition, then we continued with the fourth decade. “Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed are you amongst women, and ….” 

All along I was planning my escape route. I knew that the last person who saw the deceased would be called for questioning. I have nothing to fear from investigating officers except that the suicide note was with me and that I could have picked Rosemary up immediately upon seeing her in the bathtub. 

Now the shock of seeing Rosemary in the bathtub and then having to be detained in the same house made it altogether very difficult. 

And then Keith prayed, “Let God heal Rosemary Chan’s cancer, let the pain go away, and let God heal her wounds, …. Rosemary was only thirty-six, it was not time for her to die yet …. “. Keith was the other regular who owns an interior designing company. 

I wanted to stop Keith on the spot, I have material information which might discredit his prayer. But that I didn’t want to mention it now. I could not declare Rosemary’s death until the doctor came and put his stamp on a piece of paper. I could not say anything until I have destroyed the suicide note. 

I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was deep in prayers. I was considerably stressed by now. I wanted to leave the group to go to the kitchen to get myself some water. None of them were looking at me. And I was unsure when I should take my leave. I needed to be around to see to the whole thing, and to turn up at the right time to claim my inheritance. 

Chapter 4

Rosemary was dead! I wanted to tell the crowd. Stop these incessant irrelevant prayers on her. But at the same time I knew that I had to remain silent. I needed someone else to tell me that he saw her dead body. So I waited. Calmness was a virtue. I remembered Rosemary telling me that I must be calm under all circumstances. I let Mei Lim pray what she wanted to petition for and I continued with the act. Mei Lim was Keith’s wife and a housewife. 

All the time I was wondering if I should pretend to be ignorant. The water I drank was ice water so that I sneezed. The circumstances that led to Rosemary’s drowning was still unknown. I still couldn’t say for sure if she were dead as I only saw her fleetingly. I have never seen a dead body before and I really wondered if I should drop everyone here downstairs and went up to check on her. I pondered on the thought, and then I decided to keep numb about the whole thing. 

And then suddenly Damien asked, “Where’s Rosemary? Haven’t seen her for quite a while.” I knew that I must say something by now. Silence was not good for the soul. Automatically I said, “she’s upstairs,” a non-committal statement which did not say one way or the other. I could conclude that Rosemary was upstairs without having seen her, as if she were at home she was likely to be upstairs. Her car was parked at the garage. Anyone could see that.

Chapter 5

From the corner of my eye I saw Johnny going up the stairs. Not that Johnny could not go up, but that there was a dead body in that part of the house. If Johnny walked into the bathroom and saw Rosemary lying in the bathtub he would alert everyone here. So far I didn’t want news of Rosemary dying spread around. My reasons were simple: I have not procured a copy of her Will yet. I was her sister her next-of-kin and she could even have drafted a Will on favour of Johnny already. 

At the same time, I could not stop Johnny from going up to look for Rosemary. With quick thinking I shouted after Johnny, 

“Wait, Rosemary is coming down,” 

“Oh, I was just going up to get my jacket,” Johnny said. 

“Rosemary will be down soon,” I replied. 

I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop Johnny from going upstairs. In the meantime, the rest were at the Mysteries. I let the combined effect of the prayers settled my anxiety. Then I told the crowd, 

“Rosemary and I have decided to go for a holiday,” 

“Oh good, where?” Keith asked. 

This piece of news was neither here nor there, and normally announced when both parties were present. But I felt that I must make known the bond between Rosemary and myself before anyone else interfered. Everyone looked at me with a question on their face, and again they asked, “where is Rosemary?” I saw that and I quickly added, 

“Oh, we decided on this yesterday,” and in order to give credence to my words, I added, 

“Over dinner at The Bar last night,” 

“Where is Rosemary?” again someone said. 

“Rosemary is upstairs, she will be coming down soon,” this would refute any allegations that I might have been the one who killed her, since I was ignorant of her passing. 

And then I heard a loud cry. It must have been Johnny’s for only he was upstairs. Minutes later we saw him rush down the stairs.

“Oh my God!” he cried. 

“What’s wrong?” the prayer leader Damien said. 

“Nooooo ….” Johnny stammered. 

I was waiting for him to declare that Rosemary was dead, and true enough he did. 

“Rosemary is lying in the bath, unconscious,” he said. 

“Are you sure?” Damien the leader of the fellowship asked. “Her face was green!” Johnny said. 

“No, Rosemary wasn’t dead,” I blurted out. The image of her blowing bubbles in the water from her mouth still eluded me. 

“You saw her?” Daniel, who hardly spoke, asked. Daniel is the younger brother of Damien. 

“Yup, Err, …. when I had dinner with her last night,” I said. 

“I thought I saw you go up just now?” Jimmy said. 

“No,” I had to say that. I didn’t want anyone to say that I killed her. Fact was that I didn’t. If she died, then she killed herself. No one asked her to do the spa bath. 

Chapter 6

Rosemary came back last night. I could hear her talking to me. 

“Where is my bag?” she asked.

“Bag?” 

“Yes, the one that I always carried with me,” she said. 

“I don’t see it anymore,” I didn’t want to say that I had given it away. 

I still missed Rosemary a lot, so that I continued talking to her … 

The next morning, I woke up before dawn, as though I had been awake all the while in another dimension. 

In the morning in my pyjamas I had my usual Americano coffee for breakfast. And I asked for my cold milk as usual. The waiter brought me hot milk. I wanted to yell at him. But Rosemary told me to pardon him, “be more tolerant,” she said. I waited a long while before I could finish the coffee as it had to take time to chill out to room temperature. 

Strange that Rosemary was still talking to me. I wondered if she knew that I could not see her. 

Chapter 7

Over the week, my most imminent and pertinent question was whether I should show the suicide note. I procured it under circumstances which I did not want to reveal. If Rosemary didn’t die in the bathtub, then the note has no meaning at all. It could just be an expression of thought and contents therein could be changed at any time. 

But if the note was written just before she died, then it would be construed as a Will, as it contained directions as to how her property, this house that we are sitting on, should be dealt with. I was no legal expert, but I knew a thing or two. So, shall I tell the crowd that I went up to see Rosemary shortly before she died? Assuming that she was drown in the bathtub before Johnny went up to see her. 

At the same time, I wondered if Johnny had seen the note before I went up. If he had seen it, chances are the that he would have kept it. 

I decided to consult Louis about this. 

Louis my fiancée was a lawyer and also Rosemary’s spiritual counsellor. If Rosemary had made any Will she would have asked him to draft it. I made a photocopy of the note and kept the original. 

Louis did not think twice before he told me to write a cheque for three thousand dollars. 

“For that I will ensure that the property would be in your name.” 

“Thank you, Louis,” was all that I could say. 

At least I got some reassurance and I was feeling much better. Then I left the office to go to Kentucky Fried Chicken for some chicken wings. But I couldn’t help thinking of Rosemary’s face in the bathtub and I was sure that no one else went up to see her after I came down and before Johnny went up. 

I, Alicia Chan Lay Cheng, being the only next-of-kin made me the rightful owner to the title by default. The house was mine! To claim what was mine wasn’t wrong, despite the note on the dressing table suggesting that the house was to be Johnny’s. 

Chapter 8

Louis rang me today and told me to go to his office. “A Will must be witnessed by two persons,” he looked at me and said. Then he paused and further added, “I could give it retrospective effect,” 

“after all, I was her spiritual counsellor, it is not inconceivable that she looks for me,” he continued, 

“I would be the one who dated it as well,” further on he said. 

“Put it as 8 May.” I blurted out. 

“Huh? That was the day that she died, isn’t it?” Louis asked. 

“Err, yes, she wrote it the day she died,” I said. 

“How did you know?” Louis was as sharp as a leopard, I guess all lawyers were. 

“She must have written it before she died, it makes sense,” I said, getting a little bit nervous. 

“I know you didn’t kill her, she died of suffocation – to be precise, drowning by water.” Louis vouched for my innocence. 

“How long do you think I have to wait?” I asked. It is normal to be impatient under such circumstances, to want to get it all done away with. 

“Perhaps, two, three weeks, depending on the Court calendar,” Louis said. 

“But wait! Who did Rosemary leave the money to in her actual Will?” I almost forgot to ask Louis.

Chapter 9

It was not unnatural to miss a person after she has gone away, and it was helpful to keep one or two of her items as mementos. I began thinking of what items I must take from Rosemary. Rosemary had a large collection of jewellery and I particularly liked the red pendant. She wore it whenever she was in a good mood. And I have been out with her on several of those occasions. I also liked the one that I strung for her – I learnt the technique from a Japanese lady. But that piece didn’t seem to be around. Perhaps she had kept it in another box. 

I was there on the day of the wake, which was held in the living room downstairs. Rosemary’s coffin was placed directly in front of the marble fireplace the unmistakable stamp of the occupant when she was alive. What was uncommon was the fact that Johnny wasn’t there. Johnny was her God son, and if not for anything else, he was the one that found her dead. I had to frame Johnny so that it looked as though he had killed Rosemary. 

Whilst everyone was saying their prayers, I tip-toed upstairs. Half way through the steps, I saw the pair of slippers that Rosemary used to wear, still boldly displayed as though the owner would come back and claim it anytime. I picked it up from the steps – an automatic reflex, then I heard Rosemary said, 

“Hey, put it on, see if it fits you,” the voice unmistakably hers. 

So then I put it on. 

I took another bold step, this time all the way up to the landing. As I reached the top, I took a look down and saw that everyone was deep in prayers. No one would have seen me. 

The bedroom door was ajar, and I didn’t think that anyone was inside. In any case I took a calculated risk, if found I could just say that I wanted to use the toilet and that the toilet in my room was wet. 

True enough, no one was inside the bedroom. I was here at the right time. I glanced around and naturally arrived at the drawing table. There was a small jewellery box and I opened it. A large Peranakan broach was staring at me and I was surprised at how large the diamonds were. I never saw Rosemary wearing that! 

I grabbed the broach and quickly put it inside my pocket. And then having taken such an expensive item I was quite satisfied. I told myself not to be greedy. This diamond broach could fetch at least twelve thousand dollars in the black market. 

Without a sound I walked out of the bedroom, down the stairs where the muffled sound of the combined prayers continued to occupy the hot and sultry night. I came home by car, but I offered no one a lift and I drove straight out of the quiet prayerful night of Hamlet Mansion into another scene where Louis my fiancée had agreed to meet with me …. 

I had forgotten to take off the pair of slippers. My Ferragamo shoes were left behind. 

Chapter 10

Sergeant Jacob called me today. I had expected the call. Having been at the scene of the death I was bound to be questioned. The only problem was that I had to lie. I didn’t want to give the impression that I was the last to go upstairs, but that I thought it better to surrender the suicide note in case I became the suspect. I had to refute any allegation that I killed Rosemary. 

For every wrong doing there must be an accomplice. This usually gave the culprit a sense of security and a certain amount of reassurance that he could get away with what he was doing, be it right or wrong. This person we called him an alibi. 

Louis was my alibi and very helpful as he knew the law. 

“You could tell the Police that there was a suicide note. Pretend that you had seen it on the bed, just beside where she was lying when she slept. After all, you were living with her, weren’t you?” Louis said. 

“Yup, so I should say that I found it well before she died?” I asked innocently. 

“Yes, of course!” Louis was at the top of his voice. 

“And then date it the day after she made her Will,” I continued, trying to be calm. 

“You still haven’t told me who Rosemary left her money to in the Will,” I said, “I was the next-of-kin the beneficiary by default.” I emphasized. 

“Then you wait for the Police to pit the evidence on the crime scene,” Louis further advised. 

We must act rationally. But at some point-in-time we have to do something which might turn the tide in our favour. Louis my fiancée was my confidant. I have not told Rosemary about our relationship as I knew that Rosemary was also interested in him. 

Although Rosemary and I were sisters, we didn’t look very much alike. Rosemary was shorter, and she kept short hair, whereas I liked to keep my hair long, tied in a bun. Also, I never wore pants except for a pair of jeans. I would say that on the whole I looked more attractive than Rosemary. However, that was merely my opinion. Louis has never made any comment about my looks which was something I was most unhappy about. 

Chapter 11

I went to his office every time I saw Louis. 

I would stop at the drop off point at Tower 3, walked up the escalator to the second floor to the Mexican Café and have some coffee and some food the name of the dish I couldn’t remember. And then I would take the lift located on the lobby directly to the fourteenth floor where his office was. 

As the lift was ascending passing the fifth floor, I felt nausea and started to vomit. 

