We are born with a set of parents, a set of relatives. We can’t pick our parents and certainly not our siblings. Neither can we pick our cousins since our parents do not pick their siblings. But no one can harm you except yourself, and of course your trusted friend.
Robert lives in an old European house with an attic. The house is three storeys, and he often wonders into the kitchen late into night to steal a glass of whisky or two. Cherie his wife will clean up after he has gone back to sleep.
The next day he wakes up sober without a clue as to how many glasses of whisky he has taken, and whom he has spoken to when he was in the kitchen.
As he took the car out for a breeze and coasted the lanes before bringing it home and parking it at the garage, he went in through the backdoor to the kitchen. Once inside, he surveyed the place and found that he had a new visitor. He took out his slippers and almost used his bare hands to hit at it when it slithered away. And then just before he could kill the lizard, a woman pushed open the door.
She was not supposed to come. It was too late in the evening, and Robert had already closed shop for the day.
She followed me in the car ride. Robert thought to himself.
Flabbergasted, Robert dropped his slippers on the floor, and he gave the woman a wry smile.
“Err … I am afraid we are closed.” Robert said.
“There is nothing to be afraid of,” the lady began, “I merely wanted a cup of coffee,”
“Not at this time of the night, liz,” Robert almost said lizard, then, “Madam, anyway we don’t serve coffee,” he said. He was actually afraid that the stranger would linger on for an extended period of time. Cherie still has to mop the floor, after cleaning the tables.
And the used glasses were still in the sink.
Robert moved to the wall, automatically he turned on the lights, and then he gave Robert time to sit down.
Then Robert went to the fridge and asked, “Orange or Perrier?”
“Orange,” the stranger replied.
“Why not Perrier?” Robert asked.
“Because I wanted sweet,” the lady said.
“Ice?” Robert asked again.
The woman hesitated, and then she said, “two cubes,”
Obediently Robert used the tongs to pick up the remaining two nicely formed cubes, and then he brought the ice tray to the sink, adding more water to refill.
The water flowed without them speaking a word to each other, and then Robert became less irritated.
Three minutes later the woman opened his mouth, “why are you living alone?”
“Who said I was alone?” Robert told her. And then, “how long have you been stalking me?”
“Hey man! This is the first time I am seeing you, stalking? This seems outrages!” But then she added, “not long,” he said, “long enough to see that you sleep on a single bed,”
“Oh, you have supersonic eyes,” Robert said, the lights shinning on his glass.
She must have gone to the other parts of the house before she came into the kitchen. Robert thought to himself.
Robert knew that he had to entertain the woman, since he had forgotten to lock the back door.
“Why did you follow me?” he asked.
The woman stood up, took another sip of the orange juice, then she walked to the mirror.
“Don’t you want to know my name?” she said, before taking two steps away. And then, “I think you can’t remember me,” now she turned to look at Robert.
“Of course I can’t remember. I have never met you in my entire life,” Robert retorted. He disliked people claiming to have met him when in fact they had no idea whom they were.
The woman took three steps; this time she was closer.
“It took me four years to come out of prison,” she said.
Automatically Robert asked, “With or without good behaviour?”
“It doesn’t matter, the important thing is, I am out now,” the woman said.
“And you have come here to take your revenge. What gave you the courage to?” Robert began.
“You know, … “the woman continued, standing tall in front of Robert.
“What?” Robert stood up as well.
Chapter 2
“By the way, how did you end up in prison?” Robert became curious with her story.
The woman suddenly turned violent. She smashed the whisky glass onto the floor, spilling the orange liquid on the carpet.
Cherie was upstairs. She heard and she came down.
“Let me clean this up for you,” hurriedly she took the vacuum cleaner out and dragged it around the wet spots, in an attempt to suck up all the splintered pieces.
And then Robert turned to the woman again.
“What is her name?” the lady asked, pointing to his wife.
“My wife? I can’t remember,” Robert at once became protective over his wife.
“Ok, then what is the name of your helper?” the woman changed Cherie’s status.
Currently, Cherie has already finished cleaning the spot.
And for a while the three of them just stood there in a triangle without saying a word. Cherie holding the vacuum cleaner.
Chapter 3
Robert was told that he was able to find cure by going to the St. Peter’s Church in Malaysia.There was a pastor there who would be able to help him. Before he left, the tour guide told him that the sanctuary was not visible from the main road. He would have to search for it after he has reached the sign board which says, “My Sanctuary”.
Therefore, when he saw the board, he told the bus driver to stop and then as the bus cruised away, he walked until he saw a building. It did not have a cross on top of the building, He wondered if it were a church. And then he followed the trail of the footsteps on the muddy path and paused before he stepped into the large brick house.
It had been raining with no end in sight, and the bench in the flat garden had patches of water. Robert used his shirt to wipe it off before he sat down.
There was a bottle of whisky on the floor by the foot, and he grabbed at it, then found that the bottle was empty.
He took it as a hint to go into the sanctuary to pray without further delay.
But he was still resistant to the idea of stepping into a church. So that he clasped his hands together and started to pray there and then. No one was around. Robert told himself that he mustn’t stop until someone came to him. It was a crazy idea. On a quiet evening like this without a soul, who would come?
Even if they had seen him, they might not talk to him, as he was a stranger to the land.
After a few minutes when he had exhausted all conversations with the Almighty, he felt no choice but to enter the sanctuary.
The moment he sat down, a woman came in from the exit to the pew and stopped him from moving further left. And then subsequently another couple came in from the right side to stop him from walking out.
When he was a little bored, he started talking to the lady on the left.
“Have you had your breakfast?” he asked.
“Why, no!” Looking horrified, she replied, “you are not supposed to eat before you come.”
“May I have your name please,” Robert asked. He was a stranger, and he wanted to make some friends. This will help him decide how long he would stay here. He has sufficient funds to last him for another three weeks. If he can’t get a companion, he would move on to another town.
“You know, I am here for the first time,” Robert ventured, “you are pretty …
“We cannot afford to be draconian,” she began.
“Cruel? In what way am I cruel?” he asked.
“You will know what I mean at the end of your stay,” she replied whilst taking her Rosary out.
“Nice beads you have there,” he attempted further conversation, he wanted to get to know her.
“I am grieved that you have so little confidence in me,” she replied.
That put Robert off guard and scared him out of his wits. “This statement came out from nowhere. Is she sane?” he questioned.
“Stop flaring up at me,” she turned to look at him.
“Oh, I think it’s the fan, it’s blowing in your direction,” he replied. Something must be wrong with her. He thought. He decided to give her time to correct herself.
“Now that I have got your attention, won’t you send me home after the service?” she decided to offer him a chance to her address.
“Any parents?” he asked. He wanted to know what her liability was, the fact that she was already a resident in this town is an asset.
“No, I have a mom, and she has already found her abode in heaven,” the lady shredded a tear.
“And that’s why you are here?” he continued with the conversation.
“Err … yes, and to make some new friends … “ she said softly.
“Can I be your friend?” immediately he followed suit.
“Dong! Dong! Dong!” Suddenly the church bell rang.
“Fire!!!” Someone shouted, and all the parishioners rushed out of their pews and went to the open ground, before falling down the steps. Some instead chose to fall onto the ground and started to pray.
Robert grabbed the lady by the hand and they too followed the masses and finally as they left the compound, he turned to look at her.
It was a different woman!
He felt let down. He wanted the more pretty lady but instead he got an older woman. Frustrated, he asked the new lady for her name.
“Oh, you can call me Mary,” she said.
“Mary, Mary what?” he asked.
“Mary. Just Mary,” she replied.
“Oh my God!” he said, “I knew a Mary Sarah before,” he carried on, “she was my helper,” confident that no one knew that he took her cheque.
“I am not she, you know right?” this Mary said.
“But you have the same name,” he reminiscent.
“But this time you are my helper,” woman responded, “you helped me out of the church,” “in other words, you saved my life,” and then she pulled his hand up to her chin and she started to kiss his hand.
“Whoa, whoa,” he pulled his hand away, angry that this was not the first woman. And then a car pulled up in front of them. The driver poked his head out,
“Back to the town?” he asked.
“Yes, of course,” Mary said. Reluctantly Robert followed her on what seemed to be the only available cause of action.
After what seemed to be eternity, with his mind still thinking of whether he would want to spend more money on this town before he headed for home.
Home is still the best place to be in …. he thought to myself before he fell asleep in the car.
Chapter 4
Robert Wong is a contractor. And he worked as a general contractor. His work is to do carpentry works according to the designs and specifications of clients who already have a design in mind. He is not an architect, and he only copied, as far as he could. He has very little formal education and as a matter of fact only completed high school. He finds it hard to remember names and faces of people he has met. But give him a piece of wood, and he would be able to tell you whether it’s teak, oak, maple, pine, or walnut. He is also familiar with their unique characteristics and which tree it fell from.
As a result, he saw people in shades of brown, not their names. Like now, he just couldn’t remember if the lady who sat with him in the car was Mary Sarah, Jane, Joan, or Joyce. And he was not asking her because he knew that it would have been rude. That would also expose his ignorance since he has been acquainted with her for at least a day by now.
But Robert also has a bad habit, which is that he can’t help noticing things that are left unattended in other people’s homes, much as he does not want to pry into their affairs.
He has seen a couple’s quarrel written all over the kitchen table, and he has seen the diary of a few heart-broken ladies on their dressing table when he was fixing a drawer or two for them.
But recently, he has taken his habit to greater heights. He found a cheque written for three hundred and sixty-seven thousand dollars. If it were only for three hundred and sixty-seven dollars, he would have just ignored it, and probably left it behind in a prominent place to remind the owner to take it back. To his delight, the cheque, to a payee named “Mary Sarah Chan” was uncrossed. I am sure that you would agree with me that the opportunity was just too good for him to miss. Robert immediately removed it from his view and placed it inside his pocket. After that, without a moment’s delay, he got into his car and drove straight to the nearest Bull Bankand dropped the piece of paper into the cheque deposit box, not forgetting to write his own name and account number on the back. Since in any case, it could be paid to anyone who found it.
After that he took out his car and drove straight out of town. The fact that he lived alone and has no close relatives made it easier for leaving.
And that is why Robert has found himself here, now, in this town. With that amount, he could support himself for at least three years without doing a spot of work. Mind you, a contractor’s job is not always rewarding. You don’t get paid on time, and you often have to make several alterations to your original completed works before the client would call it a day.
So, Robert is here now. With this lady by the name of Mary.
Now that you know why he is here, I would like to consult you. What if the bank found out that the bank account and telephone number written by him was a fraud, and that the intended recipient was actually Mary Sarah Chan? Although, technically speaking, an uncrossed cheque could be paid into anyone in possession of it.
Chapter 5
A hand nudged at Robert, and at the same time he heard a man shouting, “you can go now.”
He used his will power to pry open his eye lids and he saw a woman’s face.
And then this time to his surprise he saw the first prettier lady. She was wearing a bright lipstick different from the plain contour that he saw earlier on. He quickly grabbed hold of her, and he said, “I want to follow you home,”
Instead of which she replied, “sir, you could pay the driver,”
Still half asleep, Robert forgot where he left his money. He used his hand to dig into one of his pockets, and he took out several pieces of notes and handed it to the lady. She took it at once, using her thumb and forefinger to shuffle the notes like the way the money changer count money.
“Not enough?” he asked, looking for approval.
“You need to give another two pieces,” she said, holding up two fingers.
“I … err … I don’t have so much …. “, he spoke, only loud enough for himself to hear.
“I saw your wallet just now, you have enough,” she emphasised.
“Then why didn’t you take it from my wallet?” he became annoyed. Then I won’t even know. He thought to himself.
Without another word, he handed her his pouch. The woman flipped open the worn-out leather and slipped her hand into the compartments. She fiddled at them for a while, and then she took out a pile of ten-dollar notes.
“Is this all you have?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said, “there is also a credit card,”
“Oh this, you mean?” she flashed a blue card at him.
He took a look at it, “yeah I think so,” and then he got up from the slumber position.
She turned to the bus driver, and she gave him the notes, after taking out a stack for herself.
This time he was amiable to following her home.
“Where do you live?” he asked.
“Yes, where we came from,” she looked straight at him.
“Then why are we here?” he became angry.
“There was a fire, remember?” she refreshed his memory.
“Oh, yes, I forgot,” eager to know if the church was alright.
“Shall we go back there again?” he asked.
“Of course! But we have to discharge this driver first,” this lady Mary said.
“But … I thought you said …” he was still concerned.
“The fire was just an emergency response exercise; we have it all the time.” Lady Mary replied.
Throughout, she wore the same expression as though she was completely innocent of extortion. Or maybe it was just a mild form of coercion.
Satisfied, he slumped back onto the couch, his mind thinking of where he could have a coffee, his brains still in sleep mode.
What would they do if they found out?
“Of course, the car will stop at my house, but I warn you first, it’s very small, and I have an old woman in the house, she is my late mother,”
“Late mother?” Robert became very curious.
“Yes, she has dementia, she can’t remember that I am her daughter, she is as good as dead.”
“Oh,” he replied, “that’s why you call her late,”
“And how old is she?” he wanted to know if she was expiring soon.
“It depends on ….” she murmured.
“Depends on what?” Robert became fearful, afraid that he might be detained by the old woman whom he was going to meet. He has more urgent business to attend to. And he has no intention of entering into a permanent relationship with this Mary or whatever her name was.
The car cruised for what seemed to be an inordinate amount of time and then suddenly it pulled up by the side of a stall set up haphazardly. An old man with a long beard and a straw hat was seen pouring water into several cups at the same time.
“I need a coffee!” he shouted excitedly, “could you ….” his hands pointing at the stall outside his window. He swore he could have smelled the strong Arabia aroma.
“Sure, that will be fifty dollars”.
“That must have been the most expensive coffee I have tasted,” Robert thought to himself, before digging into his wallet preparing to give the lady Mary more money.
His slap phone vibrated in his pocket; he picked it up to see who it was. Then he put it back in his pocket.
“Your wife from home?” she asked.
“No, my cousin,” he said.
“Huh? Cousin calling from home to check if you were, ok?” she sneered.
Robert looked at her and asked, “How about you? You have a sister or at least a cousin?”
“Nope, mine died a long time ago,” she replied, with a kind of nostalgia on her face.
“Oh,” he said, “I am sorry,” and then he added, “brother or sister?”
“No need to be sorry,” she replied, “they are of not much use to me anyway, brother!”
“I find mine a nuisance too,” he continued, wished she hadn’t call me brother. I was supposed to be her boyfriend now.
Chapter 6
“Mother, I have brought Brother Robert to see you,” Mary announced the moment she entered the house.
“So, you have finally come?” the frail old lady looked at Robert without a blink.
I wasn’t sure that there a plot to bring me here.
He remained calm, “I could just leave by the next bus,” he told himself.
But since he was here, he told himself he should find out how he could make use of this situation, the purpose being to find a bank nearby where he could encash the cheque. He knew that the Bull Bank also has a branch in this town.
And then he saw the way Mary dissembled herself when she went into the house, and the speed with which she put her act into action. She took her shoes off, carefully slipping them into a shelved cabinet by the side of the front door, then she took off her straw bag and hung it on the clothes hanger just by the side on the left. Couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed with her.
Chapter 7
Robert slept well on the first night of his arrival, as he was tired out throughout the day. But he woke up with a recurring question:
“Is this Mary asking me to finish her mother off?”
Then it took him quite a while to recall that the recipient of the cheque was Mary Sarah Chan, and that this Mary is just Mary.
Chapter 8
Robert was sure it wasn’t the food. But in the middle of the night, he felt really thirsty. It was not the ordinary kind of thirst, but that of a very dry mouth, and he became longing for a drink, not just a drink but an iced cold drink.
He needed to go down and get some water, he told himself. But then he would wake up the rest in the house. The kitchen was below on the ground floor, and the old lady lived in the maisonette. Mary was just next door. It was a wooden floor, and it creaked a little if you apply too much force when you walked.
It was pitch dark as he opened the door. No light coming from the other parts of the house. And he almost tripped over a rug carelessly thrown at the staircase landing. One step at a time, he took his steps slowly holding onto the railings.
Then suddenly he heard a click sound. The old lady’s bedroom door opened, and she peeped at him from the narrow slit of the ajar door.
“You are awake?” she said, not suspecting anything.
“Yes,” I was hoping that she didn’t know that it was me, the uninvited guest.
“You need to use the toilet?” she queried.
“Err …. yes …. don’t worry I know where it is,” he didn’t want to prolong the conversation. All he needed was a glass of water. A tall glass of water.
“I think Mary can get it for you, let me call for her ….” she offered.
“Oh no, I can manage it myself,” the last thing he wanted to do was to alarm another person. He was sure that he could do this himself. Besides, he was thinking of how he could run away from Mary when the sun comes up tomorrow. He really didn’t like what she was putting him up to, judging by the looks of it. He didn’t want to remain here for longer than necessary; he wanted to encash the money he has in the bank account.
Chapter 9
This was the first time Robert has entered the kitchen. It was pitch dark. He could not see the stove. He couldn’t even see how many stools there were for the kitchen island. But he could see the fridge. It was white, like all fridges are, so that it stood out. Tentatively he walked towards it.
By habit he pulled the fridge door open. And then he saw nothing except several bottles of pills in different sizes. Out of curiosity he picked up one bottle and it read, “Poison – Keep Away from Children”.
This must be her medicine for the dementia, he thought to myself.
Then he saw that there was a carton of orange juice by the side door. Florida Orange! Robert grabbed at it and started looking for a glass. Thank God for these small mercies! Immediately he poured the whole carton down his throat without even the need for a glass. Then when he saw a glass on top of the cabinet, he used it and drank water from the tap.
He wasn’t surprised that no one saw him, since everyone in the house was supposed to be asleep now, including the dog Vodka. The old lady he thought she must have gotten back to bed.
And then he heard a door close. And a woman saying, “I don’t want.”
Too ashamed by his behaviour he quickly walked out of the kitchen and promptly went back to his bedroom. This time he already knew the way.
Back in the safe confines of his own room, he pondered on his encounter with the old lady. She had seen him, but he was only going down to get some water, no offence committed. So that there was no harm done. Even if she tells Mary about it tomorrow it was just to fulfil a basic need. He wasn’t a thief here although he has taken some money from his client.
Has she discovered that her cheque was gone? Again, he asked himself this question.
Chapter 10
The morning finally came after a long night. Robert couldn’t sleep at all as he was worrying about the status of the cheque. And he won’t know unless he has gone to the bank. This time he was thirsty for a good cup of hot coffee. He freshened himself up and he went straight down to the dining hall without much delay.
The weather was slightly chilly this morning, and Robert had put on a light jacket. The jacket was bought at a night market and a steal, and he was hoping that it would impress the ladies. Proudly, he took his steps outside the small bedroom, and he walked down to the main hall. This was where he first came in. There was no one in sight. Surprised, he walked around to the backyard where the dog Vodka was usually lying. No one.
This was strange!
As Robert stepped into the kitchen, he found two men. One was standing and the other was sitting on the stool in the middle.
“So, there is only one stool for the island,” he thought to himself.
“Where were you last night?” the standing man asked.
