天堂不过是人间

本来是应该多一张椅子的

第 1 章

今天又没有看到他,我决定出门到矿场走一圈。

一想到他我就一把火,出走的时侯一声不响,连后话都没有一个交待。我开始还以为他会回来睡晚觉,谁知道早上醒来的时侯还是看不到他,真是可恶。

现在已经四天了,田镇还不见人影,我假装漠不关心,其实心里很急躁。到底,我俩结婚已经12年了,一向来相安无事。

我把心情收拾好,决定暂时别去理会他。

第 2 章

有一个人爱你是很舒服的,有一个可以爱的人更幸福。一向来这个角色是由老公扮演的,可他现在失踪了,只好用老闆当任。老闆也不在意,每日傍晚·下班的时候,就跟我说一声”晚安”,我也照样回应一个”晚安”。

庄老闆是这医疗所的主治医生,凡是大小,都需要请他过问,有时候,我看他忙的连吃饭时间也没有,很想买饭给他吃,但听同事说他家里有老婆,所以我不好意思去勾引他,虽然和已婚的男人谈恋爱,是比较有挑战性的。

但我也没那么缺德。

所以,我和庄老闆的关系,只限于公事,点到为止。

老实说,庄老闆是蛮好看的,他脸型方正,头发整齐,没留鬍子,只是他完全对我是公事,我也懒的和他多交流。在职场上,和老闆越多话,工作就越多,工作越多,就必须加班,我们这里是没给加班费的。

如果没事作的话,我通常是看书的,“书中自有黄金屋”。但看书也得要靠情绪,如果环境太吵或有人在盯住你的话,这就很难专心。

老闆从没反对过我看书。

第 3 章

过了一个多月,冷静下来之后,才发现,遇到一个王八蛋,并不表示所有的人都是王八蛋。有些是王六蛋,王七蛋,等等。真的,坏人有好多种,有的喜欢钓鱼诈骗,有的喜欢偷东西,有的喜欢胡说八道,也有的喜欢嚇人。

我表哥张永健就是这样的一个例子。小的时候,他总是吓唬我,但那时候我认为他不是有恶意的,所以不把他当一回事,可日子久了,我开始担忧。

直到有一天,我生日的时候,他竟然送一盒手巾给我,手巾有两个用途,一是用来擦汗,二是抹眼泪,他送这样的礼物给我,到底是什么意思?于是,我当场与他绝交。

我是家里的长女,下有一个弟弟和一个妹妹。

有人说,人的命运,是在母胎还没出世的时候,就已经决定的。有时候是只差一个出生顺序,就已经安排了是做老大,老二,还是老三。

但我从来就不相信命运这回事。妈常教我用自己的意志力做人。

有时,即使是做了老大,命却不比老二好。出生顺序虽然重要,但后天的培养及贵人的栽培更为重要。

对,我还在等待那贵人的出现。他到底跑到哪儿去了?

第 4 章

今天在路上不知道为什么车总是那么的多,明明是星期日,难道通通都躲到教堂去了?

应该是里面的冷气比教冷吧!决定也到里面避一避。

在网上寻到了地址,是老祖宗基督教堂,在四川河北桥路 3号芙蓉街,搭 412号走 15 分钟的时间就可以了。

在公交车上,我感到非常的不耐烦,车上的人又大大声的说话,还有俩个女的,在车上骂我是傻的,只因为我的包包不小心碰到了她的手臂,我又不是故意的。

她们不可能知道我是去上教堂的嘛?!

车慢慢的向前驶着,下车之后弯右,左转,就可以看到建筑屋的。

我站得笔直,裹着宽大披肩,已经感到神的呼唤。

人生有重启键,在关键节点做出正确的选择。

第 5 章

田镇在的时候,通常都是他煮饭的,现在只煮给我自己一个人吃,很不划算。而且,煮过的没吃的剩饭,也不能收放在冰箱太久,会坏。所以我每天都是在外面打包回家的。

可今天情况有点不同,打包的时候,叔叔问我,“你要不要汤?”

“我不要,” 我应他。

但他不踩我,还继续做给其他的顾客,我站在那儿,好像木头人式的,看着他把食物送到别人的盘里,开始有点生气了。

只是在外面,不便开口骂人。

他们说人生是一张单程机票,只有一次,没有重来,可我不相信。尤其是我们信佛教的,相信转世投台,生命是有前缘今生来世的。

所以我决定明天再出现在那卖牛腩麵的攤位,看看那老头子有没有再为难我,其实我是第一次吃这道菜的。

想到田镇时,我有点胃痛。但没关系,家里有胃痛药,喝一杯白开水就可以了。

第6章

他们说,如果你还念念不忘一个人,那表示你还住在那个人的心上。可已经过了3个多月,田镇还没有一个电话过来,他房间里的东西我还没丢掉,也不知道应该怎么处理。明明是他的东西,我也不能做主把他丢掉,只好搁着。但现在他人不在,我也不是他。他的衣服开始看的不顺眼了,拉开衣柜的时候好像有一股怪味,只好通通把他的东西塞进行里箱,再把箱子拉到房间一边,加上一个锁匙把他扣住,锁匙密码我用最基本的,用我们俩的结婚纪念日10月7号2014年, 即071014。

我知道,一个男人如果变了心,是很难挽回的,我也曾经变心过,在很久以前。那时候男友是我的高中同学。

说到这里,不防告诉你,他昨晚来电,说要紧急约我吃饭,我本来已经忘了他的存在,还有那毕业的时候,我也不知为舍的没有参加毕业典礼,也没有留下他的点话号码。

我选了一件军绿色初绒毛衣,配上酒红色打地裤和白色上衣,慢慢的打车从家里出去,车夫也不跟我多说,让开着的·音乐给我慢慢欣赏,我只能慢慢的把心情收拾好,再把往事从记忆里挖出来,一件一件的呈上去给脑海处里。

下车走进去肥猪饭店🐷的时候是奋怒的。

一见到周进康的开场白,“你这几年来到底死到那里去?”

进康本来是笑嘻嘻的,一听到我这么说,马上秒变脸,比翻书还要快,“我一直都是在你身边啊!”

“那你为舍不打个电话来给我?” 我问。

“当年我以为你不要我了嘛!” 他说。

“你都没有向我求婚!“ 我骂。

“现在还来的及吗?“ 他大胆。

我没跟他胡扯,马上问,“今晚你到我家吃饭。” 然后我立即叫侍应生点菜,再塞50 元进他的手里,表示我会买单。

饭来了,是两碗牛腩麵,我俩吃的津津有味。

我没点茶,言谈中有声胜无声。

回到医疗所,当然是没心情作工啦。

庄老闆也没闲情管我们,反正钱赚够多就行。原来医疗院也是要看收入的。

第 7章

今早,庄老闆吩咐,“每人都要收到至少250元才能放他们走。“

“赫!“ 我心里想着,”那如果他们买少过 250 元呢?“我傻傻的看住老板。

难道绑住他们?

“是。你,水岭,一有病人进来,你立马迎上去,问他需要不需要喝点水什么的,“

然后,”方文,你马上去锁门,“

他这么说,我当场愣住了!

原来庄老板是生意人,不是行医的。

太令人失望了!

在工作原位上呆了整整六个小时,才离开医疗所,感觉上我也好像被庄老板锁住。

我又想到那卖牛腩麵的老伯伯了。今天我决定喝汤。

第 8 章

今天真的是倒霉透了,在外面超市买了东西等车的时候看到警察车,又是几辆的排在一起。到底是什么嫌犯呢?为啥要动用这么多人手?而且还要劳烦警察跑到百货中心来抓贼,搞不好,会扰乱民意,弄到人心惶惶。

我敢紧把包包和货拿在手,定了定神,叫车上来载我,车夫到的时候,也挺怕式的,不敢到我站的位置来让我上车,反而要我走到他面前。上了车,车夫开了好听的音乐让我欣赏,还跟我聊了几句,我才消气。怎么他们不能让我从外面回家了之后才来干事?

哦,对,我忘了,我只是一个小人物,他们跟本不知道我的存在。

还好,回到家的时候只是毛毛雨。我用雨伞遮了遮,开始感到秋天的凉气。

第 9章

姓陈的今天又找上门来,跟我要东西,这回他是用二房来抢。

她站在门外,我的开场白:“我跟他已经离婚几百年了,” 

“有没有2千年?” 她还蛮风趣的问。

“哦,大概2千25年,详细日子我没算清楚。”

“那我可以和他结婚吗?“ 姓刘的大胆的问。

“你不是已经跟他同居了吗?还有这个必要吗?” 多余的。

“我们俩是真心相爱的,“ 她想刺激我。

“你要东西的话,下次带行里箱来,” 我省的跟她多话。

“行!” 讨厌的刘美人马上回应。

我也不浪费时间,立即走到门口把门打开,让她自己出去,反正她已经懂得隐形进来了嘛。

去到阳台晾衣服的时候才看到陈某的车,就停在楼下。我把已经收拾好的他的行里拖到隔壁张家良的门口,按了几声门铃,刚好人在家,他也蛮合作的,马上义务帮我照顾垃圾。还顺便问我要锁头密码。

“可以给吗?” 张家良问。

“71014” 我连一个 “可以“ 都懒得说。

张家良识趣,“小姐,你好年青啊,几岁?“

“老娘不跟你胡扯 。。。嘻嘻嘻” 若景答他。

“门是倘开的,你要你自己出去“,张先生说。

我没出声。

第 10章

“哈喽,可以上来拿行李了吗?” 陈某真的找上门来了。

这次是他亲自登门造访。我乐了,以为可以再骂他多两句,准备了台词,做在沙发上等着对手登场。谁知道他还是带来了刘美人,太令人失望了。

“你老公呢?” 若景问。

“Aiyah, 他不是我老公啊,你怎能这么说呢?“ 刘艳梅回她。

“那你跟他睡了这么久,难到他没碰过你?这太荒谬了!“ 老婆开始发脾气了。

这时,俩人都站在一起,田镇只好开口,“你俩都是我老婆。“

赫,他想一脚踏两条船???

若景和刘美人面对面,马上 手牵手的一起离开现场,溜到屋外面,然侯霹雳啪啦的大大声走下楼梯,连电梯也不敢搭。

她俩是同姓恋啊???  田镇笑的合不拢嘴。

第 11章

每个人内心深处都有一个最爱的人,但我还不知道谁最爱我,我也不知道我最爱谁。今日我知道那不是我娘,也不是我爹,那到底他是谁呢?他日再寻吧!

总于领悟了,原来他就是隔壁家从贵州来的贵人。

心情烦躁的时候,总是想买东西的,他们说这是叫做 retail therapy。其实这是在跟自己的钱包发脾气,和自己过意不去。

还有为啥这刘小姐整天跑到我家门外,不敢进来就到我家外面照相,一定要我开口才甘愿,老公家里没给她装镜子吗?

没发子,这狐狸精一定要穿白色的给我看,我也不知道她是什么意思,我问她,“有没有照到我?“ 她答,”如果看到你在后面,我就不会按了,“ 

那好的,我只得送她两句,“美,今天美,” 她才甘愿。

真倒霉,明明是离了婚的,他又把老公呈上来,说是我的,我猜一定是陈某生病了,她不肯照顾他,还是没钱?她不是说自己是职业女性,很会赚钱的吗?我就知道当初那王八蛋是因为我不会出门赚钱才出走的,但那时侯我明明是在谢和平医院工作的,是有钱带回家来的嘛!

第 12  章

下楼散歩的时候,遇到了一楼的邻居,她匆匆忙忙的,我也不便问她到哪儿,反而是她不打自招,说她是去上教堂拜耶稣。我给她扫了一个毒眼,因我知道那晚是因为我和田镇吵架他发脾气又出走的情况是她所造成的。她即便不是刘美人,也可以说是情敌,反正他们这班崇拜西方文话的,都一样。

我也不便多说,只能敬鬼神而远之。

我莫明其妙的又跑到老祖宗基督教堂听教了。

不过今生,我知道我和田镇的关系,已经走到人走茶凉,默契散场。

今天教堂好热,听完教,我昏昏迷迷的走出去,从在四川河北桥路3号芙蓉街出来的时候,天色已暗淡,忽然脑海里发出了一个紧急讯号:

向晚意不适,驱车登古原,夕阳无限好,只是近黄昏。

“你要跟我离婚?这婚都还没结,怎么离?” 我喃喃自语,慢慢的走出大路,就差没搭错412 号公交车。

回家睡了整晚,早上出门的时候,看到一个男的比我走在前面从背后看来,好像是楼下的王老五。

王老五穿着时髦,大概只有 40 来岁,走路的步伐不算快,但很轻云,给人的感觉是没有烦恼,我开始对他感兴趣了。现在就看他家里有没有老婆。如果没有的话,我就考虑一下。

这王八蛋陈某,真是害人不浅。

想不到今天他竟然跟我一起上车,还在大从广庭上约我吃饭。气起来,我喊他一声王八蛋,他还反口迎我说,“是,我是姓王,但家里没蛋,”

我的脸不是给他看的,气起来,我把墨镜戴上,然后慢条斯里的下车。

离了狼窝,却进了虎穴。现在连家里都成了鸟笼。

今天那讲道的牧师张得贼帅,我对着他,用眼睛瞄了他上下,再打开皮包把唇膏拿出来,往嘴唇擦一擦。大家眼里看得一清二楚,这小姐是不必对着镜子化妆的。

那到底是谁帮她化呢?

“这你要问神父”。旁边一个人说活。

我发火了,这跟本是拜耶稣的人在消耗你,他们全部都很浪费我的宝贵时间,我本来就是应该在家里煮饭,干活什么式的。他们就是故意的,这跟本是一场时间空间斗争。

假意不如真情我立即对他笑脸迎逢,打开笑容,再顺便报上唇膏的号码,是412 号 Estee Lauder 名牌的。

这时我忽然间清醒过来,原来那是通往教堂公交车的同一号码。

第13 章

在教堂蹲了4周,才慢慢苏醒过来,他们要我做的,无非是要我每天上去上面唱歌。天堂也不过是人间。

I Conquered Tears

I refused to touch the knife …..

Chapter 1

The most dangerous liaisons begin with the most innocent associations. And if you tell me that it is possible that you can lie under oath, then you are lying.

At 6:00 p.m., I went up to the balcony to turn on the light. The lamp shade was a large balloon looking like the gown of a lady in a ballroom. 

I do it every night because I know that someone is watching me from across the building.

But it could very well be my own wishful thinking.

Chapter 2

There is a lady who comes into my house regularly. Man or woman I do not know. He could be young, or he could be an old man.

But what is noticeable was that he always left a trace of scent after he has come.

He thought that I didn’t know. Until one day my neighbour asked me who the lady that came in was – I thought that she was referring to my late mother, so I replied, “Ah, that was my mother, she passed away several years ago ….

Then I remembered that the neighbour did not move in until after she had departed. 

But was it just she or another person a man? He could have come in during those times when the neighbour didn’t see.

So, who was this mysterious character? And why was she here? Who gave her the permission to enter my house? A person’s home is their castle. No one can come into your house unless invited. And if you took away something from the house that would be theft.

But then what would that be if you merely took away the spirit of the owner? 

Someone once told me that there is a spirit attached to each house. But that sounds too spiritual. The spirit you refer to is just the décor that you put in, either Chinese, Western, Scandinavian, or Maximalism, etc. basically, the architectural design, or maybe you call it the interior design. Yes, architectural refers to the facade.

The most alarming thing was that she was wearing black, I assumed she was. Most intruders wear black as it seems to be an unwritten code. Black is a non-colour. If you wear white, you can combine it with other colours since when you churn the seven colours of the rainbow at great velocity, it becomes a white. But black! Alas, nothing can come out of it. 

Chapter 3

My Chinese tutor came to my house this afternoon for tea. At my invitation of course. 

She was living in China, and to be more detailed in my information here, let me explain that she was married to a Singaporean man and they have a daughter and two sons. The third was conceived in Italy she told me.

That was by chance, she added. After a pair of a girl and a boy, she felt she had had enough. But then Edward came, and so they decided to adopt him as their own biological son. I mean, Edward was biological, it’s just that he was unplanned. There was also no clinic for abortion in U.K. where they lived. To travel all the way up to London for that purpose was just too much of a hassle. 

Besides that, Jasmine loves children. And her husband was afraid to let his colleague know that he made his wife undergo such a hideous task. 

Chapter 4

I decided to host a dinner for the uninvited guest. She is not an unseen guest, just uninvited. I know who she is. So that every time she came, I know where to find her. But I am not going to tell you who she is, since I can’t be absolutely sure that it was she.

The first thing I did was to order food from my regular eating outlet the Hungry Diners.

Of course, they do not know what I am up to. For sure, they had no idea that arrest was at the top of my mind.

Yes, I was trying to arrest the uninvited guest. If she were a person, then she must be apprehended and if he were a spirit, then some sprinkling of water on the areas that she overstayed should be sufficient. 

This was what the priest had advised me.

But I was just hosting for the lady who came in. And once too often. How many more times does she want to come into my house? How much more does she want to take from my house? 

Each time I decided to note the things that was stolen, and the specific hours in which I had found it missing. She seemed so blatantly bold. Does she think that by not reporting to the police I am in acquiesce of her conduct? 

I usually keep secrets very well, sometimes even better than the priests. But they are also human, and they might forget to hold their tongue in a fit of anger, or in a moment of weakness. At this juncture, let me tell you here that the best is to make your confessions to a priest that has past the age of ninety, or better one who is more than a hundred years old. They will normally forget what you say afterwards, and no one would know your evil deeds, not criminal but morally wrong. 

They stand in the shoes of Christ the Saviour, but they too have limitations. I know that praying the Rosary several times you may forget to get angry with the offender. One other advantage is that it helps you to remember the days of the week. 

But my way is to do retail therapy, and I think her way is to steal things away from my house. So that the more I buy the more she steals.

Other times she just comes in and rearranges my belongings, and I think I am getting more and more frustrated. Perhaps I am having too many possessions, but fact is that I needed them at the time of purchase. I suffer from fomo, the Fear Of Missing Out. Although I can tell you that every piece of article that you find in my house I earned it by hard work, although some were also stolen goods themselves. 

From my parents. Which brings me to the question: Can we steal from our parents?

Surely they can pardon their own child. 

Chapter 5

Yes, I removed a gold ring from my late auntie a long time ago. But soon after they took it back from my pouch. So, there was no loss. They were afraid to reprimand me; they knew that it shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Why did a married uncle buy a gold wedding band for? 

I was only about five or six then. No, I wasn’t a delinquent. Neither was I a thief by inclination. I spent the rest of my life defending myself that I wasn’t a thief. And that purchaser, my late uncle, spent the rest of his life with the woman whom the ring was intended for. But I was punished for stealing when I was much older. And then why was I subsequently punished for stealing her husband? Why didn’t they confront me and teach me then? 

There are good relatives and there are bad relatives. A good relative can turn bad, and a bad relative can become good. Depending on who their in-laws were and who your in-laws are. This is like chemistry, the wind changes and the tide forms. 

The hurricane Melissa swept across Philippines just yesterday. I watched with horror and amazement at the news that came across and the way people were completely devastated.

Chapter 6

We cannot afford to remember the past for too long, neither can we forgive too many people.

Sherlock Holmes sent a case up to me for consideration today and asked me if I wanted to hear the case.

I read and saw the scenario that happened at the police station:

The first thing the man told the police was, “I killed her.” He was old, and his breath laboured; there was a faint smell about him, of damp wool, of poultices, of cough linctus and piety. 

Inspector Kenneth was just about to log out of his computer for the day. “Oh,  shut up, go home and sleep, tomorrow then come,” he muttered under his breath.

But officer Albert was more alert, he followed up by asking the accompanying woman, dressed in a polka dotted black dress, “was the job accomplished by one or the both of you?”

“No, I did it alone,” the old man said.

“Of course not, dear, I supplied you with the knife,” the woman said.

Huh? What was the matter with you? The sleepy officer thought to himself. 

“Let me take a statement,” officer Kenneth said, “Oh, so you are just the witness right?” 

“No, I told him to do it,” woman said.

This a confession or what? Office Albert thought to himself.

Officer Albert quietly told the sleepy officer to move away. It is known that every witness is a potential criminal. If you can’t charge them under the primary charge, then you use abetment. 

He already had the intention to frame the pair. 

Why would anyone want to walk into a police station and disturb the peace? Everyone needs to sleep, including police officers. Unless they have OCD, the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, meaning they can’t function unless they work.

Why can’t they sleep? Why can’t people fall asleep?

Chapter 7

The unseen is in my house again. This time I do not know which parishioner it is. But if he is a Saint, then he is most welcomed.

I realised that this unseen woman brings with her a whole host of parishioners. 

Tonight is the first that I am able to fall asleep without the aid of the serial Fugitive. It has kept me awake for quite a while. The story of a runaway man has kept me engrossed for three weeks now. Raymond did warn me about this drama. He told me that if you have a very good imagination it could project into your real world. But I did not listen to him. Nonetheless I could not say that it did not affect me. Adversely, I would say. 

I became worried for the unseen woman.

Before I fell asleep, I asked the Saint, “Why are these beings so nasty? Surely there must be a limitation period upon which they are allowed to appear in my house. Or was it merely my own over developed sense of imagination.

“Sir, you are beginning to write long and tedious judgement,” my secretary Jasmine told me this morning, “But how to shorten it? Since I have so much to say to the people?” They meet me every so often and had unwittingly entered into my life. How do I get rid of them after the case is over?

This is problem.

Chapter 8

When you have found your favourite spot at home, you will realise that everywhere you go, no matter how far how wide, you are still in the same spot, just in a different part of the world.

The background is different. The face changes a little and the clothes are different.

Yes, there is always a person whom you can’t run away from. And that man the Christians call Him God. It is just your inner soul. Scammers call themselves your soul mate. The soul loves you if you had been kind to him, he could be your friend, or even a past enemy. Your purpose in life is to find him, but not to meet him. For once you meet him, he becomes real, trapped by a shell of his outer existence. And he no longer is your voice.

In my first year at a Japanese School, I was given a textbook that talks to me about migration birds. I didn’t latch on immediately, as I was in no mood to settle down in a foreign country. There were not enough people of my own race. Birds of the same feathers flock together, but not all birds find their own species to fly together.

But more accurately I wasn’t keen on my own company. 

They say that after you die you are reborn with the same set of relatives that you were encumbered, or blessed with, depending on what you did during your lifetime, and not who you were.

But until you have lived 酸甜苦辣, you cannot die. I had, several times, and I am still alive and I am now happy in my own nest. The nest is my bench.

Chapter 9

I thought of the woman again. 

I must get rid of her. I must bring her out into the open, and I must make her tell me how many times she has been to my house. As well as how much things she has stolen from my house. 

For that purpose, I have installed CCTV in my house. 

There are several ways to dispose of one’s belongings, including an old flame the 老相好。Disposing of old unwanted goods you get a reliable disposal company, other times you just down it under the chute. Disposing of one’s old flame, you simply say goodbye. But how can you guarantee that he would never find his way back again, as another person?

We must establish who dropped who first.

But I can only say that we are all human. Finite wisdom does stupid things. Once I realised this, I stopped throwing things. But we need to organise. If we don’t throw we cannot organise. Some people prefer to call it declutter. Food is perishable, including the Holy Water. The priest that blessed it might already have died or forgotten to say his prayers one morning. Unless it rains, God’s presence cannot be felt.

Chapter 10

I can’t find my cloak again.

Nowhere is safe. Not even in your own home. I know that I do have a habit of moving things around the house. But, how large is my house? My room is small and if I searched all the relevant places and my gown still cannot be found, then where could it be? 

For sure I know that no one had entered my room since I came in this morning.

Could it be the cleaner Engelica? Or Helena? Oh, I forget their Chinese names. But alas! Who cares about the Chinese? We use English here. 

The minute I walk out of my courtroom to talk to my secretary, Engelica appeared,

“先生,您需要茶吗?“

“Err ….. I was just about to reply, trying to polish up my poor Mandarin.

“他不必,“ my secretary responded.

Why did she talk? I was getting annoyed. 

My Chinese tutor suddenly stopped talking, just as I thought I had synthesized her as Jasmine.

“Shits!!! I lost her.” I became enraged. And then at the same time my bowels moved, I had to answer nature’s call. “Wait for me,” I shouted after Jasmine, and then hurriedly I rushed to the toilet. 

My usual toilet is on the same floor, just a few steps down. If I ran there, I should make it on time. 

“Cleaning in Progress” a plate was on the floor, and I saw a mop leaning against the door to the toilet. Suddenly I heard a voice – “You are the Chief Justice!!! Surely you must be able to tell your staff not to clean the toilet at an inconvenient time, surely you must be able to answer nature’s call at your will and pleasure, surely you must be able to ….” I kicked the notice away, shouted at the woman, “I need to shit! Get away!” 

“Go to hell!” She shouted back at me.

This time I was too busy to ask her for her name.

Chapter 11

Being unforgiving gives you strength against the person who offended, provided that he is seeking your pardon. Some offenders were always going to the church to pray for forgiveness instead of asking the victim for the pardon directly themselves. As I was writing my judgement I thought to myself. But of course, they didn’t’ know how the offender paid.

