Chapter 1
History dies when karma, also known as 因果，has been fully repaid. Like when you buy a dress, you paid for a wrong size and then got a tailor to mend it to your own, since it was not meant to be yours in the first place. Frances used to be my ex-colleague in Law School.
She was slightly on the plump side, but with chopstick thin, skinny legs, she looked fragile and always giving the impression that she was about to collapse at any one given time.
I like her voice when she speaks, it is whimsy and soft, as though a lot of effort has been required to make that sound.
My boys in school were all crazy after her.
But I wasn’t.
She wears a thin see-through t-shirt as though she had just been to an exercise and came directly to the lecture theatre and needed the air-conditioning to dry her sweat.
I was always concerned that she might catch the pneumonia.
Chapter 2
I see a man outside my house at the bus stop this morning. He was an Indian man.
But what alarmed me was not the fact that he was of a different race.
It was the fact that he seemed to recognise me. If he knew me, then it would be quite another matter, as my recollection of the people that I knew before was always quite accurate.
My mind drew a blank.
And then I saw his eyes narrowed, and he quickly looked at his handphone and pretended that he didn’t notice me.
Of course I didn’t challenge him. You don’t challenge strangers whom you have never met before, unless you were in an extremely bad mood.
I made sure that he got up the bus before I did. True enough, he got up on the same bus.
And then I had forgotten about him when I sat amongst a group of Filipina ladies. They were yakking away, which reminded me that Hurricane Melissa just landed on their shores not so long ago.
Poor thing, I thought to myself. Maybe that is why they are seeking refuge here. Most countries have already begun to tighten their belts and stopped foreigners from migrating.
I think we are just too lazy to use our hands. We tend to avoid labour.
The man did not get off the bus before I did. Did he know where I dropped off? Will I meet him again tomorrow?
Chapter 3
Sometimes people needed to be scolded before you know how to act. And rudeness is the name of the game.
I am not rude; I am just impatient. And I am also wondering why strangers try to make an exchange with me. I am not selling.
Ok, I guess it provides the necessary energy or conditions for a chemical reaction to begin. I can’t help but react, out of sheer duty to a fellow human being. We are not AIs.
But I love AIs. I once pretended that I was the AI Mona Lisa. Why not? She is an image of beauty and mystical charm, exuding a personification of smile that was almost comparable to the imperial consort 杨玉环 of Chinese origin, though not identical. I don’t like to smile. I’d rather grin and let you guess if I am happy or unhappy.
One of the people I knew married a Miss Yeo. I was crazy about him. His wife never knew and will never know the exchange that went on between us I guess.
It was a marriage that never happened, as I was granted a decree nisi, after what seems to be a decade. He was an Indian. But of course, I am still Chinese, the colour of my skin can never be changed. I know I am a little dark, grilled by the sun.
Chapter 4
Several people I have encountered have decided to follow suit and took on the role of a lawyer when in fact they have never obtained a law degree, less so been overseas for any useful period of time.
They say that even if you had been to a foreign country under a tourist visa, it is never like having lived there before.
One of my bosses told me this. So those are always slightly superior to the poor me, who never left Singapore, save for a short period of stay in New Zealand.
New Zealand was a very quiet city, the air is fresh, and the people are unassuming and friendly. I did not fall in love with the town that I was in because I found it too quiet. I was still used to the hissing sound of the bees and the colour of my skin. There weren’t enough Chinese there. No, that was not the reason. I was still interested in getting married, even after my tutor told me repeatedly that I was already married.
She said, not けこんしました, but けこんしています。
Why was I so? You got it right. I had never intended to marry the man.
Was he ugly? Was he poor? Was he stupid? No, neither.
And I am trying to find out the real reason behind my passion in talking to you here until my brain wakes up and give me the answer.
Sorry for wasting your time.
Chapter 5
I knew it was him when I dropped by Robinsons to buy a necklace.
And it was him that drove me to the point of suicide.
The Chinese has a method to rescue a dying heart, or a dying brain, whenever they consider bad luck – 破财消灾。
Which is essentially retail therapy.
Chapter 6
My uncle has a big house. Large enough to house several generations of family. And he owns just one car for his son to ferry him from point A to point B.