“I was here. Where else could I have been? I just woke up from a bed upstairs,” he replied.
“And who was the person you went to bed with?” he followed suit.
“I myself, of course,” a bliss to what went on downstairs, he said.
“Did you talk to a lady after you went to your bedroom? Or did she anytime come up to talk to you?” the man asked again.
The questions were persistent and fierce, so that he got a little annoyed.
“Why are you asking so many questions?” he said, “in the first place I don’t know who you are,” Robert said.
“Ok, then let me inform you,” the man smiled, looking slightly pleased with himself,
“I am the inspector in charge of this residential area, and we have found the body of a lady who has been identified by the neighbours as living in this house. You got this clear?”
“Oh my God! She is dead?!” Robert exclaimed.
Just when I thought I could use her as a cache of the holder of the cheque Mary!
“We are not sure of how many people are living in this house as of now, but you are the last guest the ladies received, so we have to keep you here for more information,” the man said.
“Wait! Who are you? Show me your ID, I am not obliged to tell you so many things,” Robert became adamant, when he was actually a fugitive of another potential crime.
“Fine, if that’s what you want,” by now the man was fairly acquainted with him.
He took out a pass from his breast pocket and he flashed it in front of him. Robert only managed to see the words: Inspector Morris.
“What is your full name?” It is Robert’s habit to remember full names.
“Let me have your passport first, then I can give you all my details,” Inspector Morris said.
He then signalled to his other friend, who had been ignored all this while, “follow him upstairs.”
Frustrated that his morning routine had been disrupted, as Robert always has a cup of coffee before he begins the day, he turned back and put his right foot on the wooden and squeaky staircase. And before he moved up, he tried his luck,
“Could I go to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee first?”
“No, you may not, after you have given us what we want first,” the inspector was firm. As he was speaking, his friend came nearer, giving him no space to manoeuvre. The left side of his body was touching the edge of the wall.
Chapter 11
Let me describe the upstairs to you now, where Robert slept the night before.
The first thing you notice is that the room was clearly wallpapered because you could see the paper peeling off.
And then as you look up, you could see the fan hanging from a cracked ceiling. Robert did turn on the fan for a while last night but switched it off because it swirled at such a great momentum that he thought it might fall off if he let it rotate any longer.
A large double bed occupied the entire room, and all of his clothes were oozing out from the small suitcase that was lying on the bed. Apart from that there was a lamp on the bay window behind the bed which could not be turned on because there was no bulb in it. He did wonder if it was working.
He tried his luck again, “It’s too dark, could I turn on the lights first?”, this was an attempt to send the second man elsewhere to get the bulb.
“No, I am not going anywhere,” the friend was just as firm as inspector Morris.
“I don’t think I brought my passport with me,” Robert said.
“Then how did you come here?” he asked, a little unsure.
“I came by bus, I live in this town,” Robert replied.
“Could I search your suitcase?” the friend decided to help himself.
“Wait!” he shouted, “Do you have a search warrant?”
The friend stopped in his track, and then he turned to him, “Ok, let us go downstairs and see Morris,”
“Why didn’t you carry your passport with you?” Inspector Morris asked.
“My passport was due to expire, and I had sent it into the immigration department for renewal,” he replied.
“Ok, let me be frank with you,” Morris looked him in the eye.
“A woman living in this house was found to be dead at 7:00 a.m. this morning. Her symptom was that of an induced poisoning, and we are not sure whether she committed suicide or if anyone else induced her to swallow some poison.”
That bottle “Poison – Keep Away from Children”!!!
At once Robert asked, “Do you know the name of the poison?”
“No, not yet, we are trying to find the source of the poison,” Morris said.
Robert was about to move to the fridge to open it to see if the dammed bottle was still inside. But common sense told him not to reveal the fact that he saw it last night. In case they said he used it to poison the victim.
“Why don’t you just cooperate with us?” Morris looked him in the eye.
“What do you mean, inspector?” he was sure that he was innocent of the crime, assuming that it wasn’t suicide.
He couldn’t have known that I came down to the kitchen last night.
“I had done nothing …. I was here only just a day ago …. as you can see, my suitcase is still unpacked,” he defended himself.
“We don’t know, no one here knows how long you have actually known the victim,” Morris replied, and then,
“Let me be outright with you now. My name is Ryan, Ryan Morris, an inspector at the Salaita Police Station. Whether you are a witness or the potential killer, we don’t know yet. The victim is dead. But we need to put you as a suspect, and at the very least, to stand as a witness. Meanwhile as investigations are on-going, you have the right to remain silent,” Morris fished out a pair of handcuffs.
With that, the friend came forward, grabbed one of his wrists and then he felt a ring, together his other hand was placed in a pair of metal rings. He heard the click sound and the keys turning. That was it!
He was then ushered by the two men out of the house. Outside a police car was waiting and a driver was waiting to start the car. Only now then he realised that there were three men in this mission.
“Wait! I don’t even kill spiders,” he started to panic ….
The two officers ignored him and continued to lead him into the car.
Chapter 12
In the cell. His thoughts racing ….
Are they applying the principle “All men presumed guilty unless proven innocent” on me?
By now he couldn’t remember inspector Ryan Morris’s face. They were all in police uniform.
“Why did you kill the deceased?
….
“Why did you kill Mary?
….
“I have the right to remain silent,” he spoke.
“Good, you are talking now,” “How long have you known the deceased?”
“I only met her a day ago … the day before I woke up and saw you,”
“Good, an acquaintance, no motive,” officer replied.
“I don’t even know her real name,” he said.
“You often follow unknown women home? What were you looking for? Sex?” officer asked.
“Of course not, I knew that she was a decent woman,” he said.
“But then you said you just knew her? How could you have known?” “After all, she brought you home just after having met you … in the church did you say?”
“I can’t remember,” he answered.
“Olivia said she saw you in the church with her,” the officer’s eyes glued to his face.
“You followed her home, and when she refused to sleep with you, you killed her,” officer said.
“Did Olivia ask you to do it on your bed or her bed?” another question.
“Olivia? Who is Olivia?” again he asked.
“Answer me. Hers or yours?” officer’s voice was getting louder.
Oh, her name was Olivia not Mary.
“Err, I wanted to do it on her bed, but she refused,” Robert wanted to give him a story to lead him to an illogical conclusion.
“That meant that you did try, and when she refused to comply, you strangled her,” officer was insistent.
“Hey, I thought you said she died of poison,” Robert was alert again.
“No, the cause of death is still under investigation,” officer said.
“Ok, she did tell me that her name was Mary, I didn’t know that she was actually Olivia,” he said.
Officer threw a red book at him, “this your passport?”
He picked it up, “no,” he said.
“Why?” officer asked.
“I can’t remember my name,” he looked at it again. He was afraid that they might have found the cheque and his bank account.
“Ok, file it under unknown,” officer said.
“I am innocent!” He declared.
“Without your passport, we don’t know your identity, so we would have to keep you here for further investigations. You might be released once we have found the real killer.” Officer was reassuring.
“You mean I am not the real killer?” Robert continued with the conversation in his thoughts ….
Chapter 13
“I am not here to offer romance,” first things the officer who came in said.
“Then why are you here for?” Robert asked him.
“How much did you take from her?” officer asked.
“How much! I didn’t take any money from the house!” Robert immediately replied.
“So, when you found that they had nothing to offer you, you got angry and killed her,” officer said.
“Who died? May I know?” he was genuinely curious now.
“Come on, don’t play a fool with me, surely you know who you killed,” the man said. He was clean shaven and not the same as anyone whom Robert had seen earlier on.
“So, was it the young one or the old one?” Robert asked.
The officer wasn’t provoked, “you tell me, mate,”
“Err, let me guess … the young one,” Robert said, thinking to himself, “since they said that I had slept with the victim, surely, they must know that it would have been the younger woman that I slept with. No one in their right mind would sleep with a demented old woman.”
“How did she die? May I know?” Robert decided it was time he cross-examined the officer.
With this, the officer stood up and walked out of the room.
And Robert decided to fall asleep on the hard and thin mattress again.
Before he fell asleep, all he could say to himself was, you have the right to remain silent.
He remembered the song he used to play during Christmas – “Silent Night”. But it wasn’t winter and for once he realised that there was no chimney for Santa to climb in to give him what he wished.
Chapter 14
The officers brought him out again.
This time the driver was wearing a pair of oversized sunglasses.
His mind drifted away as he was being ignored. But at the centre of his focus, he was always concerned about the cheque. By now he has forgotten exactly how much it was. The police have a way of erasing memories.
The car stopped at a large brick building, and he recognised it as the church which he saw as “My Sanctuary”. No fire has swept the place. In fact, it looked exactly as when he first saw it.
“So, you are right, there was no fire,” he said, thinking that Mary was still with him.
“What fire?” one of the three scoffed at him.
“I was there!!” Robert exclaimed, he wanted to back track.
“No. You were not,” another man replied.
“Hey! You can ask Mary,” Robert exclaimed.
“No, her name is Mary Sarah Chan,” now the third one was speaking.
“Huh?” he was confused.
“Mary Sarah Chan is her full name.” Officer said again.
OMG!!! Robert almost fainted. His breathing became short, and his heart started to pump rapidly. If you read his pulse now, it was at least 135 BPM ….
…. So, she followed me all these whiles! She must have known that I took her cheque and decided to meet me at “The Sanctuary”. But why didn’t the woman just ask me for the cheque all the while? Why did she bring me home and put me to all the drama? If I stole from her, why would she even want me to meet her mother???
He found no logical answer to this.
“Ok, they haven’t found my passport, so they didn’t know my identity. And that’s why they are not talking to me.” Robert thought to himself.
He sat in silence in the car and told himself he must find out who died by the end of the entire episode.
He couldn’t remember what he did for the rest of the journey until he saw the prison cell again. This time another person was inside. He wanted to open his mouth and ask the guy who brought him here, and why it wasn’t empty.
But the thin figure was sleeping, so he decided not to wake him up.
To his surprise he was given salmon for dinner, the fish was fresh but there were no condiments. He refused to touch the coffee because he did not want to stay awake, for fear of further questioning. He won’t call this cross-examination because this was not a court of law.
After food, he went back to bed and lie down hoping to fall asleep. Under the circumstances, the best thing to do was to allow time to pass, until they have established his identity, which would have been evident in his missing passport. He tried to recall where he had hidden it, but he couldn’t remember. The earlier journey in the car with the police had made him forget things.
He started to think of Mary again. Is she really dead? Or was it her mother that died? And who was Olivia? And then he realised that he had forgotten to find out the name of the old lady before he met with the police. When he was with her he had assumed that since she suffered from dementia, she would have forgotten her own name.
Chapter 15
The person who shared the same cell with Robert was a young man whom he guessed was about twenty-five. By now he realised that they had put him in another cell. This time the beds were parallel with the door rather than facing it.
He decided to engage in conversation with the young man. He got up from his own bed and went up to his.
“How did you come in?” he asked.
“How did you come in?” the young man returned.
Selfish with his memories Robert chose not to share them. So instead of carrying on with the thread, he said, “Oh, I can’t remember,”
The young man gave him a petulant toss of the head and then went back to a horizontal position.
Deflated, Robert went back to his own bed and started to talk to himself, “are they framing me because I stole the cheque?” and then, “is Mary really dead?” “Surely the old lady could stand as my witness and confirm that I didn’t kill Mary.”
But fact was that no one heard the conversation when he went down to the kitchen on that fateful night. Or was Mary inside the room as well?
The door opened, and like a saviour a man walked in.
“Olivia said that she was with you on the night that she was killed,” the man said.
Hold it! How could this happen?! Robert thought they said that Olivia was dead, how could she speak? He jumped at the inconsistencies.
“So now who is dead???” He was getting inflamed.
“Surely you must know who you killed?” officer did not give in.
“It was dark, and there were no lights, I saw a lady at the maisonette, and I didn’t know if she were the young or the old,” he began to recall.
“I see, so it was in her room, not yours,” officer said.
“NO! I did not sleep with Mary!” He raised his voice.
“Calm down, David,” the man said.
Ok, they must have found my passport now. But my name was Robert not David!
“Let them think of me as David, I am in custody now. At least they haven’t found my account in Bull Bank,” he told himself. Robert looked at the tag on his wrist. It was a long number 12-digit number.
The man in plain clothes walked out again, without leaving Robert with a clue as to how his name could be changed from Robert to David.
Could they have altered my identity in the Immigration Department?
“Oh yeah, I did tell them that I had sent my passport in to the immigration for processing.” Robert recalled.
“There seemed nothing else to do except to memorise the number on his wrist. Which language shall I use?” He said to himself. Unsure, he tried to talk to the young man next to him again. But he remained unfriendly.
He started flexing his muscle in an attempt to exercise. He knew that he was engaged in a fight, but he didn’t know whom he was fighting against.
Cell is hell.
That was all Robert could say for myself. And then he realised that it was too soon for him to die.
He slept, with the comforting thought that he was still alive.
“Where is heaven?” He woke up with the sudden idea.
He turned to his side, then he found out that the young man next to him had gone. “He must have gone up to heaven,” he murmured.
And then he began to realise that he was in heaven before. He had a cheque for three-hundred and sixty-seven thousand to clear and he was supposed to collect his money in the Bull Bank.
“What should I do with the money,” he began to ask himself, in an attempt to think positive.
Chapter 16
Dinner arrived with just one plate of beef, the salmon that Robert looked forward to being given has vanished. He was utterly disappointed and then he realised that it might not have been dinner. It could well be lunch since by now he had lost track of the time.
He looked at the tag on his wrist again. After last night he had entirely forgotten about the number. Anyway, now he knew that he was either David or Robert.
Click, the door opened again.
“Robert or David?” Robert asked.
“You tell me.” The officer said.
“Ok, since you asked. My name is Robert, Robert Wong.”
“Good,” “here is your passport,” officer threw a book at him this time. He took a look at it, it was red, but not bright red.
“No, this is not my passport,” he protested.
“Then what colour do you want?” the man asked.
“You mean I can choose my own colour?” he was getting confused now, or rather delighted.
“Then I want purple,” he said, poking fun at the man.
“There is no purple, but if you want, we can do one specially for you,” man said.
“No need,” this time Robert decided to be cooperative, “any colour will do,” he said, and then, “may I know my name, please?”
“The young or the old?” again the man questioned him.
By now Robert had given up on who died, and whom he was supposed to have killed, and who he spoke to before he went down to the kitchen. Now he could only recall the name Ryan Morris, but even then, he could not remember how he looked like.
Chapter 17
The next time he saw the officer, he took the first opportunity and said, “I saw a bottle, in fact several bottles, of poison in the fridge. They were labelled ‘Poison – Keep away from children’. I don’t know if the young woman fed her mother with it.”
“But that is just hearsay,” officer said. How do I know that you did not make it up.
They are still not telling me who died – Mary or the old lady. And they are asking me to tell them.
But how would I know who died, unless I am the one responsible for it?
This is hilarious.
By now Robert realised that he has to make an educated guess. Perhaps if he guessed correctly, they might let him go.
Officer came in again. This time he went straight to the point, “young or old?”
“Old,” Robert said.
“Yes, she died of poison, it was her daughter who killed her,”
“And her name?” he followed suit.
“Mary, as in Mother Mary,” suddenly the man became friendly.
He smiled at Robert, “it is the same as the intended recipient of the cheque Mary Sarah Chan,”
“The cheque paid to her name would only have sufficient funds for withdrawal, provided that her mother Olivia died. But that since Olivia was too old and like she said, ‘she had already found her abode in heaven,’ we have decided to just keep her with us for four years, instead of the usual punishment for murder.”
“Ok, everything tied up now, the story is clear, and you may go.”
Still unhappy with the ending, Robert turned around and asked the man, whom I shall refer to as his saviour, “Robert or David?”
“Robert,” his saviour passed him a red book. He opened it, and the biodata page had his name – Robert Wong See Choon.
Chapter 18
Looking dapper, Robert had a fresh haircut the moment he got out, and he went to the Bull Bank to check on his account status. True enough, there was more than three hundred and sixty-seven thousand dollars, including his own money, waiting for him to spend.
He used part of it to buy a house, to get married, and to buy a statue of Mother Mary and a sparkling crystal Rosary. Every night he went in front of the statue and prayed for Mary Sarah Chan’s release.
It’s getting clearer and clearer now, that she wants me dead.
I decided to try out a nursery at Chancery Lane, as it was just two lanes away. The school was crowded with students as I walked in. The board has a large display: “Paddington Schoolhouse”. I quickly took a picture of the entrance before proceeding to walk in. No one saw me taking the picture.
And no one followed me in either.
The school wall was plastered with wallpaper of different species of flowers, together with words of alphabets. I tried to catch them in alphabetical order. So, I stood still for a while, and then I started identifying them. I found “A”, followed by “B”, and then I had to take a long time before I could find “C”. Finally, after I saw “D”, I decided to jump to “H”.
At this moment I heard a voice calling, “Where are you baby?”
Shocked, I thought the woman was calling me, as I distinctly remembered that there was no one around when I entered.
Then who is the baby? And who was this woman?
Chapter 2
Minutes later I saw a parrot in a cage, instantly I decided that this should be the item that I must bring home today. Its body is round and if it were a man, you would call him fat. But his feathers are arranged in a layered and orderly manner I would say. I fell in love with the fowl even before I took him home. As I wanted him to be free, I did not capture him before I walked away to look for the owner of the premises to arrange for a way to bring him home. At the time I had completely forgotten that it did not belong to me. And that some negotiations needed to be done before anything could happen.
“He is a bird! Of course he could fly home with me,” I thought to myself.
I walked away from the cage, and I walked further into the school. Still, no one was around.
To the far-right corner I saw a clean toilet. I cannot tell you how I am able to determine that the toilet was clean even before I started using it. But then when I heard the sound of a flush, I decided to walk in, forgetting that it was a male toilet. From a long time ago, I suffer from pelvic floor dysfunction. It could be that I drank too much water in the morning before I came in, or perhaps I took too much coffee. Coffee is diuretic we all know.
But no one is inside the toilet. So, I came out again and then decided to survey the entire scene before I could satisfy myself that I was alone in the schoolhouse.
Since I was alone here, I thought to myself, let me pretend that I am the principal, and that there are school kids on the floor. Further on, I decided that I was a teacher, and that since I was a teacher, I am entitled to a pointer stick, a writing board, some markers and an eraser. And then when I felt a little tired, I sat down on a stool. By this time, I had completely forgotten that I needed to use the toilet just now.
My bladder is completely under my control by now.
Afterwards, I heard some people laughing. “They must be my students,” I thought to myself. So, I decided to start talking to them.
“This is A for America,” “B for Bangkok,” “C for China,” and then when I found that there was no answer, I decided to try other means of introduction.
“This is A for Apple,” “B for bed,” “C for chair,” and “D for desk,” using furniture instead. But still no one responded. Of course I know that apple is a fruit.
Frustrated, I started shouting, “Why are all of you so quiet?!!!”
Just at this time, a man with a black polo shirt walked in, from which direction I don’t know.
“Why are you shouting?” he asked.
“No, I am not shouting,” at the top of my voice I retorted.
“Lower your voice,” the man in black said.
“Ok, fine, who are you?” “And why are you here?”