It must have been the Mexican food. I told myself. But that I took only coffee just now. Could it have been the dinner last night? I screwed my brains trying to find an answer. There was no reason for me to feel nausea unless I was pregnant. Immediately I thought of Louis. Shall I approach Louis?

We were only engaged. If I got pregnant it would put me in a bad light. Moreover, it would affect my inheritance. Would a sibling with a fiancée be entitled to inheritance? The answer I would need to consult Louis again. Louis is indispensable!

Chapter 12

Today I received a text from someone: Your life is in spiritual bondages. Hidden camera. 

I wondered if Louis has CCTV in his office. But that was not important. All I wanted to do was to break the good news to Louis. But before I could do that, I threw up on his carpet in the client office. 

I simply did what I was told not to do. 

The minute Louis saw me, “Are you pregnant?” he asked. 

“You come with me to the clinic,” I asked Louis. 

“I am busy these few weeks, I have an important client from KL,” he explained. 

Further on Louis added, “Let me know the result.” 

Good! At least he was showing some concern. I thought to myself. And then I went straight to his toilet on the fourteenth floor to clean myself up. 

My iPhone rang. I picked it up and the caller hung up. I saw the text message again – hidden camera. Why would anyone want to film me? 

Chapter 13

Ok, it must be the job of inspector Jacob. I called him inspector Jacob and not Sergeant Jacob as I knew that he was after me. I was waiting for him to question me about the pair of Ferragamo shoes I left on the staircase when I changed into Rosemary’s slippers. Why would I want to do that? Why would I wear my shoes halfway up the landing? It was certainly food for thought. 

Over the next few days, I tried to think of many reasons for my odd behaviour. I couldn’t tell anyone that I heard Rosemary’s voice, for they would tell me straightaway to see a shrink. 

At the same time, I remembered hearing someone at the shower after I saw Rosemary at the bathtub. Who was that? If Rosemary died in the bathtub then it wasn’t she who was showering, which meant that someone else was in that part of the house at the time. And then I did not see him but that in all probability he must have seen me going into the bathroom. 

OMG! He would also have seen that I did not pick Rosemary up from the bubble bath …. Hey! But wait!! If he didn’t think fit to save Rosemary from drowning why would I think otherwise?!

I love Rosemary. Rosemary was my sister and my only other relative apart from Louis. Louis was my fiancée and until I bore his child I was not related to him by blood. 

And fact was I was now pregnant with his child. Louis was aware of it but that he was busy attending to his business. This client from KL …. Hold it! Was she Louis’ other girlfriend? Women usually became particularly suspicious of their husbands when they were pregnant. Louis’ lukewarm reaction upon hearing the news of my pregnancy certainly did not help me at all. 

Chapter 14

I decided to be proactive. I browsed the website, and then my mind clicked. I logged into the Registry of Marriages and I found Louis’ name – he was married to a lady by the name of Rosemary Chan Lay Geok!!! 

When did they get married and why wasn’t I informed??? 

I needed to say no more. 

Louis would take precedence over me as a spouse on the claim for the inheritance from Rosemary as the spouse was always the first in line. The only way in which I could break up the relationship between Louis and Rosemary was to say that I was Louis’s common law wife and that I was now pregnant with his child so that the marriage between Louis and Rosemary became null and void. 

Thank God I was already pregnant. 

I went to the gynaecologist and did my medical check-up, duly on the appointment date. Then I went to the Mexican Café where Louis’ office was, pondering on how to break the good news to Louis. 

Of course, I won’t know if it were a boy or a girl yet. 

I was surprised to see Louis’ office door locked, the newspapers lying on the floor outside his office suggesting that he had not been in for quite a few days. 

No need to worry. I told myself. You have Louis’ number.

I rang the man and he picked up the call straight away. 

“Hello dear,” the voice unmistakably Louis’. 

“I am … “and before I could finish, Louis had hung up the phone. 

I told myself the line was bad. He was in KL. No reason to get alarmed. I rang again. 

Louis’ never picked up the call. 

Seven months later, Alicia was safely delivered of a boy. 

Alicia named him Johnny Chan. 

Hamlet Mansion the house where the rosary prayer fellowship was regularly held was transferred to Louis in name, he, being the deceased’s spouse. The house was still there to date but Alicia never went back again. 

The man Louis was at large. He never came back to claim his son. Louis was never a criminal for he knew the law. Then who killed Rosemary?

A road less travelled ….

Chapter 1

If you were nice to someone you must be consistently nice to him. Likewise, a thief must be apprehended if goods have been stolen. 

I have a bag that is transparent. I put my wallet, my key holder, my MRT card, my tissue pouch, my pink lipstick etc. inside my bag. And I carried it wherever I go. I never left it on the chair next to me, I never put it on the floor and I always slung it over my shoulder. 

In my office where I worked, I sat in a large room comprising the seven of us, apart from Mr Mori. Asaki has one large table and a side table. Seats were arranged so that he sat at the head facing us. We have two tables facing each other and my table with Angela was nearer the exit. The rest of the staff were seated at the other table. Our tables faced each other and not Asaki. 

Mr Mori could be very demanding if he wanted to be. He would come around and stand behind us and looked at our papers from behind. His shoes were dark brown and leathery but that always gave me a creepy feeling and I always felt a chill running up my spine. They reminded me of my late husband Dan’s shoes. 

Chapter 2

When I got on the bus this morning, I sat next to a guy with ear plugs on. Most people always chose seats that were single and far away from others whenever they had a choice. But I normally sat at the entrance near the driver. I was afraid of being alone since Dan left. I smiled at the bus driver, but he ignored me. I put my transparent bag on my lap and not on the seat next to me even if it were empty. 

When I arrived at the office. I greeted Angela, but she ignored me. I didn’t know why she gave me the cold shoulder. Was it the clothes I was wearing that put her off? Maybe because I was in black. Or was it because she was envious of my transparent bag? Angela was my immediate supervisor. She was middle-aged married to a businessman. When Angela smiled, you could see a set of small and evenly arranged teeth, which made her very attractive even for her age. 

Chapter 3

It was raining so heavily this morning that I instantly decided not to leave the house. I rang the office and Jackie the admin officer picked up the phone. I coughed a little, 

“Hey, I can’t come in today, I got the flu,” my voice was sounding a little hoarse, trailing away … 

“Oh yeah of course, take care and be sure to see your doctor.” Jackie said. She sounded sympathetic. 

Jackie smoked a lot and was married to an air-steward. 

“Yes, yes, I shall,” I quickly ended the conversation. 

I knew exactly where to get the medical certificate from. 

Chapter 4

I still could not forget the quarrel Asaki had with Mr Mori the other day. Mr Mori called Asaki into his room. The room was large, and it has venetian blinds on its glass wall. No one could see what was going on inside, but everyone could hear what was going on inside. 

“What is this that you have done?!” I heard Mr Mori asked. 

We strained our ears, but we couldn’t hear a word from Asaki. 

“Do you know that this is a very serious error?” 

Omg what has Asaki done?! 

“You have leaked a very confidential information, as well as mutilation of personal property.” Mr Mori was angry, I meant ANGRY. 

All of us outside were quiet. It was after 4:00 p.m. so that the counter was already closed for operation. 

“What has happened?” outside Joanna asked. 

“Quiet,” Junie said. 

“You think Asaki would get the sack?” again Joanna asked. 

“Wait till we see Asaki come out,” but the one that came out was not Asaki, it was Mr Mori. 

“Tell Ah Chee to give me a cup of green tea,” he said, not looking at anyone of us. 

Ah Chee came, and that was the end of the matter. 

After that I thought that Mr Mori cooled down. 

Chapter 5

Mr Mori was an angry man. I meant, he looked angry all the time. He had this perpetual frown on his forehead, and his eyes were intense and large. When he stared at you, you got the feeling that he was trying to eat you up. I never liked to be in Mr Mori’s room, but I was the one who brought Japanese tea to him every morning. He was usually not in at the time before 10:00 a.m., and I would leave the tea on his table just next to where he put his pen holder. No one told me to serve him, but just that, as a secretary to the department I thought it only fair that …. Hold it … The pen! My pen! 

Dan’s Cross pen was inside Mr Mori’s pen holder! 

Chapter 6

Lunch time we usually ate together, without Mr Mori of course. Today I looked at Asaki and he was staring at me, so that I managed a smile. But he didn’t return my gesture. Instead Junie spoke, “where are we going for lunch?” 

“The usual I guess,” Asaki said, talking to Junie instead of me. 

I took out my transparent bag, ready for another round of chicken curry. Joanna was always amazed at how I could eat curry without rice. And she greatly disapproved of it. Her opinion didn’t matter to me, so that I continued with my habit. As usual we were going to the Bhaha Curry stall for chicken curry with papadum. That seemed to be Asaki’s favorite. 

At lunch, Angela bought a plate of fruits for all of us to share. Before she put the plate on the table, she remarked that she chose the fruits based on its colours – that she got a colourful plate of fruits rather than a savoury plate. She chose apples, oranges, kiwi, papaya and banana, to make up for a multi-coloured plate. And then she announced that this was the way I decided on things – looks mattered most to me rather than the actual value. 

I couldn’t agree with her more. Asaki has this boyish good looks and he has a strong physique. Asaki also spoke two languages proficiently. If I were ten years younger I think I would have fallen for Asaki. But Asaki did not own a car. 

Chapter 7

As I was coming home today, I felt someone following me. I turned around and true enough Asaki was behind. I lowered my head and quickened my steps. My transparent bag I lugged it under my arm. I did not want Asaki to catch up with me. He was bound to talk to me about Mr Mori, and that would get me involved in his problems. 

Although Mr Mori didn’t have CCTV in his room and that he couldn’t see what we were doing outside, sometimes I did get the feeling that Mr Mori was watching us all the time. I tried my best not to be distracted by Asaki, who sat at the head of the section all the time. 

Whenever there was something bothering me, I always confided with Angela. She might be bad tempered, but she always gave me good advice. I decided to talk to her about my encounters with Dan. Dan was my late husband.

Chapter 8

Two nights ago I thought I saw Dan. It was at the poolside. He was reading a book and I wanted to go up to ask him if he wanted to come up to the house and have dinner. 

Then later on I saw Dan with me on a boat. “Do you want to jump?” I heard Dan ask me. 

“No, I can’t swim,” I said. 

And then I woke up. 

In the morning Dan was gone. I made some coffee and quickly left for work. Any delay in the house would incur further conversations with Dan. Fifteen minutes later I was at the bus-stop. The bus arrived on time and I chose a seat near the driver. I wanted to be visible. I was afraid of being alone. 

Dan died in a car accident. The police refused to divulge further information except that he died on the way home after some drinks with a friend. 

Chapter 9

Today as usual, I walked out of the office punctually at 4:30 p.m. I turned into Caterpillar Road and then out into the main road. As Asaki caught up with me I asked him about his family. Just to test him. 

“Is your wife working?” 

“No, why?” Asaki became a little defensive. 

He didn’t deny the existence of his wife. That meant that he was married! 

So what Angela told me was true … then why was he pursuing me like this? 

In order to pretend that I was not jealous. I asked, “what is she doing?” 

“Nothing at the moment, she looks after the baby,” 

Asaki must have read my thoughts. He added, “baby is only one month old,” as though this could mitigate the fact that he was already a father. A month-old Dad is also a Dad! 

I couldn’t say that I wasn’t disappointed. So, in order not to show that I was disappointed, I tried to be practical, “Would you have to wake up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?” 

Chapter 10

Not everyone you talked to talked back to you. It was not that every time you addressed a person he responded. Asaki, and I were like that. 

We would walk the length of Caterpillar Road. I would say something, and he would decide if he wanted to reply. Whenever we walked past house number 44, we would see a large parrot perched on the only tree in the house. His neck was long, and his thin fingers resting precariously on one of the branches made him looked as though he was ready to sing at any time. I always greeted him, and I often wondered if he were there waiting for us. 

And when we arrived at the main road we would part company. 

“See you again tomorrow,” 

“Yup, see you tomorrow.” 

We never said bye to each other. 

On one occasion I wanted to ask Asaki to take a picture of myself with the parrot but that would mean that I have to walk into the house. The house seemed unoccupied … but if the parrot lived there, surely some other person did too. It could mean trespass, so I refrained. I was sure that the parrot was willing for the shot. 

Chapter 11

By now Asaki and I have formed the habit of walking out of the front gate of our office into the street. 