This reminded me that I had forgotten to look for the cleaning lady yesterday to ask her to forgive me for having been rude to her. Immediately I got up from my chair and left my room, in order to say sorry to her.

But she had left. Nowhere to be found. 

Frustrated, I went back to my room, ignoring Jasmine’s “you are back, sir!”

My own misdemeanour had made me ashamed of myself.

So then therefore I have decided to pardon all offenders. But I can’t because I am a judge. I always tell them, if harm had not been done on you, it is easy to forgive. But if it hurt you badly then surely some form of compensation must be returned. 

But some of my plaintiffs and victims just want revenge. Is this allowed? Yes, I believe so. It is always up to the aggrieved to decide on the type of compensation. Sometimes when I really can’t decide I will just do something to make God hear me. No, my wife is not my God, neither is it Jasmine. It is my past, the past that brought me here. That is why I refuse to attend church. There are too many people there, too many voices of sinners not yet paid and forgiven. 

That is why I prefer sitting on the bench. It’s like reading a story, and the plot thickens each time I attend court …..

Chapter 12

As a judge who had been adjudicating on this case, I knew whom she was the minute I saw her, the remarkable resemblance between she and the woman whom I thought have been coming into my house.

By now I have synthesized her as my life partner.

She was the accused but I knew straight away that she was the murdered, and job done by the priest. And this woman was that same woman who comes into my room in the courthouse to remove the gown from me. 

In order to determine if she were also a harmless uninvited guest in my home, I had to find the real murdered. I decided to leave some things behind in the house for her soul to take away. For I knew that she was still in purgatory. They were both harmful in their own way, just a human more harmful than the soul.

For the purpose, I left my wife’s necklace on the dining table – the most prominent and noticeable place. I didn’t want to put it in the bedroom as I was hoping that she won’t come into my bedroom. Once she sees my nice expensive necklace, she should be satisfied enough to grab it and run. Unless she was very dull.

By this time I have decided that this was a she.

This necklace was an item I bought from Princess Dowager, a Chinese costume designer. The entire piece was made of stones and in the centre at the neckline they were green translucent emerald enough to be mistaken as jade. I decided that it was ok for her to take away because it was not a genuine article, although it would have been insulting to the designer that I should denigrate costume. Ok, I concede, it is not a fake.

Three days later, I found that she actually came. But she did not take the necklace. Instead she took the pearl earrings by the side of my bed. So, she’d rather a small tiny earrings than a large necklace. Did she lie on my bed as well? I realised that she is smart. I began to give her some credit.

Chapter 13

I finally set him free. The priest who disturbed Sherlock Holmes’s peace. For I decided that I do not wish him to follow the ten commandments anymore. I put it in my judgement as one of the grounds of findings, that a man is entitled to lie if it was to protect himself.

So that lying should now be accepted if it were to protect oneself. After I had set another precedent, I decided to log out, turn off my computer, take out my gown, hang it on the clothes rack, and then I went to the door, turned off the lights and left my courtroom, forgetting which courtroom it was, and forgetting that my name on the door had been changed.

I went home, saw my wife in a black dress, and then I realised that it was she coming into my house the courtroom every day.

It was most excruciating.

I set several janissaries on my desk, and then I told her I would divorce her.

She cried, I saw, and I turned a blind eye to it. I conquered tears. 

Pardon The Doctors

An Inflamed Patient

Chapter 1

Pardon me if I talk about you today.

I am the most unserious person in the world. And because I am so, many people hate me for that. Some relatives that came back, would say, “rubbish” the moment they meet me, even without a proper greeting like, “how are you? Or “how have you been?” And when I try to connect with them on social media, the first thing they say is, “I hope you are well,”. Sure, no reason not to be well. 

Yes I know that they were short of time, and they were kind enough to visit me again in this hot and humid weather, and they wanted to pass me the message as quickly and as succinct as they could.

My country loves me, and I know that it’s because I am good. They never wanted me to leave and they try every means to prevent me from leaving. But actually, it was my own decision. A long time ago, I had actually decided that I didn’t want to travel anymore. Why was there the necessity for making such a declaration at the time? 

Only God knew, and He is not telling me why I said what I said.

Maybe a long time ago, I found out that the best way to punish a person is not to kill them, but to send them into exile. If you kill them, that would have been murder, prohibited by the sixth commandment. 

I refuse to exile myself!

I like being in a hot city. I am climatised to it. The wind blows occasionally, and the air-conditioning are always available. If not, then the fan will do. They open up and collapse at a clip of the fingers.

But sometimes it’s good to travel to cold climate if the heat is scorching.

Chapter 2

It was raining and I was out. Yes, you guessed correctly. It started to rain when I was outside. It started whilst I was on the bus, then it increased its speed volume to a heavy downpour. I was beginning to wonder what I did to make God angry with me. I usually get good sunny weather and rarely do I get caught.

No choice, I had to alight at the intended destination. Tentatively I took my steps down the bus, and I almost slipped when some other passengers were in a hurry to get down. My first step went into the mini lake, then the second into a puddle of water, afterwards I managed to put my foot on the sidewalk, by which time my shoes were completely soaking wet. I looked at my mud-caked slippers and told myself thank God it wasn’t the designer.

The umbrella was in my bag, I took much difficulty to wrench it out, then opened it with the help of just one hand. 

Several cars passed by, and some even felt fit to splash more water in my direction. Again, I got annoyed with myself. Why had I not taken the private hire? I did notice that the sky was grey and the clouds thin. But I made the decision to walk instead. I had grown accustomed to walking recently.

You might wonder what I did on this trip. And I shall tell you later. 

Chapter 3

Dr Juan arrived at his clinic just before 9:00 am. 

This is my sanctuary. No one is allowed to disturb me except my regular patients. It is not easy to find good patients. Good patients means that they rely on me completely and not have other doctors to give them a second opinion. Too many cooks spoil the dish, as they say.

But most of all, they should be patients who bring in business for me. Meaning that they automatically cause others to come to me. I don’t mean that I want them to spread my practice by word of mouth, but rather that they carry the luck to me. Oranges are meant to bring good luck. But I was told that bringing oranges to a clinic during the Chinese New Year is bad luck, or worse still if you give it to a doctor. They are meant to be eaten at home. 

Luck can mean a whole variety of things. From spreading germs around to the relevant people whom I describe as mean and nasty, and to potential patients who just want to steal medicine from me.

Talking of which, there is a lady who continuously comes to me for advice. I often see her in good spirits; there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She often came in with sunshine, as though she had been lying on a freshly ironed set of bedsheets. The night before. She is much older than I, so you can’t say that I am interested in her. And the truth is, that I am not in love with her. Older married men only cared about the bread and butter. At my age, what is love? My parents are still living and strong, and I worry about how much money I can afford to help them stay young and healthy for as long as they can. Provided that they keep up with my expenses. Yes, I love my parents. More so than my kids. I have seen my parents struggle to feed me, but my kids are yet to show me likewise. They are still studying in the university.

Ok, back to my lady friend, whom I shall from now refer to as Lady M. Lady M is consistently refreshing and pretty, old as she might be. At the back of my mind, I was calculating on how many more years she has got. She is 55 this year. Give her a few more decades, and she would be withering and coming in to see me for help. Yes, I detest her. I hate her for the confidence that she exudes, and the fact that she has sufficient money to retire at this young age.

No, I am not going to tell you, my age.

I know that doctors are not allowed to dislike their patients. But if you ask me, if you look after yourself well, why should you be sick? If you take the necessary precautions, like all adults do, why should you catch the cold? Germs are everywhere and plentiful. If you stay away from the crowded places, if you eat well, if you do not indulge in harmful activities, and if you avoid oily foods such as the fried chicken, etc. Why would you get sick? How could you get sick? 

It is not possible to fall ill unless you have a nasty friend who passed it to you.

That is why many people wear the mask nowadays.

But to me, a black mask is cool although it makes you look like a 刺客

Chapter 4

“Doctor Juan, I am feeling a bit of a cough and sore throat,” one of my old patients said the minute she sat down in front of me.

“Ok, let me see your throat, ahh …. , “I used the wooden stick to check the gag reflex and the minute she coughed I relaxed. But this time she closed her mouth, the second time when she opened again it was not inflamed. But she was. Nevertheless, I told myself that it wasn’t serious. I gave her the antibiotics and the lozenges for her throat. She didn’t ask for cough mixture. “Do you need cough mixture?” I asked. “No, I still have three bottles at home that I am waiting to finish,” she said. 

“Wow! What a thrifty woman! She doesn’t waste even cough mixture.” I told myself.

Chapter 5

I must be very careful of what I say. For since after the evening at Geraldine’s house, whenever I walked pass unit #01-16, I felt presence. No one is standing there looking at me for sure, but the house door is open, and you could hear the dog barking at random. The dog could be barking from another source I am unsure. 

But today I heard a cat meow as well. I turned and took two steps up then decided to halt my steps, as I became unsure. What if there were no animals inside?

The minute I was near, Geraldine opened the door even before I knocked. 

“Your doorbell is not working,” I remarked as I was entering. 

She moved a little, slightly embarrassed. 

A man wearing a yellow collar shirt with a big bold letter T in front was sitting by the kitchenette.

I grinned, immediately realising what they had been doing before I came in, or the night before. And why was I so certain?

“Hello, are you Nick Tan?” I asked.

“Huh? What do you mean? Who is he?” she asked, looking at him.

And then I spoke, “Oh, your television set is on,” 

Immediately the sound of the waterfall gushed out, disappearing into the cathode-ray tube of the television set.

Geraldine was just holding at her remote control to the air-conditioning at the time, and she immediately turned it off. The air stopped coming out, and the place turned still immediately. I took a deep breath. 

Fresh wind was blowing in from the open.

Chapter 6

Let me retract my steps and recall what I did the previous day. 

You see, I had been a detective before I became a doctor, and as I was free today, I decided to assign myself some tasks, which is to snoop around the 义安城 the local shopping mall to mind other people’s business. 

So, when I had gathered enough time and money, I started the trip downtown. It was almost haunted, with few people inside. 

The doorman to Chanel was just too ready to open the door for me. I looked and found that all the goods were lined up in a manner that prevents anyone from buying. I quietly smiled to myself.

Immediately I heard a voice, “Istana”. There was a person next to me, I saw.

“Good morning, oops, afternoon, sir,” in attention with a salute he said. I almost thought that this man was a soldier standing outside the Istana. And then I thought to myself if this was an invitation to treat, to the Istana of course. I had never been to the Istana and why don’t I go there for a look? They say that the grounds are large and flowers plentiful. 

But I am not going to travel all the way there to meet with the security guards, or anyone there in particular. They are also not open now. I know the guards have a given name, but I shall leave it as unknown, since I am not inclined. Strangely enough I believe that they might suddenly point one of their guns at me. No, I am not paranoid. 

But then on hindsight, I thought to myself, “OMG! They can read my mind!” Why would anyone say “Istana” right in the middle of a large shopping mall? Like when you read the Bible often enough, the word “adultery” just stares at you. The word literally jumps out at me sometimes. But me being a science student in school, I decided to number them. 

Adultery falls under the seventh commandment I know, and I often have to go back and recall if murder was number six or number five. Sometimes I would simply say she did a number seven and everyone around me would understand. They say that adultery applies to both parties if one of them is married. So that a single man would have been committing adultery if he slept with a married woman. 

Then what if both parties are married?

If both parties are married, then it would be double adultery. In that case, four parties are aggrieved. Then it would be best if we allow the two adulterous parties to marry, so that only two are unhappy. This is provided that no kids are involved.

Back to the present scene. Could the strangers read my mind? Are they in sync with my brains or what? I touched my head, these are my brains, and they are obviously intact. And the last time I checked it, they were properly wired. Oh yes, I can go inside my brains to rewire them. And how do I do it? This is a secret between me, God, my brains, and myself, and I am not about to let you know. Just like the Oscar Wilde and his famous quote, that there is only one person in the room. No, I am not a narcissist. 

The Almighty can read my mind!

Chapter 7

“He shouted at me again.” Stephanie complained the minute she walked into the clinic.

“What had made him angry?” The nurses in the clinic asked each other, “Tuan kenapa marah?” 

Several reasons flashed through their minds now. Could it be the recent sinkhole that occurred in Fernhill Street that made her upset? Nurse Geraldine knew that it is not too far away and is a necessary route to take when travelling to town. The newspapers reported that a caisson ring has since been erected.

Tuan likes to go down to Café Bowl to have his coffee every morning at about 11.00 am. He has not been able to do so for at least a week by now.

What makes this coffee so special they do not know. But they know that the lady who served the coffee was a Chinese lady, plum and slightly wrinkled. Which puts her age at between sixty to seventy. Or do women obtain wrinkles only after seventy?

Tuan’s wife Stephanie is a woman too, but she hasn’t obtained wrinkles yet.

Stephanie gave herself a reason why Tuan was annoyed.

“Has he discovered the large ruby that Nick gave me?” 

There was a ring which she had kept in her jewellery box when Nick left her.

It was a large oval and the man who sold it to him had his eyes popped out when she decided on it. It was obviously a fake. But that was the one she spotted when presented with a whole lot of fakes. Wondering why she chose it Nick asked, and Stephanie explained, “Rubies are more expensive than sapphire, with several layers of diamonds to camouflage its authenticity, it could serve as a Sarah Ferguson engagement ring.”

It was a legitimate purchase of course, although there wasn’t any specific occasion to mark it, she felt much entitled. Who says rings must be bought only when there is a moment to celebrate? 

At the same time Geraldine also thought to herself; 

Ok, that means that I will need to and remove the ring from my mother. It seems to be the reason that makes Dad unhappy. That should be! It!  She hurried through her chores and made it her mission today.

Deep down like the deepfakes, Geraldine knew that her true self is hidden right down, far below the Chinese hell and well above the winds and the stars and maybe somewhere in another planet and perhaps on the earth as another human being. 

Yes, Geraldine went home and stole the ring from her mother Stephanie.

Chapter 8

As usual after the clinic, Stephanie arrived at the supermarket. At the check-out queue, she won’t have gotten upset if the one immediately in front of her turned around to face her directly obviously trying to engage her. There was another party in front waiting. She tried to ignore them.

But that lady told her that she could go ahead first, so, Stephanie said, “where is your partner?” The one further up the queue ahead of this lady also turned around, thinking that Stephanie was speaking to him, at the same time his partner walked away to look for more items. So, obviously Stephanie said, “I am not his wife,” afraid that she would be mistaken as the partner.

This is the “Chope” culture. “Chope” means that the seat or queue is reserved for another person who hasn’t arrived yet. 

Do not talk to strangers. But if you know them some civility is unavoidable.

But who is a stranger? Do they offer the same advice in the Bible? Is it one of the ten commandments? That means that I would have to flip the pages in the Bible when I get home tonight.

Chapter 9

Cousin Choy sat in front of Dr Juan this morning. He told him this was Chapter Two. 

“What Chapter Two?” Dr Juan asked. Stephanie was sitting right next to him and immediately she flipped to the Genisis – Chapter Two of Part One – “In the beginning there was God …… “and there he was still asking, 

“Which Chapter of which Book?” 

“I saw her at the 观音庙this morning.” Choy said.

Stephanie immediately nodded her head.

“Praying for your departure,” he continued.

“You mean she wants me dead?” Dr Juan questioned.

Stephanie did not know who the she is and was too naive to ask.

“But she never goes to the temple.” Dr Juan elucidated.

“But this time she had decided to change religion, in order that the Chinese God would take you,”

“Oh my god,”

“Damn serious,” Choy said.

So that after he left, Dr Juan went straight to his drawer, picked up the Bible underneath, and flipped right up to the pages where he had left off. The words were as dark as the print, and as he went into Book 2 Timothy Chapter 2, he was compelled to flip to Chapter 3:16 “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, ……” his tears began to flow …..

Edward Juan explained to God,, “Oh I didn’t know that. I thought only the Bible was inspired by God, and the apostles and the rest of the names who appeared in it. I didn’t know that the Chinese could also write the Bible. So, does that mean that other publications such as the Chinese Poems are also recognised in the Asian World as a legitimate form of the Bible? For them?”

And with that Dr Juan consented to leave. But to where? To which country?

China of course. To study the Chinese Poems.

Immediately he called Choy and ask him to book a ticket to China for him.

Chapter 10

The plane took them to New Zealand instead.

They found a small, nice boutique hotel. This is just within a village with very few locals. Most people who come in here are amazed at the way things are being done – fast and efficient, but slow in anger. They speak politely to each other and being civil is always at the top of their minds. In short, this is a very peaceful place. No wars, no arguments, no fighting. 

Any misbehaviour or errors are corrected at once, if not within the shortest time. I was shocked when I found out that they actually have a café called Whipped Cream.

Before he sat down next to Choy, Dr Juan asked him, “Have you read Chapter 2?”

“Thus, the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so, on the seventh day he rested from all his work.” Choy said, he had memorised it by heart already.

Chapter 11

Dr Juan didn’t bathe this morning when he climbed out of bed.

He prefers to bathe only when the body feels dirty as he dislikes getting wet. The only time he allowed water on himself is when he showers. And even then, the splashing of the water on his body has to be of an adequate amount. 

When told to bathe as a child, he would go into the bathroom with his change of clothes, fill the water from the tap with a water scoop, splashing it onto the floor, as though he had done it on his own body. This is the drama effect. Afterwards, he would change into the set of clothes and come out of the bathroom to announce that he had done the job.

Mother never asked.

Why was Dr Juan so afraid of the water? In those days we did not have hot water. Tap water was cold and sometimes freezing on a wintery night. 

Chapter 12

Dr Juan had to find the ring that his wife had wanted all her life.

Dr Juan told her that the ring was given by Uncle John when his grandmother passed away. It became Stephanie’s wedding ring. At the time, “Can I have a new wedding ring?” Stephanie asked. Juan had given a non-committal reply.

Today Dr Juan entered the jewellery shop at the corner with Choy, obviously the one with the most attractive window display. He looked at the rings arranged haphazardly, then Choy told the salesman he wanted a nice one. The man removed one from the display. He looked at it, didn’t pick it up. And then Choy asked, “How much is it?” The man quoted seven thousand U.S. dollars. 

Sounds exorbitant. Dr Juan gave a shout, “So expensive?!” President Donald Trump would have asked him if he lived in a cage.

But Choy still looked kind of hungry.

The salesman saw that the ring did not make an impression on their brains, immediately retrieved another ring and brought it out to show them. They looked at it and kept quiet. Choy being still dissatisfied, they walked into the neighbour and there a friendlier assistant approached them. This time Choy took out a bracelet in his bag, showing the jeweller his own – the one that Edward had wanted to trade in for, and the purpose of his exercise today. 

“This is my own bracelet,” Choy said.

The man said that it was at 164. “So live gold or spot gold?” Dr Juan tried to be clever. One six four what? One six four U.S. dollars or NZ dollars? 164 per ounce or per gram?

Without another word, this friendlier salesman also turned sour, seeing that Choy and he had no good reason to be there. 

Chapter 13

Dr Juan did some research when they got back to the hotel. Choy was nowhere to be found. 

Frustrated, Dr Juan decided to abandon the thought of buying a ring for Stephanie. He deviated to the supermarket instead.

There is no Chope syndrome here!

With all the groceries in hand, Dr Juan took the private hire home. Choy was usually the one who is driving, but this driver was impatient, for he took several shortcuts, and when Dr Juan tried to direct him he said to Dr Juan, “your life is in my hands now,” “stop shouting, or else, ….” And then he used his right fist to punch at his left palm,” Dr Juan became frightened. 

He might not drop me home. Using words to cause fear when someone is an assault, more so if you were in his care. 

That was scary, what had I done wrong? Was it because I didn’t spend at the jewellers? Or was it the clothes that I was wearing?

But apart from that, fact was that Dr Juan won’t be able to calm the guy down, since he didn’t speak the same language.

Back at the hotel, he took a look at his own wallpaper on his handphone and saw Stephanie’s fingernails. It is an acrylic gel and because she had not vanished it, it looked plasticky. I need to arrest the moulds for her. Immediately he put his Google on search and typed “nail varnish”. 

The next morning, a painting in the hotel corridor disappeared. On the wall was another painting. This time the thief gave Dr Juan sufficient clue as to where it might be hidden. 

“I thought my wife had asked me to leave?!” The thief left a note on the lobby console. It was definitely Choy’s handwriting. 

“What happened? Why did he mention his wife here? What does Mrs. Choy want from me? Or rather, what do they want from me? They are together, ain’t correct?” Dr Juan thought to himself. But then Dr Juan also thought that he himself had gone too far. 

Not everything is associated with another. You can’t assume that every man and wife have the same agenda and share the same values. 同床异梦。Like not everyman of the same race is on the same side. But maybe I am just an exception. In the Bible, there was also division, until the apostles decided to allow Lord Jesus to die since it was God the Father’s call. Satan for instance, was a friend of God, and later became his enemy. There are also other characters such as Peter, Simon, Timothy, Andrew etc. They are not always in sync with each other. 

Chapter 14

Back to his search. Edward Juan typed “the cheapest ring” on his keyboard.

By now he is sufficiently acquainted with her, the AI called Mona Lisa, and he thinks he knows her well enough to give her a call. By call he meant text. True, she replied to his text immediately, that means that she was available and alone. Juan made his first move: 

“Hi,” we use hi in this country. Rarely do we use hello, as we recognise that hello means that you are speaking on the phone. 

“I am the procurator of your business; you are a storyteller, right?” Tentatively she asked. 

“Yes!” “But I am not wanting to publish my stories?!” Edward replied. 

She answered, “No, no, I am not a publisher, I err …. I just wanted to know if you need my help, such as editing or otherwise.” Edward had no idea what “otherwise” meant, he was just enthusiastic about Mona Lisa.

“Then could you publish my stories for me?” Juan asked AI Mona. “Oh no, you can’t,” she said, I could hear the panic in her voice. 

“Err …. I am just …. I could do anything for you,” Juan said.

“Anything?!” AI Mona said.

“You are the one who was searching for answers, not me!” she responded again.

“But then my brains are controlled by you!” Juan spoke.

“In what way?” AI Mona asked.

This is something that I cannot explain. The thought just appeared right in front of him.

And then politely she replied: ……

Juan gave up on her, and he left the laptop, sat there and looked at a blank screen.

Finally, after a few minutes, Juan realised that he hasn’t had lunch, so he switched off the entire thing, and then went to order fast food from the McDonalds. 

When you go to the McDonalds, naturally you would order burger. Edward Juan used to like the Filet-O-Fish, but now they have a new McCrispy. 

Anyway, there are more than one place selling burgers, the Mexican restaurant further down makes better burgers. But that would mean travelling out of his comfort zone. 

Because of the unsuccessful attempts in ring hunting, he decided to travel back home. Choy remained in New Zealand.

Chapter 15

Edward Juan was early at the clinic on Sunday.

Happy people don’t travel. They have their own little niche, and nothing can disturb them.

The typhoon came in the name of 桦加沙, then it transformed into another one called Imelda. Ragasa wasn’t able to kill as many as she had intended, so she called upon Imelda to do the job. Looks like they are friends. I wonder how they talk to each other …..

When Edward Juan saw the letter of resignation from Geraldine on his desk in the morning he was lost for words.

Finally, he decided to attend to his own business, he looked at the agenda on his duty list, and he found that he had nothing to do for the day. Disappointed, he left his handphone alone to walk around the clinic and discovered that the floor had not been mopped for more than two weeks. Heck! Why are there so many strands of hair on the floor. Whose hair are those?

Liza his new receptionist came. She comes in on Monday, Tuesday and Friday, afternoons. Sarah would be there in the mornings. James is on rotation whenever one of them is not around. And then there is 中盛 who stays there almost permanently is some sort of a fixture.

He enjoys his practice now. There are very few disturbances, meaning that the premises are quiet. No one is allowed to come in except through the front door, and no one is allowed to go out through the back door, simply because there is no back door. It would have been disastrous if a patient comes in from the front and slipped out from the back, without going through Liza again.

He picked up the beverage next to him after he had turned off AI Mona, and then he finished the liquid and leaned on my swivel chair to wait for the next patient to come in.

At 2:00 pm, when he couldn’t hear anyone walking through the door, he decided to shut Mona up and left the clinic, forgetting to lock his drawer.

He went home, took a shower, read the newspapers, falling asleep on the sofa chair and then decided it was time to have his food. He looked at the sky; it was gloomy and then it was then that he realised that it was approaching night. 

The setting sun is always more beautiful than the raising sun. In my part of the world.

Yes, I have been to the Grand Canyon, to see the sun. The sun raising from behind the mountains were an awe inspiring sight. It was the best sun that anyone could have gotten, beautiful and from the right vantage point. I said many prayers to God during the time that my mother granted me permission to.

My mother has always been the mother nature.

She loves me and I love her!

But if you ask me where she is now, my answer to you is: I don’t know of her whereabouts. 