“I am the security guard,” he said, “Can’t you see?” he pointed to the word on his attire, and then he continued, “S for Singapore, I for India, N for Norway, G for Germany, A for …. Ok the rest you know,”
“What do you mean by the rest you know?” “I don’t know anything,” I replied. And then, “carry on,” I ordered.
He laughed, “ok, so you are here alone, is that right?”
“Of course I am alone,” I said, “Do you see anyone else around?” I decided to treat him as my first student.
“Yes, I can see you standing here,” he tried to argue.
“So, there are students here, right?” I tried to impose upon him.
“Err …. Err … yes!” he said after a pause.
“How many?” I am now making fun of him.
“I can see a few, in fact, several ….”, this time without punctuation.
Hahaha I was laughing inside.
“By the way, why are they laughing just now?” I enquired.
“Who? Me?” he asked.
“No, not you, the students,” I replied.
“Oh yes, I think they were happy, that’s why …. ” a most logical answer to anyone who laughs.
I smiled, satisfied that this security man has now submitted to me, I decided to probe in further. So, I tried to find out his name before I recorded it in my memory bank. And the bank is known as UN5386. No, this is not a physical bank, not brick and mortar. And it is just the name of my new notebook.
“Hey wait! I am not done with you!” He yelled after me.
Chapter 3
He came in as an invisible man. And I spoke to him.
“Who are you?” first thing I said, “I had never seen you before,”
“I brought some plants for you, as well as some bird food for your bird, the one that flew away,”
“Oh, she told you?” I said,
“No, she didn’t, I just gathered that you needed it,” insisting that he didn’t know that I knew the school principal. I knew that I wasn’t the principal.
So, the security guard must have reported that I behaved badly the other day when I confronted him, or rather he confronted me.
How could he? I didn’t touch him, and I stopped talking the minute he ordered me not to shout, when in fact I was talking to the thin air.
What? He thinks I am mad?
People are entitled to talk to themselves whenever they feel like. And everyone is entitled to laugh to themselves if they wish to.
I continue to station myself in the school.
Chapter 4
I saw the same man again. This time he called himself the bus conductor. And he noticed me at once. I wasn’t sure what it was about me that attracted me to him. But certainly, I wasn’t drawn to him.
I gave an OMG expression.
I looked down at my shoes. They were brown, and then I saw that I was wearing a pair of jeans and t-shirt. I liked jeans because it has pockets to hide my iPhone. Mobile in all aspects, I disliked people on wheelchair to board the bus, as it gives the driver a lot of extra work to do. He has to put the gear on neutral, apply the brakes, letting the engine run without a driver, then move to the exit door to pull the folded platform down to allow for smooth boarding of the passenger on wheelchair. I wanted to be a wheelchair assistant when I was looking for a job. But at the time I was afraid of losing my way at the vast airport. I told myself unless I was travelling out of the country I won’t arrive at the airport.
My house is a gloomy, hot, airless, attic room. Four small, mean windows shut tight with wooden shutters appeared to be the only means of ventilation. I hurried into the room to open the venetian blinds to allow the sun in. I added one bedside table and one small wardrobe to complete the furnishings when I moved in. Only one bed was allowed inside as I didn’t want strangers to sneak in and occupy my attic. You never know. Some people do have very good imagination, and they can virtually occupy your house. That is why I never allow anyone in except my closest friends and relatives. My neighbors are far away on the lower floors. The attic I spray clean with Dettol disinfectant at least once a day.
You could say that I got 洁癖. It means that I am obsessed with cleanliness.
However, several lizards are living with me as I find it hard to get rid of them. They are tough, cold-blooded, and they run away whenever I approach them. One time I had to empty half a bottle of Baygoninsect killer before I could get a lizard to submit.
I hate lizards. I hate their tiny little eyes that pops out from the side.
Chapter 5
Everything was behind closed door now. I don’t go out, and I eat at home, as a spat of housebreaking has been reported in my neighborhood. I was afraid that once I leave the house the thieves would enter and take possession, filming the entire house with no stone unturned. You are right, I treat my house as a museum, and I don’t like photos taken. With or without myself inside. Friends who have taken pictures of us in the house have been deserted. It is extremely rude to come into someone’s house and film their artwork. Worse, if they have taken pictures of inside your toilet on the pretext of wanting to comb their hair.
I don’t comb my hair in the mornings after I wake up.
And I have told several people before. I have converted my thin long fingernails into the teeth of my comb since ages ago. You could take that as an explanation. But the more logical explanation is that it has become a habit to just pick up the hairdryer and let the hot air to blow at it. It is much faster that way.
Chapter 6
I was at a meeting today. And there I heard everyone talking about visiting Vietnam. Laura turned to me and asked me “are you going anywhere for a holiday?”
“Where would you like me to go?” I asked her.
“Anywhere. Just get out of this crazy town.”
“What’s crazy about this town?” I asked her.
“It’s crazily hot. At 34 degrees Celsius, you can bake anyone under the sun,”
“That is provided you sunbathe,” I said.
“If you don’t put yourself under the sun, why would you feel hot?” I added, just to emphasize.
Immediately Sandra chipped in and said, “a baby in the oven,”
“Baby in the oven?!!! That’s an exaggeration.”
“Oh, have you heard of the case of a Filipina helper putting a baby in the oven before?”
“Oh, my goodness! What on earth was she trying to do?”
“To kill the baby of course.”
“She could have been executed,”
“She was, I am sure.” “That was first degree murder.” “Doing an act with intent to cause harm, thus leading to death.” Vincent said.
“So, did her country come to fetch her home after that?”
“Her remains were repatriated.”
“Helpers can be very mean at times.”
“The fact that she was a Filipina had nothing to do with the crime that she committed.” Laura pleaded.
Laura was a Filipina who married an Englishman and migrated here from twenty years ago.
“Sure,” I replied.
How do I tell my rich friends to stop thinking about fleeing the country?
And how do I turn Laura into my friend?
Chapter 7
At home lying on my bed, I tried to reason with Laura.
But God told me: You can’t. Unless you meet again, go back to yesterday, erase the conversation, and put Laura on the witness stand, to make her defend the helper and see if she could prove her innocence.
Somethings just can’t change. And some past cannot be eliminated. People remember. Old people who are still alive remember. Young people who have good memory remember what their parents tell them. If a crime has been committed in a city, unless the entire city enters into a sleep mode permanently. The crime that you have committed the gods remember. Call it a sin in the Bible, but 他是杀人灭口。Everyone knows what you did, and what happened on that day that created this day. With or without children, someone out there, someone near you, a sound, a thought prompted by a tiny little creature, will remind you, your own brains, that you killed someone who was in your hands. Unless you have an excellent lawyer, who can plead your case, and a lenient judge who is willing to exonerate you, you cannot go free. For what reason do you have for killing?
For the good of your country? For the good of mankind? For humanity, like Elon Musk? No, Elon Musk is not a murderer. I have not seen him kill. But how can I be so sure? Well, no one has proved otherwise to me.
Maybe that is why rich people are always trying to travel. For the need of good fresh air, I guess. This city is full of hot balloonish air. And unless you turn on the air conditioning you cannot sleep.
The bill is getting higher. But as they say, you pay for what you deserve, which is the nice cool air. We must pay for everything isn’t it.
No one owes me a living I know. But no one owes you a living too.
Chapter 8
The group discussion today was whether there are any hidden benefits to being the only diner in a fancy restaurant, or is it just uncomfortable?
My answer to them was “uncomfortable”. It’s like going back into your house and eating the food that you prepared and having all the surroundings in your home changed into fantasy. I am not interested in make believes, even though I am well aware that I am writing fiction now. But who doesn’t like fiction? The real world is full of crimes and hatred. That is what I see on the television every day. So, I turn off the television from today. If there are no negative report on the news, then I would switch it on and leave it on all the time. My neighbors below might get offended with the bombarding of noise, but let him get upset, since they are not my ears anyway.
Yes, war broke out at the Thailand and Cambodia mutual border today.
Again?
And why they call it “mutual” border? It is separated by a Preah Vihear temple erected from since time immemorial. I don’t study history, so I don’t know the date and time when they declared a truce. Not that I don’t like history, but that I have not been given enough cells for my brains to receive it and then process it. This was decided by God when He created me. Err. I think he is residing in Mars now. Since he created mankind and the earth, he must be living in the vast galaxy.
I am living. But I am not God and have never attempted to pretend that I am omnipresent. Some people do. Those who love power who love control. They think that they have special powers when in fact it is the money that they carry with them and the weapons that they have been given which make people fear them.
What about doctors? Doctors are here to save lives, not to overrule patients’ authority to make decisions for themselves. The needle can kill, but so can it heal. An injection or an advice which is contrary to the patients’ desire, even if behind closed doors, is harmful if given when the man sitting in front of him did not wish for it to be taken.
Who says that the man who went into the operation theatre went in without his original intent? Who says that the consent form was signed with free will when in fact it was signed under duress? Or in a moment of weakness? Or simply because the doctor said, “trust me,”? Why should I trust anybody but myself?
Chapter 9
Vincent had a cup of tea instead of coffee before I went out today.
This time I took the side entrance to the Cherry Hill mall. I go in from the side and no one saw me. Other times when I take the main entrance a man would pull open the door for me, not on purpose, but that he happened to be coming out himself. We have dispensed with the need for a doorman for a long time. It is an extremely boring job, and guests who are being served may not even appreciate it. This often shows when not a word of thank you was said.
Oh yeah, we have a lady doorman. Maybe we can call her a lady door opener. I miss her as she is a replica of one of my late aunties.
But this is not what I am here for today. I am here in the schoolhouse now. And I am investigating a murder which took place recently. The chief investigating officer did not give me the specific date, and I am just here to look see. To find out if there were any threads leading to the murder. Murder is always life and can never be pardoned. Even if the state pardons you, God does not pardon the one who pardoned he who killed. For whom are you to play God? You killed His creation!
So, I stepped up to the security man again. Did you see the man who was here yesterday? The man? Which man? He asked.
“He was wearing a green shirt yesterday.” I said, knowing that it was myself.
“Oh, I can’t remember,” the man replied, still wearing his black polo shirt.
“But I remember you,” I told him.
“And you ordered me to shut up.” I spoke.
“No, I didn’t.” he responded.
By this time, I realized that the security man whom I saw on 21 July 2025 at the schoolhouse, was already dead. I mean some of his brain cells are dead. He cannot recall what happened just a week ago.
That is why I bought a notebook!
I tell you: these notebooks are the best in the word. You can’t find them anymore in the Apple iPhone stall.
The world has changed, and I am not trying to tell you that digital devices are no longer useful. It’s just that we should not rely too much on a smartphone.
Otherwise, we might as well replace our brains with a smartphone.
Chapter 10
“Wait! You dropped your spoon on the floor,” Vincent shouted after me as I was walking away during the meeting.
There it is a hideously embarrassing truth dropped right into the middle of a conversation.
“What color is it?” I asked.
“You mean to say that if it’s black you don’t want it?” he asked, looking puzzled as usual.
He is trying to say that I am crazy again.
Just to prove him wrong, I told him that I don’t object to black, and that I was merely checking if it were mine, telling him that my umbrella is actually black, and indeed the question was perfectly legitimate.
“Ok, here you go,” he said, passing me the umbrella.
“Hey! I am here, what do you mean by go? That’s pretty rude. It sounds like go away.” But then in my little brains I too say 去死 as a term of endearment. Of course I am not a lizard. My brains are that of a normal human being. Everyone who sees me would testify to that.
But how would anyone know what I say to others in my brains?
Again, the question popped up in Audrey’s head – “but how did others know that murder that has been committed in the schoolhouse? And then how would others know that the principal is dead?
Chapter 11
Furtively I walked into the schoolhouse again.
“She has turned cold,” Vincent said.
“Oh dear! How long ago has it been?” I asked.
“I don’t know, probably three months ago,” he replied.
“Since the day I walked in?” I queried.
No wonder I heard some noises when I was there on 21 July. It was a Monday. So, the schoolhouse is haunted.
Yeah, and that was why I started talking to myself, when surrounded by the unseen beings. Were they good or evil?
And then the woman must have been the late school principal. Was she the woman’s voice? Or was she her assistant who was also killed at the same time who witnessed the crime? I knew that I wasn’t hearing voices. Could it have been a recorder being played in the background? For sure I know that my hearing was good.
“No quite apart from this, we don’t know where it happened. So, it must have been elsewhere.” Vincent said.
“But where?” Audrey asked.
“Beats me,” Vincent said.
Chapter 12
I spoke to my regular death medicolegal who drew up a medical chart to find out if she had any medical history before. If she had, she could have died of natural causes. Under normal circumstances, a normal healthy woman of sound mind would not put herself in a situation where she would get into trouble.
“Noodles or porridge?” my mother-in-law asked.
I shrugged. Vincent shrugged. I sighed and left the queue. Vincent would bring my order to the table. He knows what I like.
Three minutes later Vincent put the food on my table. I decided to start first before MIL arrived. Just in case you don’t know, MIL is an abbreviation for mother-in-law. Just like why Covid was called coronavirus. It is called corona-virus because it was deadly. Since a corona inquiry means an investigation on the causes of death.
MIL took a long time talking to the man selling the fried kway teow. She was obviously interested in the man. I thought to myself.
“Why is she taking so long?” “The man is not good looking at all,” I continued.
“He likes her,” Vincent said.
“But why?” I asked. She is married to your dad, right?”
“No, my dad has passed away a long time ago,” my husband finally confessed.
“Huh?” “This is the first time you are telling me,”
Immediately I heard commotion, and the spectators came. MIL has just slapped the hawker man.
Vincent stood still, not saying a word. I let the police come and take her away, whilst the poor man who had been slapped said he wasn’t injured seriously, and that he didn’t want to go to the hospital. Since he was obviously the victim, the police let him off the hook. I mean, he could have provoked her or what.
This is the way we function. In a civilized world, we let the victim decide if he needs to be treated, or wants to be treated, but what did he say that provoked my poor MIL, who was now in custody?
Chapter 13
Vincent said he has no idea.
No idea as to what?
As to how the school principal died? Or as to what the man at the hawker centre said to his mother?
I married Vincent three years ago, after having dated with each other for more than seven years. By now the romance would have died for most people. But not for the both of us. We always had things to do, cases to investigate, and people to meet. Some are victims and some are prosecutors. But we know where we must avoid.
The expensive restaurants.
Not say we cannot afford it, but that we don’t want to disturb the peace there. People who dine out too regularly are those who don’t know what to do with the money that they have. I don’t splurge money around. I try to save as much as I could. Unless the articles find me and haunt me.
Yes, I saw a pair of earrings today. It is gorgeous. I decided to pay for it on the spot. I dug into my wallet and found that I did not have enough cash. So, I lied to the salesman and said that it was too expensive.
Vincent would yell at me if he saw my earrings, and until I have found a place to hide it, I would keep it on standby.
“Where is she? Is she still with you?” I heard Vincent speaking on the phone the moment I got back.
I take it that he must be talking to the officer who took his mother. So, I kept quiet. But when the earrings popped up in my brains again at midnight when he was sound asleep, I couldn’t help but wake him and asked him if I could buy it.
Still half asleep, “go ahead, dear …..” was what my husband had said.
Exuberated, I left the bed and went to the bureau to take out a stack of cash.
And I jumped back into the bed thinking that Vincent did not know how much I took.
The moon came up over the window, and I realized that the harvest moon was approaching. Yes, I must greet everyone “Happy Mooncake Festival”. Even though I don’t eat the delicacy. It is very sweet. My tooth is sweet enough.
“Fine,” I heard Vincent said this morning at breakfast. I took it that he knew that I took the money and approved it.
“So, it’s fine right?” again I asked.
“Yes, she is fine,” he thought I was inquiring after MIL.
Who cares about MIL these days?
Chapter 14
Meetings are six times a week, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays we meet too. But it is an impromptu meeting which means that unless there are new threads, we don’t need to discuss.
Laura was happy that Vincent sat next to her. I moved to the other side of Laura and allowed Vincent uninterrupted conversation with her. This is in consideration of the pair of crystal earrings that I bought.
It took Sandra just two seconds to find out that I had new jewelry. Finally, after much small talk, I disclosed the price and Sandra promised to keep it a secret from my husband.
“So, it cost one thousand and thirty-five dollars.” I heard Vincent said as he left to take a glass of water at the coffee table.
How did Laura and Vincent know that I bought a piece of earrings, and how did she know the price? Oh, Laura might have seen my earrings even before Sandra commented, but the price?
My mind was beginning to crack.
The minute I got home I confessed to my husband immediately.
“Were the earrings too expensive and beyond our budget? I took the cash from the bureau.”
“Forget it Audrey, we found her body.”
“But where was it?”
“Behind the school, where the wet market sellers dump the old unwanted frozen foods.”
“Oh, so she was murdered in the school,” I heaved a sigh of relief as I could now confirm that I wasn’t hearing voices. It was the woman the late Fiona Chee who was talking to me.
Chapter 15
Now that we have found the murdered, we could proceed to find the killer.
Let us all sleep quietly under the Buck Moon, and the guy would appear on his own tomorrow under bright sunlight.
Chapter 16
My husband decided to tell me the truth.
“Audrey, I slept with Fiona …. please forgive me ….”
“What?” I still could not hear. Maybe I heard and could not bear the truth.
“Why did you do that?” I whispered, knowing that the truth would implicate him as the number one suspect.
“She was attractive, and I fell for her …. “Vincent’s face was dark like the moon covered by a layer of thin clouds.
But why did you have to do that??? Audrey was furious.
“Fact is that I didn’t murder her.” He emphasized.
“Then why are you telling me that?” Audrey lowered her voice this time.
“I couldn’t take it anymore. Doing all the investigations has made me sick.”
“But you are not sick right?” Audrey was pretty sure.
“The money that I left in the bureau was for you to buy anything that you like, but I didn’t know that you would turn up at the meeting with it, before telling me where it came from,”
“What do you mean?”
“It was the same pair of earrings that Fiona was wearing when she slept with me,”
“So, it is recycled goods???”
“Yes, am afraid so,”
“OMG. OMG.”
So, I became Fiona number two!
This just too bizarre to carry on, before I too go crazy.
Chapter 17
The truth must come out, as all truths would.
I could see the moon ascending on the horizon whilst I was lying in bed with my husband. Tonight, I did not feel like asking him for a goodnight kiss, instead I pulled the blanket over my face, and I left the lamp by my side on without turning it off. I could feel Vincent turning cold beside me.
No investigators came, no police came, in fact, it was just my husband and I in the bedroom, lying side by side, unable to talk to each other.
But if no one killed Fiona, then who did? The answer is simple. Vincent slept with Fiona, and he wanted to shut her up so he killed her. But he couldn’t contain the truth so he confessed to his wife Audrey. Now that the truth is out, he had to finish himself up and he poisoned himself. How did he do it? By cyanide? By Dettol? Or by Baygon? Whatever, we don’t really care now, as we all know that the murderer is also dead. And that Fiona is residing in heaven now.