“I have a house in Japan,” today Asaki said, as we were walking along the road before we greeted the parrot. 

I looked at him, a little puzzled. Asaki was a Japanese from Japan. If I were not mistaken, he just arrived not too long ago. Obviously, he has a house in Japan! Why did he need to give me this piece of information? Why was he giving me this information? Was he trying to ask me to go and live with him in Japan? Wasn’t this a little premature? 

I quickened my steps, hoping to lose Asaki and arrived at my usual joint for coffee. The café was newly set up and brewed the most fragrant coffee beans apart from the set of tea with two scones. The coffee would help me to stay awake for another six hours, so that I would have some useful time after work. 

But Asaki was insistent, “My wife’s sister has come from Japan,” 

“So?” I couldn’t help replying. 

“She wants to stay at a hotel,” he said. 

“Then stay in a hotel.” I said. I had nothing to contribute. 

“They are usually very expensive,” Asaki said. 

“Then the problem belongs to you and your wife,” I said again, as a disinterested third party. Of course, Asaki knew that I was a widow and have an empty room in my house. 

I want to have my coffee. 

Three more steps. Then we reached the end of the road. 

Once we hit the main road, traffic became heavier, the sound of the car engines would muffle up our conversation so that it became less intense. I knew that Asaki was trying to engage me in his plans although I was not so sure what his plans were. 

I continued to walk to the bus stop. No one was following me except Asaki. I thought that after the parrot we would have already parted company. 

“Let me Google it for you,” I decided to say. 

“Try one of those new hotels,” Asaki suggested, and then he hopped onto an oncoming bus. I wanted to see where he was going but that the bus had already left. 

I continued with my coffee after work, and then I arrived at home just in time to see the security guards change shift. 

My transparent bag was nice, and I usually swung it up to show the guards that I have nothing to hide. I was a loyal faithful servant of the Lord. I read the Bible and I followed the ten commandants, and I saw Dan at the Columbarium at church every Friday.

Chapter 12 

This afternoon Asaki started the topic: 

“I heard that Mr Mori has two wives,” 

“What do you mean?” My eyes rolled big. 

“He was in Sri Lanka before this,” “she killed herself.” 

“One would have thought that she was killed by the natives.” I said. 

“And apparently he still has a family there.” 

“Oh, dear, what a complicated situation,” I said. 

I thought about it and I still couldn’t believe it. Mr Mori looked like a disciplinary master. His face was thin and gaunt and when he spoke to you, he stared straight at you without blinking, the magical spell in his eyes always made you tell the truth. 

I often got the feeling that Mr Mori was hiding something from me. 

“His has another wife …. she killed herself when he was posted to Sri Lanka … “

“Oh ok, she died,” I tried to remain disinterested. 

Then out of curiosity I couldn’t help myself asking, 

“There could be several methods to suicide. Did she point a gun at herself? Did she jump down from a building?” I gave Asaki a few examples. 

I sensed that Asaki was not ready with the information, so that I quickly added, “let me know when you are ready, I know that this is P & C.” 

Chapter 13

I sensed that Dan was with me in the same house, although I couldn’t say for sure which part of the house he was occupying. I have a double bed and Dan used to sleep on it with me. Of course he was not there with me now, he was stuck somewhere in a niche in the St Francis Church. But fact was that Dan left on a sudden note, almost in a hurry. He didn’t plan to leave, that was for sure. 

Every morning when I was at Mr Mori’s room I saw my Cross pen staring at me. It was a gift from me to Dan shortly before he died. The pen has the engraved words “I love you Dan,” on it. 

Chapter 14

When you have done something wrong usually you didn’t tell other people about it. So far, I have done no wrong. I have no intention of entering into any relationship with Asaki, assuming that this was what he wanted. And if anything, it was always he who followed me out into Caterpillar Road. 

Today we walked further down the street and we arrived at the Fur Café located just as you turned right from Caterpillar Road into the main road. Asaki attempted for the first time, 

“Want a cup of coffee at Fur Café?” 

I usually have my coffee there anyway after we parted company. Our office closed at 4:30 p.m. so that it was not yet crowded as most other office staff were still working. I took the initiative to go up to place the order for the afternoon tea. 

When I brought the coffee to the table where Asaki was seated, he said, 

“Do you know that if you drink too much coffee you are prone to cardiovascular disease compared with those who drink less?” 

“Rubbish!” I said, “I drink in moderation. Moderate coffee consumption could have cardiovascular benefit.” 

“According to research.” I was adamant. 

Chapter 15

Today I decided that I wanted to show Asaki that I trusted him, so that I left my transparent bag with him. 

“I’d only be gone for a while,” I said. And then I took only my wallet from the bag. Surely, he would wait for me until I returned. He won’t run away with my bag. He was my colleague not a thief. I walked to the cashier. 

“How much is the food?” 

“What are you having?” 

“A set of tea, two scones,” instead of coffee I decided to take tea today. 

“Any other orders?” the cashier was meticulous. 

“No,” 

“That will be fifteen twenty,” she said, thus I dug into my wallet to take out the change. 

When I went back, Asaki asked, “what is this that you have in your bag?” 

“Oh, that’s nothing, that’s just my jewellery pouch,” 

“How did you know that I have it in the bag?” 

“I can see from outside. Your bag is transparent!” 

Yes, my transparent bag. My bag was transparent. 

“Is it for sale?” Asaki tried to be funny. 

My transparent bag is not for sale! 

My transparent bag was my life. My identity card, credit card, and discount cards, etc. …. they were all inside, so that if I lost my bag I was gone. The bag contained all worldly possessions to tell people that I was Rachel Wee of Chinese descent, aged thirty-six this year, and in possession of some amount of money. 

Chapter 16

In retrospect, I should have realized that the office suspected something going on between Asaki and myself when Joanna spoke to me out of the blue one afternoon. She leaned over and whispered in my ears, “Try to tell lies if you can,” 

“You mean to say that I have something to hide?” I retorted immediately. 

“Nope, I am just saying it as a general principle,” 

“Ok, got you,” I nodded my head and carried on with my food.

I thought that the others did not hear us. 

Chapter 17

As a said, there was no reason why I should not like Asaki. He has this boyish charm and baby good looks. He looked young for his age, and he talked to me as though I were his age, even younger so that I was not so sure why he liked me, or why he chose me to be the subject of his affections. But one thing I knew for sure, he was not going to give up until he got what he wanted, which was still quite undefined now. 

Today Asaki and I walked the length of Caterpillar Road in silence, each in our own thoughts. I was nursing a wretched cold, but I didn’t know why Asaki was quiet. Perhaps he was thinking of his wife, maybe even his new born baby. Angela had told me to give him a birthday card for his baby – to register with his wife of my existence. Like a caveat.

Chapter 18

Co-workers in the office were not supposed to engage in romantic affairs. I had not done anything with Asaki except to walk the distance of Caterpillar Road. No one was a witness of our interaction except the parrot. 

So that now I found out that he has a wife I didn’t know what to do with Asaki. He seemed genuine. And fact was that my husband Dan had just died. It was too soon for me to enter into a new relationship with anyone. Dan’s belongings have not yet been cleared. All I wanted was to keep my job. I have rent to pay, and I needed to foot my groceries bill. 

I have no intention of doing anything romantic with Asaki, apart from having tea with him, even though I much preferred coffee. He always paid me back for the scones and tea. There was absolutely no exchange of favors from him to me, and vice versa. 

How do I end the relationship with Asaki? How do I put a stop to the stroll along Caterpillar Road? 

Before Mr Mori discovered our acquaintance borderline on romance, I had better tell Asaki that I wasn’t keen on him. If I lost this job, I have nowhere to go to. I would be out of a job for at least six months. Moreover, this was a special skill that I acquired – to read other people’s passport and make judgements on whether there were valid reasons for accepting their applications for travel to Christmas Island. 

I conducted myself as though I were going to exit anytime. I stopped buying new clothes to impress and I counted every cent that I spent. Mr Mori stopped smiling at me, but I still continued lunch with Joanna and the rest. Of course, Asaki was always present. 

Chapter 19

I didn’t know why Dan came back last night. 

I saw his shoes – the same shoes as Mr Mori’s – at our entrance. But I didn’t believe my eyes. I ignored it and went into the house as though Dan was not in. I made my own dinner – some fried pork and pickled vegetables. Then I went out to the balcony to take in some fresh air. I needed to think about the relationship between Asaki and myself. It was clearer now. Asaki was interested in me. 

The lights in the bathroom were on, to give the feeling that Dan was still living in the house. Dan might come back anytime, that was for sure. He left this place in a hurry, after a car knocked him down at the traffic junction. I kept his things here as they were before, still kidding to myself that he was coming back. I was not yet used to his absence. Last night I distinctly felt his weight on the bed. 

Chapter 20

The next morning when I picked up my transparent bag from the kitchen counter, I found that it was lighter than before. I didn’t think it mattered. After all I was the only one in the house, nothing could have happened to it. And then I left the house closing the door behind me. 

My front door could be locked easily. Once you slammed it, it locked itself and you could not open it unless you have the keys. 

I had mentioned it to Dan before. To change the lock system. But Dan refused. Dan was a particularly difficult man. If he said one you were not allowed to mention two. If he told you that Susan was pretty you could not deny the fact even though she was fat and grumpy. I thought about Dan and suddenly felt unhappy about him. I thought I might be beginning to fall for Asaki. Or wasn’t I? 

As usual I took bus 174 from Beatrice Point. The journey was short and took me directly to Poets Road where I worked. Mr Mori would be there to receive me. I meant, he would be in his office siting at his desk, waiting for me to get the password to start my computer, my Cross pen staring at me.

Chapter 21

Today I had lunch alone. After lunch when Angela came to collect petty cash for the department, I found only a hundred dollars in my wallet. I thought I had two hundred. I couldn’t remember where I spent my money on but I was quite sure that I had five pieces last night. I didn’t buy anything yesterday after work. And the wallet has been in my transparent bag the whole time. 

Chapter 22

The phone rang. Angela picked up the phone. 

“Hello,” she began. 

“ …. “, from the other side. 

“Are you working tomorrow?” she asked, her voice was getting loud. 

“ …. “, we could guess what the other side was saying. It must have been a no.

“If you are not working, why should I be working?” and then she followed this by slamming the phone down with a loud Bang!

We were all taken aback. Why was Angela so angry? 

I sat frozen. Was tomorrow an off day? 

When you were working for someone, you must follow his line of thinking. Angela was obviously in a bad mood. Did she quarrel with her husband last night? Or was it simply just that she didn’t wake up in time for breakfast this morning? 

Chapter 23

The weather was colder today so that I picked a knit wear for myself. 

“Your blouse is nice!” Joanna was the first to notice. 

“Yup what a nice colour,” Junie said.

I went to my desk. I sat down. Angela said nothing. Then after a while she got up from her seat and came to my side, she touched my sleeve briefly, and she said, 

“Nice texture. Did you buy it yourself?” 

At half past four, we waited for the rain to stop. There was sun, but the temperature was cold, masked by the moisture that came with the rain. Asaki and I decided to brave the rain. 

I normally carried the umbrella with me. Asaki told me to share his with him, 

“We don’t need two umbrellas, two persons with two umbrellas is strange, come, I hold it, I am taller than you.” 

A car passed by and splashed the water on the ground collected from the rain right onto my shoes, my pants was soaked with rain water. The car zoomed past without even saying goodbye. 

“These careless driver …. “, Asaki said. But I got this vague feeling that perhaps it wasn’t pure carelessness. 

Then I saw the car number plate. It was Mr Mori! 

Chapter 24

Once in a while the office fumigated the grounds. White fog filled the entire area outside our large carpeted room. The plants at the corner shivered with the loud noise generated by the fumigation machine. We paused at our work using this as an excuse. 

When it was time to go home, Angela remarked, 

“I wished I had a bodyguard,” as though referring to Asaki. 

But we didn’t do anything! Fact was that Asaki and I walked in silence without much conversation. We looked forward to the parrot each day, that’s all! 

Chapter 25

I found money missing from my wallet again. This time it was twenty dollars. I was sure that no one handled my wallet. So, I decided to make a record to keep track of my money. The only time I left my wallet unattended in my transparent bag was whenever I went up to pay for the afternoon teas with Asaki. But Asaki couldn’t have stolen. Why would he want to steal from me? It was such an insignificant amount for him! 