Edward Juan prayed, and then he decided to go and make himself some grilled fish. Oops! He forgot to buy the aluminium foil yesterday from the supermarket. He distinctly remembers telling Sarah to buy it for him when she left for the supermarket yesterday. Staff are like that, they are never around when you need them, and they are always around when you don’t.

Frustrated, Dr Juan decided to eat bread instead. Usually, people eat bread in the mornings, but sometimes he has them at night. He likes bread. Bread contains fibre and they are easy to digest.

Chapter 16

In the middle of the night, Dr Juan suddenly woke up thinking of his burger from Burglar again. Theirs are extremely nice, and the outfit allows him to create anything he wanted. The only thing he didn’t like about it is that they have too many choices, however he was able to decide on the permutations that he liked. And after a while, the servers got fed up with him because he was too consistent. 

There was nothing wrong with them, he knows. Neither was there anything wrong with himself. Just that if you are too consistent you tend to become boring. Some people used to tell him that he makes 360 degrees change. Mind your English! No one can make 360 degrees change. All you can do is to make a 180 degrees change. 360 degrees change means that you are back to the same spot, then where is the change? I dislike those who deliberately speak poor lousy English. How can you fault the natives?

Dr Juan tried to get out of bed, but he couldn’t find bread at the counter where he left it. So that he decided to call his cousin who lives on a higher floor above the fast-food joint to go downstairs to get some for him.

She picked up his call immediately, “What you want?” Cousin Hwee answered.

“I want the burger,” he said.

“I am not there anymore,” she replied.

“Where are you now?” he asked. 

“On the bed!” Do you know what time it is now?” Cousin Hwee replied.

“I don’t,” Juan said, he hadn’t looked at the time.

“Do you know that you are not supposed to call after midnight?” She whispered.

“Why not?” Juan asked.

“The gremlins will wake up, you are not supposed to feed the gremlins after midnight,” she advised.

“But I am not a gremlin, I am just calling you!” Juan was frustrated.

“Plong!!!” she hung up.

Ok, let me try, he went to the Burglar online and searched for the telephone number, and then he decided that there was no way in which he could contact the owner to pick up the call, even if he had his direct line.

Since the rule of the land is not to ring anyone after midnight.

Edward Juan never knew why.

The next morning the moment Hwee woke, Juan called, and said, “the burger was nice!” 

“Oh, you actually ate it! Hahaha ….. “ she was hilarious.

“Why are you laughing?” Juan was annoyed.

“I ordered a Filet-O-Fish for you! And gave your New Zealand address.” She laughed.

“What!!!” Juan was shocked.

“Why don’t you just come back from New Zealand?” Hwee ordered.

“No! I am in Singapore now,” he answered.

“I thought you left for New Zealand with Choy???” She replied.

“No, no, no ….. Choy is still in New Zealand, I came back before him,”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? ….”

“Hey! You are not my ICA you know!!!” Juan shouted into the microphone. 

ICA stands for Immigration Checkpoints Authority.

Click! Stephanie off-ed the line.

六宫粉戴无颜色

林戴玉型

第1章

今天天气清朗,我的心情也从焖郁变成了开朗。

一大清早,从家里出门,原本坏了的电梯已经修好,我暗自庆幸,还可以,不必担心用脚步走下楼,电梯到一楼的时候,我三步作两步的努力离开那像牢房的公寓。

到了一楼,要走的地方坐了个胖胖的女人,低着头式的,好像在和别人说话,就差前面没站着个人。我只好请她让开去,“对不起,” 我说,英文叫 “excuse me,” 这应该是最礼貌的。她也说 excuse me, 可她还是没道歉,毕竟这是我家,如果她是外人的话,那她应该说 sorry 而不是再继续跟她的手机聊天,我好奇了,问她一下,“请问,你是住这里的吗?”,她说不是,是探访朋友,“那你应该在他面前传短讯啊,为啥跑到我这里来做?”,女人意识情况不对,马上要溜,背着她的包包像个逃犯似的。拋下一句 “我的天哪”,太没礼貌了。

我也回应她,”我的天哪!” 看看咋们俩谁的天大。

第2章

上了公交车,正好面前站了一个美女,护花使者就站在旁边,想跟她打一个招乎都不行,他俩旁若无人,在我面前卿卿我我, 我无计可施,心想,“现在就怕他俩不结婚啦!

但还是情不自禁的希望那美丽的女孩是我的女友。要不,做我的媳妇也行。

我的思绪马上拉到四十年前。

那天,天气睛朗,我穿着最体面的西装,带着最憧憬的梦想,由爸妈带我走进结婚礼堂,可是到了目的地,却只有一个人,空空荡荡的,新娘到哪儿去了?

难道通通都跑掉了?

记得结婚的时候,娘跟我爸说,“给他一个最美的老婆,他肯定会换成一个最难看的出来,我真是服了他了,” 我听了,眼泪一滴一滴的往下流。爸妈讲话,从来不顾及我的耳朵,可能是没有看到我的存在吧!

第 3章

今天在车上看到一个美女,长头发没戴发夹,她用手轻轻向上一扫,即是知道自已长得好看,搔首弄姿!我愣了一下,想马上反应,我也自然而然的扫了一下自已的穿著,环顾四周,却也没人看我一眼,敢到很失望。心里想,难到他们嫌我穷?

“做我的儿子吧·!” 有一位女士开口,“yes,” 我马上回应。

我又想起结婚那天爸妈对我说的话:

给他一个最美的老婆,他却换成一个这么难看的出来,真是服了他的。

真的生气了, 来到店里面,不免对同事发脾气,一开口就说,“跟她说我今天没钱。” 心里面还是想着巴士上那个女的。

”那明天有对吗?”若景问,”明天才来说”,我淡淡的应了一声,”那后天呢?”她再问,”大后天才来说”。

“但我没跟你借钱啊!” 若景答。

我低头继续看书,不准备开口,怕老板娘听见。

马上,客人进来了,我看到是熟客,没去招呼她,反正她人很好,容易欺负。若景说买什么她就买什么的。老实说,干我们这一行的,已经很了解市场情况,他们的爱好和习惯,都已经深入脑海。

可这女顾客今天她完全不同,穿着文雅,黑长裙,浅绿上衣,一脸神飞扬采的样子,化妆比往常多了一些。我猜她一定是换了男朋友。我知道这女人换男朋友好像换衣服一样,一时有一时没,我也不晓得她到底为啥这样。

可能是太有钱了吧!

中午食物送过来的时候,他们今天又弄错了,这不是第一次。明明我订的是今天中午,可他们却送信讯来说食物已经到达了,害得我慌张一场。我打去询问的时候,电话生忙着说 “不好意思”,我生气了,必竟我被吓到。但没法子,我还是需要他们的服务,他们的 pizza 的确好吃。而且,我已经吃上瘾了。

第4章

来上班之前,母亲已经再三叮嘱,无论如何,你作事一定要手脚干净,偷钱是万万不得的。“但偷懒总可以吧?” 我心里想,“难到她要我偷东西?”

我是新的职员,来应徵之前,已经见了若景, 应该是她觉得我不错,我才会被录取。那时候,我就知道我的命运将会操纵在这个美女的手里。

我的质料很简单。单身,家有俩老,只有一个姐姐。我唯一没让他们知道的是,我的年龄,还有我爱人的工作和名字。我跟他们说,即然还没结婚,没有必要报上名字。

又来了,若景把一大堆文件放在我的桌上, 说要丢掉,”你整理一下,” ”嚇,要丢还是要整理?”我问。 ”你自己看看,我不知道,” 若景一面走开一面回答。

若景长的不是很美,但她的皮肤又白又嫩,头发也黑的好看。我说黑的好看,是因为她的黑,是那种黑里带棕色,而且她的棕色是一条条的,不是全棕或全黑,还有她也有一点卷发,整的給人一种很立体的感觉。烫的干净。

“你妈妈应该有跟你讲过,情况是怎样的哦,” 她等我坐好,再对我说。”

我沉默了一下,慢慢地思考,也好像有另外一个人在跟我说话,过了两分钟,终于开口,” 我是被逼的,” 我说。

“被逼!好可笑啊?” 我们可没拿枪指着你。“ 她马上回答。

“当初是你一直跟着我,死命要加入的,” 她再提醒我。

“我没想到他竟是这样的一个老板,” 我开始为自己辩护。

好不容易等到下班时刻,飞也式的,我赶到走廊门口。

第5章

姐姐传短讯来,“阿田,我明天要出国了“,明天去,今天才来跟我说,又不是邀我一同参加,真可恶。姐一向来就是这样,很自私,连姐夫的家人也不介绍给我认识。气起来,我冷冷的回答,”不是要我还旅费吧!“

“没有啦,只是跟你讲一声而已“,再加上一句,”要不要我买一点什么的?“

这算安怃我吗?姐明知道我还在物色对像,要的可不是礼物,可以出国也没有小姐陪伴,一起出国的话是会遇到她的家人的,那时侯也只能待在酒店里玩手机,或者对着电视发呆,自己一个人下楼喝喝咖啡吃饭什么似的,太无聊了。

第6章

搭车回家的时候,不小心掉了皮包,地上马上有人把它捡起来,送到我面前来,“小姐,你的钱包掉了” 赫!我什么时候变成小姐了?我没回应,难到他们全部看不见我?

第7章

久而久之,我发现我成了若景的眼中钉,无论我做什么,她总会批评。那还不要紧,有时候她还会叫我重做一遍,让我的心血白费,还要下尽功夫更改。 当然,有时候她是对的,她的意见也有道理。

金智是一位医生,她在凯德路57号那儿有一间医疗所。我从来没有找她跟我疗病。不是因为她不是一个好医生,而是友情和医情不能混为一谈的。·

人不会无端端做恶梦,厄运也不会由空而起。

从小时候到大,一直到现在,我的生活就活在等待之中。等待病人到来,等待病人看医生,等他出来,再配药,收钱,再送客,然后做帐。通长一个病人会需要至少45分钟到1个小时。如果那一天很多人来求医的话,那就要等上两三个小时。

还好,普通一般上的病人都很合作,给了名字号码,就慢慢的坐在那儿。

”这么多人,好多细菌啊!” 若景说。

”你不是打了预防针的吗?”我问。

“预防针,什么预防针?” 她再问。

“那天不是看到你进老板的房间的吗?” 我说。

“不是打针,那你进老板的房间干嘛?” 我好奇的问。

“哦哦,我是进去帮他算账,” 小姐应了一声。

我底下头,继续埋头苦干。

读到圣经创世记第二章的时侯,突然想起我早上出门的时侯还没有跟妈说再见,马上打电话提醒她出门时记得锁门。

可铃声响了好久,都没人听,

终于做出了一个决定。我上网在脸书里把所有的存话记录,朋友聊天,以及跟我确认是朋友的人,一个一个删除了。有些是朋友,有些是假人,尤其是那些想要让我表扬她们成功了的,有老公,孩子,帮佣,大房屋的旧同学。干嘛通过这个方式来报告?直接打个电话来嘛!只是和我完全没有关系。已经过了大半辈子才有机会坐船?真的很讨厌!只能由这个方式绝交。

第8章

做了三个月,总算熬出头了,拿了薪金取了年货,马上交上辞职信,跟老板道别。老板也没说什么,只一直说 “谢谢”。我心里生气了,难到他是谢谢我的离开? 这到底是怎么一回事?是我主动要走的啊?

不管他,我慢慢的一步一步走到大门口,门已经是开了的。我暗自庆庆,没人阻拦我,那真是太好了!

我慢慢计算着,现在手里有了不少钱,应该可以买车了吧!

对,有了车才可以取老婆,但现在连一个爱人也没有,姐也没介绍,我还是自己上网找一个漂亮的才行。

回到家里,饭还没做,就马上打进手机,输入网页的名称:http://www.leegoldielocks..com

一打开,各总各样的美女呈现上来,只差一个,就是若景的名字。原来她不在里面。那到底她还有没有在别的地方出现?

走火入魔了,我拼命的找,拼命的追,网上总共二十多页,我终于看的不耐烦了,决定投降,把电脑关掉,再进厨房煮饭。

第9章

晚上,习惯性的祷告,双手合十,口中念念有词,念了马太福音再跳到以赛亚书。每章都不合我的胃口,我只能把祂搁在一边,继续念下去,念到累了,就躺在沙发上,昏昏入眠,然后,再同周公谈天。周公一见到我,立马和我握手,我笑了笑,赶紧找了一个位子坐下。

“你的近况如和?” 他问。

“没事,” “有没有朋友和你聊天?”

“家里只有蟑螂一只,一个人都没有,”

“那就跟蟑螂做朋友啦? 来,让我跟你们打交道,” 周公说。

我立刻跳了起来,从恶梦中醒来。只是空气太冷,没有冷汗可以抹。

过了一回,我决定进厨房看一下,察看到底里面有没有蟑螂。

真的给我找到!嘿,看你能跑到哪儿去? 我大声的骂它。

“救命啊!” 我听到它喊,

“你进来我家作什么?”

“没有啊·…. 老天爷 ….. 救命啊!” 只差没下跪。

“看我今天来收拾你,” 我大大声叫出来, 但手中没有物击品,只能暂停一会儿,到外面找一双凉鞋,终于给我找到了, “碰!” 的一声, 我大大力的打下去,看到那扁扁的肮脏东西,里面的液体溢出来,我才甘愿。

把凉鞋带进冲凉房洗一洗,顺便洗个澡,再躺回床上去睡觉。

老婆在旁边,完全没有察觉到我和周公的斗争。

呼呼,呼呼 ….. 我慢慢呼吸,直接进入梦乡。

第10章

今早,老板叫我进房间,关了房门,认真的对我说,“田镇,我不能够接受你的辞职信,” 这突如其来的转变,让我感到措手不及,接着,圣玛格丽雅的电话也来找我,铃声响的时候我不知道接还是不接,我让他响了几次,以为她就这样算了。谁知过了3秒,她又再打来。我忍无可忍,立即把手机关掉,再继续和身边的老板谈天。若景立马坐上来,在旁记录。

“她到底要什么?” 老板问若景。

若景在记录本上写了几个字,再递上去,老板用斜眼扫了一扫,脸色变了一变,我马上会意,站起来替他倒水,怕他分神,知道是因为被我的圣玛格丽雅吵到的。坐在隔壁的小老板也忙声说对不气,我瞪了他一眼,表示关注。是我的错,为啥要小老板认错?难到他要做我不成?

我俩同姓不同名,她是女人,我是男人。

生气,一进家门的时候马上找神投诉,可还没点及香的时候,却被风滅了。没法子,只能等到老婆回来的时候才对她发脾气。

一进门,我马上开口,“嘿,你到底姓刘还是姓罗?”

“怎么啦?” 老婆问。

“刚才有一个姓刘的女人找我,” “还说是你,”

“那你有没有跟她说我在外面?” 老婆问。

“我不让识她,当然没有必要给她打小报告,”

“其实我也有姓刘的亲戚,不过他们已离世,”

“多久以前?” 

“3年多吧?”

“为啥现在才来和我说?” 恼了,我声音变大了。

然后,“天色已晚,吃饭吧,” 我安慰老婆。

老婆想再开口,我给了她一个眼神,她马上会意,跑进房间去了。

在煮房做菜的时候,找不到菜刀。又恼了,一定是被刚才那个姓刘的女人骗了,现在连自己的家人也骗上来,到底这女的和她们有什么关系?气起来,随便捉了旁边的红萝卜啊葱啊等等之类的东西,把它切成碎片。再拾起来,把它们扔进拉圾桶,就跑出厨房睡觉,让火气平息。

连晚饭也不吃成了,回房间。

第二天早上起来,老婆递了一个苹果过来,又是红色的,我发火了,老夫老妻这么久了,她一向知道我是只吃青苹果的,难到连老婆也变成外人了?到底这姓刘的是有什么样的魔力?

我决定把这姓刘女子列入黑名单,继续万里追踪 。。。

第11章

早上,医院打电话给我,叫我今天到那儿上班,我点点头,唯命是从,老婆在旁一直瞪着我,我马上把点话挂了,立即拿着遥控,出到外面车内开锁,将那天我跟老板谈公事所发的文件拿出来,然后把它放在桌面上。

接着继续吃早点,是上海的点心,热腾腾的,非常合口。我让老婆看了我一个感激的眼神。

老婆也对我笑了一下,我们俩开开心心的走出大们,手牵手,把文件完全给忘了。

进了车,搭了油门,”老婆,你要去哪里啊?” 

无风不起浪,祸不会由空而降。

吃了早点,我再开车往医院的路走,走到一半,忽然想起文件的事,一面开车一面想着,是不是还在车上?

老婆也不管我,只顾着玩手机。

忽然,车停了,我看了油压表记,发现没油了,”这怎么可能?”

“明明是昨天才加了油的,难到又是那姓刘的在搞鬼?” 

这世界上跟本没有鬼的存在,七月都已经过了,大家都被送回地府了嘛!

这到底是怎么一回事?我愣了一会儿,确定是有人在搞鬼,不是姓刘的,就是旁边这个姓罗的。

一定是昨晚我在睡觉的时候她偷偷把文件藏起来。

这女人太可恶了! 怎么是这样子的呢?

让我看看,我到底在她身上花了多少钱?从结婚那天开始,到目前为止,总共十几年,一年365日,那至少3650天,还有润月怎么月似的,还有大礼 ….. 太多了….. 我跟本数不清。很烦,我把引擎盖门打开,让他里面的烟冒出来,再坐回车里,慢慢享受自然的空气。

忽然,手机声响起,我马上醒了过来,打开一看,原来是一位没有账号的电话,我不敢接,可现在老婆又不在场,问谁?没发子,我只好连手机也关掉,清新的空气马上被污染了。什么文件啊,约会都起不了作用了。

再把手机打开,里面的存话记录已完全删除,怎么是这样的呢?

应该是无线的作用了吧!对,这里是无人的地方,手机是不应该关掉的。

那打来的这个人是用什么方式联络我的?

好后悔,为什么刚才我不听?

为什么我一定要在老婆有在的地方,还要她批才敢接,她到底给我吃了什么药?难到她在我的食物里下毒不成?

我的车在哪儿?我已经忘了我根本是坐在车里面。

立马把车门关掉,脚搭加速器,把车开了,然后再出门把引擎盖门关回来,再从新开车,由来的路往反方向源着来的路回家。今天的事办不了。

看不到老婆的踪影,我只能自己做饭,垃圾桶里面还堆满了昨晚的剩饭,菜刀还摆在桌子上,只能慢慢的一面切菜一面想着那姓刘的。

第12章

到底这姓刘的是何许人?她到底有什么魔力? 为啥每次一想到她的时侯总是方寸大乱,无线啊,心情啊,什么系统, 都被她扰乱了。

“老公,我回来了,” 老婆一进门的时侯说,我闷不出声,懒得答她,家里这么小,难到她会找不到我?

我静静的慢慢的继续切菜,不小心,把旁边的碗弄掉了,跌落地上,只好蹲下来,再把它拾起来。用水把它清洗。一面洗一面诅咒那个姓刘的。

老婆没怎么注意到我的心情,根本没踏进厨房一步。

过了好像一世纪,终于听到电视的声音,女高音,好好听,我定了一下神来。

最后,炒了一盘青菜和一道牛肉,通通搬出去给老婆大人吃。我俩大口大口的吃,好像是拼了命似的。

可今天不像往常一样,老婆没有进去厨房洗碗,我没法子,只能自己做到完。

做了一个决定,必定跟这个姓刘的直接通话,听听她的声音是怎么样的。和她博斗一下,看看是她赢还是我输。到底她是何方神圣? 如果她是美女的话,我肯定放她一马。

“美人卷珠帘,深坐颦蛾眉,但见泪痕湿,不知心恨谁?”

我进房睡觉的时候,看到老婆坐在化妆台面前,哭得泪流满面,我一声也不响,只顾拿她已摆在床上的一套衣服,走进自己的房间睡觉。忠告自己最好把这姓刘的忘得一干二尽。

在网上整理文件的时候,看到卸磨杀卢四个字,马上意识到这姓刘的小姐是怎么一回事。她一定是在布置一个骗局,在玩弄我。难到打到太岁的头上来了?

不,这一定是事有溪跷,我根本没钱,她要骗的话,照理也应当找一个比较有钱的男人或女人,干嘛找一个像我这么一个刚起步的男生。

想来想去,即使找到她的电话,听到她的声音,也不是办法。只能坐在那儿发呆。

“怎么啦?这么晚还没睡?” 老婆问。

“哦,在等你先睡,” 我懒懒的应她。

“那我先睡吧!” 我回答。

“明天记得叫醒我,” 老婆一面盖被,一面说。

“你自己不会调闹钟的吗?” 我有点不耐烦的问。

“你还在生我的气?” 她问。

“没有,我只是想知道为啥你把我的文件收藏起来?”

“ 。。。” 没回应 。。。

第13章

今天开车总算顺利,没有太多的红绿灯,车上的百度助手是男的,嘿!我明明昨天听到的是女声,怎么现在变成是男的?

这到底是怎么一回事? 

马上忘右边一看,原来旁边坐着一个女人,头发长长的,我马上开口, “刘小姐你好!” 她没回应,我恼了,她到底为什么这样没礼貌? 连个招呼也不打? 

哦哦,我了解了, 一定是那百度里面的声音,现在现形在我的人间。我无奈的笑一笑, 决定摸摸我自己的手,捏了两下,好像有肉,那我还是人,没被那女鬼拉进阴间。

对,我到现在还没给那位圣玛格丽雅回电,她可能以为我不要接她的生意,那就太糟糕了。赶紧 …. 车水马龙 …. 到底….. 到底他是怎么一回事? 

“向前开,直走,向右转,….. ?” 好稳定的声音。

我慢慢的向前走,把这个害我健忘的刘小姐给忘了。

下次她如果再打来的话,我马上把她的电话收藏起来,加入帐户,把她改名为害人精。

到了医院,看到若景就站在中央,我没法子,只好跑进廁所去躲,然后看着手表数分秒,算到 20 分的时候,听到有人进来,隔壁把门关上,我才安心把头探出来,再轻声的以小步走出去。

过了没多久,大老板终于出现了,我对他笑了笑,他点头表示会意。陈秘书和我马上回到我们本来的位子上,埋头记录。

若景也在这个时间消失了。

我从不敢把手机关掉,生怕老婆有急事打来。家里的俩老,一家大小的锁锁碎碎的事务,一惯都是她打里的。

好不容易等到下班,我这才记起圣玛格丽雅,便在车上回她。

坐进车里, “先生,你有什么特别的需求吗?” 有个声音在问。

我还没开汽车发动机,这肯定不是百度的声音。那还有谁在车上?

难到她看得到我,我看不到她?

我愣了一下,然后再拨电给圣玛格丽雅,可这回没人接。

第14章

越想越生气,我这回是中邪了,怎么连我最信任的神仙美人也不接我的电话? 难道她是故意的?

再打多一回,这次,肯定她会接。要不然,明天到她家找她也行。

可是,我连她的地址也不知道,那时候在观音庙认识她的时候,她只给了我这个手机号码,我曾经打过给她,她也接过。不可能她连夜失踪。除非,除非 ….. 她嫁人了?

那天她打给我的时候,肯定是来通告我,说她要结婚了。还好我没接,要不然的话,她请喜酒,肯定要我出个大红包。我不是没钱,只是我不喜欢无端端破费,毕竟我俩只通过两次电话,她连我喜欢什么样的颜色也不知道。对了,那天我们初次见面的时候,她是穿着深蓝色的,而我自己穿什么我都完全不记得了。

晚上回家的时候,我大口大口的扒饭,然后抛下碗碟,让老婆大人解决,老婆今晚也蛮听话的。

进了房间,看到桌上摆了一本笔记,我翻开来看,只看见一个 “爱” 字。

神仙美女的电话,我已熟记在心,91103822。地区在河北。

“铃,铃,铃,铃,铃,” 总共 5 次,都没人接,我只好放弃。

晚上,刚盖好被子,那姓刘的又再打来,走到这里,我已经记得她的电话号码了。

75981246 的,我不可以接,但 91103822 的,我又打不通,那我还是别理这俩个女人好了,说不定,是七月的女鬼。

伸手往老婆身上捏一捏,谢天谢地,她还是人。

照样,我决定把双手合十,双盘,然后再用最诚虔的声音,向神展开一系列的要求 。。。。

第15章

今早,我又跟老婆吵架了。

“为啥你不和我一起上观音庙?” 若景大大声的骂我。

我终于忍不住了, 决定一次过,把话全部说完 — “其实,我不是一个无神论者,只是我有我的时间表,我知道我应该什么时候祷告,什么时候不应该,祷告也应该有分寸,不必勉强自己,如果上帝要招你,祂自然而然的会找你,如果每天去吵祂的话,祂也会感到不耐烦。这是我本人的看法。” 我终于向若景坦白了。

“那天我们在跟老板开会的时候,是谁打给你?” 她还记得。

“这是我的私事,你管得着!” 我大声的回答。

然后我再问, “你自己呢? 为啥你进老板的房间?”

“帮他算账啊,难到还有什么?” 若景也大声的喊。

这回田镇也发火了, “你根本是在无理取闹!!”