Heaven is where happiness can be found. Heaven is when you talk to your friends, and they respond to you. Heaven is when you feel that you can manage your own affairs without having to depend on others to decide for you, and heaven is when you are allowed to make your own decisions, and heaven is when no one orders you around and tell you what to do. Most of all, heaven is when God answers your prayers. Heaven is when you are allowed to talk to yourself, smile to yourself and no one says that you are mad.
But just don’t be rude to me. Don’t open conversation with me as a stranger when you don’t have to. Because I am not God.
I need to think of what to do tomorrow. And for this I can decide for myself. I don’t need to pray and ask God for discernment for a simple thing like that. Some people have been moved to a position where they need to pray before they eat. I count my blessings every day. I count my money every day. And I thank God for giving me a set of good parents. They created me. And once done, they let God handle me. No, I have not met God in person yet. I am simply residing in his realm, the milky way known as the galaxy.
Yes, I told a stranger off today. She was there to make conversation with me. She tried to pretend that a stranger was my husband, and she pretended that she was waiting for her partner to join her in the queue.
Nastiness has its rewards.
Chapter 18
The good old monster came.
He said he was my friend, and I took his word for it.
No matter how hard I try, I still believe in people, and open my mouth to strangers when they start talking to me. I am not a mannequin, and I am not dead. I just want to learn how to be nasty, as everyone says, we islanders are naive and small. But I am stronger than you think, as I am slowly beginning to learn to be nasty, guided by the gentle monster.
Lying in the woods contemplating my future with Dave ….
This morning as I looked into the mirror I found that I was just an ordinary fat woman. I stared at the reflection for a while and then I told myself to hurry up as Dave was waiting for me at the Black Brewer’s House.
I went to the toilet and I took the set of outfit, lying on the bathtub. There were two sets. I always prepared one, which was what I had planned for the day and then another one, in case the weather turned out to be colder for that day.
Singapore was a hot city with temperatures ranging from 24 to 34 degrees sometimes soaring to 37 degrees when it became very hot. The humidity was so high that I could never perspire. My clothes were mainly purchased from Max Mara so that I looked good. They were pricey, but they made me looked like I was the wife of a rich man. In my line of job, I had to dress expensively.
I knew that I was late for Dave, but I was not late for work. Dave was waiting for me at the café when I arrived. Over the telephone Dave said:
“Don’t be late,” and then “I have good news for you.”
It was true that I was very disturbed by what he told me three days ago, so frankly I didn’t expect good news from him today.
I needed only five minutes to powder my face after adding a touch of foundation, as I continued with my eyebrow colour, eye shadow and rouge. I didn’t have any standard sequence but usually this was the order in which I made up my face. There are only two ways to apply for an eye shadow: smoky vs. intensive. And this morning I used the intensive. Once I was satisfied that my face was generally presentable, I put on number 277.
Number 277 was the colour code Rose Declaration for that particular lipstick. This was my favourite colour. I had several lipsticks and I changed my lipstick everyday but invariably I went back to number 277.
I carried a lipstick with me to touch up every now and then and I didn’t buy two of the same colour so number 277 was my default lipstick. Dior staff already knew that I was buying that colour the moment I walked into the boutique. I was a regular office worker. By that I meant that my work was sedentary and using the PC most of the time. I was a secretary to an advocate and solicitor whose family law was her bread and butter. To be a secretary you needed to pass certain examinations, you had to know shorthand.
Of course, I knew how to type, but I used the keys at random according to what I saw. I didn’t have my hands positioned on the keyboard with readiness the moment I started to type. But I typed fast, I kept long fingernails and I liked the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboards. I was fast enough to type affidavits for Bernadette Tucker. And this was what I had to do every day.
I had to type an affidavit on a divorce case so when I agreed to meet Dave at the restaurant this morning I made him come at 7:00 a.m.
I forgot to callBlack Brewer’s House to find out what time they opened this morning and to book a table for two. Cafes don’t usually take bookings. Dave said that he had something important to tell me at first. He didn’t say that it was good news. Now that he mentioned that it was to be good news I guessed the result.
The file name of the affidavit was Dave Chong Seng Wee vs. Doreen Sim May Ling!
If this were the case, there was no need for Dave and myself to meet at all. We could postpone the meeting by another twelve hours to 8:00 p.m. since I already knew the result. It was not good for the both of us to be seen in public together, now that his divorce is on the cards.
By now you must have guessed that Dave and I were not married to each other. No, we were not. But that didn’t matter. Dave and I had been having this relationship for at least eight months by now. We caught on like a house on fire. The minute Dave and I were left alone together we started to kiss. Dave was my physiotherapist and I was one of his patients. But all that had got to be changed.
Dave had told me that he was going to divorce Doreen once he set up his new clinic in California in America. And then we were both going to move there to start our own little family.
Until this happened. Three days ago, Dave told me that his wife Doreen was now pregnant, or so she claimed.
“She told me that she was urine positive,” Dave informed me whilst we were at Black Brewer’s House on 21 August.
That made things complicated. Dave was going to leave the house without letting Doreen know about it. He was going to pack his overnight bag for a three nights’ stay at Bangkok and then meet me at the Shang Palace Resort and from there we would travel up to Japan, then our final destination at California.
I have a house in California. It was vacant at the moment and I was thinking of renting it out to some locals. But that was before Dave’s proposal came.
Yes, Dave had proposed to me, on 9 August 2001, the National Day of Singapore. He said that this was his auspicious day, as it happened to be his birthdate as well so therefore that he was able to get himself exempted from having dinner with his mother-in-law on his birthday every time. He loathed his mother-in-law the Mrs. Sim as she always asked him to give her physiotherapy treatment which required him to kneel before her.
Dave drunk coffee and I loved coffee. That was how we found ourselves together. I was drinking coffee in Dave’s clinic when he was teaching me the exercises I must do in order to alleviate the pain caused by my flat footedness. And then whilst demonstrating with his hands on my right foot, the cup of coffee I placed on top of his stool by the side fell onto the carpeted floor.
The coffee had not been touched so quite a lot of liquid was spilled. Dave was operating a one-man show so naturally it became our job to clean up the mess. And then our eyes met. I couldn’t describe to you what happened next, but I could tell you that we fell in love with each other instantly. Dave had very strong hands and I liked his large muscular arms.
Subsequently Dave told me that he started to stop dry-cleaning his clinic coat, as there was a brush of my lipstick on his collar, the number 277. Afterwards we started to see each other on alternate days. We skipped coffee and breakfast at Black Brewer’s House to be with each other for just the half hour in the mornings. That was from 9 August 2001 to today. I mentioned the dates for they were crucial in this story.
We first met on 3 June 2001, then we made love for the first time on 29 June and then on 9 August again. Dave gave me the sapphire ring on 9 August as a token of his love. As a matter of fact, I was having it on my ring finger now.
On 21 August, Doreen announced that she was pregnant so that made it probable that Dave and Doreen have also had sex with each other on or before 29 June, or between anywhere 29 June to 8 August, assuming that Dave stopped touching Doreen after he was engaged to me on the night of 9 August.
This was all very speculative. And I was talking like a jealous wife when actually I was the third party.
Never mind who I was, the important thing was that I was going to be Dave’s official wife very soon. We might not be able to get married in the States, as Dave must have been legally separated from Doreen for at least three years before he could get a divorce. We were both Singapore citizens, so the Women’s Charter applied.
We left Singapore for Bangkok on 31 August and we arrived in Japan after six hours. After that it was an overnight flight to the U.S.
Once we arrived at the States we could move about freely. We would not have to worry about being found together, we would be able to act as a couple. And most of all we would be able to live in the same house as man and wife. No one would bother us, and we need not bother anyone. I was prepared to be his common law wife and the sapphire ring could serve as our engagement as well as our wedding ring.
Dave could establish himself in California and who knows, they might want to engage him as a consultant to the California Keep Fit Centre. I could get a job in another law film at the same time.
All these were just my conjecture. Of course, it was my wishful thinking that everything would turn out well for the two of us. Whether Dave was having sex with me and Doreen Sim at the same time would no longer be an issue. I didn’t blame Dave for the false alarm from Doreen. Doreen was, after all, the wife and she had every right to conjugate with Dave.
In any case, I had no idea if Doreen were telling Dave the truth, and if Dave carried the truth to me. By now I had learnt a bit of law from Bernadette Tucker. What Dave told me from Doreen was hearsay, as I was not privy to the conversation. The fact of the matter was that Doreen might have known about my affair with Dave, which made it very inconvenient.
I was sure that if Dave loved her he would not have slept with me. Fact that we had sex was prima facie evidence that the marriage between Dave Chong Seng Wee and Doreen Sim May Ling was over and done with. I had never met Doreen Sim, but I assumed her to be loud and bossy.
As my thoughts were travelling with me on the train I missed the stop at City Hall. I was very annoyed with myself that I over shot to Marina South. Now I couldn’t change train, I had to go back to City Hall again and then disembark. From there I would go over to Novena.
Novena was where my office was. I was working with Bernadette Tucker the first-class advocate and solicitor who specialized on family law. And over the years I had learnt a thing or two from her and that was why I was so familiar on calculating the conjugal dates. It was our bread and butter.
Once I arrived at the office the work was overwhelming. Usually Dave and I didn’t communicate with each other during office-hours, as it was not necessary. We met as a matter of course on alternate days. If I were early I would get a seat first and order my own dinner and if he were early he would begin his Prawns Spaghetti with meat sauce without me.
So today I finished my work ahead to as far as I could see for the next two months. I could resign but if Bernadette Tucker knew about my relationship with Dave, word might sneak out that I was leaving. Doreen was not a stupid woman. I knew who she was.
So today when the day ended at 6:30 p.m. I packed my slippers to bring it home. I liked this pair of slippers very much as it was made of colorful beads. It was one of its kind from Thailand, my proposed destination, even if it was just for transit. Mrs. Tucker would not notice such a minor thing and packing of slippers did not necessarily mean that I was resigning.
Unless I went up to her to ask her for a resume she would not have come to the conclusion that I was leaving her employ.
I could be bringing in a new pair tomorrow. I did not have to lock the office door as Mrs. Tucker; Bernadette was still on her iMac. I took the MRT home without meeting Dave this evening again.
The moment I arrived at the seventh floor where I lived, I could hear Rover’s bark. The dog knew that I was home. I put my key to the keyhole and turned the knob at the same time. Once I was inside, automatically I used the remote control to turn on the radio. I needed to know if the Thai Princess Yingluck had resigned. If there were still unrests in Thailand Dave and I might use the other route to the U.S. from Europe. Maybe Dave and I could consider a honeymoon in Italy and Rome first before settling down.
My life was full of expectations and it was just beginning. And then as I was thinking of the music and the wine I stepped into the bathtub. There was no water yet. I turned on the tap to let the water fill the tub, the water was burning hot. I shouted, “Shits!”
And then I realized that I had forgotten to switch off the water heater when I left for work this morning.
Yes, Dave’s phone call was certainly good news. He called this morning to tell me that his wife Doreen wasn’t pregnant after the scare. It turned out to be a hoax.
And then I looked into the mirror and realized that I had put on some weight. To find out if this were true I walked slowly to the kitchen to step on the weighing machine. I saw my weight, 53.5 kg. I had always been 43.5 kg, which meant that I had put on ten kilograms. Could this be true? Was the machine spoilt? Then I stepped back and there I saw a note on the kitchen island.
It said:
“Congratulations Darling! The hospital rang and told me that you were pregnant! Love, hubby.”
It was none other than my husband Ethan Ng’s handwriting.
It is not that I am observant. It is just that I always felt her presence. She does not wear perfume, so you couldn’t say that her fragrance made me notice her. You’d think that I like her. I can’t say that you are wrong. But there is nothing conspicuous about her. It is just that I notice her whenever she comes in.
I have not told any of my colleagues that she comes in so regularly. They should know about this. But there is no cause for alarm. The drawers are locked tight, and unless you have the right keys you cannot open them.
No, I don’t think that she is here to steal anything. She looks like any ordinary customer. She is. Yesterday she was wearing the unisex Atlaswatch, and today she is looking at the silver pearl earrings. There is no pattern to her buying. She chooses her jewels at random.
This woman has an oriental face. And she smiles often. When she smiles, she gives you the feeling as though she has known you for a long time. I like it when she has chosen a piece and she asks me to attend to her. Sometimes Gloria helps her put on the bracelet she has chosen, and that was the most exciting time. I would place my own bet as to whether she would buy that item. Invariably, I am right.
Today she is wearing the Atlas watch again. The Atlas watch belongs to the last season and is no longer a sales item. Our shop also carries pendants with the design of each letter of the alphabet in Apple Chancery font style in diamonds, and I always wonder when she would buy the piece with the letter “J.”
I know her name.
Yes, we have our regular customers. And we have our irregular customers. The regulars, we memorize their names by heart, but we are told not to address them in case they didn’t like it. It is not the practice of our boutique to influence the customers in the choice of their purchase. So, we avoid calling customers by name. We recognize their faces, and we give them the service as though we were their butlers at home.
I am not young. If you look just at my face you would guess that I am somewhere between twenty-five to thirty. But actually, I am already thirty-six. I am not married yet, and I have not been married before. Neither have I any imminent plans to marry. I don’t even have a close girlfriend. But I am not lonely.
This job at Stephanie and Co. is my career. It occupies all of my time and energy. There is no retirement age for this job, and I thought I can work here comfortably till retirement age at sixty-two. And so, I am a happy and contented salesman. Yesterday, just before I left for work, Steve Chan, the shop manager, handed me the letter. It is a once-in-a-lifetime offer to be posted to the head office in New York. I would be made a salaried staff, and the take-home would be three times what I get here.
Excited, this morning, I woke up at 6:00 a.m. After I dropped off at Marmalade Turn I walked into Toast Box to have my usual coffee and sandwich. Nobody disturbs me there as I read the newspapers. I wear my cheap clothes before I arrive at the boutique to change into the black jacket, black trousers, and black shoes.
We are all given a set of jewellery to choose from, and we put them on before we start work. This week, I have the “Eternal Circle” ring, and it is really beautiful. Every time I look at it, it makes me happy. I am happy to be working here at Stephanie & Co. The jewels are nice, the shop is nice, and my colleagues are nice.
We don’t fight over customers. We all share the same clientele. If, for example, Joyce makes more sales than me this month, it does not mean that Joyce takes home more. We are salaried staff, and we get paid a fixed sum every month.
But there is one drawback. We are not allowed to buy the jewels in the shop. We could only wear them at work from 10:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. We are to choose our favourite for the week each Monday. And after the last customer has left, we are to surrender all our adornments to the boutique safe and go home without anything.
I have considered resigning. Once I am no longer a staff I am free to browse around the boutique as though I were a customer, and then I could choose to buy anything I like. But I am not sure what I want to buy yet, so I hold my resignation. If I reject the offer to New York, I must resign.
“Excuse me, can you show me this?”
A tall and well-groomed woman dressed in a pink top and black skirt raises her voice a little.
A man and her young child are standing by her side. I quickly walk to the counter and unlock the drawer with the key I am holding. She wants a gold bangle. The bangle has the engraved words “Stephanie & Co.” on it, so that makes it expensive.
“How much is it?” Her husband asks.
I know the price by heart, but I still flip over the tag before I give her the price. We are told to do so, as the act of looking at the tag gives the transaction a trade flavour.
I allow this customer to ponder over it as she swings her right hand in consecutive motions, as though to see if the bangle will drop off by itself. Then her husband says something, and they both walk away, leaving the bangle on the glass shelf. I quickly put the bangle back in the drawer before I forget.
You’d think that there are no thefts in this exclusive shop. No, there are. Every day, one or two items disappear. The manager Steve Chan investigates, and we have to account for our carelessness. So, the stocktaking at night is always very stressful for all of us.
There she is again, walking around. I really don’t know what I should do with her. Shall I approach her and offer her one or two designs? Or shall I ask her out for dinner? She is, after all, very pretty, and I am still single.
I try to stay as close as I can get to her. As she moves to the bracelet section, I go to that side of the drawers, so I can attend to her as soon as I can if she spots anything she likes. Every item here is interesting. Stephanie and Co. carries the most exclusive jewellery, and its headquarters are in New York. If I am to accept the posting to New York at all, I must move fast. I must invite her out, bringing her out of the Stephanie & Co. context so that I can speak to her in private.
I want to tell her how pretty she is and how much I am in love with her. I want to tell her about my offer in New York, and that time is running out for the both of us. We can even start a family there and have our child born in the U.S. to get U.S. citizenship. I want to find out all about her. And I want to say now, that I am prepared to buy her the silver bracelet if she would allow me to.
Since I am interested in her, I must announce my intention as soon as possible. I have even saved up enough money to buy her theStephanie & Co. diamond ring for the engagement. So, I approach her at the counter and I ask,
“Do you want me to pay for this bracelet?”
I expect her to smile at me, but she looks at me blankly.
Then I hear a voice over my shoulder,
“Excuse me, is Brian or Joyce attending to this gentleman?”
Both Joyce and I get a shock. I turn my head, and I see Steve Chan signal me to attend to the male customer who has just walked in. Steve Chan gives us the dirty look, to remind us that the customer comes first.
As usual, Joyce gives her winning smile, as though she has known the customer for a long time. I know that I have lost my chance. I should have asked her just now, as she was walking around. Later on, I will not have the courage to ask her if she wanted to marry me. I am to give Steve Chan my answer by the end of today. I am not sure about resigning, because I don’t want to leave Singapore. If I am in Singapore, I can still walk into Stephanie & Co. to see her anytime.
The new customer wears a Hermes belt and matching shoes, so we know that he could well afford any item in the shop, and we must put on our best sales manner. She always has better skills than I. The customer asks her how much the Atlas watch costs, and
“Is it still available?”
“No, I am afraid not, sir,” she replied.
“Can I order it from your headquarters in New York?” he asks.
“No, I am afraid not, sir,” she is apologetic.
Tonight, as we work over the jewels to be worn tomorrow by the four of us who work at Stephanie & Co. – Joyce Tang, Gloria Yip, Timothy Lim, Steve Chan, and myself – I find that it is my turn to wear the Atlas watch. I am to wear it for one week before my departure from the company. My last day is on 23 January 2011. I can leave at 1:00 p.m. on that day because it is my last day.
At the same time, Steve Chan gives me an invitation card. It says:
Mr. and Mrs. Chan are honoured to invite you, Mr. Brian Wong, to their eldest son Steve Chan Choi Liang and his fiancée Joyce Tang Mei Yin’s wedding dinner reception held at the Dragon & Phoenix Hotel at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday, 23 January 2011.
It is not uncommon to take a cruise-to-nowhere whenever your love affair ends, this is one of the ways to distract ourselves. In life you are allowed to make any petition to God, God is bound to answer as He is entirely in charge.
And so Lily decided to put her faith in God and to put her life in His hands. She booked herself on the Pacific Affair Cruise anchoring at the port of Phu My, the gateway to Ho Chi Minh City. It was a seven-day cruise and frankly all she wanted was to test God, to see if He would bring her through to the end of the voyage. Lily couldn’t swim, so if the ship sank at any time during the voyage her life would not be spared, and that was even provided that she was not the first one to die.
So she packed her suitcase and arranged for all her bills to be paid by direct debiting from her bank account. The credit card bill she settled in advance so that she would have sufficient credit advance in her account to do shopping.