As usual Asaki followed me out of the front gate into Caterpillar Road. I saw a police car passed by and I noticed that it seemed to slow down when it passed by Asaki and myself. I decided that I could not report the money loss to the authorities. For one, I could not confirm if it were indeed taken from my transparent bag. How do I record the things in my bag and put a stamp of ownership on them? True that the bag was transparent and that you could see what was inside. But why did you leave your bag with Asaki? Who told you to trust him?

Chapter 26

Mr Mori never came out of his office. He would intercom us to go in. We were told to pick up the phone on three rings – not too long and not too short. Basically, we were service oriented. We decided on who could travel to Christmas Island. We wanted to give the impression that we were very efficient. 

When you were old no one wanted to go out with you. I was old, so that Asaki going out with me fed my vanity. But I was more interested in Mr Mori’s affairs. They said that Mori’s wife killed herself because of him. Could it be true? Could Mori be a regular assassin? 

Today I decided that I wanted to explore on this mystery. 

Mr Mori had his chauffeur as his trusted confidante. So that I went up to have a chat with Mr Muru. Mr Muru usually sat at the area just outside the pantry reading the day’s newspapers. 

“Do you know that Mr Mori has two wives?” I began. 

“Two? I thought three,” Mr Muru said. 

Then he continued, “Mr Mori is a very rich man …. doesn’t need this job, he owned several properties in the West Coast ….” before going back to his newspapers. 

“Are they all legally married?” I asked, meaning Mr Mori with his wives. 

“Are you ok? What a silly question! How could he be?! You should know that bigamy is not allowed under Australian law.” 

“Then are his wives all still alive?” I ventured further. 

If Mori were my boyfriend, then I wanted to know who I was competing with. 

“I don’t know, it seems that the first wife died in India, or was it Sri Lanka, I can’t remember …. she killed herself …” 

So, it was true! Mr Mori’s first wife committed suicide. 

“ …. but don’t tell anyone,” Mr Muru added. 

“Promise,” I raised my right hand and put an oath to my assurance. 

At the same time, I needed to use the toilet, so that I decided to make Mr Muru a gratuitous bailee. Maybe if I showed him that I trusted him he would furnish me with more information. 

“I’ll be back,” I said, and then I walked away. 

“Don’t leave your bag behind,” Mr Muru shouted after me. 

When I came back, Mr Muru wasn’t at his spot anymore as he was sent to fetch Mr Mori. My transparent bag was there but my key pouch disappeared. The net result was that I had no keys to enter my house. 

I checked into the Paloba Hotel located at the Poets Road, the one just opposite my bus-stop. I used my name Rachel Wee the same name as I have used for the booking of Asaki’s sister-in-law who never turned up. 

Chapter 27

Whenever you have made a mistake you must always say sorry immediately. Otherwise you made the other person feel that he was to be blamed. I had to tell Asaki that I was staying at the hotel now, the one that I had booked for his sister-in-law. Asaki asked me for the room number and insisted on paying for the bill. I accepted it as I had not enough money to pay, even though it would appear as though Asaki stayed with me for the night. 

For this I confided with Jackie. Jackie dealt with admin and she was pretty good at this sort of thing. 

“Just make sure that you check-out alone,” “If no one can get a picture of you with Asaki, they cannot say anything,” 

Err, did Jackie know about my non-existent affair with Asaki? 

Chapter 28

When you were older you read people faster, as you have acquired a certain kind of instinct that came with experience. Mori might be old and pigmented, he was attractive in a very strange way. He was intense and deeply profound, maybe because he was very well read and thus very well informed. Nothing missed him, and he was always full of reserved energy. 

Today Mr Mori issued a statement: I have a private life which I do not permit interference …. it must be respected. 

I went back to the hotel puzzled. Surely Mr Muru did not tell Mr Mori about my enquiry?! And even if he did, surely Mr Mori would not have cared. 

But I had things to do. I needed to open my house door and I called for the locksmith from room 762, the hotel room which I booked for Asaki’s sister-in-law. It was a quick fix to my problem. I borrowed some money from Asaki and bought two sets of new clothes and I went to the office directly from the hotel. No one knew about this except the security guards at my house who hadn’t seen me for several days. 

And of course Mr Mori. 

Chapter 29

The coffee tasted a little bit more bitter at Fur Café. I finished it nonetheless. And then I went back to the hotel to sleep again. 

… I need to pay the locksmith for opening the door and … my wallet is missing …. No, my whole transparent bag is missing. But one thing was … for sure. I cannot report the loss to the authorities, they already suspect me of having … an affair … with Asaki. 

… The past needs to be dealt with, signed sealed and delivered. Dan’s death must be classified either as a car accident or … as an unnatural death by other means … Dan cannot continue to live in my house … as a free spirit coming and going as he pleased. I have to … find a new partner … 

Chapter 30

But Rachel Wee never woke up from her sleep. The last person she saw that day at the Paloba Hotel was Mr Mori, and the last conversation she had was with him, 

“You slept with my subordinate,” Mori said.

“No, I didn’t,” Rachel could barely protest. 

“You deserve to die, just like your husband,” Mori was angry. 

“Why? Why did you kill my husband?” Rachel’s voice trailing away … 

“He killed my wife,” this time Mori was angry. 

When Mr Mori was angry, he was ANGRY. 

Chapter 31

As Asaki examined the contents of Rachel Wee’s transparent bag in front of Mr Mori, he quietly said to himself, 

“Everything is for sale. The only issue is the price.”

A rose from Christian ….

Book A

Chapter 1

There was nothing sinister about Mark and Suzanne. Mark kept short hair and not too clean shaven so that when you looked at him, you would know that if you entered into a fight with him anytime, chances were that you would lose. Suzanne was thin and willowy wearing her hair over her shoulders. They lived on top of our unit on the fifth floor at 5A. 

Chapter 2

I lived on low ground in an apartment behind a large house. The piece of land has no name and the entire estate was large and unkempt. Overgrown trees and brown leaves dripping from the branches gave anyone who came here the general feeling that this place was uninhabited. No one would know that you lived here unless you told them. You drove into a street, then turned left into the estate, and then you went further down the road, before you found us. 

It was the large Christmas tree standing in the middle of the large old garden that attracted Mother and I to this place. Once we saw it, we quickly made a down payment and booked the apartment for ourselves. At the time it seemed that all the other nine units were occupied. 

After three months we realized that our landlord seemed to be too busy with his other properties and as I tried to make enquiries on him I was given a firm warning to let things be, which resulted that we have not been able to pay rent for the last three months. If it did not bother the landlord, it should not disturb us. 

Chapter 3

The weather these days was bad. It rained every day at unpredictable hours, you couldn’t decide on whether to bring your umbrella along with you when you went out, so that I found a bag large enough to carry the bulky item in any case. The bag I left it on the bench outside our front door. 

Chapter 4

Mother and I moved in on Christmas Eve 2013. We could hear the sound of the Christmas Carols from far away background and saw that some of the apartments had their balconies decorated with Christmas lights. Mother told me to take out a bottle of red wine to celebrate this new chapter of our lives. At the time we didn’t know that Mother had cancer. 

On 26 March 2014, two days before Mother’s birthday, she was diagnosed with liver cancer. This piece of news shattered us, she more so than I, for she was given only one year to live. Mother had wanted more. I was still too young to comprehend what that meant. The thought of not having to see Mother again never occurred to me. 

In the subsequent months, Mother and I lugged her medical reports, scan results and all other relevant materials, from one doctor to another, hoping to find cure. We even met with church workers who specialized in divine intervention. Not being satisfied, we ordered alternative medicine online, some which were primarily unavailable in the country. 

We tried to salvage the little time that we have been left with now but that the bad news had a toll on our relationship. We knew that we must part on good terms but that once we made up, we were afraid that that would be the ending. So much so that we were never satisfied with just one long conversation. But we also did not know that the neighbours could hear what was said behind closed door.

Chapter 5

Today as I was waiting for my Grab on the first floor, 1A where Elaine and her golden retriever lived, she happened to open her front door. She saw me and without a hello, said, 

“Forget about your ex, he is a bad guy, move on ….” 

How did she know that I was divorced? 

I pretended not to hear her, and merely returned her hello, and then just at the time my Grab came. I quickly hopped in and left her. Her golden retriever barked loudly and seemed to want to follow me. I shut my car door tight and ordered the driver to bring me to my destination. 

Ok, so Elaine heard Mother and me. 

Chapter 6

As I came back this evening as usual, I met Lydia at the foot of the stairs. Lydia was our second floor neighbour who lived with her sister Emma. She was always friendly with a bright smile. Today she said to me, 

“you must have your own reasons for divorce, don’t let your mom influence you.” 

Just at this time, Tommy Lung from the second floor at 2B opposite the sisters also came back, “Yup, don’t let your mom disturb you,” Tommy Lung worked in Citibank. 

OMG! The whole neighbourhood could hear our conversation! 

I resolved not to talk to mother again. 

Chapter 7

Now that since my quarrels with Mother could be heard by the neighbours, I drafted a note to offer an explanation, which was that Mother was ill and that the illness took a toll on us. 

As a matter of fact, my patience was beginning to run out – not that I wanted Mother dead, but that I wanted some certainty which was positive. If Mother could live for another three years, then I would shelf my plans for graduate studies at the University of Birmingham. 

Once I decided to make peace with the neighbours, I went into action. At night, after Mother had gone to bed, I drafted a note: 

Dear Neighbours, If you hear some loud noises from this neighbourhood, please pardon us, it will quieten after a while, so that you could enjoy the rest of the evening. My sincere apologies. Your friendly neighbour. 

I refused to acknowledge the fact that the noise came from Mother and I, for I was not about to incriminate myself. 

Afterwards I did not hesitate to drop the note, copied into 9 pieces, into the letterboxes of all the residents in the block, which comprised the ten of us. I didn’t expect any reaction from the neighbours. 

Nothing happened until three days later when Mother had another argument with me. This time it was about Brother Joseph. Brother Joseph was a priest who resided in India and he came to Singapore with a miracle oil which he vowed had healing properties. 

“All you needed to do was to rub it where your body was ill,” he said affirmatively. 

“If it were that easy, all the doctors should be dismissed,” I thought to myself. I found it difficult to believe in Brother Joseph’s oil. 

Nonetheless Mother got a bottle from him and kept it close to her side. It irritated me tremendously. I would have put it together with all the other medicine since it promised to have curative powers. 

Chapter 8

As I was at the ground floor waiting for my Grab again this morning, Tommy Lung sauntered down from the second floor. 

“Don’t be too hard on your mother,” he said. 

“Huh? What do you mean?” believing that he did not hear our quarrels. 

“Do you have to pay for this miracle oil?” Tommy asked. 

OMG! He heard us! 

“No, I don’t think so,” meekly I replied. 

“Then let her, at least she has something to hold onto,” Tommy emphasised his words. 

“I guess so,” I had nothing more to say. Looked like the entire neighbourhood was living with us in the small apartment. I almost wanted to cry.

Chapter 9

I was still yet to find out whom the rest of the people living in the block were. First floor I knew it was Elaine with her golden retriever, the second floor I knew Lydia and Emma, and then on her side the third floor was Johnny and Florence. Florence was pregnant and due any minute and was in most of the time. The other side of the block on the first floor I knew David and Elizabeth. They have two young children and I particularly liked the younger one baby Lucas. 

On the second floor was Tommy Lung which you already knew, and on the third floor 3B was a tenant of obscure origin. He kept his door shut all the time and rarely came out. His balcony was also shut as you could see from far and that there seemed to be no activity inside. 

The one I most often saw was Mark and Suzanne. I found Mark aloof. On the contrary Suzanne greeted me whenever she saw me in the common area and I always looked forward to the chance of seeing them, singly or together. The ease with which Florence did things attracted me to her. Like the way she would fold her umbrella and the way she clipped her handphone under her arm whilst her hands were carrying the groceries. 

I told myself it was good to be married. 

Chapter 10

Cancer patients suffered from a kind of anguish, as it was as though God has given them an ultimatum of when they must return, so that their journey in life no longer held any more surprises. There was nothing to look forward to except death. Needless to say, that put a mask on everything that they did. 

I was also angry myself. I had thought that Mother could enjoy the rest of her life with me here, at this time, in this small estate grounds. I thought that every day would be Christmas as I had just quit my job as a data analyst with Hewlett Packard, after having saved up sufficient retirement funds. 

And then one night I heard someone moving his furniture. I was sure that it came from upstairs. The movement was loud enough for me to determine which direction it came from. It was from the upstairs not next door. It must have been 5A. Number 5A was Stuart. 