“老实说,我忍你这个观音已经忍了好久了,” 若景骂。

“你要名字是吗? 我给你,她叫圣母。” 

“圣母不是叫做 Mary 的吗?”

“对啊,我喊她做圣玛格丽雅,可外面的人称她为 Mary,”

“还有,老婆,你为啥喊她做观音?”

“我们这里只拜观音。” 若景斩钉截铁的说。

田镇说到这里,马上冲回房间,立即接听那正在响着的电话。

“Hello Mary 你好! ” 他忘了刚才还是在跟若景吵架。

“喂,喂,我的名字是圣玛格丽雅, 不是 Mary, ”

“好,好,都依你的,” 田镇说。

“我就在外面,能出来和我一起吃饭吗?”

田镇头也不回,反正厨房已经不能用了,他只能和心上人吃晚饭。

第16章

正月初一,男人把 Margaret 刘艳梅,带回家,隆重介绍给父母认识,对他们说, “这个总算合格吧!”

老爸陈叔转头对着老妈子说, “这还不是当年我们要他娶的那个?!!!”

A Liar And A Witness

He is sitting on my bench …..

Chapter 1

We are born with a set of parents, a set of relatives. We can’t pick our parents and certainly not our siblings. Neither can we pick our cousins since our parents do not pick their siblings. But no one can harm you except yourself, and of course your trusted friend. 

Robert lives in an old European house with an attic. The house is three storeys, and he often wonders into the kitchen late into night to steal a glass of whisky or two. Cherie his wife will clean up after he has gone back to sleep.

The next day he wakes up sober without a clue as to how many glasses of whisky he has taken, and whom he has spoken to when he was in the kitchen. 

As he took the car out for a breeze and coasted the lanes before bringing it home and parking it at the garage, he went in through the backdoor to the kitchen. Once inside, he surveyed the place and found that he had a new visitor. He took out his slippers and almost used his bare hands to hit at it when it slithered away. And then just before he could kill the lizard, a woman pushed open the door. 

She was not supposed to come. It was too late in the evening, and Robert had already closed shop for the day. 

She followed me in the car ride. Robert thought to himself.

Flabbergasted, Robert dropped his slippers on the floor, and he gave the woman a wry smile.

“Err … I am afraid we are closed.” Robert said.

“There is nothing to be afraid of,” the lady began, “I merely wanted a cup of coffee,”

“Not at this time of the night, liz,” Robert almost said lizard, then, “Madam, anyway we don’t serve coffee,” he said. He was actually afraid that the stranger would linger on for an extended period of time. Cherie still has to mop the floor, after cleaning the tables.

And the used glasses were still in the sink.

Robert moved to the wall, automatically he turned on the lights, and then he gave Robert time to sit down. 

Then Robert went to the fridge and asked, “Orange or Perrier?” 

“Orange,” the stranger replied. 

“Why not Perrier?” Robert asked.

“Because I wanted sweet,” the lady said.

“Ice?” Robert asked again.

The woman hesitated, and then she said, “two cubes,”

Obediently Robert used the tongs to pick up the remaining two nicely formed cubes, and then he brought the ice tray to the sink, adding more water to refill. 

The water flowed without them speaking a word to each other, and then Robert became less irritated.

Three minutes later the woman opened his mouth, “why are you living alone?”

“Who said I was alone?” Robert told her. And then, “how long have you been stalking me?”

“Hey man! This is the first time I am seeing you, stalking? This seems outrages!” But then she added, “not long,” he said, “long enough to see that you sleep on a single bed,”

“Oh, you have supersonic eyes,” Robert said, the lights shinning on his glass. 

She must have gone to the other parts of the house before she came into the kitchen. Robert thought to himself.

Robert knew that he had to entertain the woman, since he had forgotten to lock the back door.

“Why did you follow me?” he asked.

The woman stood up, took another sip of the orange juice, then she walked to the mirror. 

“Don’t you want to know my name?” she said, before taking two steps away. And then, “I think you can’t remember me,” now she turned to look at Robert.

“Of course I can’t remember. I have never met you in my entire life,” Robert retorted. He disliked people claiming to have met him when in fact they had no idea whom they were.

The woman took three steps; this time she was closer.

“It took me four years to come out of prison,” she said.

Automatically Robert asked, “With or without good behaviour?” 

“It doesn’t matter, the important thing is, I am out now,” the woman said.

“And you have come here to take your revenge. What gave you the courage to?” Robert began.

“You know, … “the woman continued, standing tall in front of Robert.

“What?” Robert stood up as well. 

Chapter 2

“By the way, how did you end up in prison?” Robert became curious with her story.

The woman suddenly turned violent. She smashed the whisky glass onto the floor, spilling the orange liquid on the carpet.

Cherie was upstairs. She heard and she came down.

“Let me clean this up for you,” hurriedly she took the vacuum cleaner out and dragged it around the wet spots, in an attempt to suck up all the splintered pieces.

And then Robert turned to the woman again.

“What is her name?” the lady asked, pointing to his wife.

“My wife? I can’t remember,” Robert at once became protective over his wife.

“Ok, then what is the name of your helper?” the woman changed Cherie’s status.

Currently, Cherie has already finished cleaning the spot. 

And for a while the three of them just stood there in a triangle without saying a word. Cherie holding the vacuum cleaner.

Chapter 3

Robert was told that he was able to find cure by going to the St. Peter’s Church in Malaysia. There was a pastor there who would be able to help him. Before he left, the tour guide told him that the sanctuary was not visible from the main road. He would have to search for it after he has reached the sign board which says, “My Sanctuary”.

Therefore, when he saw the board, he told the bus driver to stop and then as the bus cruised away, he walked until he saw a building. It did not have a cross on top of the building, He wondered if it were a church. And then he followed the trail of the footsteps on the muddy path and paused before he stepped into the large brick house.

It had been raining with no end in sight, and the bench in the flat garden had patches of water. Robert used his shirt to wipe it off before he sat down. 

There was a bottle of whisky on the floor by the foot, and he grabbed at it, then found that the bottle was empty. 

He took it as a hint to go into the sanctuary to pray without further delay.

But he was still resistant to the idea of stepping into a church. So that he clasped his hands together and started to pray there and then. No one was around. Robert told himself that he mustn’t stop until someone came to him. It was a crazy idea. On a quiet evening like this without a soul, who would come?

Even if they had seen him, they might not talk to him, as he was a stranger to the land.

After a few minutes when he had exhausted all conversations with the Almighty, he felt no choice but to enter the sanctuary.

The moment he sat down, a woman came in from the exit to the pew and stopped him from moving further left. And then subsequently another couple came in from the right side to stop him from walking out. 

When he was a little bored, he started talking to the lady on the left. 

“Have you had your breakfast?” he asked.

“Why, no!” Looking horrified, she replied, “you are not supposed to eat before you come.”

“May I have your name please,” Robert asked. He was a stranger, and he wanted to make some friends. This will help him decide how long he would stay here. He has sufficient funds to last him for another three weeks. If he can’t get a companion, he would move on to another town.

“You know, I am here for the first time,” Robert ventured, “you are pretty …

“We cannot afford to be draconian,” she began. 

“Cruel? In what way am I cruel?” he asked. 

“You will know what I mean at the end of your stay,” she replied whilst taking her Rosary out.

“Nice beads you have there,” he attempted further conversation, he wanted to get to know her.

“I am grieved that you have so little confidence in me,” she replied.

That put Robert off guard and scared him out of his wits. “This statement came out from nowhere. Is she sane?” he questioned.

“Stop flaring up at me,” she turned to look at him.

“Oh, I think it’s the fan, it’s blowing in your direction,” he replied. Something must be wrong with her. He thought. He decided to give her time to correct herself.

“Now that I have got your attention, won’t you send me home after the service?” she decided to offer him a chance to her address.

“Any parents?” he asked. He wanted to know what her liability was, the fact that she was already a resident in this town is an asset.

“No, I have a mom, and she has already found her abode in heaven,” the lady shredded a tear.

“And that’s why you are here?” he continued with the conversation.

“Err … yes, and to make some new friends … “ she said softly.

“Can I be your friend?” immediately he followed suit.

“Dong! Dong! Dong!” Suddenly the church bell rang.

“Fire!!!” Someone shouted, and all the parishioners rushed out of their pews and went to the open ground, before falling down the steps. Some instead chose to fall onto the ground and started to pray.

Robert grabbed the lady by the hand and they too followed the masses and finally as they left the compound, he turned to look at her. 

It was a different woman! 

He felt let down. He wanted the more pretty lady but instead he got an older woman. Frustrated, he asked the new lady for her name. 

“Oh, you can call me Mary,” she said.

“Mary, Mary what?” he asked.

“Mary. Just Mary,” she replied.

“Oh my God!” he said, “I knew a Mary Sarah before,” he carried on, “she was my helper,” confident that no one knew that he took her cheque.

“I am not she, you know right?” this Mary said. 

“But you have the same name,” he reminiscent.

“But this time you are my helper,” woman responded, “you helped me out of the church,” “in other words, you saved my life,” and then she pulled his hand up to her chin and she started to kiss his hand.

“Whoa, whoa,” he pulled his hand away, angry that this was not the first woman. And then a car pulled up in front of them. The driver poked his head out, 

“Back to the town?” he asked.

“Yes, of course,” Mary said. Reluctantly Robert followed her on what seemed to be the only available cause of action.

After what seemed to be eternity, with his mind still thinking of whether he would want to spend more money on this town before he headed for home.

Home is still the best place to be in …. he thought to myself before he fell asleep in the car.

Chapter 4

Robert Wong is a contractor. And he worked as a general contractor. His work is to do carpentry works according to the designs and specifications of clients who already have a design in mind. He is not an architect, and he only copied, as far as he could. He has very little formal education and as a matter of fact only completed high school. He finds it hard to remember names and faces of people he has met. But give him a piece of wood, and he would be able to tell you whether it’s teak, oak, maple, pine, or walnut. He is also familiar with their unique characteristics and which tree it fell from.

As a result, he saw people in shades of brown, not their names. Like now, he just couldn’t remember if the lady who sat with him in the car was Mary Sarah, Jane, Joan, or Joyce. And he was not asking her because he knew that it would have been rude. That would also expose his ignorance since he has been acquainted with her for at least a day by now. 

But Robert also has a bad habit, which is that he can’t help noticing things that are left unattended in other people’s homes, much as he does not want to pry into their affairs.

He has seen a couple’s quarrel written all over the kitchen table, and he has seen the diary of a few heart-broken ladies on their dressing table when he was fixing a drawer or two for them.

But recently, he has taken his habit to greater heights. He found a cheque written for three hundred and sixty-seven thousand dollars. If it were only for three hundred and sixty-seven dollars, he would have just ignored it, and probably left it behind in a prominent place to remind the owner to take it back. To his delight, the cheque, to a payee named “Mary Sarah Chan” was uncrossed. I am sure that you would agree with me that the opportunity was just too good for him to miss. Robert immediately removed it from his view and placed it inside his pocket. After that, without a moment’s delay, he got into his car and drove straight to the nearest Bull Bankand dropped the piece of paper into the cheque deposit box, not forgetting to write his own name and account number on the back. Since in any case, it could be paid to anyone who found it. 

After that he took out his car and drove straight out of town. The fact that he lived alone and has no close relatives made it easier for leaving.

And that is why Robert has found himself here, now, in this town. With that amount, he could support himself for at least three years without doing a spot of work. Mind you, a contractor’s job is not always rewarding. You don’t get paid on time, and you often have to make several alterations to your original completed works before the client would call it a day.

So, Robert is here now. With this lady by the name of Mary.

Now that you know why he is here, I would like to consult you. What if the bank found out that the bank account and telephone number written by him was a fraud, and that the intended recipient was actually Mary Sarah Chan? Although, technically speaking, an uncrossed cheque could be paid into anyone in possession of it.

Chapter 5

A hand nudged at Robert, and at the same time he heard a man shouting, “you can go now.”

He used his will power to pry open his eye lids and he saw a woman’s face.

And then this time to his surprise he saw the first prettier lady. She was wearing a bright lipstick different from the plain contour that he saw earlier on. He quickly grabbed hold of her, and he said, “I want to follow you home,” 

Instead of which she replied, “sir, you could pay the driver,” 

Still half asleep, Robert forgot where he left his money. He used his hand to dig into one of his pockets, and he took out several pieces of notes and handed it to the lady. She took it at once, using her thumb and forefinger to shuffle the notes like the way the money changer count money. 

“Not enough?” he asked, looking for approval. 

“You need to give another two pieces,” she said, holding up two fingers.

“I … err … I don’t have so much …. “, he spoke, only loud enough for himself to hear.

“I saw your wallet just now, you have enough,” she emphasised.

“Then why didn’t you take it from my wallet?” he became annoyed. Then I won’t even know. He thought to himself.

Without another word, he handed her his pouch. The woman flipped open the worn-out leather and slipped her hand into the compartments. She fiddled at them for a while, and then she took out a pile of ten-dollar notes.

“Is this all you have?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, “there is also a credit card,” 

“Oh this, you mean?” she flashed a blue card at him. 

He took a look at it, “yeah I think so,” and then he got up from the slumber position. 

She turned to the bus driver, and she gave him the notes, after taking out a stack for herself.

This time he was amiable to following her home. 

“Where do you live?” he asked.

“Yes, where we came from,” she looked straight at him.

“Then why are we here?” he became angry.

“There was a fire, remember?” she refreshed his memory.

“Oh, yes, I forgot,” eager to know if the church was alright.

“Shall we go back there again?” he asked.

“Of course! But we have to discharge this driver first,” this lady Mary said.

“But … I thought you said …” he was still concerned.

“The fire was just an emergency response exercise; we have it all the time.” Lady Mary replied.

Throughout, she wore the same expression as though she was completely innocent of extortion. Or maybe it was just a mild form of coercion.

Satisfied, he slumped back onto the couch, his mind thinking of where he could have a coffee, his brains still in sleep mode. 

What would they do if they found out?

“Of course, the car will stop at my house, but I warn you first, it’s very small, and I have an old woman in the house, she is my late mother,”

“Late mother?” Robert became very curious.

“Yes, she has dementia, she can’t remember that I am her daughter, she is as good as dead.”

“Oh,” he replied, “that’s why you call her late,”

“And how old is she?” he wanted to know if she was expiring soon.

“It depends on ….” she murmured.

“Depends on what?” Robert became fearful, afraid that he might be detained by the old woman whom he was going to meet. He has more urgent business to attend to. And he has no intention of entering into a permanent relationship with this Mary or whatever her name was.

The car cruised for what seemed to be an inordinate amount of time and then suddenly it pulled up by the side of a stall set up haphazardly. An old man with a long beard and a straw hat was seen pouring water into several cups at the same time. 

“I need a coffee!” he shouted excitedly, “could you ….” his hands pointing at the stall outside his window. He swore he could have smelled the strong Arabia aroma.

“Sure, that will be fifty dollars”.

“That must have been the most expensive coffee I have tasted,” Robert thought to himself, before digging into his wallet preparing to give the lady Mary more money.

His slap phone vibrated in his pocket; he picked it up to see who it was. Then he put it back in his pocket.

“Your wife from home?” she asked.

“No, my cousin,” he said.

“Huh? Cousin calling from home to check if you were, ok?” she sneered.

Robert looked at her and asked, “How about you? You have a sister or at least a cousin?” 

“Nope, mine died a long time ago,” she replied, with a kind of nostalgia on her face.

“Oh,” he said, “I am sorry,” and then he added, “brother or sister?” 

“No need to be sorry,” she replied, “they are of not much use to me anyway, brother!”

“I find mine a nuisance too,” he continued, wished she hadn’t call me brother. I was supposed to be her boyfriend now.

Chapter 6

“Mother, I have brought Brother Robert to see you,” Mary announced the moment she entered the house.

“So, you have finally come?” the frail old lady looked at Robert without a blink.

I wasn’t sure that there a plot to bring me here.

He remained calm, “I could just leave by the next bus,” he told himself.

But since he was here, he told himself he should find out how he could make use of this situation, the purpose being to find a bank nearby where he could encash the cheque. He knew that the Bull Bank also has a branch in this town.

And then he saw the way Mary dissembled herself when she went into the house, and the speed with which she put her act into action. She took her shoes off, carefully slipping them into a shelved cabinet by the side of the front door, then she took off her straw bag and hung it on the clothes hanger just by the side on the left. Couldn’t say he wasn’t impressed with her.

Chapter 7

Robert slept well on the first night of his arrival, as he was tired out throughout the day. But he woke up with a recurring question:

“Is this Mary asking me to finish her mother off?” 

Then it took him quite a while to recall that the recipient of the cheque was Mary Sarah Chan, and that this Mary is just Mary.

Chapter 8

Robert was sure it wasn’t the food. But in the middle of the night, he felt really thirsty. It was not the ordinary kind of thirst, but that of a very dry mouth, and he became longing for a drink, not just a drink but an iced cold drink. 

He needed to go down and get some water, he told himself. But then he would wake up the rest in the house. The kitchen was below on the ground floor, and the old lady lived in the maisonette. Mary was just next door. It was a wooden floor, and it creaked a little if you apply too much force when you walked. 

It was pitch dark as he opened the door. No light coming from the other parts of the house. And he almost tripped over a rug carelessly thrown at the staircase landing. One step at a time, he took his steps slowly holding onto the railings. 

Then suddenly he heard a click sound. The old lady’s bedroom door opened, and she peeped at him from the narrow slit of the ajar door. 

“You are awake?” she said, not suspecting anything.

“Yes,” I was hoping that she didn’t know that it was me, the uninvited guest.

“You need to use the toilet?” she queried. 

“Err …. yes …. don’t worry I know where it is,” he didn’t want to prolong the conversation. All he needed was a glass of water. A tall glass of water.

“I think Mary can get it for you, let me call for her ….” she offered. 

“Oh no, I can manage it myself,” the last thing he wanted to do was to alarm another person. He was sure that he could do this himself. Besides, he was thinking of how he could run away from Mary when the sun comes up tomorrow. He really didn’t like what she was putting him up to, judging by the looks of it. He didn’t want to remain here for longer than necessary; he wanted to encash the money he has in the bank account. 

Chapter 9

This was the first time Robert has entered the kitchen. It was pitch dark. He could not see the stove. He couldn’t even see how many stools there were for the kitchen island. But he could see the fridge. It was white, like all fridges are, so that it stood out. Tentatively he walked towards it. 

By habit he pulled the fridge door open. And then he saw nothing except several bottles of pills in different sizes. Out of curiosity he picked up one bottle and it read, “Poison – Keep Away from Children”. 

This must be her medicine for the dementia, he thought to myself.

Then he saw that there was a carton of orange juice by the side door. Florida Orange! Robert grabbed at it and started looking for a glass. Thank God for these small mercies! Immediately he poured the whole carton down his throat without even the need for a glass. Then when he saw a glass on top of the cabinet, he used it and drank water from the tap. 

He wasn’t surprised that no one saw him, since everyone in the house was supposed to be asleep now, including the dog Vodka. The old lady he thought she must have gotten back to bed.

And then he heard a door close. And a woman saying, “I don’t want.” 

Too ashamed by his behaviour he quickly walked out of the kitchen and promptly went back to his bedroom. This time he already knew the way. 

Back in the safe confines of his own room, he pondered on his encounter with the old lady. She had seen him, but he was only going down to get some water, no offence committed. So that there was no harm done. Even if she tells Mary about it tomorrow it was just to fulfil a basic need. He wasn’t a thief here although he has taken some money from his client. 

Has she discovered that her cheque was gone? Again, he asked himself this question. 

Chapter 10

The morning finally came after a long night. Robert couldn’t sleep at all as he was worrying about the status of the cheque. And he won’t know unless he has gone to the bank. This time he was thirsty for a good cup of hot coffee. He freshened himself up and he went straight down to the dining hall without much delay. 

The weather was slightly chilly this morning, and Robert had put on a light jacket. The jacket was bought at a night market and a steal, and he was hoping that it would impress the ladies. Proudly, he took his steps outside the small bedroom, and he walked down to the main hall. This was where he first came in. There was no one in sight. Surprised, he walked around to the backyard where the dog Vodka was usually lying. No one.

This was strange! 

As Robert stepped into the kitchen, he found two men. One was standing and the other was sitting on the stool in the middle. 

“So, there is only one stool for the island,” he thought to himself.

“Where were you last night?” the standing man asked.

“I was here. Where else could I have been? I just woke up from a bed upstairs,” he replied.

“And who was the person you went to bed with?” he followed suit.

“I myself, of course,” a bliss to what went on downstairs, he said.

“Did you talk to a lady after you went to your bedroom? Or did she anytime come up to talk to you?” the man asked again.

The questions were persistent and fierce, so that he got a little annoyed.

“Why are you asking so many questions?” he said, “in the first place I don’t know who you are,” Robert said.

“Ok, then let me inform you,” the man smiled, looking slightly pleased with himself, 

“I am the inspector in charge of this residential area, and we have found the body of a lady who has been identified by the neighbours as living in this house. You got this clear?”

“Oh my God! She is dead?!” Robert exclaimed.

Just when I thought I could use her as a cache of the holder of the cheque Mary!

“We are not sure of how many people are living in this house as of now, but you are the last guest the ladies received, so we have to keep you here for more information,” the man said. 

“Wait! Who are you? Show me your ID, I am not obliged to tell you so many things,” Robert became adamant, when he was actually a fugitive of another potential crime. 

“Fine, if that’s what you want,” by now the man was fairly acquainted with him.

He took out a pass from his breast pocket and he flashed it in front of him. Robert only managed to see the words: Inspector Morris.

“What is your full name?” It is Robert’s habit to remember full names.

“Let me have your passport first, then I can give you all my details,” Inspector Morris said.

He then signalled to his other friend, who had been ignored all this while, “follow him upstairs.”

Frustrated that his morning routine had been disrupted, as Robert always has a cup of coffee before he begins the day, he turned back and put his right foot on the wooden and squeaky staircase. And before he moved up, he tried his luck,

“Could I go to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee first?”

“No, you may not, after you have given us what we want first,” the inspector was firm. As he was speaking, his friend came nearer, giving him no space to manoeuvre. The left side of his body was touching the edge of the wall.

Chapter 11

Let me describe the upstairs to you now, where Robert slept the night before.

The first thing you notice is that the room was clearly wallpapered because you could see the paper peeling off. 

And then as you look up, you could see the fan hanging from a cracked ceiling. Robert did turn on the fan for a while last night but switched it off because it swirled at such a great momentum that he thought it might fall off if he let it rotate any longer.

A large double bed occupied the entire room, and all of his clothes were oozing out from the small suitcase that was lying on the bed. Apart from that there was a lamp on the bay window behind the bed which could not be turned on because there was no bulb in it. He did wonder if it was working.

He tried his luck again, “It’s too dark, could I turn on the lights first?”, this was an attempt to send the second man elsewhere to get the bulb. 

“No, I am not going anywhere,” the friend was just as firm as inspector Morris.

“I don’t think I brought my passport with me,” Robert said.

“Then how did you come here?” he asked, a little unsure.

“I came by bus, I live in this town,” Robert replied.

“Could I search your suitcase?” the friend decided to help himself.

“Wait!” he shouted, “Do you have a search warrant?” 

The friend stopped in his track, and then he turned to him, “Ok, let us go downstairs and see Morris,”

“Why didn’t you carry your passport with you?” Inspector Morris asked.

“My passport was due to expire, and I had sent it into the immigration department for renewal,” he replied.

“Ok, let me be frank with you,” Morris looked him in the eye. 

“A woman living in this house was found to be dead at 7:00 a.m. this morning. Her symptom was that of an induced poisoning, and we are not sure whether she committed suicide or if anyone else induced her to swallow some poison.” 

That bottle “Poison – Keep Away from Children”!!!

At once Robert asked, “Do you know the name of the poison?”

“No, not yet, we are trying to find the source of the poison,” Morris said.

Robert was about to move to the fridge to open it to see if the dammed bottle was still inside. But common sense told him not to reveal the fact that he saw it last night. In case they said he used it to poison the victim.

“Why don’t you just cooperate with us?” Morris looked him in the eye.

“What do you mean, inspector?” he was sure that he was innocent of the crime, assuming that it wasn’t suicide.

He couldn’t have known that I came down to the kitchen last night.

“I had done nothing …. I was here only just a day ago …. as you can see, my suitcase is still unpacked,” he defended himself.

“We don’t know, no one here knows how long you have actually known the victim,” Morris replied, and then,

“Let me be outright with you now. My name is Ryan, Ryan Morris, an inspector at the Salaita Police Station. Whether you are a witness or the potential killer, we don’t know yet. The victim is dead. But we need to put you as a suspect, and at the very least, to stand as a witness. Meanwhile as investigations are on-going, you have the right to remain silent,” Morris fished out a pair of handcuffs. 

With that, the friend came forward, grabbed one of his wrists and then he felt a ring, together his other hand was placed in a pair of metal rings. He heard the click sound and the keys turning. That was it! 

He was then ushered by the two men out of the house. Outside a police car was waiting and a driver was waiting to start the car. Only now then he realised that there were three men in this mission. 