It turned out that the Wong family and another couple Pierre and Miss Fiona were the only two other Singaporean families on board the Pacific Affair Cruise. Lily felt isolated, as she was the only one without a companion. She had meant to use this cruise as a chance to finish reading Jeffrey Archer’s ‘Best Kept Secret’ and also be alone, to reflect on her past and to make some New Year resolutions.
Lily haven’t been on a cruise before so when she packed she considered the swimming costume. After she tried it on she was surprised to find that she could still fit into it. But then she told myself that if she ever needed to swim she must have had landed herself in the high seas in which case she won’t have time to put on the her costume anyway. Then she packed it thinking that maybe she could use it for sunbathing on the open decks. Lily saw herself lying on a deckchair amidst a group of ladies in bikinis. It was a mistake.
At the line-up to board the ship Lily already saw Miss Fiona. She was wearing a black beaded top and a flared skirt with tiny glittering sequins embedded all over. Decorated with more than ten (she didn’t manage to count the exact number) silver and gold bangles on each hand she looked like an Egyptian lady. Her face though pretty was small so her features have the tendency to squeeze into the heart shaped face.
Miss Fiona noticed that Lily was looking at her but preferred to look away instead of greeting her even though they were in the queue for the same cruise liner. It was a little unfriendly since chances were that they would meet again later. Lily thought of her companion the man in a plain orange T-shirt with jeans a rather good looking chap. They looked obviously incompatible. For a moment Lily felt sorry for him and wondered what made him marry her in the first place. She assumed that they were married.
By the time they checked in it was time for dinner. Lily did not forget to take ‘Jeffrey Archer’ with her to the dining room. When she arrived at the Mediterranean Restaurant she was surprised to find their names written on cards and placed on the table, which gave the them no chance to choose their own seats. Lily was alone so she didn’t really mind, and as the experience was new she hasn’t made any enemies yet. In case anyone wanted to ask her for her resume she was ready to sell him any one of the listings she had. Lily earned a living as a real estate agent.
As Lady Luck would have it, the Egyptian Lady sat down next to Lily. Lily glanced at the name card and saw the name ‘Mrs. Fiona Yee’. So this was Miss Fiona! Lily told myself she must not be rude to her in case she turned out to be her next buyer or seller. Her husband the attractive man sat next to her.
Lily found that throughout dinner the man and Miss Fiona never spoke a word to each other. The diner on her other side was a Japanese man who concentrated on the food in front of him. Before each dish was served he would pick up the menu placed in the centre of the table to see first what it was. When Lily heard him speak in Japanese she decided to give the acquaintance a miss.
The second day.
Coffee was bitter and as Lily took her last sip a man appeared by her side.
“Want some sugar?” He offered.
Lily looked around and she saw the attractive man, but couldn’t find Miss Fiona.
“She is not married to me,” as though reading her thoughts the gentleman said,
“My name is Pierre.”
“Oh ok, I am Lily,” she replied, a little reluctantly.
Lily wasn’t planning on befriending the couple since she sensed that Miss Fiona was not willing.
“Why are you telling me this?” Lily asked.
Lily remembered Miss Fiona being addressed as “Mrs. Yee” on the name card so how could this man not be married to Miss Fiona?
Just to confirm Lily asked, “Are you Mr. Yee?”
“Yes,” Pierre answered.
“Your wife is very pretty,” Lily said, just to clarify that she has no other intentions.
Instead of which this man said, “But I am not in love with her.”
“So you want me to help you get rid of your wife?” by now Lily thought that she was reading Pierre.
“Ah, you are beginning to make sense,” he said.
So Lily said, “I am not sure I can help you,” she became a little cold.
This man wanted something from her, and she was not sure how he was going to reward her for her efforts.
“How long have you been married?” Lily was not interested in the man but she was interested in his story. Lily liked gossip.
“Less than three months. We were supposed to consummate our marriage but it is almost impossible on the cruise so I have given up.”
At this point Pierre suddenly looked quite vexed.
Then Lily said, “The simplest thing to do is to ask your lawyer to serve her a letter.”
Pierre changed the topic, “Listen, do you want to spend the evening with me, if you want we can adjourn to the deck area.”
Lily had nothing better to do for the night except the movie that was going to be shown at the theatre ‘The Crossing’ so she went along with Pierre.
“Fine with me,” Lily said.
Pierre took the lead and he walked three steps ahead of Lily so that they didn’t look like they were together. Finally, they reached the open air and he took out a chair from those neatly arranged on a stack. Pierre placed it next to a table and he went and pulled out another one. It had been raining and the furniture was meant to dry out in the sun.
After Pierre saw that there was no more water collected on the seat he sat down. Lily knew that this might take them another hour. But as far as Lily was concerned she was not running away from anybody or any situation. Lily was a free woman. So she was relaxed. Lily has surrendered to God.
“Are you married?” Pierre asked.
So this was what it was all about!
Lily got fed up. This man wanted to sleep with her, and he didn’t want his wife to know about it. She smirked and her expression gave her away.
“No, it is not what you think,” Pierre urged. The urgency in his voice made Lily a little uneasy.
“I want you to pretend to be having an affair with me,” he said.
“If you don’t have a husband it makes the affair a whole lot easier,” Pierre continued.
“Pretend?” Lily looked at him.
“Yes, go to the dining room with me and we act like we are a couple.”
“How do you explain this to Miss Fiona?” that immediately sprung to Lily’s mind. She was still thinking of the unfriendly woman.
“She won’t be there,” he said.
“Why not?” Lily asked.
“Don’t worry, she has gone to the cinema,” Pierre offered.
Lily felt a little relieved, as she didn’t want to be mistaken for stealing another woman’s husband. In any case she was not very good at it.
Frankly speaking, Lily was a little excited by this proposal and she wanted to give it a try. After two days she was beginning to get a little bit bored by the monotony of this voyage. No one else here seemed to speak the Singaporean language.
“What time is dinner?” Lily decided to take the initiative. Pierre looked at his Rolex watch and grinned.“ Thanks for the cooperation,” he said.
When they stepped into the dinning lounge, Pierre did not forget to put his arm around Lily’s shoulder to suggest that they were a couple and she rather liked his attention. As they sat down to dinner, they were introduced to the Wongs. Lily did not forget that she has eczema so she told Pierre.
Pierre removed the prawns from her plate and enjoyed them thoroughly eating her portion. No one else at the table spoke to them. Most of them spoke Japanese and green tea was the only beverage served at the table. Lily offered Pierre her Tiramisu cake and in return Pierre promised to walk her back to her cabin.
Lily was surprised that Pierre did not attempt to hold her hand along the corridor, then she rationalized that he didn’t need to, as she was only his pretend wife, and now that there wasn’t anyone around there was no need to display any form of intimacy. Lily walked with him to the end of the corridor where her cabin was situated.
Then she waited to see if he would want to come in but Pierre merely said, “Wait for me to come around tomorrow morning before you go down for breakfast, I’ll knock on your door.”
Disappointed, Lily nodded her head to signal agreement and saw that he walked back to his cabin.
The third day.
The entire day went by with just Pierre and she. They walked from starboard to port and then port to starboard after they had climbed the stairs. The carpets on each deck were different so that the passengers could distinguish the decks and find their way easily.
It took quite a while for Lily to orientate herself that the left was port and the right was starboard. There was a gift shop on the mezzanine level and she used that as a compass point. Several times she was tempted to walk in to browse around. There was a piece of jade displayed on the glass case by the side of the shop so from the outside you could spot it. The item that she really liked was a jade pendant hanging from a gold chain. The chain itself was 22 carat gold, which put the price up and she couldn’t buy the pendant without the gold chain.
Yesterday she had gone in to try to bargain with the salesgirl but the girl refused to lower the price. Now every time she walked past she couldn’t help peering at it and today she went in again hoping that the salesgirl would decide to reduce the price.
In the third evening, Lily tossed and turned in the small confined space. Throughout the night she was wondering if she had made a mistake agreeing with Pierre entering into this play. Now that the stage was set and she had been chosen as the lead actress it seemed she could not back out. But where was Miss Fiona? Being on the high seas alone in the cabin could be a lonely affair.
Then Lily thought of going up to the deck to take in some fresh air but it was dark and it was quite a long way up there. Lily was not worried about her safety, as on a cruise everyone was stuck on the ship, any intelligent criminal would know that he couldn’t get away with it. So she simply got herself going with the hot water from the kettle. Lily slept only between 3:00 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., when she heard the loud knocking on her cabin door she knew that she had woken up late.
“What happened to you?”, the moment she opened the door she saw the well-dressed Pierre.
On the fourth day.
This morning Pierre was wearing a Ralph Lauren polo shirt. He looked fresh and ready to take on a new day whereas Lily was still drowsy as she had only four hours sleep. Lily told him to wait for her as she took her shower and got changed.
Once out in the open Pierre put his arm on Lily’s shoulder again. This time she was already prepared for the gesture but she was just wondering what he was doing with Miss Fiona the night before.
Did he sleep with her in that small cabin space?
Lily shrugged the thought away as Pierre offered her coffee. They were late so the usual familiar faces were absent from the table.
Already they were into the fourth day of the voyage and it was getting a little boring. Lily still hasn’t started on ‘Jeffrey Archer’. The program for the day did not quite excite her either. All she wanted to accomplish at the end of this voyage was to acquire the jade pendant. She really liked the green and the design on the piece. The price of the item had exceeded her credit limit and on high seas there was no line to call her banker in Singapore.
They walked around after breakfast and they drifted into the casino. In the mornings it was closed so they tried the fruit machines. There were at least twenty on display you had no clue which one was going to give you money. The fruit machine was probably designed for the laziest gamblers for all you do is to pull at the handle.
Whether you got a win or not depended entirely on the chance which was preprogramed on the sets. No one was there so Lily was allowed to choose whichever machine she fancied. She arrived at one and she tugged at it. A whole lot of coins spilled out. They came pouring out until the machine was tired and satisfied. Lily was stunned until she realized that she had to bring the money to the cashier to change them into paper currency.
Pierre promptly got a bag and helped her to collect the coins and brought them to the man. They shared the proceeds and for a moment they were happy. Then they automatically walked up to the promenade again.
The sea breeze was refreshing and Lily felt at peace with nature. She looked into the deep sea and for the first time she realized that the colour of the sea was black. Lily stared into its depth and followed the rhythm of the waves pushing forward and backwards. The motion of the sweeping seawater was mesmerizing.
Lily let the sound of the smooth running engine program her brains into sleep mode and once again she surrendered herself to God. She told Him that if He wanted to take her now He could do so. Lily would have died without regrets. Her parents had left her a long time ago and she had no siblings and no more immediate relatives. She did not have anyone to whom she must give account.
Life went on and Lily would just let Him lead her. She looked at the horizon far beyond and she could only feel the light wind blowing at her face. There was nothing but the sea in front of her so that she could not even fix an image of the scenery in front of her. For a moment she had forgotten about everyone that she knew before she boarded the ship.
“What are you thinking of?”
And then suddenly Lily realized that she was not standing there alone. It was Pierre. Pierre was her friend now and she have him to account to.
“Do you want to hear my story?” He opened up.
“Sure, if you have something to tell me,” Lily said.
He went straight into the heart of the matter and said as a matter of fact,
“I want to divorce her but I don’t want to give her half of my money.”
How mercenary!
Lily thought to herself. Nonetheless she allowed Pierre to continue. But he said nothing. There were only the two of them now and she guessed Pierre trusted her enough to give her his thoughts. But what could she say? Splitting the matrimonial assets was part and parcel of divorce or annulment whatever you call it and she couldn’t help him there.
So Lily asked the next logical question, “Do you have a lot of money?”
“I own ‘Rendell Properties’”.
‘Rendell Properties’ was one of the estate agencies in Singapore and also the largest. Lily did try applying for a job there but she was late for the interview so she lost the job. Lily took a deep breath, and she started to think how wonderful it would be if she could take over his relationship with his wife from here. At that time, Lily still felt that it was wishful thinking.
“You are getting there now,” Pierre finally gave her a wicked smile.
Lily looked away pretending to be disinterested. If Pierre wanted her to replace his wife it would be for him to make the first move. The wind was blowing at them and Lily allowed Pierre to use his hand to tidy up her long hair. He pulled them to one side and pushed them to the front. And then they continued to stand there for a long time until it was time for dinner again.
They were one of the first guests to arrive. Their usual table was half full and she saw that the Singaporean family was already there. Lily still hadn’t sorted out which one of the two men is related to the girl with short permed hair.
This time the older of the two was seated next to her. She gave them a smile and they sat down on her left.
Pierre took the seat beside her and he helped her with the napkin. Lily looked around for Miss Fiona but couldn’t find her. When the waiter started serving the dishes she appeared at the door, saw Pierre, and she walked to the other dining table. Lily could see that their relationship was already estranged. Her conscience was now clear.
As usual after food Pierre walked Lily by the starboard. They passed the gift shop and Lily was happy to see that the piece of jade was still there. It sat quietly among the other items but somehow she felt that it did not belong there. It was too beautiful and exquisite to be among the rest of the semi-precious stones.
This jade was real; it was a collectors’ item not easily found in jewel shops. Lily was surprised that the gift shop was selling it. But that was not her concern. If she liked it she would just buy it off the shelf. The fact was that Lily couldn’t afford it. It was selling at thirteen thousand five hundred and sixty U.S. dollars. Lily looked at it and decided that it was no use going in to ask the salesgirl for the price again. She already said that all items were at fixed price.
Lily turned to Pierre and he was looking at the same thing. “Fancy the jade?” surprisingly he asked.
“Yes, it’s very nice.” Lily commented.
On the fifth day.
At 7:30 a.m., Lily waited for Pierre to come around before she went out for breakfast even though he did not instruct her when he sent her to her cabin the night before. It had become a habit for them to be together. Miss Fiona was out of Pierre’s life for now.
Lily didn’t know why Miss Fiona agreed to come on to this cruise with Pierre in the first place. In any case, Lily was sure that Pierre was keeping tap on her so she needn’t worry. Pierre and Miss Fiona were still sharing the same cabin. Lily doubted if the ship had another spare room for Miss Fiona to move out to. By now most of the people on board saw Pierre and Lily as a couple and she doubted if anyone bothered about their non-existent affair. Lily was not Pierre’s mistress until she slept with him.
“Don’t tell lies,” suddenly Lily heard a man’s voice, loud and angry.
Lily turned around and she saw one of the people in the other Singaporean group. She recognized him as being the father of the one with permed hair. His name was Chai. There were three of them and she never got around to saying hello. Lily looked at the girl and she seemed distinctly miserable.
What did she lie about?
Lily inclined her ear ready to take in the other part of the conversation.
“I am sure you have lost it,” Chai said to the girl.
“Shall I put up an advertisement?” the girl asked.
“Whatever for? The thief won’t return it,” Chai paused for a while then continued.
“Forget about it,” Chai waved his hand dismissively and put the conversation to an end.
But the girl still looked dazed as if struggling to recollect her thoughts. Lily was tempted to go up and console her. Obviously she lost something valuable.
The opportunity came for Lily to talk to the girl when she was alone with the girl at the dining table. The rest of the diners at the table together with her father Chai had gone to collect food at the buffet table. Pierre had gone to the restroom.
Lily leaned over to the girl and began, “I heard you lost something ….”
“Yeah, it belonged to my mother,” the girl did not attempt to hide.
Then the girl suddenly grabbed Lily’s hand, “Can you help me find it?”
Startled, Lily quickly said, “What is it?”
“It is my mother’s jewellery,” the girl replied.
“I know it is your mother’s jewellery, but what item is it?” Lily was impatient to find out the damage, not that she thought she could help her.
“My mother passed away last Christmas, it was Christmas Eve, everywhere was playing ‘Silent Night’ and she would have been forty-seven on Christmas Eve.”
“That was young,” Lily couldn’t help making the remark.”
“What did she die of?” Lily ventured a guess, “Cancer?”, it being the most prevalent cause of death nowadays.
The girl seemed lost in her thoughts, then she added, “My dad was having another woman.”
“Ah I get it. This woman stole your mother’s jewellery.”
“Yes, I think so, maybe that is why my father couldn’t care less.”
“So how are you going to get it back?” Lily next logical question.
“I have no idea,” with that they ended the conversation.
On the sixth day.
By now it seemed certain that the marriage between Pierre and Miss Fiona had irretrievably broken down. When Lily walked passed the gift shop with Pierre in the afternoon again Pierre brought her inside. He took out a credit card from his wallet and he gave it to the salesgirl.
“No need to wrap,” Pierre said and the salesgirl took the jade from the glass case.
“I knew that it would look nice on you,” he commented after he put it around her neck.
“I knew that it would look nice on you,” he commented after he put it around her neck.
The salesgirl said, “We don’t issue receipts for credit card transactions since it is already recorded on the card.”
“Now we don’t have to keep coming here,” Pierre turned to Lily.
No one has ever bought Lily such an expensive present. Lily felt a little awkward as such an item would not justify a small cruise ship. This was not the Titanic. Besides it didn’t go with her cheap clothes.
They drifted to the promenade once again and as Lily allowed herself to lean on the railings. Pierre took out his iPhone, “There, let me take a picture of you,” using the camera he took a shot.
There was no harm in it, Lily thought.
Lily suddenly felt like a queen and she couldn’t believe her good fortune.
Could this man have fallen for me? What did I do to deserve this? And what did he see in me? I haven’t even put on my swimsuit, so it could not have been my figure.
Lily wanted to ask Pierre to send her a copy of the photograph he took of her, but she felt it best not to, in case he accused her of being insincere. She was just too happy about the state of affairs.
I have caught a big fish!
Lily felt like a new bride as she stepped into the dining room with Pierre. She was sure that once the ship docked at Ho Chih Min City he would pop the question.
From there they could just take a flight back to Singapore to get married. Of course Pierre would have to annul his marriage first. But that won’t take too long.
As Lily was dreaming away she heard Lyn’s voice,
“Dad, this is mom’s pendant!” Lily looked at her and realized that she was referring to her jade.
Horror and paralysis seized Lily instantly. At once she knew that she had been framed. If Lily said that Pierre gave her this pendant, then she would have to disclose the fact that they were together. Lily did not set up to seduce Pierre. She looked at Pierre and waited for him to say something but he refused to look at her. Why did Pierre not own up himself?
He could have broadcast the fact that he bought her this item from the gift shop. He had her picture in his iPhone. That would be sufficient evidence that it was acquired legitimately. Did he still want Miss Fiona? Lily sat there wondering and praying to God at the same time.
Pierre was completely silent. Then Lily realized that the jade was stolen property and that was why no receipt was issued. So Pierre knew it and hence did not want to confess to the purchase.
Did he know that beforehand?
Was he the one who stole it from Lyn?
If he stole it why would he pay for it again?
And if he did he won’t have told Lily to wear it. There was no reason for him to frame Lily. Someone else stole it from Lyn and Pierre had paid for it. So the only person who could stand as Lily’s alibi would be the salesgirl. But she was nowhere to be found. The gift shop was closed. All eyes were on Lily waiting for her to confess to a crime that she did not commit.
No, I can’t do this. Lily told God.