I wanted to charge upstairs to tell number 5A to stop being so loud. We didn’t often make friends, but we couldn’t help making enemies. If I went up now I would make 5A our enemy. 

True enough Mother did not sleep well last night. She complained of neck pain which only Brother Joseph’s oil could help sooth her nerves. 

Chapter 11

Today I saw Mark and Suzanne again, Mark holding out the umbrella for Suzanne. The image of them together played in my mind, and the sparkling diamond ring on Suzanne’s finger did nothing but created a certain kind of jealousy in me. How much did it cost? Were Mark and Suzanne legally married? I noticed that the diamond ring did not come with a wedding band to secure it. 

The next day late at night I returned, and as I got out of my Grab, I saw two figures in the dark and I saw that it was a man and a woman. The two figures entwined together I could see that they were deeply in love. I recognized Mark’ umbrella on the ground. 

In the distance I could hear the birds chirping as though they were cheering them on and I could almost hear music in the background. And as I knew that it was none of my business, I walked past them and headed straight back into my apartment. Mother was waiting for me. 

I dropped my shoes outside the front door before I got into the house. We have a shoe rack and we left it outside the house for we didn’t think that anyone would want to steal our old shoes. For one, our feet were smaller than most, and the thief had to be sure that it fitted her. 

The entire night I wondered if the woman was Suzanne, and if it were so they need not conduct their intimacy in the dark in the garden. They have their entire fifth floor at their disposal! 

Chapter 12

The rain suddenly came on my way home. I had not expected this, and that the driver dropped me at the porch behind the garden. The minute I arrived, something moved, and it was two figures who separated themselves. I didn’t want to confront them as it was not in my habit to confront anyone. I lived quietly on the fourth floor with my mother who was suffering from cancer and I really have no inclinations to invite more trouble. 

But one day as I met Mark on the ground floor, he suddenly approached me and started conversation. Mark never spoke to me. 

“Are you going overseas recently?” Mark said. 

“Not in the near future, why?” I replied. 

“I thought that you could look after my plants for me while I am away,” he said. 

Before I could reply. Mark continued, 

“Why haven’t you married?” 

“That is really none of your business,” I said quietly. 

I don’t want to water his plants for him. 

I gave him one of my toothless smiles and I turned and walked away, straight up to the apartment where mother will be asking why I took so long. 

But I felt distinctly uncomfortable after the interaction with Mark. He asked me for information which was not relevant to my relationship with him. I need not declare my marital status to him to water his plants. And I thought that he, including the other eight apartments, already knew that I was divorced. He was only my neighbour, it was really too personal. 

Chapter 13

Again, Mark attempted to talk to me, 

“Do you have any siblings?” he went straight to the point. 

“No, why?” naturally I was more guarded this time. 

“No reason, I don’t see anyone visiting you so was just wondering,” 

It was as though he had prepared himself each time. I asked myself if I should continue to meet him like this even though I had no choice in the matter. But I didn’t have that many friends. At forty-four most of my friends were already married. 

Chapter 14

A person who was good looking knew that he was good looking. Number 5A Stuart was like that. It was no surprise that he worked in It was Good to be Back Story by Lee Su Min 10 the Japan Airlines as an air steward. I was also impressed by the fact that he spoke Japanese. 

One day hanging my clothes in the backyard I found a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. I took the jeans and examined it. It was large and clearly a man’s trousers. At the same time when I was unfolding it something dropped out of the jeans pocket – it was a passport! 

Curiosity got the better of me, and I immediately turned the pages to the biodata page to see to whom it belonged. It said, 

“Stuart Lin Chi An” 

I quickly put it back in the pocket for the document was semiwet soaked with water. It must have gone into the washing machine. Chances were that the apartment on top was sunning the pair of jeans and that it had fallen into our backyard from his. I pondered on the thought to return the passport back to the rightful owner. 

Hey wait! Stuart gave me the impression that he was Singaporean, and to all intents and purposes he spoke Singaporean English. But his passport was a Japanese passport! 

Did he have dual nationality? 

Chapter 15

As usual I found my way home after I had gone for some coffee. Coffee has become my source of food rather than rice, since the kitchen was no longer in operation for me. I usually started to count the steps once I was at the entrance of the estate. That was to make walking up to the fourth floor a less awesome task. 

“Mother, I am back!” I yelled, making myself sound as cheerful as I could. 

No reply. 

I walked further in, to her bedroom. Maybe Mother was sound asleep. But hey! Mother was gone. 

In panic, I rushed around the house to all the other rooms to see if she were elsewhere. But alas, no! 

Immediately I went to her room to see if her handphone was there. No, she did not bring it along with her, so that meant that she was uncontactable. I saw her Rosary. It was lying there right in front of me staring at me. Now I have no choice but to resort to using this as a tool to relieve stress. I picked up the rosary and started to meditate. I have been to the church I was seeing Father Jeremy Koh, so I knew how to pray the rosary. I have no other resource. I was her only child, I have no siblings to confide in. 

I sat in semi darkness for at least an hour before I heard the front door open and someone coming in. 

It was Christian.

Chapter 16

The threat of dying loomed over us. We knew that time was running out as we approached the ninth month. Dying has never been so real to me. I never encounter death. I never went near a dead person, so that I was still unable to comprehend the finality of it. But I loved Mother. Since my divorce I had depended entirely on Mother for emotional support. 

Today I opened one of Mother’s luggage. Inside was my marriage certificate. I wanted to confront her before I remembered that I had asked her to keep it for me. Since the divorce, I had left all It was Good to be Back Story by Lee Su Min 12 matrimonial articles with Mother, including my wedding ring. This was not something which I wanted to keep, but it was also a souvenir that most would find it hard to abandon. I wanted to ask Mother if I should inform my ex-husband to come in to see her, but that meant putting her in distress, so that I refrained. Mother was in a poorer state of health now, frail and almost without meat. I knew that she was deeply upset by the laboratory report, and we did take one week to recover from the shock. Why. She did everything that the doctor asked her to do, took all her medications. Yet her condition hasn’t improved. 

Chapter 17

It was the two figures in the back garden again. I decided not to intrude upon them. They were minding their own business, yet something compelled me to expose them as I felt that Suzanne ought to know about this, since the woman did not seemed to be her. Although I had no right to determine their actions, if what they did was wrong then I could call on the authorities. But so far I have no proof of any wrong doing unless I could prove that Mark was legally married to Suzanne, and for that I would have to procure their marriage certificate. That was definitely not within the scope of the duty of a neighbour. 

Chapter 18

I sought counselling with Father Jeremy Koh Soo Liang. 

“First of all, you must tidy up your religious belief. You have to decide which God suits you most …. Of course there are more than one God. But we the Protestants and the Catholics believe that there is only one God, which is Jesus Christ the Son of God.”

I pondered on his words and decided that it was too difficult to digest so that I went home and slept on it. When I woke up, I saw a rose by my pillow. 

I might have brought it home. 

I picked it up and brought it to a vase and added some water before putting the stock in. And then I had my coffee. The booklet which Father Jeremy Koh gave me stared at me from the table. I knew that I must see him again this week. 

But actually I had already decided on Buddhism, for it allowed me to believe that Mother would come back as another person after her departure. This was more acceptable than waiting for another ten twenty years before I could see her again in heaven. I told myself I was going to take my leave from Father Jeremy Koh. 

Chapter 19

Happiness was like perfume. When you wore some others would enjoy it too. So was illness, someone who was perpetually ill made bad company. I couldn’t say that I did not entertain the thought of leaving Mother. I was close to moving out. Mother was a different mother now. 

In cancer, there was no formula for cure, no formula for death either. Mother’s illness has progressed, meaning that the cancer has spread to her other organs. She was angry and often threw things around. Food was left on the table without her touching it. After she has ordered me about she felt vindicated, as though I were the cancer cells circulating in her body finding a nest to settle down. 

After scanning a five page report to Dr Chang Wai Mun our radiologist, I rested for a while. Mother had found yet another alternative health specialist who told her that there was cure. The thing was that Mother believed him, and that he had reasons to suggest so. But I myself was not so encouraged. I belonged to the old school of thought, that once you had cancer there was no cure. The issue lied in how much time you could bargain with God. I wanted to be by her side to say goodbye to her. I loved Mother and Mother loved me. 

Chapter 20

By chance I met Stuart with his suitcase. He was on one of his trips again. 

“Wait! How are you going to travel without your passport?” I asked. 

“Huh? What do you mean?” 

“I got your passport with me,” I said, non-categorially. 

Stuart did not reply. 

“Are you a Japanese or a Singaporean?” I couldn’t help but blurted out. 

“Oh, so the pair of jeans are with you … was looking high and low for it,” he muttered. 

“Listen, you seemed young and available, why don’t you come to Japan with me?” out of the blue he offered, and then he added, 

“ …. after your mother is gone …. so you can start a new life.” 

It seemed like an option has been presented to me. I asked myself if Mother was going to come back as Stuart. 

“You still have time to think about it, she … your mom … is not so seriously ill yet?” 

“I shall consider your proposal, thanks …” I replied. 

I did mention that Stuart was good looking, and that I would need someone. 

Chapter 21

As usual, I went out for some coffee to relieve myself. The kitchen was now primarily used for cooking food for cancer patients. Sugar has been prohibited and nowhere to be found, apart from salt and oil. The best part of the fridge the top compartment has been reserved for Vitamin C sachets purchased online ordered by Mother. 

Whenever I wanted to do some cooking I often found one or two ingredients missing. 

Later on in the day when I met Father Jeremy Koh again, I told him that I’d rather believe in Buddhism. 

“They believe in the theory of reincarnation, so that meant that Mother would come back after she’d been gone … in another person. This theory gives me a lot of comfort. I cannot accept the fact that I will never see her again,” I told Father frankly. 

“May God bless you.” Father has his final word. 

Chapter 22

“It is imperative to make amends with your mother before she died.” Dr Chang advised me before we left his consultation room today. I had no choice but to accommodate Mother in all of her demands.

Today I saw Mark and a woman on the car on my way back from the office. Mark was driving and the woman was putting on her lipstick. I could only see her profile. I tried to greet Mark from inside my car but he did not see me. And we still haven’t decided on when to water his plants yet.

Chapter 23

I found Mark’s umbrella at our shoe rack amongst our shoes. Did he abandon it? Or did he mean to leave it there temporarily? I looked at 4B and noticed for the first time that Mark and Suzanne didn’t have any furniture outside their apartment. 

Lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, it occurred to me that Mark might have wanted to find out how much I knew about his affair and to ask me to conceal it for him. 

I am still yet to confirm the identity of the woman. 

Chapter 24

I believed that both evil and goodness exist in the same realm. When someone was dying the evil would come and make an attempt to take him as well. But if the dying man was a good person, the angels would be able to take his soul up to heaven. 

The problem still lied with my religious belief. I didn’t want Mother, a staunch Catholic, to know that I have faith in other beliefs. To her, they were the lesser gods. 

But as luck have it, I couldn’t help the exchange on religion. Mother wanted her way. 

Today Mother suddenly said to me, “I have an appointment which I think I might be late, could you check for me?” 

“What appointment is that?” I asked immediately. 

“With The Almighty.” Mother said. 

I didn’t know why on this particular instance Mother choose not to call Him “God”. Nonetheless I entertained her. 

“Oh? You could go to Mass to look for Him,” I thought that Father Jeremy Koh might have told her of my decision to choose Buddhism.

“No, I want you to see Father Jeremy Koh with me to do an anointing,” Mother ordered me. 

This could confirm me as a Catholic, which was against my better judgement. I believed in Buddhism now. I have not abandoned God, just the mode on which He could be contacted. 

In order to lighten things I said, “Let me check with the Bible, I am sure they will tell us,” and then before I started to tear I walked out of Mother’s sight. I went into my room and sat on the chair for ten minutes, then I started to pray the rosary again. I had forgotten that it was a Catholic rosary. Tomorrow I shall go to the temple to purchase a Buddhist charm. 

Book B

Chapter 25

To eliminate someone from your system you must do so systematically and logically and control your urge to go back to him, if you think that it was a bad habit.

I have resolved not to go back to my ex-husband. Under normal circumstances, this was a scenario where exceptions could be made. After all bereavement was not something that happened every day. 

I buried Mother according to her Catholic faith, and I spoke to all the relatives and friends until everyone was satisfied that she has gone to heaven. 