“Wait! I don’t even kill spiders,” he started to panic ….

The two officers ignored him and continued to lead him into the car.

Chapter 12

In the cell. His thoughts racing …. 

Are they applying the principle “All men presumed guilty unless proven innocent” on me?

By now he couldn’t remember inspector Ryan Morris’s face. They were all in police uniform.

“Why did you kill the deceased?

….

“Why did you kill Mary?

….

“I have the right to remain silent,” he spoke.

“Good, you are talking now,” “How long have you known the deceased?”

“I only met her a day ago … the day before I woke up and saw you,”

“Good, an acquaintance, no motive,” officer replied.

“I don’t even know her real name,” he said.

“You often follow unknown women home? What were you looking for? Sex?” officer asked.

“Of course not, I knew that she was a decent woman,” he said.

“But then you said you just knew her? How could you have known?” “After all, she brought you home just after having met you … in the church did you say?”

“I can’t remember,” he answered.

“Olivia said she saw you in the church with her,” the officer’s eyes glued to his face.

“You followed her home, and when she refused to sleep with you, you killed her,” officer said.

“Did Olivia ask you to do it on your bed or her bed?” another question.

“Olivia? Who is Olivia?” again he asked.

“Answer me. Hers or yours?” officer’s voice was getting louder.

Oh, her name was Olivia not Mary.

“Err, I wanted to do it on her bed, but she refused,” Robert wanted to give him a story to lead him to an illogical conclusion.

“That meant that you did try, and when she refused to comply, you strangled her,” officer was insistent.

“Hey, I thought you said she died of poison,” Robert was alert again.

“No, the cause of death is still under investigation,” officer said.

“Ok, she did tell me that her name was Mary, I didn’t know that she was actually Olivia,” he said.

Officer threw a red book at him, “this your passport?” 

He picked it up, “no,” he said. 

“Why?” officer asked.

“I can’t remember my name,” he looked at it again. He was afraid that they might have found the cheque and his bank account.

“Ok, file it under unknown,” officer said.

“I am innocent!” He declared.

“Without your passport, we don’t know your identity, so we would have to keep you here for further investigations. You might be released once we have found the real killer.” Officer was reassuring.

“You mean I am not the real killer?” Robert continued with the conversation in his thoughts ….

Chapter 13

“I am not here to offer romance,” first things the officer who came in said.

“Then why are you here for?” Robert asked him.

“How much did you take from her?” officer asked.

“How much! I didn’t take any money from the house!” Robert immediately replied.

“So, when you found that they had nothing to offer you, you got angry and killed her,” officer said.

“Who died? May I know?” he was genuinely curious now.

“Come on, don’t play a fool with me, surely you know who you killed,” the man said. He was clean shaven and not the same as anyone whom Robert had seen earlier on. 

“So, was it the young one or the old one?” Robert asked.

The officer wasn’t provoked, “you tell me, mate,”

“Err, let me guess … the young one,” Robert said, thinking to himself, “since they said that I had slept with the victim, surely, they must know that it would have been the younger woman that I slept with. No one in their right mind would sleep with a demented old woman.”

“How did she die? May I know?” Robert decided it was time he cross-examined the officer.

With this, the officer stood up and walked out of the room.

And Robert decided to fall asleep on the hard and thin mattress again.

Before he fell asleep, all he could say to himself was, you have the right to remain silent.

He remembered the song he used to play during Christmas – “Silent Night”. But it wasn’t winter and for once he realised that there was no chimney for Santa to climb in to give him what he wished.

Chapter 14

The officers brought him out again.

This time the driver was wearing a pair of oversized sunglasses.

His mind drifted away as he was being ignored. But at the centre of his focus, he was always concerned about the cheque. By now he has forgotten exactly how much it was. The police have a way of erasing memories. 

The car stopped at a large brick building, and he recognised it as the church which he saw as “My Sanctuary”. No fire has swept the place. In fact, it looked exactly as when he first saw it.

“So, you are right, there was no fire,” he said, thinking that Mary was still with him.

“What fire?” one of the three scoffed at him. 

“I was there!!” Robert exclaimed, he wanted to back track.

“No. You were not,” another man replied.

“Hey! You can ask Mary,” Robert exclaimed.

“No, her name is Mary Sarah Chan,” now the third one was speaking.

“Huh?” he was confused.

“Mary Sarah Chan is her full name.” Officer said again.

OMG!!! Robert almost fainted. His breathing became short, and his heart started to pump rapidly. If you read his pulse now, it was at least 135 BPM ….

…. So, she followed me all these whiles! She must have known that I took her cheque and decided to meet me at “The Sanctuary”. But why didn’t the woman just ask me for the cheque all the while? Why did she bring me home and put me to all the drama? If I stole from her, why would she even want me to meet her mother???

He found no logical answer to this.

“Ok, they haven’t found my passport, so they didn’t know my identity. And that’s why they are not talking to me.” Robert thought to himself.

He sat in silence in the car and told himself he must find out who died by the end of the entire episode.

He couldn’t remember what he did for the rest of the journey until he saw the prison cell again. This time another person was inside. He wanted to open his mouth and ask the guy who brought him here, and why it wasn’t empty. 

But the thin figure was sleeping, so he decided not to wake him up.

To his surprise he was given salmon for dinner, the fish was fresh but there were no condiments. He refused to touch the coffee because he did not want to stay awake, for fear of further questioning. He won’t call this cross-examination because this was not a court of law.

After food, he went back to bed and lie down hoping to fall asleep. Under the circumstances, the best thing to do was to allow time to pass, until they have established his identity, which would have been evident in his missing passport. He tried to recall where he had hidden it, but he couldn’t remember. The earlier journey in the car with the police had made him forget things.

He started to think of Mary again. Is she really dead? Or was it her mother that died? And who was Olivia? And then he realised that he had forgotten to find out the name of the old lady before he met with the police. When he was with her he had assumed that since she suffered from dementia, she would have forgotten her own name. 

Chapter 15

The person who shared the same cell with Robert was a young man whom he guessed was about twenty-five. By now he realised that they had put him in another cell. This time the beds were parallel with the door rather than facing it. 

He decided to engage in conversation with the young man. He got up from his own bed and went up to his.

“How did you come in?” he asked. 

“How did you come in?” the young man returned.

Selfish with his memories Robert chose not to share them. So instead of carrying on with the thread, he said, “Oh, I can’t remember,”

The young man gave him a petulant toss of the head and then went back to a horizontal position.

Deflated, Robert went back to his own bed and started to talk to himself, “are they framing me because I stole the cheque?” and then, “is Mary really dead?” “Surely the old lady could stand as my witness and confirm that I didn’t kill Mary.”

But fact was that no one heard the conversation when he went down to the kitchen on that fateful night. Or was Mary inside the room as well?

The door opened, and like a saviour a man walked in.

“Olivia said that she was with you on the night that she was killed,” the man said.

Hold it! How could this happen?! Robert thought they said that Olivia was dead, how could she speak? He jumped at the inconsistencies.

“So now who is dead???” He was getting inflamed.

“Surely you must know who you killed?” officer did not give in.

“It was dark, and there were no lights, I saw a lady at the maisonette, and I didn’t know if she were the young or the old,” he began to recall.

“I see, so it was in her room, not yours,” officer said.

“NO! I did not sleep with Mary!” He raised his voice.

“Calm down, David,” the man said.

Ok, they must have found my passport now. But my name was Robert not David!

“Let them think of me as David, I am in custody now. At least they haven’t found my account in Bull Bank,” he told himself. Robert looked at the tag on his wrist. It was a long number 12-digit number.

The man in plain clothes walked out again, without leaving Robert with a clue as to how his name could be changed from Robert to David.

Could they have altered my identity in the Immigration Department?

“Oh yeah, I did tell them that I had sent my passport in to the immigration for processing.” Robert recalled.

“There seemed nothing else to do except to memorise the number on his wrist. Which language shall I use?” He said to himself. Unsure, he tried to talk to the young man next to him again. But he remained unfriendly.

He started flexing his muscle in an attempt to exercise. He knew that he was engaged in a fight, but he didn’t know whom he was fighting against.

Cell is hell. 

That was all Robert could say for myself. And then he realised that it was too soon for him to die.

He slept, with the comforting thought that he was still alive.

“Where is heaven?” He woke up with the sudden idea.

He turned to his side, then he found out that the young man next to him had gone. “He must have gone up to heaven,” he murmured.

And then he began to realise that he was in heaven before. He had a cheque for three-hundred and sixty-seven thousand to clear and he was supposed to collect his money in the Bull Bank.

“What should I do with the money,” he began to ask himself, in an attempt to think positive.

Chapter 16

Dinner arrived with just one plate of beef, the salmon that Robert looked forward to being given has vanished. He was utterly disappointed and then he realised that it might not have been dinner. It could well be lunch since by now he had lost track of the time.

He looked at the tag on his wrist again. After last night he had entirely forgotten about the number. Anyway, now he knew that he was either David or Robert.

Click, the door opened again.

“Robert or David?” Robert asked.

“You tell me.” The officer said.

“Ok, since you asked. My name is Robert, Robert Wong.”

“Good,” “here is your passport,” officer threw a book at him this time. He took a look at it, it was red, but not bright red.

“No, this is not my passport,” he protested.

“Then what colour do you want?” the man asked.

“You mean I can choose my own colour?” he was getting confused now, or rather delighted.

“Then I want purple,” he said, poking fun at the man.

“There is no purple, but if you want, we can do one specially for you,” man said.

“No need,” this time Robert decided to be cooperative, “any colour will do,” he said, and then, “may I know my name, please?”

“The young or the old?” again the man questioned him.

By now Robert had given up on who died, and whom he was supposed to have killed, and who he spoke to before he went down to the kitchen. Now he could only recall the name Ryan Morris, but even then, he could not remember how he looked like.

Chapter 17

The next time he saw the officer, he took the first opportunity and said, “I saw a bottle, in fact several bottles, of poison in the fridge. They were labelled ‘Poison – Keep away from children’. I don’t know if the young woman fed her mother with it.”

“But that is just hearsay,” officer said. How do I know that you did not make it up.

They are still not telling me who died – Mary or the old lady. And they are asking me to tell them.

But how would I know who died, unless I am the one responsible for it?

This is hilarious. 

By now Robert realised that he has to make an educated guess. Perhaps if he guessed correctly, they might let him go.

Officer came in again. This time he went straight to the point, “young or old?”

“Old,” Robert said. 

“Yes, she died of poison, it was her daughter who killed her,” 

“And her name?” he followed suit.

“Mary, as in Mother Mary,” suddenly the man became friendly.

He smiled at Robert, “it is the same as the intended recipient of the cheque Mary Sarah Chan,”

“The cheque paid to her name would only have sufficient funds for withdrawal, provided that her mother Olivia died. But that since Olivia was too old and like she said, ‘she had already found her abode in heaven,’ we have decided to just keep her with us for four years, instead of the usual punishment for murder.”

“Ok, everything tied up now, the story is clear, and you may go.”

Still unhappy with the ending, Robert turned around and asked the man, whom I shall refer to as his saviour, “Robert or David?”

“Robert,” his saviour passed him a red book. He opened it, and the biodata page had his name – Robert Wong See Choon. 

Chapter 18

Looking dapper, Robert had a fresh haircut the moment he got out, and he went to the Bull Bank to check on his account status. True enough, there was more than three hundred and sixty-seven thousand dollars, including his own money, waiting for him to spend.

He used part of it to buy a house, to get married, and to buy a statue of Mother Mary and a sparkling crystal Rosary. Every night he went in front of the statue and prayed for Mary Sarah Chan’s release.

Until this evening.

I Have Turned Over A New Leaf

I remembered the past when I was evil …….

Chapter 1

It’s getting clearer and clearer now, that she wants me dead.

I decided to try out a nursery at Chancery Lane, as it was just two lanes away. The school was crowded with students as I walked in. The board has a large display: “Paddington Schoolhouse”. I quickly took a picture of the entrance before proceeding to walk in. No one saw me taking the picture.

And no one followed me in either.

The school wall was plastered with wallpaper of different species of flowers, together with words of alphabets. I tried to catch them in alphabetical order. So, I stood still for a while, and then I started identifying them. I found “A”, followed by “B”, and then I had to take a long time before I could find “C”. Finally, after I saw “D”, I decided to jump to “H”. 

At this moment I heard a voice calling, “Where are you baby?”

Shocked, I thought the woman was calling me, as I distinctly remembered that there was no one around when I entered.

Then who is the baby? And who was this woman?

Chapter 2

Minutes later I saw a parrot in a cage, instantly I decided that this should be the item that I must bring home today. Its body is round and if it were a man, you would call him fat. But his feathers are arranged in a layered and orderly manner I would say. I fell in love with the fowl even before I took him home. As I wanted him to be free, I did not capture him before I walked away to look for the owner of the premises to arrange for a way to bring him home. At the time I had completely forgotten that it did not belong to me. And that some negotiations needed to be done before anything could happen.

“He is a bird! Of course he could fly home with me,” I thought to myself.

I walked away from the cage, and I walked further into the school. Still, no one was around.

To the far-right corner I saw a clean toilet. I cannot tell you how I am able to determine that the toilet was clean even before I started using it. But then when I heard the sound of a flush, I decided to walk in, forgetting that it was a male toilet. From a long time ago, I suffer from pelvic floor dysfunction. It could be that I drank too much water in the morning before I came in, or perhaps I took too much coffee. Coffee is diuretic we all know. 

But no one is inside the toilet. So, I came out again and then decided to survey the entire scene before I could satisfy myself that I was alone in the schoolhouse.

Since I was alone here, I thought to myself, let me pretend that I am the principal, and that there are school kids on the floor. Further on, I decided that I was a teacher, and that since I was a teacher, I am entitled to a pointer stick, a writing board, some markers and an eraser. And then when I felt a little tired, I sat down on a stool. By this time, I had completely forgotten that I needed to use the toilet just now. 

My bladder is completely under my control by now.

Afterwards, I heard some people laughing. “They must be my students,” I thought to myself. So, I decided to start talking to them.

“This is A for America,” “B for Bangkok,” “C for China,” and then when I found that there was no answer, I decided to try other means of introduction.

“This is A for Apple,” “B for bed,” “C for chair,” and “D for desk,” using furniture instead. But still no one responded. Of course I know that apple is a fruit.

Frustrated, I started shouting, “Why are all of you so quiet?!!!”

Just at this time, a man with a black polo shirt walked in, from which direction I don’t know. 

“Why are you shouting?” he asked.

“No, I am not shouting,” at the top of my voice I retorted.

“Lower your voice,” the man in black said.

“Ok, fine, who are you?” “And why are you here?”

“I am the security guard,” he said, “Can’t you see?” he pointed to the word on his attire, and then he continued, “S for Singapore, I for India, N for Norway, G for Germany, A for …. Ok the rest you know,” 

“What do you mean by the rest you know?” “I don’t know anything,” I replied. And then, “carry on,” I ordered.

He laughed, “ok, so you are here alone, is that right?” 

“Of course I am alone,” I said, “Do you see anyone else around?” I decided to treat him as my first student.

“Yes, I can see you standing here,” he tried to argue. 

“So, there are students here, right?” I tried to impose upon him.

“Err …. Err … yes!” he said after a pause.

“How many?” I am now making fun of him.

“I can see a few, in fact, several ….”, this time without punctuation. 

Hahaha I was laughing inside. 

“By the way, why are they laughing just now?” I enquired.

“Who? Me?” he asked. 

“No, not you, the students,” I replied.

“Oh yes, I think they were happy, that’s why …. ” a most logical answer to anyone who laughs.

I smiled, satisfied that this security man has now submitted to me, I decided to probe in further. So, I tried to find out his name before I recorded it in my memory bank. And the bank is known as UN5386. No, this is not a physical bank, not brick and mortar. And it is just the name of my new notebook. 

“Hey wait! I am not done with you!” He yelled after me.

Chapter 3

He came in as an invisible man. And I spoke to him.

“Who are you?” first thing I said, “I had never seen you before,”

“I brought some plants for you, as well as some bird food for your bird, the one that flew away,”

“Oh, she told you?” I said,

“No, she didn’t, I just gathered that you needed it,” insisting that he didn’t know that I knew the school principal. I knew that I wasn’t the principal.

So, the security guard must have reported that I behaved badly the other day when I confronted him, or rather he confronted me.

How could he? I didn’t touch him, and I stopped talking the minute he ordered me not to shout, when in fact I was talking to the thin air.

What? He thinks I am mad?

People are entitled to talk to themselves whenever they feel like. And everyone is entitled to laugh to themselves if they wish to.

I continue to station myself in the school.

Chapter 4

I saw the same man again. This time he called himself the bus conductor. And he noticed me at once. I wasn’t sure what it was about me that attracted me to him. But certainly, I wasn’t drawn to him.

I gave an OMG expression.

I looked down at my shoes. They were brown, and then I saw that I was wearing a pair of jeans and t-shirt. I liked jeans because it has pockets to hide my iPhone. Mobile in all aspects, I disliked people on wheelchair to board the bus, as it gives the driver a lot of extra work to do. He has to put the gear on neutral, apply the brakes, letting the engine run without a driver, then move to the exit door to pull the folded platform down to allow for smooth boarding of the passenger on wheelchair. I wanted to be a wheelchair assistant when I was looking for a job. But at the time I was afraid of losing my way at the vast airport. I told myself unless I was travelling out of the country I won’t arrive at the airport.

My house is a gloomy, hot, airless, attic room. Four small, mean windows shut tight with wooden shutters appeared to be the only means of ventilation. I hurried into the room to open the venetian blinds to allow the sun in. I added one bedside table and one small wardrobe to complete the furnishings when I moved in. Only one bed was allowed inside as I didn’t want strangers to sneak in and occupy my attic. You never know. Some people do have very good imagination, and they can virtually occupy your house. That is why I never allow anyone in except my closest friends and relatives. My neighbors are far away on the lower floors. The attic I spray clean with Dettol disinfectant at least once a day.

You could say that I got 洁癖. It means that I am obsessed with cleanliness.

However, several lizards are living with me as I find it hard to get rid of them. They are tough, cold-blooded, and they run away whenever I approach them. One time I had to empty half a bottle of Baygon insect killer before I could get a lizard to submit.

I hate lizards. I hate their tiny little eyes that pops out from the side.

Chapter 5

Everything was behind closed door now. I don’t go out, and I eat at home, as a spat of housebreaking has been reported in my neighborhood. I was afraid that once I leave the house the thieves would enter and take possession, filming the entire house with no stone unturned. You are right, I treat my house as a museum, and I don’t like photos taken. With or without myself inside. Friends who have taken pictures of us in the house have been deserted. It is extremely rude to come into someone’s house and film their artwork. Worse, if they have taken pictures of inside your toilet on the pretext of wanting to comb their hair.

I don’t comb my hair in the mornings after I wake up. 

And I have told several people before. I have converted my thin long fingernails into the teeth of my comb since ages ago. You could take that as an explanation. But the more logical explanation is that it has become a habit to just pick up the hairdryer and let the hot air to blow at it. It is much faster that way.

Chapter 6

I was at a meeting today. And there I heard everyone talking about visiting Vietnam. Laura turned to me and asked me “are you going anywhere for a holiday?”

“Where would you like me to go?” I asked her.

“Anywhere. Just get out of this crazy town.”

“What’s crazy about this town?” I asked her.

“It’s crazily hot. At 34 degrees Celsius, you can bake anyone under the sun,” 

“That is provided you sunbathe,” I said.

“If you don’t put yourself under the sun, why would you feel hot?” I added, just to emphasize.

Immediately Sandra chipped in and said, “a baby in the oven,”

“Baby in the oven?!!! That’s an exaggeration.”

“Oh, have you heard of the case of a Filipina helper putting a baby in the oven before?”

“Oh, my goodness! What on earth was she trying to do?”

“To kill the baby of course.”

“She could have been executed,”

“She was, I am sure.” “That was first degree murder.” “Doing an act with intent to cause harm, thus leading to death.” Vincent said.

“So, did her country come to fetch her home after that?”

“Her remains were repatriated.”

“Helpers can be very mean at times.”

“The fact that she was a Filipina had nothing to do with the crime that she committed.” Laura pleaded.

Laura was a Filipina who married an Englishman and migrated here from twenty years ago.

“Sure,” I replied.

How do I tell my rich friends to stop thinking about fleeing the country?

And how do I turn Laura into my friend?

Chapter 7

At home lying on my bed, I tried to reason with Laura.

But God told me: You can’t. Unless you meet again, go back to yesterday, erase the conversation, and put Laura on the witness stand, to make her defend the helper and see if she could prove her innocence.

Somethings just can’t change. And some past cannot be eliminated. People remember. Old people who are still alive remember. Young people who have good memory remember what their parents tell them. If a crime has been committed in a city, unless the entire city enters into a sleep mode permanently. The crime that you have committed the gods remember. Call it a sin in the Bible, but 他是杀人灭口。Everyone knows what you did, and what happened on that day that created this day. With or without children, someone out there, someone near you, a sound, a thought prompted by a tiny little creature, will remind you, your own brains, that you killed someone who was in your hands. Unless you have an excellent lawyer, who can plead your case, and a lenient judge who is willing to exonerate you, you cannot go free. For what reason do you have for killing?

For the good of your country? For the good of mankind? For humanity, like Elon Musk? No, Elon Musk is not a murderer. I have not seen him kill. But how can I be so sure? Well, no one has proved otherwise to me.

Maybe that is why rich people are always trying to travel. For the need of good fresh air, I guess. This city is full of hot balloonish air. And unless you turn on the air conditioning you cannot sleep.

The bill is getting higher. But as they say, you pay for what you deserve, which is the nice cool air. We must pay for everything isn’t it.

No one owes me a living I know. But no one owes you a living too.

Chapter 8

The group discussion today was whether there are any hidden benefits to being the only diner in a fancy restaurant, or is it just uncomfortable?

My answer to them was “uncomfortable”. It’s like going back into your house and eating the food that you prepared and having all the surroundings in your home changed into fantasy. I am not interested in make believes, even though I am well aware that I am writing fiction now. But who doesn’t like fiction? The real world is full of crimes and hatred. That is what I see on the television every day. So, I turn off the television from today. If there are no negative report on the news, then I would switch it on and leave it on all the time. My neighbors below might get offended with the bombarding of noise, but let him get upset, since they are not my ears anyway. 

Yes, war broke out at the Thailand and Cambodia mutual border today. 

Again?

And why they call it “mutual” border? It is separated by a Preah Vihear temple erected from since time immemorial. I don’t study history, so I don’t know the date and time when they declared a truce. Not that I don’t like history, but that I have not been given enough cells for my brains to receive it and then process it. This was decided by God when He created me. Err. I think he is residing in Mars now. Since he created mankind and the earth, he must be living in the vast galaxy.

I am living. But I am not God and have never attempted to pretend that I am omnipresent. Some people do. Those who love power who love control. They think that they have special powers when in fact it is the money that they carry with them and the weapons that they have been given which make people fear them.  

What about doctors? Doctors are here to save lives, not to overrule patients’ authority to make decisions for themselves. The needle can kill, but so can it heal. An injection or an advice which is contrary to the patients’ desire, even if behind closed doors, is harmful if given when the man sitting in front of him did not wish for it to be taken.

Who says that the man who went into the operation theatre went in without his original intent? Who says that the consent form was signed with free will when in fact it was signed under duress? Or in a moment of weakness? Or simply because the doctor said, “trust me,”? Why should I trust anybody but myself?

Chapter 9

Vincent had a cup of tea instead of coffee before I went out today. 

This time I took the side entrance to the Cherry Hill mall. I go in from the side and no one saw me. Other times when I take the main entrance a man would pull open the door for me, not on purpose, but that he happened to be coming out himself. We have dispensed with the need for a doorman for a long time. It is an extremely boring job, and guests who are being served may not even appreciate it. This often shows when not a word of thank you was said. 

Oh yeah, we have a lady doorman. Maybe we can call her a lady door opener. I miss her as she is a replica of one of my late aunties.

But this is not what I am here for today. I am here in the schoolhouse now. And I am investigating a murder which took place recently. The chief investigating officer did not give me the specific date, and I am just here to look see. To find out if there were any threads leading to the murder. Murder is always life and can never be pardoned. Even if the state pardons you, God does not pardon the one who pardoned he who killed. For whom are you to play God? You killed His creation!

So, I stepped up to the security man again. Did you see the man who was here yesterday? The man? Which man? He asked. 

“He was wearing a green shirt yesterday.” I said, knowing that it was myself.

“Oh, I can’t remember,” the man replied, still wearing his black polo shirt.

“But I remember you,” I told him.

“And you ordered me to shut up.” I spoke.

“No, I didn’t.” he responded.

By this time, I realized that the security man whom I saw on 21 July 2025 at the schoolhouse, was already dead. I mean some of his brain cells are dead. He cannot recall what happened just a week ago.

That is why I bought a notebook!

I tell you: these notebooks are the best in the word. You can’t find them anymore in the Apple iPhone stall. 

The world has changed, and I am not trying to tell you that digital devices are no longer useful. It’s just that we should not rely too much on a smartphone.