In a fit of rage, Lily put her hands behind her neck and unhooked the gold chain. She took the pendant down and put it on the dining table. She had nothing to say. Pierre had betrayed her. He refused to defend Lily and to admit that he bought it for her from the gift shop. That would have exonerated Lily from culpability straight away. No, it would appear as though she stole it from Lyn.
How it was stolen Lily had no idea for she did not do it. But only Pierre, the salesgirl and herself knew that Lily was not the culprit. Pierre still refused to look at Lily. She became enraged and her hands were trembling,
“You can have it back.” Lily shouted.
That was all she said before she left the dining table and stormed off into the open deck to greet the night breeze.
In a daze Lily walked towards the promenade. She pushed open the heavy door and found that it was raining. The wind was strong and she found herself fighting it to walk straight. The deck outside was wet and Lily had no idea if she were on the port or the starboard. She walked on even though she knew that she was heading nowhere. This was a ship, after a while she would have to turn back and walk along the other side of the deck.
Thank God no one was after her. They must have gone back to their dinner after having solved the mystery.
They might even decide to call the police to arrest me.
Lily recalled the events that took place. If Pierre didn’t give a statement she would be found guilty. Lily wished she hadn’t accepted this gift from Pierre. She couldn’t have afforded it in the first place.
Why has God done this to me?
Lily decided that she could still go back to the cabin. She walked around the deck until she found the gift shop again, and then she used it as a reference point to walk to her cabin. The shop had a sign with the word ‘Closed’ displayed. Once inside her cabin she opened her luggage and she found her swimming costume. Lily put it on with determination. In the small toilet she could only see the upper half of her body.
Then she grabbed her raincoat and pulled it over her body and she walked out again. The sky was dark. It must have been after 8:00 p.m. No one saw her walking around as she tried to find her way to the promenade again.
There! This was the spot where Pierre took my picture, just next to the flags.
Lily stood there for a while, and then she sat down on the wet floor. Her clothes were wet anyway by now. The rain still hasn’t stopped. And then Lily got up, this time to punish her creator. Lily wanted to look at the colour of the sea again. She dropped the raincoat and leaned her body against the railings of the ship and felt the rain coming down on her face. Then with some difficulty she climbed over.
Back at the dining table, when Lily did not turn up after half an hour, Miss Fiona came up and sat next to Pierre.
“She is gone now,” the woman said.
“Where is my money?” Pierre asked.
“How much did you pay for it?” Chai replied.
“Thirteen thousand five hundred and sixty U.S. dollars,” Pierre recounted.
“And where is the jade?” Miss Fiona asked.
“Here,” Lyn said, picking it up from the table.
“Return it to the gift shop,” Pierre ordered.
The police never came. They were not involved.
The Pacific Affair Cruise sailed on and finally docked at the harbour.
Only one passenger was missing which was Lily. But no one knew when and how it happened. There was no suspicion of foul play as everyone witnessed the ugly scene just the night at the Mediterranean Restaurant. In any case, there was no next-of-kin from Lily when she failed to come back with the cruise.
The State Coroner commented that Lily’s affairs were conveniently tied up but still could not record a verdict of suicide as no body was found. Neither was natural disaster a cause of death.
This morning at the St Mary’s Church in the capital city of Manila, the crowd was large on a Sunday. As usual, the priest read out a random petition. He saw a piece written in green ink. They said that God hears all petitions, and all would be answered, in His time.
Father Jerome Davis picked up the piece of paper and he read it out loud,
“Dear Father, I am a sinner. I have fallen for a married man, and I am adulterous. Mother Mary please intercede on my behalf to tell Father to forgive me. But God, I can’t live without him – the man that I love. And I don’t know how to carry on anymore. So please let me die.”
It was not uncommon for couples to quarrel with each other soon after marriage or even immediately after the wedding ceremony.
I could hear my neighbours quarrelling again. It was the woman who was shouting, as always. I couldn’t hear the exact words but from the tone of the voice I knew that this time it was going to last for at least an hour.
The last time they quarrelled was last night, at about 8:00 p.m., just after dinner. Tonight it was now 8:37 p.m., a little later. Yes, they have been on schedule. Like the local drama it came on every night regularly after dinner. They were behind schedule tonight.
The voice was getting louder. I could only hear the woman scream. No sound from the man. The man never argued with his wife. I have seen Emily before. She was a petite woman. I meant she didn’t smile at you even when you came into contact with her face to face. Of course I did not attempt to greet her. We met only outside along the narrow lane that ran along all thirteen houses at this terrace housing estate.
At first tonight I thought it was the end and that they were not going to quarrel anymore. The man has walked out on the woman. I could hear the car zooming out from their compound next door.
Emily was rather pretty if you asked me. I wouldn’t mind having a girlfriend like her. But then when I thought of her loud voice in their quarrels my mind started to doubt. You never knew a woman until after she has opened her mouth. But, on the other hand, she might not quarrel with me if I were her husband instead. Yes, it must be her husband’s fault. I was partial to Emily.
I didn’t know her at all. I knew her to be Emily because the postman delivered one of her letters into my letterbox. It was marked:
Mrs Emily Lim 9 St Sauveur Terrace Singapore 286913
I hoped the SingPost man hasn’t delivered any of my letters into her letterbox instead, too.
I often wondered whether I should intervene in their quarrels. Maybe one of us should ring their doorbell and woke them up to the fact that the entire neighbourhood could hear them. And frankly in heated quarrels like that, people did get carried away to the point where they simply quarrel for the sake of quarrelling without a purposeful object. I wondered if they ever remembered what they have quarrelled over. And was it over the same subject every night?
I was very curious as to the topic of their quarrels. I wanted to know what exactly they were quarrelling about, as I would like to be their mediator, to judge if the man or the woman was right. Probably both of them were in the wrong. In the first place, husbands and wives should not enter into any protracted arguments.
Have they taken their marriage vows? But on the other hand, marriage vows only told you, “for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health,” the solemniser never told you that you must not argue with your spouse. I have been married before and I could still remember those lines.
I looked at my watch. It was 9:45 p.m. They have been at it for more than an hour. I thought someone must stop her ugly outbursts. So far tonight the man hasn’t said anything and I was very surprised at his remarkable control. She was usually the one who was shouting. I have often wondered how the demure looking Emily could muster such a loud voice. She must have been very angry.
I was a divorce lawyer so I knew from experience that this couple must be estranged. Maybe one of them was having an affair and the other one was confronting him or her about it. It was more likely for the man to be having an affair rather than the woman. I have observed that Emily seemed to be a housewife for she rarely went out. The car belonged to the man and it was out early in the morning and came back before I was back by 7:00 p.m.
I was living at the immediate neighbouring terrace house. The other adjoining house was vacant, so I was the one neighbour who heard what was going on.
Actually I liked Emily a lot. I looked forward to bumping into her in Chancery Supermarket just outside our estate. It was a small setup and only the daily essentials were on the shelves. I went there every Saturday afternoon at about 6:00 p.m., just after I have woken up from my nap. The store was usually less crowded at this time for by then most people had gone out for their weekend dinner.
The first time I chanced on Emily I didn’t know that she was my neighbour. She was wearing a loose dress like she was carrying a baby but at the same time you could see that her stomach was flat. Her hair was loosely tied up and it gave her a lazy and trendy look at the same time. She wore a pair of high heels, which gave the impression that going to the supermarket was not the only activity for that appearance. I noticed her at once.
On my way back from the supermarket I met her again by accident. I usually took the long and winding road by foot, as it was not too far a distance. It took less than forty-five minutes one way. And then just as I arrived at my street, I saw her standing at the gate opening the padlock. That was how I knew the woman was my neighbour – Emily.
The next day promptly at 8:00 p.m. again I heard a woman shouting from inside the house. It must be Emily the same woman. Fact that she has the keys to the house showed that she lived there, and unless she lived there, she won’t be shouting at the top of her voice. You didn’t go into a friend’s house and started shouting. My logical deduction told me that the woman I saw at the supermarket was Emily my neighbour at number 9.
Since I have seen her, something compelled me to move in, to check on them. Quickly I grabbed my own set of house keys and I went to her front gate. I pressed the bell. I told myself if she asked me why I was there I would simply tell her that I was told that my mail was wrongly delivered to her house.
I rang the doorbell. I stood patiently waiting outside. If they had been quarrelling, they would not hear my visit, or rather intrusion, and a friendly intrusion out of concern. I wished I had a watch with me at the time. I came out of the house on impulse and it was just to the neighbour so apart from the Esprit t-shirt and shorts that I was wearing I carried nothing with me. My handphone was also left in my own house.
I didn’t know how long I waited, but after about fifteen minutes there was no reaction. I could still hear the woman shouting, and it was even louder from just outside the gate. I rang the doorbell a second time, this time a little bit more insistent. Still there was no answer. But on that night at that particular point in time I felt I had to gain entry.
So, I waited for a little while longer and when on the third attempt there was no immediate response, I tried to open the gate manually. All our gates were sensor operated, which meant that you usually use a remote control to open it. But you could also pull it open manually. Surprisingly when I stretched my hand inside and felt the latch, there was no padlock, which meant that the gate wasn’t locked at all.
So, since there was no opposition I walked in with trepidation. I had entirely forgotten about the word “trespass.” Inside the lights were on. Standing at the garden I could not see any figure there. I expected them to be at the dining room. They must have been in the bedroom, probably with the door locked. But then the noise seemed like they were situated on the ground floor.
The bedroom was on the second floor. I knew because I was the neighbour. I lived in a house built to the same architectural design. By this time I couldn’t contain my curiosity any longer. I knocked on the front door and at the same time without waiting for a response I attempted to open the door.
To my surprise the door opened at the turn of the doorknob. I peeped my head inside and I saw no one. By now I could see clearly that no one was downstairs where the lights were on. But someone must be inside the house. No one would have left his house unlocked and vacant at the same time unless he was inviting a thief. I was very sure that I was not a thief, so I became bolder. I was just a friendly neighbour trying to settle a dispute between two persons who were married and who shouldn’t be quarrelling.
As I was thinking I walked up the spiral staircase that led to the second floor where the bedroom was. Still there was no one. Two doors faced me as I reached this level. I knew exactly which was the door to the master bedroom. This door was left open. The other door was also ajar.
With firmness in thought and spirit I stepped in, I had not prepared my speech I had no idea what I wanted to say. All I knew was that I had a mission to accomplish. At that time, I haven’t thought about the fact that I might be perceived as a thief. In any case I felt that I was just an uninvited guest.
No one was inside. The bed was a double bed, and the sheets a dark green. It was actually kind of awful. Most people chose a lighter shade and possibly linen. Then just as I was about to step out, I heard a sob in the bathroom. It was unmistakably clear that someone was crying. At this time, I did not know whom it was, but I knew that I had to look inside and saw to the person who was in need of sympathy. I walked in. And there I saw a woman with long hair, her hair over her face as she was sobbing away.
“What happened?” I asked her.
“My husband left me,” she said.
“But that is no reason to cry like that! Just file for divorce and ask for money,” I said matter of fact. I was mercenary.
I was a divorce lawyer and I handled a lot of these cases.
“No, I don’t want a divorce, not now,” I had forgotten entirely about the image of the Emily I met earlier at the supermarket.
She looked different under the dim bathroom light, and frankly she was not the firm strong character that I thought I knew. I took a step back and I told her I would like to speak to her again. This time properly.
“Wash your face first. Can I talk to you downstairs?” I ordered her politely.
And then I walked out of the master bedroom. I waited for her downstairs in the dining room, but she never came down. Half an hour later I decided to leave the scene to go back to my own house, my mind still thinking of the sobbing woman.
My curiosity have been aroused and I couldn’t put the woman out of my mind. The next morning, I woke up feeling sleepy and I lay in bed for a long time before I could recognize my own room. Last night I went to bed thinking of the sobbing Emily and I placed myself there. I had momentarily forgotten that I was not living there.
The furniture in her house was arranged very much in the same manner as mine since we were in the same set of terrace houses. I was wondering what time it was when I left the house. I got out of bed wanting to rush over there again. But I needed my coffee first. I couldn’t function without a cup of coffee in the morning. I liked the aroma of the beans.
Half an hour later I found myself in number 9 again. I didn’t go up to the bedroom straight away. I paused in the kitchen first. The kitchen was large, much like the one that I had, except that this one has the most beautiful fridge. Her fridge has a mirror as the door. When you stood in front of the fridge you could see your own reflection in the mirror. And her fridge was full of magnets.
I stared at the picture of Emily in a magnet frame stuck on side by side with Mona Lisa. It bore quite a resemblance. She had this unmistakable mystique in her smile. I was tempted to take the magnet of Emily’s picture and “steal” it, putting it inside my pocket. Then I remembered Emily again.
I could see that she has not woken up yet. The kettle has not been turned on and the coffee percolator was empty. I already had my coffee next door before I came. But something told me that she was at home upstairs. I knew that she was alone for her husband’s BMW was not in the garage.
In any case I was not afraid of meeting her husband. I wasn’t doing anything wrong, yet. The front door was left ajar, so it was like an invitation to treat. I haven’t taken anything from the house. Until I removed the picture magnet from her fridge door, I was not a thief.
Automatically I took the kettle to the basin and I filled up the water to the brim. I put the kettle back on the kitchen top and I pressed the little red button at the side of the handle. It would take time to boil. Immediately the kettle gave the sound of water churning inside. I had the option of waiting for the water to boil or to go up to see if she was actually in the house. Invariably my curiosity got the better of me and I left the kitchen to go upstairs.
No one was in the master bedroom. I walked past the wardrobe to the bathroom where I last found her. Nope. The bathroom was tidy. No one was inside. Then I decided to walk to the other parts of the house to see if she was inside the other rooms. The other room on the second-floor room was vacant. I took the winding steps to the third floor.
Two rooms faced me. I peeped into the larger room first then the other one. Neither was there a soul. By now I could safely conclude that no one was inside the house. Then why had the front door been left unlocked?
I was alone in this house now. I could have taken anything lying on the table away when I left this house. And no one would know about it. But I decided not to be a thief. It was not in my nature. I was a divorce lawyer and a reputable one at that. As a matter of fact, I was handling the divorce case between Timothy Chan Meng Chee and Suzie Wong Ai Wen. They were both celebrities and the case was been sensational. Perhaps that was why I was here. I sensed that the couple living in this house needed a separation, and I was about to be the catalyst in the breakup. But then how did I bring about an explosion?
Suddenly something clicked. I went to the bureau and I tore out a piece of paper from the notepad. A pen lay conveniently by the side in a holder made of porcelain. I used the pen and I wrote:
“Be back late, don’t wait for me for dinner.”
Then I took the paper and went into the kitchen. The kitchen was usually the centre of activity in any house. I took the time to decide which magnet I wanted to use and I chose the one of Emily’s picture.
I didn’t want to be a thief. If I wanted Emily’s picture I would ask her for it. I stuck my handwritten note under the magnet onto the side of the fridge near the kettle. No one lived in a house without having to use a kettle. Boiled water was an essential part of living. The water I added into the kettle was boiled by then. The note on the fridge would catch Emily’s attention when she came for breakfast.
It was about 10:00 a.m., and I walked out of Emily’s house under bright sunlight, proud of the fact that nothing had been stolen from the house, so far. I went home, dressed and changed to go to the office. The day was hectic, and I almost forgot about my neighbour and their predicament. This morning I walked out of the house leaving it unlocked, in the same condition as when I had walked in. After all I did not have the keys to the house. I couldn’t have locked it up for them anyway.
When I went home after work that night, I dropped by the Chancery Supermarket to buy a carton of orange juice. There was no sign of Emily as I walked home. The metallic grey BMW was prominently parked at the garage as I was walking past her house to come home, the round blue and white insignia glaring at me. I wondered if my neighbour had seen my note. I peeped in to see if there was any sign of activity.
The lights in the dining room were on as well as the ones on the second floor. They could very well be having dinner together or they might not be having dinner together. But there was definitely no sign of impending quarrels.
I decided to leave them alone.
I have a habit of bringing work home. Tonight, I sat in the library, which was the room on the third-floor, and I was trying to compose an affidavit for Justice Thomas. I knew what kind of approach he would like, and I knew that he liked the profile of my client. So, I was of the strong opinion that I would win this case for Suzie Wong.
But as I was typing the quarrelling from next door distracted my mind. I could hear the door slamming several times and then later on the sound of the engine revving up before the car drove out of the estate. I knew that it was the BMW.
And then I remembered the note I left on the fridge. Did she assume that it came from her husband and asked him about it? If I said he wasn’t coming home for dinner tonight, why would he be back? I wanted to walk into the house again to survey the situation. I still remembered that she was crying in the bathroom two nights ago.
I didn’t know what compelled me, but I walked in again. This time the house looked as though it has been through a hurricane. Books were thrown all over the floor. But thank God the kitchen magnets were still intact. I could see the note I left behind. But beside it there is another:
“I know that you are gone, I will meet you at the 101st Floor for Saints.”
The 101st Floor for Saints was the most expensive restaurant in town. It was right on top of the King’s Cross Building and the tables were arranged at the edge of the balcony so that you got the feeling as though you were sitting at the tip of the cliff dropping 300 meters to the seashore. The only danger was that the lights were dim and you have to be very careful where you were walking. But the decor was laid out in such a manner that you have no chance to walk out of the 101st floor unless you climbed over the tables.
I knew by now that I have unwittingly entered into the lives of Mr and Mrs Lim, but I was not so sure I would want to pull myself out at this stage. I had not formally met Mr Lim. From what I knew, until now, he seemed an absent husband more than anything else. All the while I was hoping to catch a glimpse of him but of that I was unsuccessful. Emily it was the woman I had seen at the supermarket and that night in the bathroom.
At this point I still had the option of turning away and walking out. But I was too intrigued and perhaps too weak to walk away from this house now. I went upstairs to the bathroom again. The bathroom was messy. An eye shadow was left open, with the rouge by its side. The basin was full of traces of foundation, as though she had spilled a bottle of toner on it.
There was still a lingering smell of the perfume that she wore before she left. I took my time inside, wondering if I should clean up the mess. Then I knew what I had to do. I walked out of the bathroom and I went back into the kitchen downstairs again.
I went to the fridge and there I saw the note:
“I know how to jump like a cat.”
I knew I didn’t make that note. This was not my own handwriting. Of course I could recognize my own handwriting. It belonged either to Mr Lim or Emily – I assumed they were legally married. And then I went to the bureau again and found the notepad. This time I noticed that on top of the bureau were a few pictures of a man and a woman together but they were very old photographs.
One of the drawers of the bureau was left open as though no one bothered to close it back. I used the same pen and I wrote on another piece of paper:
“Do you want a divorce?”
Then I grabbed it and I stuck it on the fridge, again using the magnet with her picture on it.
I knew that the couple had begun to correspond via the notes on the fridge by now. And then I walked out of the house, enjoying the cool mint air.
It took only three steps to walk back into my own house. I took out a cigar from my drawer in the living room, originally meant for my guests. I wrapped up the leaves carefully then and I puffed out the smoke before I actually inhaled it. I was certain that Lim would see my note when he came back this evening.