Chapter 26

At night I woke up and I moved her belongings from one room to another, hoping to find them a resting place. At 3:00 a.m., I thought that I heard Mother calling me again. I didn’t know where she was, but I was certain that it came from her. The voice seemed to have come from outside, so that I opened the front door. And once I stepped out, there was no turning back. I have to find the source of the voice as it belonged to my late mother. 

I saw Mark and his girlfriend … and this time she looked like Suzanne. 

I saw Elaine and her golden retriever … 

I saw Lydia and Emma … 

I saw Tommy Lung … 

They were the same persons, but now they did not seem so connected to me. 

And then suddenly they vanished from my vision. I looked at the time, and instantly recognized that it was late after midnight. 

Chapter 27

Since Mother’s passing I have been living alone in a shell. Like a tortoise I came out by day when everyone else was having their lunch and sometimes when they were preparing for dinner. Mother was my best and only friend I have no other source of companionship. I shunned all my friends after my divorce. 

Again I opened Mother’s cupboard to see if I could dispose of some of her old clothes. Mother was a thrifty woman and she sewed her own apparels. I have not had a chance to learn that skill from her before she died. I picked up two pieces and I quickly kept it in my wardrobe. 

And then I moved her belongings from one room to another. I walked from Mother’s bedroom to mine, then to the kitchen, and then back to her room, before walking to my own bedroom to sit down and cry again. I never felt more alone. 

“Clang!” 

I knocked on the vase by the side and it fell down, the glass breaking into several pieces. The stock of rose also fell onto the floor. I picked up the pieces of broken glasses, and the rose, and I tried walking to the nearest dustbin, before I dropped everything onto the floor again. Then I went to the backyard to bring the mop to wipe the water that was in the vase. 

“Let me clean up the mess for you,” I heard a voice. 

Don’t tell me I am hearing voices … 

And then someone held my hand. I looked up, my eyes met with another. 

“I am back. Since your mom fell ill, I have been wanting to get in touch with you again. Your mom came to see me some time ago and told me to look after you when she was gone. And after having saw you that night I have decided that I would be most pleased to do so …” 

“And by the way I have taken care of the rent, you could stay here for as long as you want …”

“ … I have also spoken to Father Jeremy Koh, he said that since both of us are Catholics, we were never considered as having been divorced in the eyes of God.” 

It was Christian.

A woman in her law office ….

Chapter 1

If you got the impression that someone didn’t like you, chances were that you were right. And being nice to a person did not mean that she would be nice to you in return. Yes, Marcus knew all along that I didn’t like him. 

Marcus was a small looking man, a bit mousy looking. You could say that his complexion was slightly too dark in colour. His small beady eyes always looking sideways whenever he spoke, and he wore an oversized shirt that was crumpled and unbuttoned at the top. But that was not the reason why I didn’t like him. 

I had no choice but to deal with him as he was my client. He came to see me because his wife had walked out on him. 

The first thing Marcus said to me was, “I heard you are the best divorce lawyer in town.” 

That put me on guard straight away. I usually didn’t take compliments easily. If you said that I looked good, chances were that I didn’t believe you. I was just your girl next door and I couldn’t be plainer than plain Jane. 

Chapter 2

“If you are still after your enemy even when you have taken revenge, chances are that you still haven’t let go, and that meant that she or he has an emotional hold over you.” This is what I always told my client. The enemy of course I was referring to the spouse, either the wife or the husband. 

Chapter 3

On the second consultation, Marcus went straight to the point. 

“I hit her,” 

“My God! Was there any injury?” “I mean marks or blood stains … I assumed that you used your fists,” 

“I didn’t see, I was too shocked by my own behaviour,” 

“What did she do after that?” 

“She went downstairs, and I think she called her lover,” 

“So, there is no way in which you could run away with this?” 

“That’s why I am here for,” “I need your advice,” 

I opened my drawer to take out my pen and note book. And then I looked at the clock in front of me. The second hand was starting to tick now. I pretended that I was doing something but actually I wished my client hadn’t confessed that he had hit his wife. It made my job more difficult. If the confession came as an allegation from the other side I would deny it straight away. 

After about fifteen seconds, I looked up. Marcus was looking at me with pleading eyes, I think he wanted me to conceal the information for him. 

“Fine,” I said, without him saying more. 

“We just wait for the papers,” I said. 

“You mean Mei would file for divorce?” the mousy man in front of me said. 

“Obviously! Unless she has come back after that evening,” I assumed that he had hit her after one or two drinks. Men didn’t’ hit their wives when they were sober. No, not in this country. 

Chapter 4

This morning even before Evelyn had served the coffee, I asked my client who was sitting in front of me, 

“Where is she now?” I thought my client might have some idea. This would make my job easier. I would then know where I could send the divorce papers to, if the other party did not file papers. 

“I don’t know, when I went down she had already gone,” Marcus looked distressed. 

“Which means that she is not with you now?” I reiterated what I already knew. 

“No, I have been living alone since,” Marcus said. 

And then he added, “… and the clothes in the wardrobe seemed to be missing …” 

“Ah, she had been back to collect her belongings,” I remarked, and then I added, 

“Which means that she had decided to leave, which is good news.” 

“Or is it, bad news?” just to be sure that divorce is what this man wanted. 

“No, on the contrary, it is good news for me,” Marcus reaffirmed his sincerity. 

I looked at the mousy man. He had come to file for divorce. Of course, if he had wanted his wife back, he would have gone to a counsellor not a lawyer. 

“Do you remember why you hit her?” I looked Marcus straight in the eye. 

“I assumed no one saw it,” he avoided my question. And then he said, 

“Oh yes, the family pet … Kobe saw it ….” 

“That means no one saw you hitting her?” I corrected Marcus. 

“Err, yes, you are right … No, I did not hit Mei,” Marcus finally got it right. 

I began to probe further, “And may I ask you a pertinent question?” 

“What?” Marcus was by now beginning to trust me. 

“When was the last time you slept with your wife?” I put it forward very plainly. 

“No, I can’t remember, must have been a long time ago …” 

“Would you say more than three months ago?” I asked. 

“Oh yes, certainly, …. I remember that we fought on the eve of Christmas, today is …. fifth of May,” 

“Ok, that’s good. I don’t want her to come back and claim half of everything you own, and maintenance for her unborn child, then we would have to order a DNA,” 

“Oh, ok. But there was no evidence that she left on New Year’s Day?”

“That is why you need me to draft the affidavit for you,” I said. I was a lawyer.

Chapter 5

Having to conceal something was difficult but not particularly stressful. I have managed to hide five adulterous affairs and three family violence, so this was just small feat. To exonerate myself I visited the chapel every week, said fifteen decades of the Rosary, which was three rounds of the beads, and then I would leave for dinner at the Marriott Court.

I knew that God would pardon me. I was not a habitual liar, but for the purposes of my bread and butter I needed to keep my clients’ secret for them. Like if you were a priest you would have to carry the confessions of the sinners to your grave. 

Chapter 6

I always wondered how Mei looked like. My impression of her was that she was tall and attractive, and also well educated. After all Marcus was a professional, and a rich man. If he divorced Mei, she would stand to gain at least three million dollars as a lump sum pay out. She probably looked like Mona Lisa, or one of those models who advertised beauty products in a commercial. For some strange reason, I imagined her to be having flawless porcelain skin. 

Chapter 7

Waiting for someone to fire a shot was daunting and required a lot of patience. Marcus and I had nothing in common except waiting for Mei to serve us the papers. It was like waiting for it to rain. You knew that it had to rain but you didn’t know when. 

“If someone quarrels with you and refuses to make up, chances are that he has got some other plans,” I told Marcus. 

“I am almost hundred percent sure that Mei is otherwise engaged,” I probed further. 

“You mean she has found someone else?” Marcus was starting to look desperate. 

I saw that he didn’t want a divorce. Marcus just needed someone to talk to. So, it was my job now to persuade him to come around to the inevitable separation and eventual divorce. After all divorce was my bread and butter. 

Chapter 8

The worst thing that could happen in any case was when your client worked against you. He did just exactly what you told him not to do. It was not only frustrating but downright dangerous as well. He could suddenly make up with your opponent’s client and support their case. You ended up with a bad reputation because your client cheated on you. 

I specifically advised Marcus not to contact Mei. If Mei hadn’t filed for divorce that meant that there was still hope. But if Marcus moved then he might agitate Mei to do something else. I didn’t want Mei to go to the police. 

“Let’s confine this within the Family Court,” I put it to Marcus. 

Chapter 9

DPP Laurence rang me today. Laurence was one of the guys who worked at the attorney general’s office. He was the public prosecutor who argued that you should be fined or put to jail. He was also my ex colleague in law school and I could say that we were on pretty good terms. 

“Listen, I want you to act for a lady,” he began. 

“What is the charge?” I went straight to the point. 

“Assault and battery,” he made it sound simple. 

“Who was the attacker, in a public place?” I asked. 

“No, it’s her husband,” Laurence did not mince his words. 

“Oh, family violence,” I added. 

“Can you do a pro bono?” Laurence requested. 

“Certainly, just let me know when I can visit the woman.” I said, then further on, 

“I presume she is no longer living at home,” 

“Of course not, I will send you the file and then you would know where to find her.” Laurence did not waste too much time in talking to me. 

I put the phone down and then I asked Evelyn to bring me a cup of coffee. I needed it to set my thinking straight before I picked up one of my files and started to work again. 

And then I remembered that I had forgotten to ask Laurence for the name of my new client. 

Chapter 10

It rained and then it stopped raining. The sun was on the horizon but unable to make a full, bright presentation. I took Rover out for a walk then quickly came back in case it suddenly started to rain again. 

My client from DPP came to see me this morning. I wasted no time in talking to her. 

“He tried to kill me,” the first things she said. 

“Oh yeah, did he recently buy an insurance cover in your name?” I enquired. 

“Insurance?” woman looked blankly in my direction. I saw that and knew that she hasn’t woken up from her relationship with her husband. 

I looked at the file, and I found his name: DPP vs. Kevin Fong Li Choon. The police have taken over the matter and prosecuting the woman’s husband for abuse following a personal protection order against him. 

The couple stayed in a landed property in an expensive district, no signs that they were in financial difficulty. So that I could rule out the insurance bit. Then why did Kevin hit Nicole? Was he really intending to kill her? 

“Did he use any weapon?” I asked the woman sitting in front of me. 

“No, I said something that made him angry, and he just suddenly jumped up … used his hands to strangle me …” woman said. 

“So it is not premeditated,” I pinned the parameters. 

Chapter 11

Evelyn came to work in a bright red dress this morning. I let her make my usual coffee for me but I wondered what the occasion was. 

“What’s up?” I asked, casually. 

“I am having a reunion dinner with my ex-classmate tonight,” she replied, nonchalantly. 

I assumed that the ex-classmate was a woman. 

Evelyn was my right hand, she greeted me with a cheerful smile every morning when I came in, she prepared my coffee, as well as ordered lunch from the nearby Fishermen’s Court so that I could relax a little in midday. I depended on her for files, as only she knew where they were being kept. My appointments were also scheduled by her, as she kept my diary. I spent all my time and energy at my work, with no time for social life, yes, you were right, I was single. 

Chapter 12

I have no weaknesses for men, but I have a special weakness for jewellery – rings especially, as it was something that I could see when I was wearing it, unlike a pendant. So, whenever I was free, I would pop in at Crown 1983. They have a small collection of fine jewellery. I browsed around, and I always came to an emerald ring. It was square and large, set within 2 medium-sized diamonds. The band was also set in diamonds. I told myself to hold on as it was somewhat expensive. 

But today I have decided to make a purchase, I have been thinking too much of the emerald ring. And since I have taken on these two new cases, it should bring me at least thirty thousand dollars. I wanted to be able to enjoy the emerald ring at my own leisure and kept it in my own safe at the office, rather than having to come in toCrown 1983. I might not wear it though, as it looked very expensive. Michael the salesman I was sure was also tired of seeing me every week without any fruitful purpose. I have not been asking to see any other pieces.

Chapter 13

To tell you the truth, as I told you before, for one reason or another, I did not like Marcus. The fact that he had hit his wife did not make me like him more. As I said, men didn’t usually hit a woman – they were of a weaker sex. I wanted to know exactly why. What precipitated the argument, and why Marcus would hit a lovely wife like Mei – unless she has committed adultery. So that I have decided to do a PI report on Mei. For this I needed to get Marcus’s permission, the PI would need some form of interest. You couldn’t just walk into Spider’s Bureau and ask for a report. 