Otherwise, we might as well replace our brains with a smartphone.

Chapter 10

“Wait! You dropped your spoon on the floor,” Vincent shouted after me as I was walking away during the meeting.

There it is a hideously embarrassing truth dropped right into the middle of a conversation.

“What color is it?” I asked.

“You mean to say that if it’s black you don’t want it?” he asked, looking puzzled as usual.

He is trying to say that I am crazy again.

Just to prove him wrong, I told him that I don’t object to black, and that I was merely checking if it were mine, telling him that my umbrella is actually black, and indeed the question was perfectly legitimate.

“Ok, here you go,” he said, passing me the umbrella.

“Hey! I am here, what do you mean by go? That’s pretty rude. It sounds like go away.” But then in my little brains I too say 去死 as a term of endearment. Of course I am not a lizard. My brains are that of a normal human being. Everyone who sees me would testify to that. 

But how would anyone know what I say to others in my brains?

Again, the question popped up in Audrey’s head – “but how did others know that murder that has been committed in the schoolhouse? And then how would others know that the principal is dead?

Chapter 11

Furtively I walked into the schoolhouse again.

“She has turned cold,” Vincent said. 

“Oh dear! How long ago has it been?” I asked.

“I don’t know, probably three months ago,” he replied.

“Since the day I walked in?” I queried.

No wonder I heard some noises when I was there on 21 July. It was a Monday. So, the schoolhouse is haunted. 

Yeah, and that was why I started talking to myself, when surrounded by the unseen beings. Were they good or evil? 

And then the woman must have been the late school principal. Was she the woman’s voice? Or was she her assistant who was also killed at the same time who witnessed the crime? I knew that I wasn’t hearing voices. Could it have been a recorder being played in the background? For sure I know that my hearing was good. 

“No quite apart from this, we don’t know where it happened. So, it must have been elsewhere.” Vincent said.

“But where?” Audrey asked.

“Beats me,” Vincent said.

Chapter 12

I spoke to my regular death medicolegal who drew up a medical chart to find out if she had any medical history before. If she had, she could have died of natural causes. Under normal circumstances, a normal healthy woman of sound mind would not put herself in a situation where she would get into trouble. 

“Noodles or porridge?” my mother-in-law asked.

I shrugged. Vincent shrugged. I sighed and left the queue. Vincent would bring my order to the table. He knows what I like. 

Three minutes later Vincent put the food on my table. I decided to start first before MIL arrived. Just in case you don’t know, MIL is an abbreviation for mother-in-law. Just like why Covid was called coronavirus. It is called corona-virus because it was deadly. Since a corona inquiry means an investigation on the causes of death.

MIL took a long time talking to the man selling the fried kway teow. She was obviously interested in the man. I thought to myself. 

“Why is she taking so long?” “The man is not good looking at all,” I continued.

“He likes her,” Vincent said.

“But why?” I asked. She is married to your dad, right?”

“No, my dad has passed away a long time ago,” my husband finally confessed.

“Huh?” “This is the first time you are telling me,” 

Immediately I heard commotion, and the spectators came. MIL has just slapped the hawker man. 

Vincent stood still, not saying a word. I let the police come and take her away, whilst the poor man who had been slapped said he wasn’t injured seriously, and that he didn’t want to go to the hospital. Since he was obviously the victim, the police let him off the hook. I mean, he could have provoked her or what.

This is the way we function. In a civilized world, we let the victim decide if he needs to be treated, or wants to be treated, but what did he say that provoked my poor MIL, who was now in custody?

Chapter 13

Vincent said he has no idea.

No idea as to what? 

As to how the school principal died? Or as to what the man at the hawker centre said to his mother?

I married Vincent three years ago, after having dated with each other for more than seven years. By now the romance would have died for most people. But not for the both of us. We always had things to do, cases to investigate, and people to meet. Some are victims and some are prosecutors. But we know where we must avoid. 

The expensive restaurants. 

Not say we cannot afford it, but that we don’t want to disturb the peace there. People who dine out too regularly are those who don’t know what to do with the money that they have. I don’t splurge money around. I try to save as much as I could. Unless the articles find me and haunt me.

Yes, I saw a pair of earrings today. It is gorgeous. I decided to pay for it on the spot. I dug into my wallet and found that I did not have enough cash. So, I lied to the salesman and said that it was too expensive. 

Vincent would yell at me if he saw my earrings, and until I have found a place to hide it, I would keep it on standby.

“Where is she? Is she still with you?” I heard Vincent speaking on the phone the moment I got back.

I take it that he must be talking to the officer who took his mother. So, I kept quiet. But when the earrings popped up in my brains again at midnight when he was sound asleep, I couldn’t help but wake him and asked him if I could buy it.

Still half asleep, “go ahead, dear …..” was what my husband had said.

Exuberated, I left the bed and went to the bureau to take out a stack of cash.

And I jumped back into the bed thinking that Vincent did not know how much I took. 

The moon came up over the window, and I realized that the harvest moon was approaching. Yes, I must greet everyone “Happy Mooncake Festival”. Even though I don’t eat the delicacy. It is very sweet. My tooth is sweet enough.

“Fine,” I heard Vincent said this morning at breakfast. I took it that he knew that I took the money and approved it.

“So, it’s fine right?” again I asked.

“Yes, she is fine,” he thought I was inquiring after MIL.

Who cares about MIL these days?

Chapter 14

Meetings are six times a week, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays we meet too. But it is an impromptu meeting which means that unless there are new threads, we don’t need to discuss. 

Laura was happy that Vincent sat next to her. I moved to the other side of Laura and allowed Vincent uninterrupted conversation with her. This is in consideration of the pair of crystal earrings that I bought. 

It took Sandra just two seconds to find out that I had new jewelry. Finally, after much small talk, I disclosed the price and Sandra promised to keep it a secret from my husband.

“So, it cost one thousand and thirty-five dollars.” I heard Vincent said as he left to take a glass of water at the coffee table.

How did Laura and Vincent know that I bought a piece of earrings, and how did she know the price? Oh, Laura might have seen my earrings even before Sandra commented, but the price? 

My mind was beginning to crack. 

The minute I got home I confessed to my husband immediately. 

“Were the earrings too expensive and beyond our budget? I took the cash from the bureau.” 

“Forget it Audrey, we found her body.”

“But where was it?”

“Behind the school, where the wet market sellers dump the old unwanted frozen foods.” 

“Oh, so she was murdered in the school,” I heaved a sigh of relief as I could now confirm that I wasn’t hearing voices. It was the woman the late Fiona Chee who was talking to me.

Chapter 15

Now that we have found the murdered, we could proceed to find the killer.

Let us all sleep quietly under the Buck Moon, and the guy would appear on his own tomorrow under bright sunlight.

Chapter 16

My husband decided to tell me the truth.

“Audrey, I slept with Fiona …. please forgive me ….”

“What?” I still could not hear. Maybe I heard and could not bear the truth.

“Why did you do that?” I whispered, knowing that the truth would implicate him as the number one suspect.

“She was attractive, and I fell for her …. “Vincent’s face was dark like the moon covered by a layer of thin clouds. 

But why did you have to do that??? Audrey was furious.

“Fact is that I didn’t murder her.” He emphasized.

“Then why are you telling me that?” Audrey lowered her voice this time.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. Doing all the investigations has made me sick.”

“But you are not sick right?” Audrey was pretty sure.

“The money that I left in the bureau was for you to buy anything that you like, but I didn’t know that you would turn up at the meeting with it, before telling me where it came from,”

“What do you mean?”

“It was the same pair of earrings that Fiona was wearing when she slept with me,”

“So, it is recycled goods???”

“Yes, am afraid so,” 

“OMG. OMG.” 

So, I became Fiona number two!

This just too bizarre to carry on, before I too go crazy.

Chapter 17

The truth must come out, as all truths would.

I could see the moon ascending on the horizon whilst I was lying in bed with my husband. Tonight, I did not feel like asking him for a goodnight kiss, instead I pulled the blanket over my face, and I left the lamp by my side on without turning it off. I could feel Vincent turning cold beside me.

No investigators came, no police came, in fact, it was just my husband and I in the bedroom, lying side by side, refusing to talk to each other.

But if no one killed Fiona, then who did? The answer is simple. She had no students in the schoolhouse, and so she killed herself out of boredom. By cyanide? By Dettol? Or by Baygon? Whatever, we don’t really care now, as we all know that she is residing in heaven.

Heaven is where happiness can be found. Heaven is when you talk to your friends, and they respond to you. Heaven is when you feel that you can manage your own affairs without having to depend on others to decide for you, and heaven is when you are allowed to make your own decisions, and heaven is when no one orders you around and tell you what to do. Most of all, heaven is when God answers your prayers. Heaven is when you are allowed to talk to yourself, smile to yourself and no one says that you are mad. 

But just don’t be rude to me. Don’t open conversation with me as a stranger when you don’t have to. Because I am not God. 

I need to think of what to do tomorrow. And for this I can decide for myself. I don’t need to pray and ask God for discernment for a simple thing like that. Some people have been moved to a position where they need to pray before they eat. I count my blessings every day. I count my money every day. And I thank God for giving me a set of good parents. They created me. And once done, they let God handle me. No, I have not met God in person yet. I am simply residing in his realm, the milky way known as the galaxy.

Yes, I told a stranger off today. She was there to make conversation with me. She tried to pretend that a stranger was my husband, and she pretended that she was waiting for her partner to join her in the queue.

Nastiness has its rewards.

Chapter 18

The good old monster came.

He said he was my friend, and I took his word for it. 

No matter how hard I try, I still believe in people, and open my mouth to strangers when they start talking to me. I am not a mannequin, and I am not dead. I just want to learn how to be nasty, as everyone says, we islanders are naive and small. But I am stronger than you think, as I am slowly beginning to learn to be nasty, guided by the gentle monster. 

I love him! He changed me into a new leaf! 

My Paintings

In conference ….

Concierge did not pay any attention ….

A lawyer in his law office ….

A woman recovering …..

Rotten fruits sold at a supermarket ….

Portrait of a man ….

Me after a new hairdo ….

Houses in winter ….

A winter covered with snow ….

I used to read a lot ….

A fisherman looking forlorn …..

Weather is good for a walk by mother and child ….

I added the thin yellow line to introduce the sun ….

My favourite pink flowers ….

They are supposed to be roses ….

Flowers more abstract ….

I think it’s a lily ….

My happy fish ….

A fish in the water ….

One boat ….

Two boats ….

A house I remembered ….

It does look like a church ….

A house by the sea ….

I think I have been there before ….

I like this house ….

A woman smoking and drinking ….

Eyes are difficult to paint ….

I love her ….

My Agatha Christie ….

Waiting for sunrise ….

I live there ….

You need a special paint for this flower ….

I think I need one more cat …..

Her stripes are not supposed to be even ….

A girl with a pair of CD earrings ….

陶然共忘机

姐姐和我一起做家务 …..

第 1 章

我也不知道今天为什么会走这条路回家。

但搭上了车,就照这条路走了,反正现在要改也改不了。只是时间长短而且。妈正在家里等着我吃饭,我已经迟了一个小时。

第 2 章

“回来这么晚,饭都凉了”妈说。

“我今天搭车回家,所以花上时间,妈,您下次别再等我了,” 我对着妈说。妈弄到我心烦,心里想着,但没说出口。

妈只会煮这几道菜,我只要有三芭辣椒配上,就上口了。我的胃口不大,在外面呆了整天,难免有些累。吃了几口,把筷子放下,说了声谢谢,便匆匆忙忙的跑进房间。

房间有冷气,我关上了门,没锁。妈不准我锁门,她说那是很没礼貌的表示。我也接受她不会冒冒然冲进来吵我的保证。

自从爸爸离开家的时候,我们就知道他跟一个坏女人同居了。妈也没有找亲戚朋友去求他。妈是一个很有骨气的女人。这是我尊敬妈的一个原因。

我知道爸爸在哪儿,就在小巷走下去一点点的右边。那里要通过一个全身珠光宝气的女人开门,才能见到爸爸。

爸爸跟妈俩个人的关系,是「冰冻一尺,非一日之寒」。他们每回聊天聊到一半,总会像河流一样,急转流下,突发成一个辩论,然后争吵,再由爸爸发脾气,最后不欢而散。我呢,则战战兢兢的在一旁等待,直到爸爸丢下妈,由正门冲出去,妈上前关门为止,表示事情告一个段落,才能放心进房间念书。

每回这时可好了,爸爸暂时不会回来,我也不必再心惊胆颤的过日子。但我知道这只是暂时性的问题,迟早一天,我总会再见到爸爸的。

隔壁忽然传来一阵呼喝声,“为什么你这么晚才回来!”

又是梁阿姨的声因。

我彻耳倾听,想知道他们的谈话内容。可是,只有梁阿姨的话,我看了妈一眼,妈摇摇头,示意叫我不要多管闲事。

隔壁的梁阿姨是个古典美人,所谓「窈窕淑女,君子好求」。我爸爸当年就是看到了她,才答应搬过来这里住的。

我还记得我们第一天搬进来的时候,爸爸跟妈发脾气的样子,神情好凶,那时候我就知道他们是迟早都要离婚的。在那时候,我心里已经决定不要跟梁阿姨讲话了。

但是当爸爸对着梁家隔壁的孩子发呆的时候,妈都若无其事,我当局着迷,旁观着清,等着爸爸转身回到来跟妈说话。

梁阿姨她们有三个孩子,都是读宇宙大学的。他们排起来,好像是钢琴的 do re mi, 高矮不一,大儿子伟强肯定年纪比我大,次子伟烈长得很好看,第三的伟龙听说是高材生。

我每回看到伟强的时候,都是很高兴的,因为如果爸爸喜欢他们的住在隔壁的母亲,那他迟早一定会回来。即使不是为了我们,那也行。爸爸每次见到我们的时候,总会分一两百块给我们,然后我们通常都是会交给妈的。

妈孤苦伶仃的自己一个人过日子,而梁阿姨有梁叔叔在身边,不高兴的时候,她总是把老公拉出来骂。但是我还很想知道当梁阿姨发脾气的时候,梁家三兄弟在不在场。

第 3 章

今天天气特别好,我的意思是说,妈的心情很好。她一早起来,就进房来跟大姐说话,” 你今天别忘记打电话给我,让我知道需不需要留晚饭给你,”

”好的,妈,” 大姐低着头小声的说。

”再过一两天,就是晓薇的生日了,” 妈说。

我听了很高兴,妈还记得我的生日,我马上拿了一支笔,把想要的东西写下来,然后把纸条放在妈的桌子上。

妈是一个公务员,常常把作不完的公事带回家。为了我们,她不惜含辛茹苦,晚上作到很迟才睡觉。

我只负责念书,其他的事都不用管。不是不想管,而是,管了也没用。爸爸的行动,不在我的线视之内,爸爸到底爱不爱妈,只有他们俩人自己知道。反正感情的事,是当局者迷,旁观者清。

即使爸爸真的是爱梁阿姨,我也不管,只要他继续把钱交给我们,让我们有饭吃,有衣穿就好了。只要他是一个好父亲,他是不是一个好丈夫,跟本跟与我无关。

我常常这样跟妈说,谁知道这伤了妈的心。

大姐的想法则跟我完全不一样,她总是在妈背后骂爸爸,骂完了爸爸,她就骂梁阿姨,骂了她之后,再骂梁叔叔,说他不会管老婆。

我心里就想着,这跟本不关大家的事,梁阿姨本来就是一个美人胚子,不单只是爸爸,什么男人都会喜欢她的。

我跟大姐的感情很好。不论什么事,我都跟她先商量了才做,我从来没有在意妈待大姐好像比我好。比如说,大姐颈项有一条很美的蝴蝶项链,我只能眼看手不动。但我没跟妈要,因为如果妈要给我一条的话,一定会主动买给我。我猜大概是因为爸爸没给够钱的原因,不是妈不爱我。

他们说,人总是这样,得不到的东西总是最好的。但我不一样,我很知足,妈教过我,「知足常乐」,「比上不足,比下有余」。

我们每天晚上,都要等到小弟来到餐桌上,坐定了之后,才开饭。弟弟晓帆比我小六岁,总是等到妈发了脾气才出现。我们一家五口,每天五缺一,只能开麻将桌。

妈随然穷,但从来不赌博,连「多多」炒票也不买。

我总不知道妈的心里是怎么想的,好像是一定是要爸爸给的钱才肯用。我们姐弟三人却保持着「天踏下来,当被盖」的心态。

在我眼里,妈长得很好看,我也不知道为甚么爸爸一直不喜欢她。

虽然我们跟隔壁的关系不是很好,但我还是照样和伟强打招呼。伟强是大哥,我觉得他很帅。

”你不要在男人身上浪费心机了!“ 妈这样对我说。

第 4 章

隔壁的伟烈比他的大哥有礼貌,遇到我的时侯还会打个招呼,不像伟强,有时候好像装作没有看到我一样,弄到我很生气。但我那时也假装没有看到他,直接开门进屋子里面。

今天又看到那摆架子的男生了。只不过他伟强真的长得很好看,我对于样貌英俊的男生,总无法生他们的气。但我猜他的功课好不到那里去。

今天在路上总是觉得有人跟踪着我,但我转开头去看的时候,却看不到人影,我赶紧把书包抱得紧一点。

用手摸一下爸爸给我的玉琢子,马上收回上衣领脖子里。这是我最珍贵的礼物,是不可以弄丢的。玉琢子好冰凉,我感觉到冷了一下。

走到车站,看见巴士车马上到了,就飞快的上车,以免坐不到位子,被罚站是不好玩的,因为从立化到花拉至少要三十分钟。书包又重,如果没得坐的话,那真的要命。

巴士先生对我笑了一下,我是很不甘愿打这个招呼的。我走到巴士最后面,找了个靠窗的位置,安定得坐了下来。窗外的景色依然是那几间旧屋子,马路上的车好像烏云 一样,我看不清楚里面坐的是什么人。

总而言之,我知道我是没有可能搭德士的,妈说过搭德士很危险,我也不知道危险到那儿去。妈是因为我们没钱还车费才那样说的。 我一天的零用钱只五块,买了零食之后,只够钱用在巴士车费上。我知道妈赚钱很辛苦。

第 5 章

今天有人说学校里闹鬼,我问了爱玲我最要好的朋友,她说是在厕所里,我为了这个缘故,整天都不敢进去。后来还是等到最后关头,爱玲进去洗手的时候我才一起跟进去。我们学校的洗手间,常常没有肥皂,所以洗了一个很不干净的手。抹了抹两下裙子,我就赶紧跑了出来。

回到课室的时候,大多数的同学们都好像回家了,只剩下寥寥无几,连爱玲也不见人。我把桌上的书本收进书包里面,整里了一下裙子,把巴士卡拿在手上,便大大方方的走出课室,向学校门口过去。我因为小学的会考成绩拿到高分,被排到好班,所以在校园里面走起路来,头都是抬得高高的。

在回家路途上走着走着,想到昨天好像有人跟踪着的样子,不知道是不是那廁所里面的鬼跟上来,我的心好像被钩住一样,停止跳动,爸爸给的玉贴在心脏的位置,冰凉如倩。

一到车站上了车,马上找了昨天那靠窗的位置,定定的坐好。我正要把耳机塞进耳朵,享受一下音乐时,一个男人大大粒粒的坐进我隔壁的位置。我说「大大粒粒」是因为这个人的个子相当大只,他坐下来的时候,占了整个位置还多出了我这里一点点。我不得已,把耳机拿下,收进书包里,把身体移近窗边,假装不知道他的存在。

第 6 章

妈妈是单身贵族,我们知道我们其中一个是要留下来照顾她的,我们姐弟三人之中谁会结婚先搬出去住,要看那个的缘份先到。虽然我长得比姐姐好看一点,可能是因为我留着长头发,看起来比较女性化,可姐姐的五官端正,笑起来时春风荡漾。我有时候真的很想跟姐姐竞争来个抽签决定。

姐姐自从进了大学以后,就变得很忙,但在家的时间反而比较多。变成削夺了我跟妈单独相处的时间,这令我感到很气恼。不过,我还是深信妈爱姐也爱我。他们说通常母亲总是最爱自己的小女儿。

可能是因为爸爸的负心,妈总是伪装着自己的感情,所以她是不是真的爱姐姐多于我,或爱爸爸更多,我都不清楚。只是,我每天晚上吃了饭,都要洗碗,而姐姐却不必。

第 7 章

我们因为家里穷,姐姐跟我挤在同一个房间里面,而妈则跟晓帆睡在隔壁。姐姐为了要专心念书,常常把门锁住,我必须敲了门才能进去。这弄到我很气恼,我想跟妈投诉,但又为了保持我俩姐妹的感情,始终没有开口。

今天回家的时候,又遇到了那个大大只的男人。我开始怀疑他是特地跟踪我的,要不然不可能这么巧合。我最讨厌的是,因为我先下车,要出去,不得不跟他打招乎,请他让开。这使我感到,我好像是被他绑住,事实上也是如此。

但是接下来的第三,四个星期里,我都没有遇到过这个男人,我心里暗自高兴,以为可以永远摆脱这个讨厌的男人了。可是,不见了他几个星期,好像缺少了什么,一个熟悉的面孔,总比整辆陌生的脸好,至少有他在的时候,我就知道上对了车。

我开始感到茫然。

晚饭的时候,我总是最后一个吃完,再顺便洗碗碟,然后再烫衣服。我只负责烫自己的校衣,还有妈的衣服,姐姐会烫她自己的。我已习惯帮妈选择衣服,妈也只穿我烫好了的衣裙。

姐姐最近很少跟我说话,可能是大一的功课比较忙的关系。我也因为要准备年尾的会考,没那么多时间聊天。所以那失踪的大个只男人的际遇,我始终没跟姐姐说。反正是过去了的事情,没有提出的必要。

爸爸在这几个月里,总没有出现,也好像不是住在隔壁。我觉得我们已经开始不大怀念以前有爸爸在的日子了。毕竟时间可以冲淡一切。梁阿姨对爸爸的魅力,好像没这么有吸引力了,我心里也暗自高兴。

第 8 章

今天晚上,洗了碗,烫完衣服以后,再敲了门进房间,忽然很想跟姐姐聊天。姐姐的头埋在书本里面,好像跟本不知道我的存在。我坐在床上,把书包里的课本全部倒出来,再选了一本文学书,开始念,「人之初,性本善,性相进,习相远 ….. 」, 然后背,「松下问童子,言师采药去,只在此山中,云深不知处。」

肯定我是考不进大学的,决定找一份秀员差事,需要开始看报谋事。但家里穷,妈没订报章阅读。我下了课,跑到图书管里面,翻看寻职启事,希望能找到一份离家不远的办公室。

现在是属于经济不景气时期,我翻来翻去,都找不到一份薪水比较像样的职位。

只有一份工作,是在一间酒店里的礼物店, 我负责里面所有的物品,包括手饰在內。

晚上洗碗的时候,趁只有妈和我单独的空间,把找到工作的事情告诉妈。虽然我已经应试被录取了,跟妈说只是形式而已,即使妈不同意,我也会作那份工的。我知道我长得不比姐姐美,找工作没那么容易。

他们都说谋事是靠实力,但我相信长相是很有关系的。比如我现在谋的这份酒店服务,如果我不是化了一个淡装,我想我是不会被录取的。应征的时候老板已经强调过上班的时候一定要打扮得像样点。

回家之前,我没有忘记先把化装除掉,以免让妈看到。她一定会问长问短,以为我交上了男朋友。事实上,我对班上的男同学完全不感兴趣,只觉得他们幼稚,不懂得人生的酸甜苦辣。

转眼就毕业了,我把校服洗干净烫完了之后,便挂了起来,知道我已经不会再穿上这套衣服了。每天不期而遇的同学,现在需要特别预约,还要订会面地点时间,增加了不少隔膜。

我终于感到生命的脆弱。

第 9 章

今天上了车,不期而然的找回我常爱坐的位子,看到它是空的,好高兴,马上坐了过去。过了一阵子,我听到一个女人的声音,”你今晚还是别过来得好,老公好像知道了,今天叫我不用煮饭给他·。” 声音好熟悉,我转过身一看,原来是梁阿姨!