I thought by now I have created a sufficient rift between the couple and I knew the next thing that I must do. Tomorrow before I went to work I would drop off one of my name cards in their letterbox as I passed by their house on the way to work. And then I would wait for the phone call. I didn’t know the Lim’s number so I must pick up any call that came in. I checked that my phone was not on silent.
I was prepared to act for either the husband or the wife. But I was just wondering who would initiate the divorce proceedings. In this case, the grounds for divorce were not totally clear. I ran the list down quickly in my mind. Adultery, desertion, insanity …. I supposed they would have to wait for a three-year separation.
For this I would have to interview either one of them personally myself. Once that happened I would be privy to their lives and the conversations that went on every night. I couldn’t wait to go home during the day, and I did all of my tasks in a haphazard manner. No calls came in.
The gate to my house was usually locked. I did not drive so the front porch was bare. I didn’t have green fingers but I tried to keep a few plants in the garden so that my house did not look too different from those of my neighbours. Mrs Han who lived opposite had her garage filled with palms and azaleas. I was told that she worked at Sentosa Island and came back only in the weekends.
This morning I did not padlock the gate as I was waiting for the gardeners to come in to attend to my little patch of garden. They came in once a fortnight and usually on a Sunday when I was in.
It was a sunny day. And the air was humid and dry. The temperature was a 32 degrees Celsius and it put people in a bad mood. I offered Ah Hock the gardener a drink and he came in to sit down for a short while.
“Do you want me to help you get the contract for the neighbours as well?”
It occurred to me that since Ah Hock was doing the work for my patch of lawn, he might want to do the neighbouring lawns at the same time.
“You mean number 9?” He sounded quite surprised. I caught his expression so I was wondering if he knew them already.
“You know Mrs Lim?” I asked.
“Err, as a matter of fact, yes,” he replied.
“I know her too,” I affirmed.
I wanted to ask him if he ever saw the husband and wife together but before I mentioned her husband, Ah Hock said,
“Do you know that she is a widower from KL?” he continued,
“apparently her husband died three years ago in a fishing trip in Penang …… his boat never returned.”
“Ohh?” My mind went blank. I thought she had a man inside her house?! Don’t tell me she was the one driving the car all this while. Come to think of it, I never saw her husband whom I assumed to be Mr Lim. I always heard the car being driven out of the garage but I never saw the driver.
“Recently she has begun to say that he is back,” Ah Hock continued.
“What do you mean he is back?” I thought he just said that Mr Lim was dead, that was the whole point of the conversation.
“No, I mean …. ”
“What?!” I was getting very perturbed and agitated now, and I was inside the story as one of the characters.
If he were indeed dead, then who was writing all these notes to me on the fridge?
“No, she has been saying that his spirit is back, and that he is in communication with her now,” Ah Hock carried on, oblivious to the look of horror on my face.
The notes!
I must retrieve my notes on the fridge!
What if someone else has seen them? Has she passed it to other people? Who else has seen them apart from Emily herself? It was not meant for other people. The notes were meant for the occupants of the house, specifically she. I was pretending to be Mr Lim writing on his behalf. Gosh! So I had become her late husband. Since when?
To correct this misunderstanding I must act at once. Immediately I walked away from the gardener straight to number 9. I opened the gate, which had the padlock on hanging open. The ease with which I opened the gate and the fact that I did it without attempting to ring the bell beforehand made it all quite implausible.
I knew that Ah Hock must be watching me. But I wanted to take my notes back. I must. I could not be seen as a late person. I was quite superstitious. Some terrible misunderstanding had taken place and I must correct it at once.
I went straight to the kitchen where the same beautiful fridge stood in front of me. This time it didn’t look so beautiful to me. All the magnets were still in place. They look just the same and surprisingly they were still in the same order of arrangement as I last saw it. By now I knew that the orange was placed on top of the night scene of Paris and the handbag was on the left of the frog. I was amazed at the number of magnets she had on the fridge and the designs were all so unique.
I remembered where I put the note where I wrote the words: “Do you want a divorce?”
I knew that if Emily had seen the note and did not intend to go to King’s Cross Building she would have written another note and placed it by the side on the fridge. The fact that my note was still in there meant that there was hope. But she was not at home now.
How did I prevent her from attending our meeting if she had already seen the note? How could I have been so careless as not to see that the poor woman had a death wish when she said that she knew how to jump like a cat? Oh God, how could I ask her to divorce her husband? Was she going to kill herself? If she jumped down from the 101st floor of King’s Cross Building it would be my doing and my doing alone. How I wished I had not been talking to her like this.
But I supposed no one could accuse me of any criminal wrong doing. There was no criminal intent in the first place. If she leaped from the 101st floor and died the verdict would be recorded as suicide and that was all. I didn’t push her over and I certainly would not do so. In order not to incriminate myself I must avoid the King’s Cross Building at all costs until tonight well after the restaurant on the 101st floor has closed business for the day.
And I must pick an alibi immediately. Right, Ah Hock would be the right person. I quickly walked out of number 9, and I went back to Ah Hock continuing to chat with him about the weather and how the recent spike of dry spell has been damaging to our plants.
Ah Hock has finished with my lawn and he was still waiting. I knew that he was waiting for me to pay him. In order to detain him I decided to tell him that I had no cash with me and I asked him to follow me to the nearest ATM for me to withdraw cash. And then I wanted to go to an ATM where next to it I could sit down and have a cup of tea with refill all day. I would sit in a public place until nightfall.
Once I paid Ah Hock he left me to go to another job. I sat in a twenty- four hour café and made sure that I kept the receipt, which I paid by credit card. I took a taxi home and I also kept the receipt. By this hour any diner would have ended, no matter how protracted it might be. I made sure that the taxi stopped right in front of number 11 my own house.
As I tried to open the gate I realized that this morning I had forgotten to lock it when I was distracted having left the house with Ah Hock. I had also forgotten to lock the front door. But no harm was done. Nothing was amiss. Every piece of furniture was in place. In any case I never left any cash at home.
I was a little thirsty so I went to the fridge to try and get some water. Ice water was always a better thirst quencher. Then I noticed a magnet stuck on the door; it has a picture of Emily. And beside it was written the words:
“A sum of twenty thousand dollars has been found missing in my drawer. Ah Hock is a witness to your house breaking by day this morning.”
“Mother Mary, I implore you, my life is in your hands, please answer my prayer. I have only one life and I want to put it in your hands. Please save his life.” Desmond could almost hear Molly.
There were usually a lot of people at the Holy Ground Church on Sunday. Most of them came together as a family whereas Desmond often went alone. This was because he believed in meeting with God alone. He prayed alone. When he was with people he couldn’t pray. Words just couldn’t flow out of his mouth fluently.
Although he had an altar at home where he prayed, he believed in going to Mass at least once a day. He didn’t have any specific requests yet. But this was an example set by his mother. She prayed fervently and she told Desmond that she was praying hard for him to find a wife. Desmond was not married yet although he was nearing forty.
This church sang the hymn that Desmond liked, it moved him, so he liked going back to Holy Ground Church although as Catholic you could attend Mass at any other venue. Methodist churches have less rituals but the Homily in Catholic churches were shorter, so that Desmond didn’t have to spend too much time away from work.
After the usual Mass, he decided to pop in at Mother Mary to talk to her privately. Wearing her white gown with the blue sash, she looked regal and tall. Desmond told her about himself, what he was doing, and what he didn’t want to do. She listened quietly without a word. She was a statue anyway so she couldn’t argue. A good listener.
Chapter 2
Desmond always approached Mother Mary whenever he found that he couldn’t confide in anyone else.
There were one or two interruptions. Molly came in and stood in between the statue and Desmond. She rubbed her hand on the pure white porcelain. He ignored her and continued to talk to Mother Mary. After a while he walked to the side and knelt. That was when she first noticed Desmond.
Desmond talked to Mother Mary for another five minutes. He saw Molly knelt there with her head bowed almost touching the ground. When he decided to walk away she was still there, but Desmond decided to leave to go back to the clinic. Sometimes he worked on Sunday.
Chapter 3
From church Desmond went straight to his clinic. Contrary to most doctors’ clinic, Desmond’s clinic was not clinical at all.
Three receptionists sit inside a desk sharing two computers and a printer. Karen was the one who usually attended to Desmond. And then there were Lucy and Catherine. All three have similar profiles, they were all married with children and about the same age between thirty and forty. Desmond has no favourite. Karen’s attendance was chosen amongst them. You could say that Desmond was not interested in women except for the babies in their stomach. Until he met Molly.
Further inside the reception is Desmond’s office. There was another small room next to it, apart from the fairly large waiting room. You could choose either green tea or Ceylon tea. Desmond forbids coffee as caffeine was harmful for the foetus. Karen was his private nurse. It was a successful sole proprietorship earning at least half a million dollars a year. They closed only during the Chinese New Year for two days, and even then, if a patient had to give birth during one of the days, Desmond had to come around to do the delivery.
Nobody can time birth. But so far, none of his patients have given birth when Desmond were at a New Year’s Eve reunion dinner with his parents.
Yes, he still lived with his parents. That was because he was not yet married. Desmond has had at least three girlfriends, but he found none of them suitable. After a while he got tired of them as he realized that all they wanted was a one-way ticket to permanent retirement. He knew that he was extremely eligible as he was a gynaecologist. His motto was that any woman within the child bearing age was his potential patient.
Many patients told Desmond that he had very good “bedside manners.” He didn’t know what that meant; it just came natural to him. Perhaps his patients liked him because he talked to them in plain ordinary English and not Singlish.
When you spoke to someone in Singlish you gave them the impression that you were condescending. Desmond could speak Chinese too, but it was not his mother tongue. Unless he was in a predominately Chinese environment Desmond didn’t open his mouth in Mandarin.
Desmond had decided to go on a holiday that year. He planned to visit the Lourdes in France. Lourdes is a quiet town three hours away from Paris by air and then by car it was another two and a half hours. Stuart had flown in from London and gave him a jug of water from The Lady of Lourdes to drink when Desmond had an accident and almost died.
Chapter 4
At the time when he was lying in the hospital a priest came to visit him and gave him some “Lourdes” water. This water has powerful curative ability. It tasted like any other water. It was actually water from the holy tap in the church compound at The Lady of Lourdes in France. Father Damien emphasized that it was not ordinary water.
Desmond Song believed in it and swore that he must find its source. He got the surgeon the head of the department in the hospital to attend to the scar on his face and then he got himself discharged within two weeks.
After he left hospital Desmond booked tickets online for one. He decided he had to pay a visit to the actual pilgrimage. He was single-minded and scheduled one flight out of Singapore directly to Paris and then from Paris to Pau Airport. He even managed to book the transfer from Pau to the hotel online. He wanted to make his confessions overseas at The Lady of Lourdes in case the priests in Singapore could not keep their mouths shut.
As a doctor Desmond knew that patients should never be discharged. Once he got one appointment he made sure that his staff followed up on calls. His target would be a safe delivery for both mother and child.
He has done caesarean, IVF, as well as other fertility treatments. Karen was always in the room when Desmond attended to his client. It was important that a third party should be around during consultation. He couldn’t install his CCTV as it was a maternity clinic and privacy was of the patients was of utmost concern. So that Karen became his alibi.
After he had managed everything he became very contented with himself and he relaxed a little. Often in the afternoon there were less patients. He took out his cell phone and started to talk to his friend Stuart in U.K. again. Desmond had known Stuart since he studied medicine nineteen years ago. At that time London was still showing “Mouse Trap”, and Desmond wondered if he could drop by Stuart’s place en route to France.
Desmond hadn’t seen Stuart for six years. The last time they met was in Singapore.
“Any chance of meeting soon?” Desmond typed.
No reply came. Stuart might be offline. He threw the cell phone aside and decided to go through his case notes. It was lunchtime, so the reception knew not to allow anybody in. He was always happy with himself as his accuracy for timing a delivery had been one hundred percent correct.
Chapter 5
Food was plentiful in Singapore, and every pregnant woman got to eat what she wanted, or rather, what the baby wanted. None of his patients were malnourished. He prescribed extra iron tablets for them and made them come at least once every four weeks. They paid for his services and he delivered their babies. It scared many pregnant women to think what will happen if his clinic closed.
Desmond went to his side table and poured a glass of water from the jug, then added a vitamin C tablet. He watched the tablet dissolve and then drank the liquid immediately. Vitamin C loses its efficacy if you did not drink it at once. It had been Desmond’s habit to take one after lunch each day. Desmond was a doctor, so he was good at looking after himself. Tomorrow I must go to the pharmacy and buy some magnesium tablets.
Magnesium tablets were good for soothing the nerves. Desmond have been finding it a little difficult to fall asleep these few nights recently. The tablets were supposed to relax and make him calmer. He didn’t know what he was worried about. Probably he had been a bachelor for too long, and being single without a companion could be quite taxing on the nerves.
It was true that sometimes late at night you really wanted to talk to someone about your problems. Friends were always on hand, but not if they were married.
Remaining single was his choice. So far Desmond had dated three women: the first left, the second, and so did the third. He found that there was no ideal wife. Desmond told himself that he must talk to Mother Mary again and surrender this problem to her. His parents had been asking him when he would be bringing the next girl home.
And so after work Desmond made a special trip to see Mother Mary again.
There were about thirty Catholic churches in Singapore, so there were at least thirty such Mother Mary statues in Singapore. But he particularly liked the statue of the one in the Holy Ground Church. This Mother Mary seemed to be smiling at him whenever he looked at her. Her face was fatter, and her eyes not so small. They were a little darker and larger, more lively and responsive. Her face also had more colour, and she gave him the impression that she could hear him. Maybe she could.
Chapter 6
Desmond saw Molly again.
But this time he could not hear her. She bowed her head low, and she had a headscarf. The headscarf was white lace, and she had another scarf around her neck. Her dress was white, but the scarf was multicoloured. Desmond was most attracted by her scarf. He thought about putting it around a snowman and taking a picture with him.
So he waited. He stood near her. As there were people around, he could not get close to her. After a while she knelled down for a long time. Desmond could see that she was completely oblivious to his presence and of the people around her. She was in a world of her own. He became a little jealous of her.
How could anyone be so completely in commune with God?
Desmond watched her in silence until after she had finished. Then he followed her out of the hall and out of the church. He had forgotten what he had come for. Once out of church, she turned a corner and he lost sight of her.
Frustrated, Desmond went in to church to find Mother Mary to pray again. This time he only managed to pray the Rosary. he had lost his words. Desmond did not know what he should pray for.
When he went home he turned on the television straight away. Hong Kong was having demonstrations and it was not the first time in recent history. Desmond had been there before in peaceful days, but now after this he doubted it would ever be the same again.
At dinner his parents were silent, and he knew what was on the tip of their tongues. Since he broke off with Bee Ling they wanted to know if he had found someone else. Desmond was not in a hurry to get married. He saw pregnant women every day and helped bring dozens of babies into the world each week.
Desmond was acutely aware that once married, romance would die off and all that came was responsibility. Love was only exciting in the beginning. He has had three courtships. He knew that women put on a mask when they saw him. For one, they already have makeup on when they went out with him. Especially with Bee Ling, he dreaded to see what that face looked like after a wash and cleanse.
Chapter 7
Today as he walked into the clinic Karen came after him, “I have somebody by the name of Elizabeth who cancelled her appointment five times, shall I turn her down the next time she calls?”
“Did she leave her phone number behind?” Desmond asked.
“No, she refused. That was why I am asking. She was most uncooperative.”
“My policy is to see every patient,” Desmond said.
He enjoyed his work, and in all his years of practice he has never had any problem with any pregnancies. Many women came to him and conceived after a few consultations. Desmond Song did planned parenthood, fertility treatment right down to delivery.
“Why don’t you put her through the next time she calls? I will talk to her myself.” he walked into his room and started work.
Most women who come to Desmond were happy about their state of affairs and were looking forward to the birth of their child. But he had also encountered a few who asked him to do abortions. It was an unpleasant job, but Desmond knew that he had to do it when the patient insisted on it.
“The father doesn’t want the child” was always the reason.
Desmond had managed to talk three of his patients out of it by asking to speak with the man. Abortion wasn’t difficult and was easier than labour as labour was only half time. He felt lousy whenever he had to perform such a task.
But so far he had done two such cases. That was why he had been going to Mother Mary every day recently. Since his baptism and confirmation as a Catholic a year ago, Desmond had listened to Homilies where the priests said abortion was a sin. It was prohibited in the Catholic faith.
He had already lost his concentration so that one of his patients haemorrhaged so much blood during the caesarean section that she needed several blood transfusions. But thank God both mother and child were fine after twelve hours of labour. He talked to Molly rather than Mother Mary more often.
Chapter 8
Finally, Desmond decided to go to Father Damien for confession. Although he did not perform the abortions when he was a Catholic, he felt that he had to come clean and plead God’s forgiveness. Some offences you could not plead ignorance, so that Desmond felt that he was guilty under the Catholic law.
Desmond waited at the church office for the church worker to tell him when Father Damien would be free. He wanted a long session with Father Damien, so he asked for his schedule. He needed to elaborate on his medical practice and why he did those abortions in the first place.
As far as legality was concerned, all the doctor needed do was to get the patient to sign a consent form. But in the eyes of the Catholics, human life began at conception. So that Desmond became a sinner at once when he performed the abortion.
But Desmond did not agree on this theory. He studied hard for his medical degree, and even if he did “murder,” it was done to a fetes, an unborn child. The “baby” before it was born was not yet a human being.
Abortions were illegal when they were done at twenty weeks.
One woman sat in line at the clinic for four hours to get to see Desmond, some even waited for three or four house outside his waiting room.
When Desmond did those abortions, they were done before the second trimester, which was before the pregnancy was into the twelfth week.
Now that Desmond was a Catholic, he felt that he shouldn’t do it anymore. For this he had to pray to the Almighty that he did not have any walk-in patients that looked for him to perform this kind of service.
Desmond almost forgot that he was supposed to ask Mother Mary to pray for him. He was a new Catholic, new to the rites of this faith. He often forgot to pray with the rosary. He put one by his bedside, one in the drawer in his office, and he had one in his car in the glove compartment.
Whenever Desmond prayed he just said whatever came to his mind, although Catholics were supposed to follow the Hail Mary and to finish the whole chain of rosary beads. He liked the beads, they shined, and he was often tempted to buy them when he browsed the bookstore located just outside the sanctuary, on the right as you came out.
Chapter 9
Especially with the latest fad following Trumpcare in America defunding Planned Parenthood, Desmond saw it as a clear signal that abortion was not welcomed.
At 7:30 p.m. Desmond rang the church bell at the foot of the hostel and waited for Father Damien to come down. He was surprised to find him in casual shirt and pants. Normally he saw him in his robes during the Mass ceremony. Father was casual, ready to take in any confessions. Desmond hoped he didn’t give Father a shock as he began with the words:
“Father, I am a sinner.”
Father Damien didn’t flinch at all. Then Desmond qualified himself by saying that he didn’t actually murder. Father listened and then told him to say four decades on the Rosary. And then Father began,
“We are not masters of our own destiny. It was only in retrospection selection that we know that we should have done something, or shouldn’t have done something.”
Desmond argued.
“Father, before a foetus was formed, it was not a human yet. I don’t subscribe to the theory that life begins at conception. For one, the baby could not live on its own outside the mother’s womb.”