Chapter 14

I made my own coffee today. My Nespresso was bright red in colour and was placed at the corner together with two pots of small money plants. They said that money plants bring in good luck, so I’d rather err on the side of caution. The plants were also easy to maintain and didn’t need a lot of sunlight. 

Shits! I forgot to wash the froth maker for the milk!

I unplugged the jug, brought it to the sink, then I remembered the emerald ring that I bought yesterday. I suddenly had a strong urge to look at it. It was still in my bag. I decided to take out the little parcel and unwrapped it to admire the piece. 

Ooh la la! It was gone! 

The parcel was gone! Not inside my bag! Shocked, I couldn’t believe my eyes! I was sure that Michael passed me the parcel yesterday. My habit whenever I arrived at the office was to go to the Nespresso to make a cup of coffee and that day I was too busy answering an incoming call at the same time. 

My first reaction was to pick up my iPhone to ring Crown 1983 immediately but hey, for loss of personal property, the proper channel to report to should be the police, not the jeweller who sold you the gem. But fact was that I didn’t see the emerald ring being packed inside. 

There were two possibilities: either Michael cheated me, or that someone stole it from me subsequently. Both of which were not a prospect I looked forward to. I sat down on the carpeted floor and stared blankly at my bag, a Louis Vuitton, my mind stopped working suddenly. 

Chapter 15

Someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around straight away. It was Marcus. 

“Why are you here?” I asked, not too friendly. 

“You looking for something?” he seemed to know that I have lost my precious emerald. 

Zeep! I zipped up my LV straight away. I didn’t want more people to know of my misfortune. 

“Mei has filed for divorce,” the mousy looking man announced, speaking over my shoulder as I was still sitting on the floor. 

“Oh that’s good news,” I tried to make myself sound cheerful although it was difficult at this point in time. 

“To get rid of your wife, you really need some skill,” the man continued. I could see that he was considerably cheerful, not to mention relief. 

“Huh? You were hoping for a divorce?” I said. 

“Yes, I want her to do the filing, so that on record I did not initiate it,” 

“Why is that so?” I pursued. 

“We were married in church, the community is very small … if I am known to have divorced my wife … they would not like me very much,” Marcus elaborated. 

A devil pretending to be a saint! I thought to myself, I told you that I didn’t like Marcus. This gave me another ground for my not liking him. I got up from the floor, went to the desk, and pulled the chair out for Marcus. 

“Sit down,” I said. 

“Yes of course,” the man sat down obediently. 

“Now, we need to know exactly how much money you have,” I told my client. 

“The house was bought in joint names,” he lamented, as I detected a note of regret. 

“So she has half,” I put it to him. 

“The bank accounts are also in joint names,” client said. 

“Do you have anything that you own without her?” I quizzed.

Now I have forgotten entirely about my emerald ring. 

I gave Marcus a piece of paper, “write your assets down, try not to miss anything, you would be surprised that she knows more about your money than you yourself.” I warned my client. 

Then I got up and went to the Nespresso, and gave myself more caffeine. 

Chapter 16

No one knew where my emerald ring was, neither did Michael. When I went back to see him, he was prepared to swear on the Bible that he packed it faithfully. 

“We have a reputation to protect?!” “How could we do such a thing?! – to pretend to sell?! – I thought I packed it right in front of you?!” Michael was adamant. I was afraid to offend him, so I quickly apologised – “Must have been my mistake,” I confirmed. 

My Christian friends always told me that whenever you lost something, the best person to pray to for its retrieval was Saint Anthony. The Saint is known to be working for the “lost and found department”. 

I had no other solution but to resort to divine intervention. After all, the circumstances upon which the gem was lost was really quite inexplicable. It had to be one of the two possibilities. 

Chapter 17

Thinking of Marcus’s case I couldn’t fall asleep, so I took the Grab and arrived at the office just after midnight. I opened the wooden door as usual, the door was slightly jammed, and then I was surprised to find that the lights in my room was on. Did I forget to switch it off when I left earlier in the evening? 

I lay the suspicion aside, and proceeded to go to my desk. I took out my note book from the drawer, and I opened the file marked “Soon Yee Mei vs. Marcus Wong Kai Fong”. I wanted to put myself in the shoes of Marcus, and argued on his behalf. But fact was that Mei was a woman, so I could sympathise with her. Men were not supposed to hit women, no matter how provoked they were. Although I represented Marcus, I could not play judge. I knew that my prejudice was not helping me. 

Marcus’s file was always on the top as it was my latest case. I opened my Mac, got the document from Desktop, and then I started typing from where I left off: 

“A violent man is not always violent … the defendant was a family man who provided for his wife adequately, at no time did he entertain the thought of using force on his wife. The incident arouse purely out of anger and disappointment, that despite everything that he did, his wife went ahead and entered into an extra-marital affair …” 

Having satisfied with my opening lines, I printed it out and looked for the file to keep the hard copy. The file was on top as this was the most current case at the moment. But … hey! … my file was not there!! 

There was no one in the office. Evelyn has left for the day, and I remembered that I locked the door earlier on in the day. No one could have come in. Evelyn didn’t have to surrender the keys before she left the office for the day. So she could still come in. But why would she want the file? There was no motive. 

There was a thief loitering in the office! My suspicion was confirmed. And again the culprit had to be Evelyn. But I didn’t want to alert Evelyn yet. I was going to install CCTV, and caught her red handed. 

This would be better than reporting loss to the police. After all, it was just my statement. No one could confirm, apart from myself, that I had some stolen files, and an emerald ring. I have to be very careful. 

Chapter 18

I didn’t know who Mei’s lover was. I had to get more evidence in order to help Marcus. I was certain that Marcus knew the information but that he chose not to reveal it to me. Maybe he was ashamed of it, maybe he thought that giving the name of his wife’s lover to me wouldn’t help his case. I decided to wait. 

To end a relationship there must be mutual agreement on both sides. Now only one party to the marriage wanted to leave. And to exhibit this intention, Mei had actually left the matrimonial home. The door was open for both sides to file for divorce. If nothing happened the marriage could be dissolved in three years’ time under “irreconcilable differences” that the parties were no longer living in the same household. Marcus didn’t want a divorce for sure. It was I, the divorce lawyer who wanted it. If the parties got back together I would have no case to work on. I was not hard up for money, neither was I the other woman waiting to marry Marcus once he was divorced. 

But since it was my bread and butter I had to work at it. 

Chapter 19

Life was in passing, we have memories, we have photographs. The photographs, we used it as hard copy when our memories failed us. I decided to ask Marcus for a photograph of Mei, and then once I obtained this, I would persuade him to allow me to hire a PI to look into Mei’s affairs. I was hundred per cent sure that she was having a lover outside, for otherwise she would not have the means and courage to stay away for so long. It had been at least five months by now. 

Spider’s Bureau had managed to produce a photograph of Mei with a man. But that was all. A woman and a man standing together, side by side, with nothing to prove that they slept together, either immediately before or immediately afterwards.

Chapter 20

Marcus was getting impatient. I could see that he wanted some certainty. To wait three years was a long time. But certainty was finality. I saw that, and I said, “Unless you have evidence of her adulterous behaviour, you cannot divorce her.” 

“Did you confront her?” I asked him point blank without even having established the fact of an adultery. 

“No, I dare not,” Marcus gave a helpless look. 

“When she lost her temper, I got into a frenzy,” he attempted to explain. 

“Why do you bother, you are the bread winner,” I tried to tell him to be brave. I haven’t been told then that Mei brought in more money to the marriage. 

“No, I have to deal with it, as otherwise I would carry it to the next day,” “I can’t afford to lose concentration at work.” Marcus’s reason. 

Chapter 21

I couldn’t sleep again tonight. As usual I found myself back in the office. 

Then I walked passed the Nespresso table, heading straight towards my room. At the other end I saw the lights on and the door ajar. 

Don’t tell me I forgot to switch off the lights! … 

… And then I heard some noises. The sound was not loud enough for me to identify the speakers. Nevertheless, it warranted some investigation. I followed the trail of the voices and found myself standing right in front of the conference room. 

“Don’t go yet, I haven’t eaten,” 

“We need to leave soon, in case she comes back,” 

“Don’t worry, she never does, I know her pattern,” the female voice. 

“I go first, don’t forget to lock the front door … and leave the file back on her desk …” 

The voices quietened, and I quickly walked back into my own room. 

I looked at my iPhone, the time was 2:20 a.m., too late to go home to sleep and too early for work. All the restaurants and hawker centers were closed by now. I stayed in my own room, preferring to let the uninvited guests to decide for themselves what they wanted to do. My office is a law office, other than a few series of law books and an antique wall clock, I have nothing for them to take, assuming that they were thieves. But from the conversation I heard earlier, it seemed that money was not what they were after. They were just here for a good time. 

I inclined my chair and tried to relax a little. Marcus’ case was difficult to handle. I have no idea what my client really wanted. Was it a divorce? Or was he merely trying to save money on the alimony? But now I was quite certain that it was a divorce he wanted. He seemed happy when we received the affidavit from Mei. 

My mind drifted to Evelyn as I knew that she had found a boyfriend. Otherwise she won’t be dressing so well these days. Maybe I should make her do overtime and see how she responded. I thought I was a little jealous of Evelyn. 

By the time I decided to leave the office, it was time for breakfast. I went out of my room, checked that the conference room was empty, before I locked myself out of the office. No one was inside the conference room at the time. 

Chapter 22

If you found that you were doing something incriminating and you tried to conceal it, that meant that you were sound. 

I found my missing file on top of the coffee table, where I would usually get my coffee from, as sometimes I would help myself. I told myself I could have left it there by mistake, but actually on the other hand I was pretty sure that it was missing since the night I came back. However no harm was done as nothing was missing from the file. At most the thief just saw my draft affidavit. I couldn’t even call him a thief, since he didn’t take anything. 

I let the file sit at the coffee table, and I asked Evelyn to bring me the “Marcus File”. She merely said, 

“I saw it just now, you brought it out,” and without another word from her, the file came to my table. 

I wanted to confront her but then I realised that I had no proof of her taking it from my desk. I might just incur her wrath, for after all I wasn’t paying Evelyn a very high salary. 

So then I was happy to continue with my affidavit:

…. We mustn’t always assume that the one who used force was at fault. The victim could well be the indicter, you have to look behind the circumstances that induced the scene. Mei was undoubtedly an attractive woman, and had committed adultery in the eyes of my client. He confronted her and she refused to address his concerns. If she wasn’t unfaithful she could easily have said no. Instead she abused my client by calling him a bastard. These are not kind words you tell your provider. Although she has brought in a certain amount of funds when she married my client, but due to her spending habits, the funds are now depleted ….

Chapter 23

To gain a person’s trust, you have to do it slowly and over a long period of time. Evelyn was my right hand man, and I trusted her completely. I saw no reason why she would want to betray me. Although her salary was not very high, the job was cushy. She came in past nine every day, and left the moment she felt that she has finished her job. Me, on the contrary, made my own coffee if she were late, and was usually the one who locked up the office. I never once reprimanded Evelyn for anything that she did, rightly or wrongly. 

So that even if I was a little unhappy about the file incident, I let it be. I’d rather prefer to think that it was simply misplaced. 

But I decided to go back to the office this morning at 1:00 a.m. I wanted to know if the uninvited guests whom I heard the voices from came back to my office again. If they made my conference room their regular venue for rendezvous, I thought I have a right to charge them a fee. For after all if you checked into a hotel, a decent room would cost you at least three to four hundred dollars. 

True enough, the room was occupied. The door was shut tight, and I remembered that I left it wide open before I logged out from the office. I could hear traces of laughter as I went nearer. I almost wanted to open the door when I heard one of them saying, 

“Be careful, she might find out that you took it,” 

“She went into her room straight away, and there is no CCTV here, so she can’t possibly accuse me of it,” 

“But I am surprised you knew that there was a parcel inside,” “She wrote it down in her diary – Guan 1983 – and I just tried my luck,” 

“Clever job! You never spoke to her in Chinese?” 

“God no! This is a law office, not the Chinese Chamber of Commerce,” the lady said. 

“ ….. ” 

And then they were quiet again. I assumed that the man is on top of the woman by now. I quickly walked to my room to hide inside for I didn’t want either of them to know that I was privy. Immediately I thought of installing CCTV to monitor the moments in my office. But of course by then it was too late. 

I knew that if I went to the Police the first thing the officer would ask me is where I got the item from in the first place. I could prove possession by just getting Michael to support my report. But how could I prove that Evelyn had taken it? 