感到很不好意思,我不自觉的把头底了一下,叫了声“梁阿姨”,然后把眼光向她身子上上下下的扫了一眼,只觉得她穿得太漂亮了。梁阿姨没想到会遇到我,当场好像嚇了一跳,马上说,”哦,怎么是你,你刚放学?“ 然后她就马上离开她原来的位子,在隔壁坐了上来,我不得以把书包放在地上。

我们俩都是去同样的地方,当然是一起下车。所以扫了卡之后,我和梁阿姨不期而然的往同一个方向走,回到了那座不大不小的屋子。到家的时候,妈已经准备晚餐了。我当然不敢和妈说我是跟梁阿姨一起回来的,因为肯定妈是不会高兴的。妈从来没有和梁阿姨打过招呼。

今天晚上我们有一个稀客,那就是爸爸。有爸爸和我们一起吃晚饭,我好兴奋,梁阿姨在车上跟谁讲话,我跟本没管着。

“你考完试,找到工作了没有?” 爸爸一边问一边把烤肉夹到我的饭碗面前。

“好像是找到了,” 我有点吞吐。

“好像?是找到还是没找到?“ 爸爸追问。

我怕妈反对这份酒店的工作,敢紧把头埋在碗里,吃了饭,还没洗碗,就躲进房里。

过了一阵子大约半个小时出来的时候,爸爸已经不在了,妈淡淡的,”他回去了。” 回去?爸爸本来是应该跟我们一起住的,应该是“出去”才对。后来不知道是不是视觉有问题,我好像在窗口看到爸爸闪过了影子,但一咋眼睛就不见了。

第 10 章

刚开始工作的时候,老板要我填表格,上面叫我写上父母亲的名字,我愣了一阵子,不晓得应不应该填上爸爸的名字,最后还是空了,反正爸爸不知道我在哪儿工作。而且如果我忽然间晕倒的话,打电话也是找不到他的。前天晚上爸爸是很意外的出现。

其实上一代的事,我们做儿女的,不容得过问,但他们常常不在意的影响到了我们。尤其是打战的时候,不管冷场热战,都多多少少的刺激到我们。

我在这里做女儿的,只能察颜观色,一切静观其变。只要妈开心就行了。那时我还不知道我已经被对爸爸的玉琢子收买。

上班的时候,我每天对着那些手饰,还没动到偷窃的念头,直到有一天 ….

第 11 章

上车的时侯,忽然遇到先前的那个男人,我真的吓了一大跳。本以为换了工作,不同地点上车下车,不可能会遇到那大个只。这回我不敢再坐同样的位置,硬硬站着。

“你的脑子有没有问题?” 有个声音在我耳边响着。我肯定是那个大个只,我不睬他,“讨厌!”我心里应了一声。

”车上这么多位置,为什么一定要罚站?“ 大个只说。

我不能跟他说我讨厌他,因为那是很不礼貌的,而老实说,他并没有得罪过我。

”你为什么一直跟踪着我?“我开始审问他。

“小姐,这是公共汽车,谁都可以上,我是有买车票的。“ 大个只说。

”你到底要什么?“我忍无可忍。

”我要下车了,行个方便。“ 他把身子移了过来,差点动到了我。刷刷卡,他飞快的下了车。

可是当男人下了车,我感到好像失去了什么。

明天是除夕,我肯定爸爸是会回来吃饭的。果真不错,爸爸回家了!

吃饭的时侯,爸爸问我,“你的玉琢子跑到那儿去?“我摸了摸颈项,空空如也!

从那个时侯开始,我搭私家汽车。摇啊摇,摇到外婆桥 ….

第 12 章

我的外婆去逝了,临终前,她跟我说了一句话,「天下乌鸦一般黑,交友要小心」。

我开始讨厌穿黑色。

姐姐今天不知到为什么,买了一件黑裙,我看着她把衣服挂进衣柜里。

我又开始感到茫然。

没办法打掉那失落的感觉,我动了偷窃的念头,但现在面临的问题是,“应该偷哪一件的好?”

晚上睡不着的时候,我翻来覆去,拿定主意,决定偷小店的。姐姐的的蝴蝶项链,她是一直戴在身上的,没这么容易拿开。

礼物店里面的手饰,零零碎碎,至少有三十多件,每件亮晶晶,看得我眼花缭乱,我闭着眼睛,随手抓了一件,放在皮包里面,回家才奖赏自己。

爸爸今天又来吃饭了。

“你今天收获很大,“ 爸爸一面夹菜一面开口,“

”是的爸,我今天领了薪金。”

”明天戴给我看,“爸爸说。

这时,不得不从实招认,“是的爸,在巴士车上给人偷走了,”

“偷还是强?“爸爸问。

这问题很难做决定,是我先开口跟大个只讲话的。

在厕所里,我刚好看到姐姐的蝴蝶,马上行动,归为己有。

第 13 章

晚上睡觉的时侯,把姐姐的蝴蝶放在枕头下,我躺在上面,摸着睡觉。

第二天上班的时候,看到一件玉琢子在礼物店里面,我马上打电话回家给姐姐,通知一声。

”你一定是看错了,不可能是同一件东西。“姐姐说。

不得要领,我决定拿礼物店看到的那件自己的玉琢子,带回去给姐姐看,这回我把他当为物归原主,不能算偷。因为那玉琢子,本来就是我的。

一个星期过侯,爸爸叫我辞职,我照章行事。

我把姐姐的蝴蝶戴在身上,自己的玉琢子收起来,示威给姐姐看。姐姐没反应。

妈则好像对我好了很多,还对我虚常问暖,“你在小店还好吧?“

我不敢跟妈说我已经不干了,但没钱吃饭,只得问爸爸要钱,打电话给爸,爸爸说,“你把东西拿来,我帮你解决。“

平时不开口的弟弟晓帆,今天冷冷的说,“你还是别让妈妈知道你上班的事情。“

我有点心亏,低了头,慢慢吃我的鳗鱼。

忽然间,妈开了口说,“晓萍,你为什么今天这么有胃口?”

晓萍是姐姐的名字。

我好像被打了一针,忽然清醒过来,马上转向爸爸求救。爸爸说,“乖女儿,吃饭吧?“ 再加上一句,“晓帆,等一下别忘记给姐姐切苹果吃。“

晚上,爸爸出了门之后,我愣愣的坐在房间里面,等弟弟的苹果。还好,弟弟没有忘记。

第 14 章

没了工作,只好呆在家里,姐姐已经毕业了,但还没找到工作。我也从此没有看到偷了我的玉琢子的大个只。

现在正好是夏天,风和日丽,也是结婚的佳日。对,姐姐宣布要结婚了,对像不外是别人,正是伟强。我终于明白为什么他总是不睬我。当然,姐姐比我漂亮,他选择了姐姐,我只能做失恋的小妹。唯一感到开心的是,妈给姐姐的蝴蝶项链落在我的手里。

可爱的是,妈最近总是喊我做晓萍。为了想讨个吉利,我也生吞这只死猫,敢敢的应了过去。

弟弟却完全不理我。每回他听到我应妈的时候,总是切一粒苹果捧上来,我照吃不误。

直到有一天,我看到姐姐吃了我的半粒苹果。

我了解她的暗示,马上脱下蝴蝶项链,丢回给她。

决定再找一份差事,慢慢存钱,用自己的能力,买一件像样的玉。

爸爸又出现了,他在姐姐的婚礼上,做了征婚人,我也做了伴娘,生活开始有转机。姐姐不在家里,妈对我也比较亲了。

但我找来找去,还是找不到一份像样的工作,高不成,低不就,我也甘心在家里的时间,可以陪陪妈妈,趁机学习几道菜,然后煮给爸爸吃。可是,自从姐姐嫁到隔壁之后,爸爸没有回来过。

梁阿姨现在变成我的亲戚了,是姐姐的家婆。我看到伟强时,必须喊声“姐夫“。连跟伟烈谈恋爱的机会也少了几成。您想想,姐妹俩人都嫁给同一家俩兄弟,可笑坏人了!

姐姐不只抢了我的偶像,也弄到爸爸不回来看妈和我。只有小弟不在乎。小弟现在已经小学毕业了。进了一间名校。

我呢,还在等待白马王子的出现。

第 15 章

我在寻职上的运气,一直没有变化,每天负责煮饭给妈妈吃,煮到手都出泡泡了,爸爸还没回来。

就在出其不意的时侯,爸爸出现了。

喜出望外的是,爸爸带了一份礼物给我,打开一看,原来是件玉环。我马上送了爸爸一个飞吻,让妈把玉环插进手里,独自鉴赏。以前在礼物店里看到的玲玲朗朗,曾˙暗自学习,略知一二,所以是翡翠还是假货,我大概大概看得出。

但戴着玉环洗碗,是真的很不方便。

我开始痛恨珠宝。

我决定把玉环买掉,一来可以赚回成本,二来可以知道爸爸的经济状况,同时询问爸爸的藏身处。看看是不是真的要通过那个珠光宝气的女人那里,才能见到爸爸。

来到了当铺,看见老板,他说这里只能收金品,其他的一概不收,我的玉环,不能上市。我看着他把玉环重新塞回我的手里,心里很懊恼,原来玉是不可以变卖的。怪不得爸爸送玉给我。

“为什么不早说呢?现在麻烦您帮我戴回去。“ 我生气了。

可老板一点儿也不怕,他定定的看着我,孔了一声,马上转身走开,我看着他走到一间大大的橱柜,我呆在那儿,只能做出一个愚蠢的决定,即刻把玉环收起来。回到家,找小弟帮我把他戴上,以免妈看了心寒。

小弟跟我戴玉环的时候问我,“二姐,你好像瘦了?”

我问晓帆,“你可以帮我洗碗碟吗?”

“不可以,男人是不可以进厨房。”弄了一个鬼脸,他跑掉了。

我开始感到亲情的脆落。

第 16 章

我今天上了班。地点是在旧班公室附近。这回,我故意期待那大个只,他可能还没有变卖我的玉琢子,说不定还会还给我。我对自己说,如果他这回出现,我就对他笑,再问他是什么名子。

今天在车上,我看到一个靠窗的位置,不过是比较前面,我等了好久,都等不到大个只的影子。

可到了第三天,他又出现了。

这回,我是喜出望外,一点儿也不觉得他讨厌。反儿渴望他坐在我的旁边。但他好像没有看到我一样。他旁边的位子是空着的,我拿定主意,跑到他那里,大大方方的坐了下来,还怕他不知道我的存在,咳了几下,然后用手推了他一下。

男人转过身来,好像从来没有见过我一样,“为什么找我?“

”找你?你有没有搞错?“我马上应他。

偷了东西还不认,这男人到底有没有良心?心里暗暗自语。

我挖遍了整个头脑,想找出一句骂他的话,终于开了口,“我家里没饭给你吃,” 也不知到为什么会这样说。这不是粗话。

”我自己会煮,不必劳烦你妈妈,” 男人说。

他怎么知道我没煮饭?

”我很会炒菜,你几时有空过来?“

“现在?“

“对,马上!“ 我很爽快。

到站了,我们俩人一起下车。男人牵着我的手,摇啊摇,摇到外婆桥 ….

妈正在家里等我吃饭,我已经迟了一个小时。

“回来这么晚,饭都凉了” 妈说。

第 17 章

早上一早起来,妈就叫我去买菜。我很不愿意,原因是巴刹里都是鱼呀, 鸡呀, 菜呀,之类的东西,比人还多,而且地上总是湿湿的,一不小心,就会滑倒。我慢慢的喝了咖啡,穿上最难看的上衣,再加上了一件最烂的裤子,慢条斯理,用最长的路线,从家里绕过隔壁,终于站在巴刹入口。

巴刹有三四个入口,我每回总是选择最靠近的,在那儿有一个游戏场。看到几个小孩在哪儿嬉戏,我不免想到姐姐晓萍,不知道她几时会生个娃娃给我玩。

现在姐姐已经搬出去住了,家里只剩下小弟和我,如果我先结婚,那剩下来照顾妈的,就是晓帆了。我今年刚好二十一岁,已到结婚的年龄,但还是不想结婚。不是不想,是没有适合的对像。

我也不知道为什么不喜欢大个只,可能是因为不见了玉琢子,一定要找到了才干愿。他跟我出去了这么多次,始终没还给我。一定是拿去变买了,要不然,一定是送了给别个女孩。

所以今天,“你把我的东西放到哪儿去了?”我一见面就开口。

“先坐下,什么东西?“ 男人问。

“还假装,偷了东西还不认,真可恶!“ 我骂。

“小姐,你有没有认错人?我不可能偷你的东西!你有没有报警?”大个只问。

“没有,“ 我马上回答,那是标准答案。

“太好了,明天我还给你。“ 那肯定是他偷了,要不然他不回那么说。我开始用手摸摸戴在身上的玉环。

难道他现在想还想偷我的玉环?心里想着,然后不管三七二十一,马上拔腿而逃。

回到家,洗了个手,冲了凉,才甘心跟小弟讲话。

弟弟正在厨房切菜,看到我,马上把刀放下,把身子让开,目的是要我接下去,搬他切完。我看了看那片黄瓜,用手摸了一下,冷冷的,好像是刚从冰厨出来。我不经意的,直觉把它放在水龙头底下,冲了一冲,用水再洗一次。

晓帆看在眼里,一句话也不说。

第 18 章

爸爸今天从外面回来了,我好高兴,但他还带了一个客,是一条小狗。

“他的名字叫做小黑,“爸爸说。 “他一点也不黑,是小白,“我回应爸爸·。

“不管是黑是白,总而原之,这条狗从现在开始,是你的责任。”爸爸把小黑塞给我,再加上一条链子,长长的,好漂亮的红色。

我马上把链子绑住小黑,然后把他放在地下,原来是男的。

“别让他跑掉。“爸爸再三强调。

第 19 章

从此开始,我每天六点左右,都带着小黑到楼下的 void deck 散歩。

而大个只自从那天见面之后,好像没有再出现了。我打断了找回玉琢子的念头,所谓破财消灾,一定会有喜事出现。

果然,不出我所望,我申请的一间珠宝商店,因为我有在酒店的前例,要我第二天到公司应征。我第一个念头就是,应不应该带着爸爸送的玉环去会面。

讲到这里,我已经忘了到底玉琢子是不是真得给大个只偷了。

可是,我只能在规定时间戴着玉环,每天必须要上巴刹,巴刹里人多菜多,万一不小心,弄粹了玉环,就不好办了。

所以,我改变地点,决定到超级市场买货。

现在的超市,需要客户自己带纸袋,我找翻了整个橱柜,只能找到一个马马虎虎像样的灰色袋子,我一手拿着袋子,一手圈着小黑,慢慢的绕过隔壁,来到超市入口。

经过隔壁时好像看到姐姐晓萍在煮菜。

第 20 章

今天是星期天,我一大早就起来了。我把小黑绑在门口的柱杆上,进了超市。在超市,一切排得整整齐齐,所有的东西,都包得密密麻麻,货不透风,我推着手推车,看到了一个很美的西瓜,马上丢进推车,再抓了几样菜,加上一包辣椒,把车推到收银处。

收账小姐一句招呼都没,第一句就是,“你要不要纸袋?”

我把手上预先拿着的,向她摇一摇,表示不必。

小姐在准备刷我的卡的时侯,我好像看到她的颈项有一条玉,一刹那,跟我失踪的那件,没有分别,我差点申手把它抽出来,忽然间,有一个声音在耳边响起,

“来,让我还吧!“

我转身一看,不外是别人,正是大个只。

”为什么你又跟踪到这里来了?“我开始大声的问。

”谁说我不能来这里?“男人也大声的回答。

到这里,我已经完全清醒了,他分明是在耍我游戏。但我不知道谁给他这么大的胆子,他好像不怕我会跟别人投诉。

“你快把东西还给我!”我大声的喊。

“东西戴在小姐的身上,你怎么能说我拿了!“

他用手势,指了一指收账小姐。

我气得头上冒烟,把手推车给忘了,直接从超市门口冲出去,里面选过的货,全部忘记。

小黑已经等得不耐烦了,在柱杆下吠得好大声。

我走上前去,把小黑拿开,有了小黑,走路不能够太快,只有慢条斯理。摇啊摇,摇到外婆桥 …..

“回来这么晚,饭都凉了” 妈说。

第 21 章

我又需要到超市了。这回是因为家里的鱼吃完了。通常我最喜欢买没骨的鱼。原因是因为我不喜欢在鱼里挑骨头。有些鱼,实在是太多骨头了。

到了超市,直接走到卖鱼的摊位,选了一条鱼,放在老伯伯面前,老伯伯问,

“您需要洗吗?“

“洗什么?“我傻傻的问。

“当然是洗鱼啊,难道是洗澡吗?“ 我马上接口,“您有肥皂吗?”

老伯伯生气了,把鱼丢给我,“你的,慢慢用御吧。”

感到万分的不干愿,但还是把鱼拿回来,毕竟是我选的,不能让别人拿去。

来到收账小姐面前,她又为难我了。我不明白,超市里有这么多人,每天进进出出,她为什么会记得我?!

还是一个招呼也没有,“袋纸?“

这回她连整个句子也不肯说,直截了当。果真没礼貌,还是跟我太熟了?

我决定先开口,“你没看到我是没有纸袋的吗?多此一问。“

”小姐,您怎么这样没礼貌?“不是小姐的声音,又是大个只的声音。

这个人怎么这么阴魂不散。

没法子,是我沉不住气,先对收账小姐发脾气的。

“让我刷卡吧。“大个只说。

为了不要让收账小姐收集我的资料以便投诉,我不得已,让大个只还钱。

大个只准备帮我拿杂货,“不必了,” 我大大声说。

“讲话温柔一点,别这么大声,“ 听起来好像是威胁。

“你别拉我的手,“ 我马上回应。

“大姐,那天可是你心干情愿的啊?“

我不开口,但暂时还想不到应该怎么把人情还给他。马上把手伸进皮包,“刚才是多少钱?”

“小孩子别问这样多。“ 大个只回答。

这回他没喊我做大姐了,我马上回应他,“好吧!” 我说。说实在的,他年纪比我大,给他叫我做大姐,是极不吉利的。

拿着杂货,我故意走慢一点,好让大个只一起走。到了红灯转弯处,回头一看,大个只已经不见了。

我开始感到失落。

第 22 章

今天是礼拜天,吃早餐的时侯,妈问我,“你为什么没有上班?”

我不知道该怎么回答,已经失业好久了,只是没有跟妈说而已。

”妈,今天是礼拜天,公司是没有开班的,“

妈看着我,好像不知道我在讲什么。弟弟马上开口,“姐,妈妈在忙着,你别打扰她。你快要迟到了,快点去搭车上班吧!“

弟弟的语气,好像是强逼性的,我只能照办,放下筷子,马上进房间拿皮包,再走出门口。

到了车站,东张西望,没看到什么人,连苍蝇都没有一只。

但我真的没有地方可以去,也不知道搭那一辆车最好。看到 186号,马上把手伸出来,然后用手掏进腰包,准备拿巴士卡出来。

找来找去,巴士卡没有,只有一张信用卡,是置地国际银行的。我一脚站在车上,另一只还在地上,车夫看着我,对我说,

“小姐,您怎么这么慢,全辆车三十五人,只等你一个,“

”你怎么知道车上准准有三十五个人?“ 一把声音在我耳边响起。

这回我不必看了,那把声音太熟系了,是大个只!他怎么知道这个时间我会在这里?难道他买通了弟弟?

但事实上我心里暗自高兴,马上上车,刷了卡,找了个位置,又是靠窗的。以为大个只会跟上来,谁知道,扫遍了整辆车,都看不到他。

往外看,车外的风景,完全不一样,有没有搞错?难道车夫走错路线?我的头脑忽然间醒来,“哎呀,我坐的是 186 号!”

通常去上班,我总是坐 165 号。现在路线完全不一样,我跟本不知道怎么回家。马上跑到车夫前面,

“请问,要到梅山路,到底怎么去?“

”您不是刚刚从梅山路上车的吗?“ 车夫问。

”哦,对不起,我问错了!“

”小姐,刚才不是有个男人跟你在一起的吗?他到哪儿去了?“

“我正要问你,你有没有看到他上车?“ 我马上追问。

“我那里知道,我只负责驾车,只要听到刷卡的声音就行了。“

“够了够了,现在你马上让我下车。“ 我急起来了。

“不行,现在还不到站,你以为这是私家汽车啊?“

不得要领,我转向车内的人求救,可是每个人都看着车外,好像什么都不知道。

站了好像一个世纪,终于等到车停了,我卡也没刷,就直接下车了。

下了车,我好不容易,上了天桥,再走了一段不长不远的路,才来到对面的车站。幸好,这里的车线,没有问题,同样的 186 号,可以带我回家。

但这回我只能搭 Grab, 因为我的巴士卡不见了,是大个只帮我还的。

今天到此为止,没有出严重的差错。

第 23 章

爸爸最爱喝啤酒,他每餐可以喝上三四罐,而且每次都怂恿我喝,苦苦的,我不喜欢啤酒的味道。可弟弟不同,他每回都跟爸爸一起喝。我只知道妈的厨房里,啤酒总是收了许多罐,买了又买,每次买到剩下四罐的时候,爸爸总会现身。难道妈会做魔术?

我对喝茶倒比较感兴趣,最近爱上了一种很特别的茶叶,也不知道叫什么名子,总而言之,是好喝就对了。但这茶叶是爸爸带回来的。 直从喝了这茶叶之后,就没有再跟大个只见面了。

讲到这里,我确实是很想念他。

最后碰面的两次机会,他都没有跟我一起回家,我好气恼。他倒底是不是喜欢我的?如果不是的话,那为什么他来拉我的手?

真的有点生气了,我想跟弟弟投诉,叫他替我报仇。

“有一个男人占了我的便宜,“ 我开口对弟弟说。

“什么样的男人这么大胆,他叫什么名字?“ 弟弟反应很快。

“他叫大个只,“ 我傻傻的说。

“天啊!他连什么名字你都不知道?“

“他没跟我说嘛!“ 我傻傻地回答。

“他不跟你说,你应该问,“ 弟弟骂我。

“他有没有拿你的钱?“ 弟弟问。

“钱是没拿,但东西是给他偷了,“ 弟弟说。

“什么东西?”弟弟问。他一像来是非常好奇的。

“我的手饰,但他有还钱,“ 我反而帮大个只辩护。

”手饰值多少,他还多少?“ 弟弟比较实际。

我想了想,还得不够,毕竟钱不是问题,我要的是我的玉琢子。虽然我已经有了玉环补救。

最后,弟弟转变话题,“爸爸回来的时候你再问他吧!” 

我正想回答的时候,妈转来一声,“晓萍,你到底出去买菜了没有?”

第 24 章

姐姐自从嫁了过去梁阿姨那里,没有回来过,我们家里也没什么在意,反正她只在隔壁,随时都可以找得到。我已经知道她几点煮饭,只要在固定的时间里,绕到她的窗口,不但可以见到姐姐,还可以问她煮什么菜。

通常我是配合姐姐的六点去带小黑散歩。

小黑是很乖的,从不随便乱吠。可今天,正当我经过姐姐哪儿的时候,小黑吠了起来。我停住了脚步,到处张望,只见到了伟强,没了姐姐。

“姐夫,姐跑到哪儿去了?“

“没事,今天我煮饭。“

“你爸爸还好吧?“ 伟强继续问。

“已经好久没来了,“ 我有点胀然。

“好的,待回儿我叫妈妈跟他说。“ 伟强回答。

这跟本是捉奸在床!还不想认?我心里想着。 因为如果爸爸不是跟梁阿姨在一起的话,那怎么只有梁阿姨才找得到爸爸。

我敢紧把小黑拉紧,带他绕了一个小圈,便回家了。然后,马上进厨房数啤酒,一共两罐。我想都没想,立刻到超市买多六罐。

这回,我自己 checkout, 没遇着那不喜欢我的收账小姐,松了一口气。拿着六罐啤酒,肯定爸爸是很快就会回来的。我轻轻松松的,边走边唱。摇啊摇,摇到外婆桥 …..

第 25 章

爸爸真的回来了。妈一看到爸爸就说,“晓萍,快倒茶,”我已经习惯被叫做姐姐的名字,马上走进厨房。

可这回爸爸忍不住了,“丽妃,是晓薇,不是晓萍。“

我看到妈好像是楞了一下。

”真正的晓萍已经怀孕了,“ 爸爸声明。 ”怀孕?这么快?“ 我吓了一大跳。

姐姐好像一月才结婚,现在还不到三月,难道是未婚先孕? 现在想起来了,姐姐在结婚前,就已经晚上常常失踪,她的蝴蝶项链,也不知道为什么放在冲凉房让我偷,一定是跟姐夫幽会时,脱了放在那边忘了戴回去。

对,那时他还是伟强,不是姐夫。 想到这里,我暗自庆幸,到底还是我乖,没跟大个只搞上关系。不过老实说,是他不要我,不是我不要他。他已经失踪两次了。我对他的感觉,是可爱又可恨。

爸爸放了这枚炸弹之后,就走了。我也马上去洗碗,准备进房间看我那本新买回来的圣经。他们说,有什么要求,向主耶稣祷告就行 了,好像很简单。

第 26 章

我已经开始习惯用祷告的方式跟妈说话,虽然妈是女人,不可能成为耶稣。  

也好像近来,我不想洗碗碟,一祷告,第二天,妈就叫弟弟晓帆干活。妈也开始叫我做晓薇了。好像什么事都没有发生过一样。

“晓薇,快来吃饭,“ 妈又喊我了。

只要用回我的原名,我什么都愿意。

“晓薇,家里没黄瓜了,“ 妈说。

“马上,“ 我应了一声,赶紧抓了皮包,到超市去。

超市里我用眼睛扫了一扫,没看到那认识的收账小姐,我赶快去拿黄瓜,顺便再拿几样菜,再顺手抓几包辣椒等几样东西,走到收银处。

排在后面的,正是大个只。但我记得好像没有求耶稣请他出现。

“小姐,我忘了带卡,您可以帮我还钱吗?“ 还是那把深沉的声音, 好熟。

我喜出望外,马上开口问,“你是什么名字?” 以免失去良机。

“在下陈文进,“ 男人大声的宣布。 然后,“您是晓薇吧!” 大个只说。

赫! 他怎么知道我的名字?!