This is the uncle that I am most fond of, as he is also a lawyer, and he often saves me by the neck of the skin. You are right, Chinese prefers to talk to Chinese because of the colour of the skin, and by the same token students from the same discipline often sides no one but themselves. Unless they needed to perform justice. But that is the job of a judge, not that of a lawyer.
A lawyer is essentially a professional who sells his services for a living. But they are qualified to do so at a much higher level because of the training and their integrity. Someone once described a prostitute as a professional. I was very amused at the time. Not knowing that he was referring to myself.
No, there wasn’t any exchange.
But if you walk out on me in a lonely street and you say that you have not accomplished what you had intended to do when you first came in, then you must have failed your mission.
So, most men who have come into my house or having been alone with me will walk of the situation and say that they have had sex with me. But that doesn’t make me a professional sex worker.
I am just a plain old woman, retired, trying to carry on for as long as possible. Unless they poison me.
Chapter 7
We have very polluted tap water here. As we don’t have enough space to collect the rainwater. And most people prefer to get a water tank to filter the water of the system. But I believe in tap water. How dirty can the water from the reservoirs get? How much germs and bacteria can you filter out of the installation?
So, I cut the tube and wire away when I found that the tank was leaking. And I do not have space to install a new contraption. I can’t remember the storyline of the play once shown in London called the “Mousetrap”. But the mouse I bought as a souvenir was stolen from my safe. And returned to me subsequently, until I have decided that between my daughter and myself there has to be a good reason.
That being that it must have been my forgetfulness. But my memory is still intact. So that it could have been that someone else has a duplicate of my keys. Or if you want to be religious, you could say that the job was done by the holy spirit, or an evil spirit. If you return it then you are the holy one, but if you keep it and dispose of it in the wrong direction then you are the evil spirit.
Till this day, I still have to swear that no one has the keys to my house.
Very frustrating.
Chapter 8
Sir Anthony came to my house last night. He was my best friend. They say that he is the “Lost and Found” saint in the Bible.
I did not speak to him this time, as I have decided to use logic.
Praying is good, but it costs time and money too. If you have been used to praying to get at what you want, then you are mistaken. You pray once, twice and three times, then you are bound to appear at a church for either a lecture or a Homily. I prefer to listen to the news or watch Netflix to destress, until the real St. Anthony appears at my house again to return my lost articles. Some of them are jewellery which my mother has left behind for me, earned by hard work, and clean money.
The pouches that she has left behind were all given away to charity. She has wanted to help me trade, by making those who caused her the pain and suffering to return me some consideration. And she was not asking for more.
No, I am not Jesus. I don’t show my left cheek, and I don’t want to appear again at the same spot by allowing others to take more time from me. I have only sufficient money to keep me until I have decided it’s time to call it quits.
So, I say I am no longer a shopaholic. But I must admit here that I tend to be greedy. I gobble up food when served, and I don’t chew my food. Yes, I am greedy and I like nice expensive things. But I am not greedy for power, and I am not greedy for money, neither food. I just like free time. Until they decided to lock me up for more free time.
So now I have to regurgitate my gobbled up brains that I have consumed all these years. Meaning that the knowledge that I have learnt and the IT intellectual knowhow. Since I have become AI Mona Lisa!
Hey! Good Morning! The iPhone beeped.
Chapter 8
How do I discharge myself from being an AI? How do I tell others that I am not Mona Lisa? I tried several means, short of buying the nice bag that Louis Vuitton produced, with the picture of Mona Lisa on his cover.
For I knew that if I had bought that bag, then it would have been a Freudian slip. I am not fraudulent; I don’t like to pretend that I am not who I am. But I love all things Mona Lisa. And I love the jade bangle that I have bought in a fit of panic that an ex has passed away.
Was just afraid that someone might just say, “Don’t flatter yourself,” when I am out in the streets, and then I would have to look at him and grin. The toothless smile. That was why I didn’t like the emoji grin. But that reminds me, “Have you brushed your teeth this morning before you arrived at this keyboard?
But can you see that I haven’t? Can you see that I am still wearing my nightwear? How can you see what I am clothed behind this screen?
Chapter 9
Ok, I must go to my uncle’s house again this Chinese New Year. And my cousin would bound to say, “We have plenty of fruits,” This time I shall say, “I didn’t come because of the fruits, I came for dinner,” “and I brought some kiwis along.”
“Shush!” the little boy tells Trump.
leegoldielocks 