Father Damien merely shook his head. Desmond sensed that he was not wanted anymore, so he made an act of contrition,
“You must be tired after a long day. I shall take my leave now.” “Come and see me if you still have any doubts,” Father said again.
Chapter 10
Something made Desmond look for Mother Mary again. He decided to pop by the statue and talk to her. Maybe to ask her to pray for him to know how to turn down requests for abortion in the future. He had been known to be a good doctor, for being caring, and the fact that he never turned away patients.
One good thing about having someone like Mother Mary to talk to was that she was always available for you. Even with his own mother Mrs. Brown, he had to wait for her to finish the dishes after dinner before she would attend to him.
And then he saw her at the statue again. She was alone. And wearing the same scarf. He walked up to her and he stood behind her. Desmond heard her.
“Mother Mary, please tell me what to do, oh God, forgive me if what I am doing is wrong, let him die if that is what you want,”
Desmond could gather by then that this woman had a lover who had left her, and that she wanted him dead. His sympathy was for her, and he wanted to tell her it was all right to wish somebody ill if that person had treated her badly.
Desmond stayed with her. He watched her anguish. When she stood up to leave he quickly walked out behind her. She walked fast, and he walked fast too. Thistime I mustn’t lose her.
Her scarf swung back and forth as she walked and he almost wanted to grab hold of that scarf to stop her from walking away. Finally, Desmond caught up with her – “Excuse me,” he said.
“Stay away from me!” she shouted back immediately, without turning back.
“Could I talk to you?” Desmond asked.
“What do you want from me?” came the immediate response.
“Nothing,” he said.
She stopped, and he saw her face for the first time. She was very fair. And her makeup was perfect. By that he meant that she did not look made up. Her long hair was curled at the right places. It was really nice except that she looked angry. Maybe she was angry at me for stalking her.
“Sorry,” Desmond began.
“You want to hear my story?” she looked at him, almost like a challenge.
Chapter 11
That was how they spoke for the first time.
“Wait for me here, let me get my car,” Desmond ordered her. He showed her his car keys. Then he made a calculated risk, walking away down the steps to the car park, hoping that she would be at the driveway when he swung around. Thank God nobody was blocking the exit so that he could drive up easily.
From far Desmond could see the scarf as it had become her signature. He stopped the car right in front of her to show her that he was the driver, and she opened the door to climb in.
“Where would you like to go?” he asked her once she got in as he had no idea at all. He wished to hear her story badly, although he never got a chance.
“Just drive along and I will tell you where to stop.”
Desmond released the brake and put his right leg on the accelerator and started driving slowly. At the end of the side road, just as they reached the main road, she told him to stop the car, and she opened the door and let herself out.
“Hope to see you again,” she smiled and slid off.
Chapter 12
Desmond Brown had to take a glass of wine to make himself fall asleep that evening. He couldn’t shake off the image of the woman with the scarf. He knew that this woman was in some sort of turmoil, her mood changing like that. She looked angry one moment, and the next she was smiling. He wanted to hear her story.
But when would I meet her again?
The next morning, he woke up late. Thank God it was a Sunday and also that there were no deliveries. Sunday was a day for worship, so automatically he went to the Holy Ground Church after he has had his coffee and toast.
He shouldn’t have been eating before Mass, but he told himself it was okay. Desmond arrived just before the priest marched in, and he didn’t see her. Throughout the service he was looking out for her. She was recognizable with that scarf of hers. He told himself that he must look more carefully and perhaps that she had changed out of the scarf.
The Homily wasn’t long enough to be boring. As usual, Desmond placed fifty dollars in the offering bag. He knew that to be a large sum, but he earned quite a lot of money. He was in some kind of midlife crisis. His conscience had woken up, and he realized that there were some things he shouldn’t do, like abortions.
But he had never said no to his patients. If something went wrong during pregnancy it would have to be his job and he always managed to save both mother and child.
Desmond had been seeking an answer those days, but the Bible was completely silent on that. He had already gone to Father Damien and spoken to him about it. Confessions were strictly confidential. He knew Father wouldn’t tell a soul. His clinic could never release the names of the patients whom he did abortions for.
Chapter 13
True enough, when Desmond went back to work on Monday, Karen went in to tell him that the lady by the name of Elizabeth who had cancelled her appointment five times now told her that she wanted to come in for an abortion straight away. Luckily Karen was diplomatic, and told her that Doctor Brown was on leave and weren’t due to be back until the following Monday.
He breathed a sigh of relief and went into his room, leaving the door open as he waited for his coffee. His room overlooked the entrance to the Brown Ginger Garden and he could see streams of people walking in and out of the large front gate. The basin is strategically installed below the window and just at the right height for Desmond. He used two soap gel. One is the conventional Dettol and the other a floral scent. Dettol which is primarily being used as a disinfectant gave Desmond a clinical smell. He used the gel with the floral scent to rinse off the hospital smell.
Desmond had this clinic set up in this building since he started operating as a gynaecologist for fourteen years now but he had never been to the garden grounds.
But he used the gym and did his exercises in the Slimming Floor, and he confined himself to just there. It was located in the same building. He liked it because he need not drive out of and also that he could have his shower immediately after exercising. Doctors usually have very clean habits.
He was alarmed by this “Elizabeth” case. If it had been before, he would have offered her his professional services. But this time around since he had decided against abortion, he told myself he was going to confront it. I would have to tell her myself that I was not doing it anymore.
Quietly, Desmond rehearsed the things he would tell her, and how he was going to put it to her. He had not seen this “Elizabeth”, and he had no idea how she looked. In any case, she couldn’t be very old. Was this her first child? Desmond wondered.
Chapter 14
After work he went straight to church again. Now that he had been to see Father Damien once, he knew that he could drop by the hostel and ring the bell downstairs to look for him. Desmond took the risked that he may not be in when he arrived unexpectedly. He was hopeful. As he sat in the waiting area downstairs, he prepared his speech.
Desmond wanted Father to understand him and to tell him what to do. He was contemplating shutting down his medical practice and going overseas for a permanent retirement, although his trip to The Lady of Lourdes hasn’t come up yet. Then he saw something on one of the chairs – a scarf. The colourful scarf! It was the same scarf!! No one wore a scarf like that but she. It must belong to Molly.
Desmond’s heart almost leaped with joy as he picked up the scarf. Its’ owner would be so happy to see it returned. So she went to Father Damien for confessions too!
Desmond Brown was not going to give it to the lost and found. He knew to whom the scarf belonged. And he thought he knew where she was. Maybe she was with Mother Mary again. Immediately he walked out of the waiting lounge and headed straight towards the statue. She must have been there.
Yes, she was. Desmond saw Molly again.
Chapter 15
“Mother Mary, please tell me what to do. I want him. I don’t wish him dead. Please, let me have him… I know that I can wait…” Don’t tell me she was waiting for her lover to change heart?! This time there was no one else around her, and she was loud enough for Desmond to hear. He walked up and instinctively he put his arm around her on her shoulder. She shrugged a little. He knew that she was feeling the chill.
The scarf was in his trouser pocket, and he was not about to show it to her. He just wanted to hold her there and comfort her. Desmond could see that this woman was distraught. Ever since the first day he saw her, she seemed to be in pain.
Desmond has seen women screaming at the top of their voices, shouting, cursing and swearing, especially during labour, but he never saw them sad. The thing that struck him about Molly was that she was sad. She was not depressed. That meant that something bad was happening to her.
Desmond saw that he was alone with her, and that there were no one else in the vicinity. He took another bold step forward and put his other hand over her and turned her around. She did not resist. He could see traces of makeup smudged by tears on her face. Desmond used his thumb to wipe off the tears. She looked at him. And for the first time, he thought she noticed him. In the past she was talking to him, but that she was just speaking to someone else, and without directing her words properly at the other person whom she was talking to.
There was a frown on Molly’s face, and she looked a little puzzled. Desmond almost wanted to kiss her, but he wasn’t sure if she was ready for this yet. It was clear that she was in love with someone. Desmond just wanted to shake this sobbing woman out of her misery.
Chapter 16
After two confessions at Mother Mary Desmond learnt to resign himself to fate. He was almost afraid to go to the clinic now for fear that someone might call in to ask him to perform an abortion.
The practice which he was once so proud of, now he saw it as a platform for sinful activity. He wanted to share his agony with someone. And so he stood there with Molly and he hugged her, trying to console her, yet actually consoling himself.
For a long time, they just stood there, staring at each other until they heard some footsteps up the towards the statue. Then they broke away. Desmond remembered that her scarf was still with him.
“Your scarf is in my car,” he said.
“Oh, okay, let me have it back then, I thought I had lost it.”
Now there seemed nothing else for them to do except to walk to the car park together, and actually he was afraid that she might walk away and disappear again. Suddenly he felt her hold his hand, and she said,
“Can you marry me?”
Surprised, Desmond thought that he was dreaming. He looked at her and he said, almost immediately,
“Of course, since you asked me.”
He didn’t want to tell her that he was in love with her yet, although at that time he already knew. From there they held hands, and he drove her straight to Takashimaya, where Tiffany’s was. Desmond brought her to the section where the rings were displayed, and he made her choose the most expensive diamond ring.
He almost rang Karen at her home to tell her that he would be taking off for his honeymoon from tomorrow onwards. But then he remembered his strings of appointments booked since January.
Desmond sent Molly home. He saw her to the door and said goodnight to her as he prepared himself for his new image as a married man.
Chapter 17
Desmond finally got an appointment with Elizabeth. On her own initiative Karen subscribed for caller ID for Desmond’s clinic so that when Elizabeth rang again, she got hold of Elizabeth’s telephone number and called her back. Karen rang Elizabeth three times to fix for the appointment and also reminded her to come in. Desmond only got to know that she was waiting outside when Karen sent in the patient record card with the name “Elizabeth” on it. No surname, no age recorded, and no address either. Karen put it on his desk whilst he was attending to another patient when Elizabeth arrived.
Desmond kept his cool as he tried to recall his prepared speech.
He knew that he would be facing opposition. He almost rushed through the earlier patient. He imagined Elizabeth to be a quick tempered, vivacious lady, who would storm out on him if he refused her request.
She may even threaten to harm my business. Desmond was not sure. He wondered if he should ask Karen to stand in as he spoke to her. But then he realized that the conversation had to be in confidence. So he waited anxiously as his next patient pushed open the door.
Chapter 18
Desmond saw her. The same face, the same curly long hair, and the large eyes. He paused, then he took a deep breath, and he wanted to open his mouth. He was lost for words. For a long time, they both stood staring at each other. From the expression on Molly’s face, Desmond knew that she didn’t expect to see him. Well, neither did he expect her. “So, you are pregnant?” slowly he began, trying not to show his true feelings.
“Yes,” she replied almost in a whisper.
“Nope, I am not going to do this,” immediately Desmond retorted, without giving Molly a chance to elaborate.
He saw the look of disappointment come on her face, and she gave him a look of reproach, almost angry. Molly didn’t say another word. Then she walked out of the consultation room, back into her own world, as when before she came in. Desmond walked over his desk and went after Molly. He saw the faces of Karen and the other patients that he has not yet attended to, he ignored them and rushed out of the clinic. Molly was so fast that he lost her at the lift lobby.
Chapter 19
Desmond tried to call her. He rang her mobile, but there was no answer. She had left me she would not marry me now. Desmond started telling himself. Then as he thought about it, he came to his own conclusions:
If she did not tell me she was pregnant, that meant that she wanted to get rid of her baby and marry me, which is what was happening now. She should have told me about it. So she was dishonest. Desmond tried to reason himself.
But then if I were she, under the circumstances I wouldn’t mention it either. She was clever to make me marry her to begin a new life. But then I loved her too. I was the one who solicited her. I was the one who started it first. If I had not laid hands on her that evening, we wouldn’t have hitched up.
Was it my fault? I couldn’t say that she was not attractive. Would I have accepted her proposal if I had known that she was pregnant? I was overjoyed when she wanted to marry me. I bought her the most expensive diamond ring at Tiffany’s, I booked us a twenty-one nights’ tour to Europe. I was planning on buying an apartment, as I did not want to continue to live with my parents after marriage. And even if she did not propose to me, I would have proposed to her under ordinary circumstances. I knew I was besotted with her. I still have her scarf and I plan to keep it forever.
Now the situation was complicated. If we married I would have to be the father of her unborn child. Come to think of it, who was the father? She didn’t tell me, and I didn’t think that she would even if I had asked. But I couldn’t be raising a child fathered by someone I didn’t know. At least I needed to know the background.
But anyway, I loved her and I was prepared to marry her. For one, I already knew that her lover didn’t want her anymore when I met her, and I didn’t mind it at all. This was a woman who had it hard, and I felt for her.
Chapter 20
Desmond recalled the image of Molly standing at Mother Mary, her thin shoulders shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably. There and then he swore that he wanted to give her a good life.
If she had wanted to call Desmond back, she would have done so by then. She must have seen Desmond’s missed call. Desmond rang again and again, but she did not pick up his calls anymore. Then Desmond decided that he would give her another half hour. Maybe she was busy with something else. NO! GOD! It occurred to Desmond that she might have gone to see another gynaecologist, since he did not want to perform the abortion on her.
Desmond Brown wanted so much to tell her that he still loved her, that he would take over the baby no matter whose child it was. Now that she knew that he knew about it, Molly must have been heartbroken thinking that he didn’t want her anymore. He didn’t want to help her to abort, but he wanted her. Abortion was against Desmond’s principles, and that was why he refused Molly’s request.
But if she wanted it, would Desmond do it? Desmond was not the only gynaecologist in town, and if she wanted an abortion she could always go to another doctor. Perhaps she would just do it, then afterwards go to Father Damien for confession. Desmond wondered what would be the penance.
He knew that many Catholics continue to sin day after day. They were sinners. They were just human beings, and they couldn’t help themselves.
Oh, God, where had she gone to? Why couldn’t she return my call?
Desmond swore that when he met her the next time he would tell her that he was prepared to do the abortion on her. They were supposed to start their lives afresh as a new couple and leave the past behind them.
She was the mother. She should have the right to decide on the fate of her unborn baby. After all, you only needed the mother’s signature on the consent form.
Chapter 21
Molly lay on a single bed. The room was large but she was the only one inside. Nobody was there because she told no one about what she was doing. There was a clock hanging right on front of her on the wall. She could still see the time even without glasses.
When the nurse came in to give her an injection, she asked,
“Is the doctor coming?”
“No, you take this first and if it is too painful, press the bell.”
Molly said nothing.
And then the pain came. Like a bad stomach ache, it felt like labour but Molly knew that it was too soon for that. The foetus was not yet three months old.
Finally, after a three hour wait, the nurse came in again.
“Push,” she said.
Molly pushed hard together with the nurse, and after some struggle, the two of them managed to get the foetus out. The nurse put the piece of flesh on a receptacle by the side of the bed and she walked away without saying a word.
Then after another long wait, the doctor came in looking disgusted. Molly didn’t know why he was so late in attending to her.
“Am I not paying him for this?” she asked herself.
Finally, the doctor spoke to her and told her that he would write her a note on this procedure. Molly heaved a sigh of relief and glad that it was all over.
Chapter 22
As Desmond was thinking and walking around the streets aimlessly, he realized that he had lost his cell phone. Perhaps he had left it in Gucci, or Fendi, or Tiffany’s. Desmond drifted in to Tiffany’s to see if he could find something, not knowing what he wanted.
God! So now even if Molly returned his call she would not be able to get him on the phone. He remembered ringing her while he was at Gucci, then he rang her again from Fundi. Yes, it must be at Tiffany’s. Desmond quickly went back to the boutique and asked the doorman to look for his cell phone for him.
There were a lot of shoppers around, and when he went back with an empty look after having spoken to some of the salesgirls at the counter, he knew that it was gone. It was an iPhone 6, no one in their right mind would return it.
He left Tiffany’s in a daze, all the time wondering how to retrieve the lost connection. He had not brought Molly to his parents’ place yet, as he had wanted to marry in Europe first with the blessing of the priest in The Lady of Lourdes, so there was no way she could contact him through his parents.
Chapter 23
There was no reason to. Desmond looked at his watch and realized that it was almost 9:30 p.m.
Tomorrow when I wake up in the morning, I would go straight to my service provider and get a new phone with the same SIM in order to have my line reinstated so that she could call me.
Desmond couldn’t sleep the whole night. He waited for time to pass. Every minute was like an hour. He tried to turn off the air conditioning to deprive himself of air so that he could fall asleep. And then he was wondering why the hands on the clock on the wall did not move. Eventually he came to the conclusion that the clock had stopped and that he didn’t even realize it. He was always using the iPhone to tell time. And when Desmond knew that he could not fall asleep anymore, he went out to the balcony to sit down.
He did not turn on the lights, as he did not want to wake up his parents. As he sat in the dark waiting for dawn, he realized that he had sinned against God. God read our minds. In his heart he was ready to sin. He was prepared to forget about the Law just for the sake of love. Was he so weak? So easily manipulated by a woman? He chuckled at himself and then drank coffee till sunrise.
Dawn came. So the next day. And then another day went by. But Desmond never received that phone call he wanted.
Yes, Molly did call back. When he reinstalled his SIM, there were two calls from her. She did make the return call. But he did not answer them. He didn’t know who held his phone during that short interval. He used his new cell phone to call Molly again, but this time he heard the voice messaging saying that the number he was trying to call was no longer available. Like a lost soul, he could not think anymore. he simply went straight to Mother Mary at the Holy Ground Church again.
But Desmond couldn’t find Molly there. He knew that she wouldn’t go there anymore. He knew that he had lost her trust. He had betrayed her by not rescuing her from her predicament. All she wanted was to begin a new life with him. And that he had turned her down. Desmond had rung her, and she had returned his call, but once more Desmond had let Molly down. For the first time in his life he felt useless.
Yet he needed to carry out his professional duty. He was beginning to view delivery as a chore. When Desmond was delivering his second patient for the day, he found the woman’s labour to be too long and was unduly impatient. The music he chose for her delivery he almost wanted to fast forward. When the baby finally came out he was relieved that both mother and child were fine and apart from “Congratulations,” he had nothing more to say.
We were not our own masters. Very often we have no control over our fate. Desmond had lost this woman that he loved, perhaps irretrievably. He wanted to curse God, but he ended up cursing himself. The statue of Mother Mary used to be his refuge, but now he no longer knew what to say to Mother Mary. He thought that she could still hear him, so he simply said,
“Mother, please find her for me.”
The colourful scarf was not in his car anymore. Nowadays he wore it over his shoulder. Some people asked him if it was the latest fashion, but he wore it so that he could be spotted from a distance, in case she happened to be around. His alibi Karen has resigned, so has the others. Apart from that, Desmond opened his clinic twenty-four hours now and sleep inside his consultation room.
Desmond Brown has once asked a beautiful woman to marry him. They were actually engaged. She told his clinic that her name was Elizabeth. Desmond never met with Father Damien again for he knew that the man’s prayer could not have been as besieging as his. If God would listen to Father Damien, why won’t He listen to Desmond Brown? One day, Elizabeth might appear at his door again, with or without her child.
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