My purpose was to get the emerald ring back, not to prosecute Evelyn. I was a lawyer, I knew the law of evidence. I had to have hard evidence to show that my second man has taken the liberty of stealing my property. And also that I must prove that I have sufficient funds to make the purchase. I knew where I kept my income tax file, it was in the safe. Immediately I walked into my room to the safe to see if I could retrieve the document. 

And then my mind clicked, I suddenly remembered where I left my parcel with the emerald ring. I had gone for coffee after I came out of Michael’s shop. I ordered an Expresso Macchiato and was sitting at the table with two chairs, the waiter asked me to make myself comfortable taking the parcel out of my hand, putting it on the seat beside me. And then after coffee I was in a hurry to get back to the office … OMG! I left the parcel at Happy Café!

I knew that I could not go back to retrieve the parcel now, it has been a week. The answer was clear now, I have lost the gem. No one would return it to me even if he had found it. Although I couldn’t possibly say that the waiter was a culprit, he certainly was keen on taking the parcel off my hands. Again, this called for the law of evidence. I have no hard evidence that someone stole my parcel, it would have been impossible to demand Happy Café to show me their CCTV recordings for the entire week. Why should they? What right have I got? I was a lawyer, so I knew straight away that I had no case.

Chapter 24

I almost tripped when I tried to answer the call. It was Marcus. Usually after a few consultations, I would give my clients my mobile line so that they could contact me after office hours, and for this service I charged them at twice the billable hourly rate. 

I was not expensive, just efficient. 

“Hello Marcus, what can I do for you? ” I have keyed in my client’s name as one of the contacts. 

“She took Kobe … can you get him back for me?” 

“Wait! You mean you lost your pet?” 

“No … she took him ….err, yes, Kobe is not in the house.” 

“Ok, I come right now?” I dropped everything and ordered a Grab to Park Avenue. 

“What number?” driver asked. 

“I will tell you when we arrive at the road,” I wasn’t sure if my client was waiting for me inside his house. 

The road was dark and I thought that the street lamps were too few and far in between. One of the lamps has also fused. Nevertheless I found the poor man standing outside his house on the main road. I dropped off immediately. 

“How can you be so sure that she took your pet?” first thing I asked. 

“Kobe is not in the house,” 

“Have you thought that he might have ran away, or that someone else took your pet?”

“The maid said she came back … and then when I came home he was gone …” 

“Calm down,” I said. 

I let the man settle down, and then I took him by the side, gently nudging him back to his own home. 

The house was empty. 

I took the seat in the middle of the living room by the side of the coffee table. 

My client was more composed now, he looked slightly better under the chandelier. Chandeliers were bright and exquisite. I wanted to ask for a glass of water. 

“Want some tea?” client asked. 

“No, actually all I need is a glass of water,” in my mind I was wondering how to turn this meeting into a consultation so that I could charge the man. 

If I took the offer of a drink that meant that we were having a social gathering. 

Marcus walked away, I assumed he went to take me the glass of water. 

Almost immediately the man came back, a crystal glass in his hand. I took the glass, and Marcus took over the conversation. The man suddenly dished out something from his trouser pocket, went down on his knees, and he said, almost in a whisper, 

“Would you marry me?”

I heard him, but I couldn’t believe my ears, what was this man saying? Was he insane? 

“Since I first met you, I have set my eyes on you, you are a beautiful woman, and you helped me to forget about Mei,” he said. 

I saw his face, his beady eyes looking straight at me, I could see that he wasn’t joking, but in order to avoid his proposal, I had to say, 

“Sorry Marcus, what are you doing? I am not Mei,” 

I pretended that I did not know what he was doing. Waiting for him to get up on his knees, I took the glass which he just gave me earlier on, and sipped at it. 

The man sensed that his enthusiasm wasn’t met. He got up from his knees, slowly and quietly kept his box, and as slowly and quietly he turned and sat himself on the sofa. Once he was seated I went back to the main topic, which was why I came here for in the first place, 

“Does Kobe have a collar?” I asked. 

“No, he has no dog collar, so even if someone found him, they won’t know that he belonged to me,” my client pulled a long face. 

He does recover quite fast! 

Marcus was remarkable. He sounded so desperate just now. I made sure that I gave him a piece of advice before I called it a day. This was to ensure that I could bill him for my trip here tonight. 

“The dog is one of the matrimonial properties, if you have genuinely lost it she cannot claim for it. Go and make a police report tomorrow morning.” And in case my client was still worried, I added, 

“No worries, Kobe is a dog, he won’t talk.” She I was of course referring to his wife Mei. By now we need not mention our opponent by name. 

With this, I walked out of Park Avenue and into the darkened street. For once, I couldn’t find my own shadow. The street lamps were fused. I wanted to go back to the office, but decided to deviate to Happy Café to have a hot drink, I needed to digest what Marcus did tonight. It was certainly out of character. 

At Happy Café after two camomile teas, I decided that Marcus was just teasing me. He couldn’t have fallen for me. As I said, I was plainer than plain Jane. But if he did, he was certainly very quick about it. Imagine, marrying the lawyer who did the divorce for him. The story could go into the front page news. Come to think of it, I haven’t had time to read the evening paper yet. 

Chapter 25

I went home, unable to know what to do. Marcus had changed the perimeters. If I had accepted his proposal just now, he would have become my fiancée straight away, which made me the wrong person to act for him, since there would be a conflict of interest. Should I discharge myself? 

I couldn’t sleep, but I didn’t go back to the office this time. 

I let the sound of the author from one of the books in Audible lulled me to sleep. In the morning I woke up having finished the entire book without knowing it’s content. I must admit that I do have a sleeping problem. 

I was very surprised by Marcus’ behaviour. What game was he trying to play? Whose heart was he after? 

By now I have made up my mind not to handle Marcus’s case anymore. He was flippant, slippery and mousy. My impression of him remained unchanged. I decided to draft a letter to him to discharge myself, 

“Dear Mr. Yap, ….” I began. 

And then my iPhone rang. A voice on the other side, “Your client is now warded in the Black Forest Institute, we require you to present yourself at the reception to check her in,” it was urgent and loud, unmistakably from a police officer. 

But which client? Whose client? I lost my mind for a moment. I had been working on Marcus’s case day and night, I was still at the part where Kobe disappeared. Automatically I said, 

“Hello, this is Daphne Chong, who is this?” 

“You must come down straight away, you have to sign the papers for admission and discharge,” the police officer said. 

I dropped my phone, went to put on my jacket as the weather has just turned chilly. And then after a distance away I realized that I had forgotten to lock my office. Being absent minded was one of my habits nowadays, not character flaw but just bad organization. 

Chapter 26

At least five people were waiting for me when I arrived. I went straight up to Nicole, 

“He hit you again?” 

The woman looked at me, raging, 

“Why did you hit me?” she asked. 

I looked at her firmly, “Pardon, I didn’t hit you,” I said. Of course, I didn’t hit her. 

There were two police officers around, I knew I had to defend myself, so immediately I said again, 

“No, I didn’t touch you, this is only the second time I am seeing you, Madam,” 

One of the officers looked at me with a queer expression on his face, 

“You a legal counsel?” he asked. 

“Yes?” I saw no harm in admitting that. 

“This lady has lost touch with reality, so that if you can be her guardian, we will be in touch with you from time to time, until she is off the hospital grounds,” officer said. 

Of course I consented. This was my bread and butter.

Chapter 27

The next morning when I woke up the first thought that came to my mind was to visit Nicole. She had been taken ill and she would require some form of help, most probably a listening ear. Her husband had hit her. But of course she was ill so her testimony might be doubtful. I told myself I had to get her well. 

I had no problem gaining access into the hospital grounds when I showed my name card. I also brought along papers that showed that I was the patient’s caregiver.

Nicole was happy to see me. She had already been changed into her hospital clothes and she looked refreshed, probably because she has taken the first dose of her medication. I was surprised that she could recognise me. 

“Hello Ms Daphne, nice to meet you,” she said. 

“Yes, nice to meet you too,” I said, followed by, 

“How was breakfast?” not a silly question. 

“Noooo,” she replied, “I couldn’t eat the bread because it was not toasted,” 

Huh? What did she mean? 

“I only eat toast,” she added. So I asked her if she slept well, but she didn’t seem to remember how many hours she slept. But fact was that she looked rested. I knew that she would recover, and then I would be able to get the alimony for her. I have a reputation to protect. I have managed to secure a seven thousand dollar monthly maintenance together with a three million dollar pay out. 

I adjusted my blouse and then I told Nicole that I will be coming in to see her again the next day. She looked at me, a little blankly, and then she smiled shyly. I walked out of the hospital with confidence knowing that Nicole would soon be able to see me in my office soon. This was one hospital where there was no mortuary as no one actually died inside. Unless of course it was suicide. But the patients were all sedated and the windows were grilled so that there was no chance of any successful attempts. 

Chapter 28

I might as well confess to you now that I do have a problem with sleeping. Often I turn and toss in bed without being able to fall asleep immediately. Tonight was the same. And this time I really didn’t want to go back to the office. The two uninvited guests I was sure must have been in the office again. 

I wanted to charge them for using my office premises to conduct their affair, but I was too afraid to confront them directly. If I were to change the front door lock, Evelyn would have to know as I would need to give her a duplicate since sometimes she reported to the office earlier than I. 

I was in a dilemma. 

I was going to lose a client and a secretary. 

Chapter 29

But first and foremost I continued with my letter of discharge: 

“Dear Mr Marcus Yap, In the light of the recent circumstances and after much consideration, I am unable to continue to act as your attorney, and would therefore like to discharge myself with immediate effect. I wish you all the best in your pursuit.” 

I wanted to add the words “of happiness”, after the words “in your pursuit”, and “the recent circumstances” I did not elaborate. Marcus must know what I was referring to. His display of affections in his house the other night was most unwelcomed and out of character. I doubted if it was genuine. If it were, then Marcus must have been mad! 

I waited for his response. But nothing came. I even forwarded all my incoming calls from my office line to my iPhone. Eventually when I couldn’t contain the suspense any longer, I made Evelyn draft out a bill and send it to Marcus’s address at Park Avenue. If he could afford to buy me an engagement ring, surely he could afford to pay for my consultation fees! 

But fact was that I somewhat regretted having rejected his offer. I should have let him show me the engagement ring first, and then decided based on how expensive the gift was. After all the price could be used to ascertain his sincerity. I was nearing late thirties, if I did not marry now, the chances of it happening was almost nil. Besides, I was working every day, and the people whom I met was either a prospective criminal, an intending divorcee, or simply an angry man who had a vendetta against someone. I was not about to enter into any relationship with them. 

Chapter 30

Marcus was gone from my life. So were the two uninvited guests. I never saw nor heard from them again. My letter to Park Avenue was sent by registered mail and I checked that it was properly delivered. The bill Evelyn had sent via email, so there was no chance of it being lost, unless Marcus did not access his account. But that was only two thousand and twenty dollars so that I could write it off as bad debt in the event that he refused to pay. I still have other clients and oh yes, Nicole! 

Nicole was most pathetic. The consultant psychiatrist reported that she suffered a heart attack and died within the hospital grounds. And that Kevin came to pick up her body and promptly buried her. It seemed that he too, like Mei, was having an extra-marital affair. 

Yes, Mei! What has happened to Marcus? 

No one knew, and I think even if they knew they won’t want to tell me. I went into Spider’s Bureau again, but this time to check out on my client. What was my interest in this matter? 

None. 

I was merely a jealous ex-solicitor. When Evelyn came to tender me her resignation this evening, her right hand had a large emerald ring glaring at my face. Square and large, set within two medium-sized diamonds, the band was also set in diamonds. 

“From my fiancée,” she merely said. 

“And who is the lucky guy?” I asked, when I already knew the answer. 

“Oh you won’t remember him, Marcus.” Evelyn replied, her smile not showing any of her teeth. 

Damn! So that was the ring that Marcus tried to give me the other night!! 

“Oh yeah, what happened to the bill?” I suddenly remembered.

“He didn’t respond, so after two months, I took the initiative to go to his house to look for him, that was the time he proposed to me.” Evelyn knew I wanted the story. 

By now I thought you must have guessed who the two uninvited guests in my conference room were. Evelyn was lying under her teeth. It was she and Marcus. But that also meant that she was sound. For if she confessed to the theft I would have reported the matter to the police right away. 

But then I never got the impression that Evelyn didn’t like me. If you didn’t get the impression that someone didn’t like you, chances were that you might have been wrong.