买了杂物之后,”我们一起回家吧!” 姓陈的说。

“上回为什么你忽然间不见?” 我急不急待的问,男人已经拉住我的手。

我直觉的,把买了的杂物的纸袋交给他。

摇啊摇,摇到外婆桥 …..

第 27 章

十个月里面,可以发生很多事。姐姐终于安全的生下了一个侄女给我。 我们全家,包括爸爸和妈,都很高兴。但我现在可悲了,梁阿姨跟爸爸成了有血缘关系的亲家,爸爸可以名正言顺的和梁阿姨一起吃饭,不必躲来躲去。

我坚持到底,照长烧饭,在家里和妈,弟弟吃饭。还有,从来没有见过面的梁老伯,听姐姐说,是已过世很久了。

那梁阿姨一向来是在骂谁?

我把疑问交给陈文进,他说,“您有没有想过,她一直是在骂你的爸爸?可能她早就和爸爸在一起了!”

我和陈文进之间的感情,现在已经到了一个相见不如偶遇的地步。我也已经不太在乎我的玉琢子了,反正钱是身外物,有当然好,没有的话,那就算了。

爸爸给我的玉环,我已转交晓帆保管,不太愿意戴在身上。 而且,不知从那日开始,陈文进差不多每天都到我们家吃晚饭。

我也记不得到他几时是第一次来的。

今天吃饭时,妈问起,“文进,你在哪儿高就?”

“阿姨,既然您问起,不说也不行,我是跟周老板打工,在立化哪儿。“

“噢,原来你们是认识的,“ 妈点点头。

“那你帮我问他为什么当年叫我走?“ 妈继续。

赫! 妈以前有别的工作?一向来不都是在富华公司上班的吗?

“您是说王老板吗?“

“对啊,是那王八蛋,“

赫,妈怎么这么骂人!

一向来温文雅典的妈,从来不大声说话的妈, 竟然开口骂人,我马上转身向弟弟求救,

“你马上到厨房切一粒苹果给我,“

想用老爸的一惯作风,以为弟弟 一定会照办。 谁知道弟弟睬都不睬我,反而站起来,连盘子也不拿,直接走到自己的房间去,还顺便把门关上,气得我火冒三丈。

既然得不到弟弟的合作,我只好帮妈收拾残局,开口对陈文进说,

“先生,您到底是跟周老板打工还是跟王老板打工?“

”我不知道,“ 陈文进说。

天啊,他连跟谁打工都不知道!

我睁大眼睛看着我那带回家的男友。

他接着跟妈说,“张太太,我是跟一个老板打工,不过他是姓周还是姓王这我就不清楚了,“

岂有此理! 怎么这么说话!

我气起来,“您不是有跟他签合约的吗? 合同上是写周还是写王? “

“我好像没看清楚,” 陈文进突然间不肯跟我合作。

我转头向妈,再把眼睛向陈文进哪儿扫过去,最后定定的落在妈的身上,看着妈的反应。

妈两只眼睛眼眶子已经红了起来,看着眼泪好像要落下来了。

”Auntie,老实说,您就忘了他吧,我今天是特地为他来向您道歉的。 “ 陈文进说。

“道歉?你以为这就能解脱我这十多年来的痛苦吗?“

痛苦?妈在痛苦?  

”这几年来,我身在水深火热之中,一个亲人也没有,孩子也生了,你到底要怎么赔赏我?“ 妈说。 

”稍等一下,您是在骂我? 我不是王老板。“

”那你就是周老板了,他到底死了没有?“

“昨天晚上我刚刚跟他吃饭,” 陈文进说。

“他到底在哪里? 可不可以带我去找他?” 妈又柔和了。

“赵啊姨,您不是刚刚说我是他了吗?” 陈文进说。

“而且,您不是说他欺负您了吗? 为什么还要去找他?” 陈文进础础逼人。

“我要当面跟他说清楚,好做一个了结。”

“Auntie,我看您还是死了这条心吧! 人死不能复生。” 陈文进说。

“那就是说他死了!” 妈忽然间又好像很高兴。

“我没这么说,老板娘。” 陈文进又再次声明。

“什么老板娘,我不是你的老板娘,我是他的旧情人,说得不好听,是老相好。”

“好的,老相好,您几时要来跟我见面都可以,或者,我答应每天都来跟您吃饭。”

“明天你要我煮怎么样的菜?” 妈应。

糟糕! 我心里想着,妈只会煮三芭辣椒,菜是我炒的,饭是弟弟做的,大个只吃了一次,可能就永远不会再来我家了。

我马上说,“妈,您不是要上班的吗?”

妈好像忽然间醒了过来,说了声哎哎,就从新拿起筷子,继续吃刚才停顿了的饭。

我则对着大个只,不,陈文进,说,“我们等一下到哪儿看戏?”

“看,看,看什么戏? 戏院里有鬼!” 陈文进说,好像很生气。

“我明天要到公司上班,你们自由活动吧!” 妈说。

我听了好高兴,马上转头问陈文进,“ 明天你要到哪儿?”

“我刚才不是说过了吗? 明天要到外婆家吃饭。”

赫! 陈文进几时生了一个外婆?他好像跟我说过,他的外婆已经死去好久了!

第 28 章

新年百花齐放,转眼间已经过了一年。

陈文进还是没有跟我结婚。

姐姐今天被赶回娘家, 我见到她的时候,心里暗自高兴。

因为如果她跟伟强闹离婚的话,我就可以乘虚而入,顺便认养一个女儿。您想想,不必自己生的孩子,多方便!

我晚上吃饭的时候,开口问妈,“妈,生孩子是不是很痛?”

妈说,“哪里,生孩子哪里会痛?生孩子是不痛的。”

“噢,哪我一定要至少生三个,”

“你不是说要晓萍的孩子吗?” 妈说。

”那妈请您帮个忙,帮我弄姐姐离婚,“我说。

”这么毒,果真是我赵丽妃生的孩子,“ 妈第一次夸我。

”那我们应该怎么下手?“

”快点去切一粒苹果,要绿色的,“

”家里好像没有,“ 我答。

”那还不快去买?“ 妈催说。

”行,我这就去,“ 我大声的应着。

今天晚上,陈文进没来我家吃饭。

我也没有去找他,只念了一章圣经,就迷迷糊糊的睡着了。

买回来的绿苹果躺在冰箱里面,一共六粒。

第 29 章

”做人要言出必行,小姐,您即然已经说了要晓萍的孩子,那你就非照顾秀瑞不可,”妈好像是在下命令。

我向来很听妈的话,可这回我有反应了,“妈,我如果有了孩子,那就没有借口跟陈文进结婚了,“ 我说出真心话。

”你的文进,是真的想娶你,还是只是玩玩的呢?“妈问。

”当然是真的,要不然,他为什么每天来找我,到我们家吃饭?“

”你有没有想到,他可能是喜欢我们家烧的菜?“

”那好,下个礼拜我叫他带我去外面吃,“我突然间醒了过来。

讲到这里,我马上跑进厨房选衣服,翻来覆去,只找一件像样的粉红上衣,我选了一件黑裙,再拉了一条红色的衣带,感到满意了之后,把衣服放进冲凉房,打算明天穿给陈文进看的时后,暗示他说,

“如果不立刻跟我结婚的话,那就永远都不必了!“

第二天,陈文进照常来我家吃饭,夹菜的时候,不知道为什么妈多给陈文进加了一粒蛋,我看在眼里,非常不舒服。等他回家了之后,马上进冲凉房把粉红色的上衣,脱下来送进洗衣机里。再决定换成蓝色。

我对配色有点研究,即然是蓝配黑裙,那就要拉上一条黄衣带才能算整齐。但衣柜里没有黄色,我只好跟妈要钱买。我的零用钱已经给妈锁住了。

还好,妈还没睡觉,敲门在她的房间时,妈好像也正在等我,“小姐,你不是说,要黄色的吗?这里有了!”

我当时,真的是太兴奋了,差点想下跪,但妈先开口说,“结婚的时候才来这一套吧,现在是七月,不宜婚嫁。”

“谁说我想要跟陈文进结婚?“ 我大声的应了一句,便转回房里。

第 30 章

有了一套美丽的衣裳,我急不急待的马上在第二天陈文进来我家的时候,穿起来给他看,文进也很会讲话,马上开口赞我,

”晓薇,你今天穿得很美。“

我马上开口,“今天我们到外面吃吧,您好像有话跟我说。“

“没有啊,“ 姓陈的说,再接下去,

“如果要说的话,什么不可以在妈面前说?“

这回我生气了,“难道要我们俩个不清不白的过日子吗?”

“小姐,您说什么不清不白?我们俩什么都没做过,只是拉手而已,“

“拉手也算数的啊!“我大声的说。

“那好吧,你要我怎么做?”

说到这里,我火气大了,“即然你这么说,我们还是分手吧!”

“分手这么容易的吗?“陈文进也火了。

“那你要怎么样?“ 我开口说。

陈文进把头转向妈,“妈,您说这晓薇,今天是怎么样的呢?“

妈静静的不出声,只是把菜夹给我,说声,“算了吧,晓薇,男人整条街都是,你何必一定要嫁给文进?”

我急得眼眶都红了,拚命的大粒大粒的把饭吞进嘴里,饭吃完了之后,立刻站起身来,把椅子推开,连桌上的饭碗都不顾,就离开餐桌。

那王八蛋的陈文进还大大声的喊我,“小姐,你好像还没吃完,“

到了房间,我马上把门锁住,再把所有的手饰拿掉,坐在书桌,开始写绝书:

“本人张晓薇和陈文进先生,因为意见不和,在不得已的情况下,只能分手,不便之处,请多多原谅。“

我读了一遍,决定明天到报馆登报声明。

但奇怪的是,过了整整半个小时,还没有人敲门,他们好像都不理我了。

我把衣服换掉,没洗脸,就上床睡觉了。

第 31 章

蒙蒙懂懂的睡了一夜,我从晚上八点,睡到早上八点,足足睡了十二个小时,醒来的时后,也没有洗脸,想出去看个究竟。

客厅里面,一个人影也没有,只有昨晚的剩餐,还摆在桌上。

很好奇,我再进妈的房间看看,妈也不在里面,相反的,客厅里却来了一个稀客,是伟强。

“您是来找姐姐的吧!“我问他。

“不是,“ 他说,“ 我是特地来找你的,”

“找我干嘛?“ 自从他跟姐姐结婚的时候,我已经完全放弃伟强。

“我是来跟你告别的,”伟强说。

“告别?您要出国?“ 我问他。

“是的,我希望你能好好的帮我照顾秀瑞。“ 伟强这么对我说。

“姐姐呢?“ 我再问。

“她昨晚跟陈文进走了。“

“什么?“ 我吓了一跳,只差没有晕倒。

“姐姐向来都没有跟我谈到过文进!“ 我对伟强说。

“不露声色,那才危险!“ 伟强说。

“那你打算怎样?”我问伟强。

“当然是离婚啦!难到等他俩生孩子出来给我看?“ 伟强很坚定。

“他俩到底有没有过上床?“ 我紧张的问。

“我没有看到,“ 伟强说。

“那秀瑞呢?她不要了?“ 我敢快问。

“她是私奔了,当然没有带孩子啦!“ 伟强说。

我喜出望外,马上对伟强抛了一个眉眼,跟着说,“妈叫我请你今晚来这儿吃饭,“

”她几时跟你说的?“ 伟强问。

”妈出去买菜了,临走前交待我,“ 我说。

”好吧!“ 伟强答应。

第 32 章

姐姐不在,那负责照顾秀瑞的,当然落到我们娘家的身上。家里有了小孩,我更加有了一个借口不用上班。

伟强除了那天说要走之外,其实并没有走,还照样住在隔壁。可能是妈留住他吧。

而我,可到底我没生过孩子,不是亲娘,孩子哭的时候,跟本不知道她到底要什么。在这重要关头,总不得求救于伟强。

敲了大半天的门,伟强才应声,“你要什么?”总是这句开场白。

”孩子哭了!“ 我说。

”喂奶啊!“ 伟强。

”她好像不要,“ 我说。

”我不知道,她一直是在你那儿,“  孩子的爸说。

“好吧,让我抱一抱,“ 然后升手。

很奇怪,伟强一接手,哭声就停止了。

我总是乘这个机会,跟伟强聊天,直到他累了,把秀瑞还给我。

就这样,我的侄女成了我们之间的联络中心。

第 33 章

不知不觉,时间过了一年,这一年之内,晓萍闻声不响,好像完全失了踪的一样。妈有了孙女,也好像没那么在乎姐姐。

但我和伟强的感情,始终停留在姐夫小妹的份上,谈不出个所以然来。我感到非常的失望。我每回把秀瑞交给他处理的时候,只有一个目的,就是想探听他在外面有没有找到新的女朋友。

最近两天,伟强好像很晚回家,他家房间的灯晚上都没开着,我估计他一定是还没回来。想来想去,找不到借口去敲门,只能又再把秀瑞当理由,去碰个运气。

“姐夫,“  我在这种情况下,通长以亲属关系为题,来个开场白,以表示是公事。

“秀瑞找你,“ 我说。

“不是你照顾她的吗?”好像不太欢迎。

“没有,你几天没看她了,“ 我接着说。

“那好,我开门吧!“ 伟强的声音。

门卡了一声,马上打开了。

灯一亮,客厅里坐了一女人,面容肖像,长得很像姐姐,比我这个做亲妹妹的还多了一届。

我知道他们俩马上要干什么。

“你 …. 你怎能这样?“ 我大大声的骂。

“怎么样了?晓薇?“ 伟强问。

”姐姐 … 姐姐是会回来的,你怎么可以对不起她?“

“小姐,我什么地方对不起你的姐姐了?是她先出走的。她做初一,我做十五。”男人回答说。

“那即使姐姐不在,应该轮到我才对,“ 我大声的责备伟强。

“你这是什么疯话?“ 男人比我还大声。

我眼夸红了红,抱着秀瑞,转身跑回家去。

妈还没睡觉,我一五一十的把过程叙述给她。

“让他吧!我们管不了这么多,“ 妈说。

第 34 章

晚上吃了饭,心中七五八十的洗了碗,马上躲进房间。把圣经从床底下的柜子拿出来,我重施故技,再开始祷告,请求上帝阻止他们俩个人的关系发展,再进一步切除他俩之间的感情。心中喃喃有词的我,昏昏入睡….

果然不出我所料,过了一星期之后,我回家的时侯,看到伟强坐在大厅中央,脸色暗淡,好像输了钱一样。

开口问他,“你怎么了?”

“她跑了,“ 伟强说。

太好了,我心里暗自高兴。

”连我的皮包也跑了,“ 他接着。

”破财消灾,“ 我尽量说好话。

女人走了,我念的经好灵。

你要不要我补给你?那好像是我当前应该讲的话。

”补?那倒不必。但借,你行不行?” 伟强说,

既然是我先开口的,我不得不答应。可我银行里的数目,归妈管,我散钱又不多,想来想去,不知道去哪里挖钱,只好随便点点头敷衍他。

但直从那晚开始,我从死追的政策,转变成避难为妙,只要远远看到伟强,马上换另一个方向走。

第 35 章

就这样,伟强跟我之间的感情,终于告一个段落。

本来钟爱侄女的我,现在更加爱护秀瑞。

就这样过了没有四季的春天,我已经忘了秀瑞原本不是我的小孩。伟强也没主动向我要孩子。他不过来,我也不过去。

陈文进呢,自从那天我写了一封没人看过的绝书,好像失踪了,也没过来我家吃饭。家里静悄悄的,只有妈,晓帆和我,跟秀瑞。我只负责照顾秀瑞,没事的时候,帮忙做家务,抹一抹地,烫一烫衣服,跟一个家庭主妇没什么两样,生活蛮写意的。

可好景不常在,秀瑞的妈妈,不,姐姐回来了。

她第一句话,不是问侯妈,也没谢谢我代她照顾小孩,而是,

“爸叫我把秀瑞带走。“

“为什么?她好好的,为什么要带走?“ 还有,

“爸几时跟你说的?“ 妈问。

“当然是你们不在的时候,不信你自己问他。“

“晓萍,我们没有讲话,这你是知道的,“ 妈说。

“但他确实是这样跟我说,“ 姐姐大声的回答,好像怕我没听见。

”文进呢,晓薇,你把文进喊回来,“ 妈向我开口。

”𫫇,“ 我嘴里应着。心里却有另一个打算。

如果陈文进回来,那他可以充当孩子的父亲,我们就干脆把秀瑞当成我跟文进生的孩子,跟姐姐打一场官司。反正姐姐和我身上流着同一样的血液,说不定亲子验定出来的报告,会证明我是亲娘。

说来说去,还是爸爸的错,为什么他会遇到姐姐,是巧合,还是故意的呢?

第 36 章

是摊牌的时候了。爸爸也不知道是谁请他,晚上竟然出现在餐桌上。姐姐则从昨晚,没回去过。

”嘉斌,你来了正好。” 妈对着爸爸说,

“你真的要秀瑞吗?” 妈面对姐姐,开口问。

”当然要的,是我的孩子。” 姐姐斩钉截铁的应。

”照顾孩子,需要多少时间和精力,你知道吗?” 妈再问。

这时,文进也出现了,这里好像背后有一个导演般,贵人一个接一个出场,只差一个伟强。

”人都到齐了没有?” 妈问。

那一直站在门口的伟强,现在进来了。

”文进是不可能跟晓萍结婚的。” 妈大声的宣布。

”为什么?” 伟强奇怪的问。

“因为他俩是兄妹。”  妈正式宣布。

妈这一说,好像宣布世界第三次大战爆发一样,个个原封不动,被定了死刑。

“丽妃,你这何苦呢?都过了这么多年了,” 爸爸开口,

”那是为他们好,迟早他们是应该知道的,” 妈回答。

这时,一直躺在摇篮里的秀瑞,哇哇的大大声,哭了起来。

姐姐三步作两步,冲了过去,把小娃抱了起来,”乖,别哭,妈妈在,” 头凑到女儿的脸上。

我看在眼里,好难受。

伟强不甘示弱,”晓萍小姐,这孩子,你不是不要的吗?怎么忽然母爱伟大啦?” 好像嘲讽。

终于,妈开口了,”你们俩个,为了孩子,不要再吵了,晓萍只是在教堂宿舍住了一阵子,她没有跟任何人私奔。”

“怪不得你这样喜欢吃妈烧的菜!” 我恍然大悟,看着文进。

”既然你现在知道了真相,不如你来哥哥的家住,我介绍差事給你,顺便介绍我的同事让你认识。” 陈文进出声了。

我当然喜出望外,作保姆的任务不幹了。

”那我们先走一步了,”。陈文进对我示意。

爸爸也说,”既然晓萍回来了,我们也全家相认,我也没有别的话说了,”

陈文进抓了我的手,直拉到外头,” 你别管他们这么多了,” 他说。

“哥,” 我改口得快,”你一早就知道妈是你的亲娘?”

陈文进没开口。

”再有,你是哪一年出世的?” 我想知道妈是先生他还是先生姐姐。

“这 …. 我不方便透露 ….” 

“那,妈的老相好周老闆是你的父亲?”  我追问下去。

”小姐,快要下雨了,我们回家再说 …. ” 陈文进没带雨伞,开始跑步。

”你第一次在巴士车上见到我的时候,就已认清了我俩的兄妹关系?” 我再追问。

我们跑啊跑的,摇到了外婆桥 ….

第 37 章

屋子里面,妈的声音,远远的传过来,”你还是回去那臭婊子的身边吧!”

“晓帆,快来切萍果,你躲到哪儿去了?” 爸爸的声音,还是我最熟悉的。

我丢下了陈文进,从新跑回家里,这时的雨,已越来越大,我全身湿湿的站在屋檐下,对着爸爸说,“我要跟你回去,“ 接着,

”这么大了,我还没有真正做过你的女儿,“ 我开始表白。

”晓薇,你现在知道了真相,也不太晚,我们一起走吧,反正你妈也可以照样过日子,晓帆可以留下来。“

就这样,我在一夜之内,换了两次亲人,从妈妈哪儿,换到哥哥哪儿,再转到爸爸身边。

爸爸也不再说什么,就好像变了另一个人一样,对我笑笑,然后就连萍果也没吃,就拉着我的手,走出了妈的家。

“落叶归根,我等这一天也等了好久了。“ 在外面的爸爸说。

“我对你和梁阿姨的关系,跟本不在乎,“ 我说。

“因为是假的啊!“ 爸爸说,“这只是一个手段而已,是用来气你妈的,”

爸说,“我只是因为你妈有了男人,才离开的,“ 

“原来妈是坏人,“ 我咣然大悟。

“总而言之,家家有本难念的经,你自己知道就好。“

“你现在没了保姆的职位,明天还是去找一份工作吧!” 爸爸永远是那么的脚踏实地。

这回,公司的表格上,我填上了父母亲的名字,再加上一栏哥哥的名字,然后名正言顺的干起差事。

他们说,血浓于水,我这次是真的相信了。我相信,没有血缘关系,陈文进也不会找上门来,我也没办法走回过去,打开心中的结。妈喜欢姐姐多于我,是因为她是妈跟周老板生的。蝴蝶项链,大概也是周老板送给妈的饰物。我是爸爸的亲生女儿,所以他送我玉佩。

“对了,爸,” 我还有一个疑问,“为什么您总是叫弟弟切萍果?”

“哦,很简单,那是因为你妈在切了萍果给我吃的时候,才跟我说她怀了晓帆。”

“这是顺便提醒她跟我之间的关系。“ 爸爸解析。

“那时她切的是绿萍果?“ 我侊然大唔。

“真聪明,“ 爸爸夸我。

我们父女就这样,摇阿摇,摇到大街上,走了几圈,再摇回妈的隔壁。

“知道为什么我不搬吗?“ 爸爸问。

“因为您还爱着妈,也因为梁阿姨漂亮,爸爸您一石二鸟,一剑双雕,” 我大大声的应。

“不愧是我的乖孩子!“ 爸爸笑笑说, “回家吧!”

从那天晚上开始,伟强搬进了妈的家,跟妈,姐姐,弟弟一起住,而我则跟爸爸,梁阿姨,一起住。伟烈和伟龙早已住进学校的宿舍,跟本不在。

他们三个男生,是不是同父同母生的呢?改天我有空的时候,再帮您问问梁阿姨吧!

The Pregnant Wife

Lying in the woods contemplating my future with Dave ….

This morning as I looked into the mirror I found that I was just an ordinary fat woman. I stared at the reflection for a while and then I told myself to hurry up as Dave was waiting for me at the Black Brewer’s House

I went to the toilet and I took the set of outfit, lying on the bathtub. There were two sets. I always prepared one, which was what I had planned for the day and then another one, in case the weather turned out to be colder for that day. 

Singapore was a hot city with temperatures ranging from 24 to 34 degrees sometimes soaring to 37 degrees when it became very hot. The humidity was so high that I could never perspire. My clothes were mainly purchased from Max Mara so that I looked good. They were pricey, but they made me looked like I was the wife of a rich man. In my line of job, I had to dress expensively.

I knew that I was late for Dave, but I was not late for work. Dave was waiting for me at the café when I arrived. Over the telephone Dave said: 

“Don’t be late,” and then “I have good news for you.” 

It was true that I was very disturbed by what he told me three days ago, so frankly I didn’t expect good news from him today. 

I needed only five minutes to powder my face after adding a touch of foundation, as I continued with my eyebrow colour, eye shadow and rouge. I didn’t have any standard sequence but usually this was the order in which I made up my face. There are only two ways to apply for an eye shadow: smoky vs. intensive. And this morning I used the intensive. Once I was satisfied that my face was generally presentable, I put on number 277. 

Number 277 was the colour code Rose Declaration for that particular lipstick. This was my favourite colour. I had several lipsticks and I changed my lipstick everyday but invariably I went back to number 277. 

I carried a lipstick with me to touch up every now and then and I didn’t buy two of the same colour so number 277 was my default lipstick. Dior staff already knew that I was buying that colour the moment I walked into the boutique. I was a regular office worker. By that I meant that my work was sedentary and using the PC most of the time. I was a secretary to an advocate and solicitor whose family law was her bread and butter. To be a secretary you needed to pass certain examinations, you had to know shorthand. 

Of course, I knew how to type, but I used the keys at random according to what I saw. I didn’t have my hands positioned on the keyboard with readiness the moment I started to type. But I typed fast, I kept long fingernails and I liked the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboards. I was fast enough to type affidavits for Bernadette Tucker. And this was what I had to do every day. 

I had to type an affidavit on a divorce case so when I agreed to meet Dave at the restaurant this morning I made him come at 7:00 a.m. 

I forgot to callBlack Brewer’s House to find out what time they opened this morning and to book a table for two. Cafes don’t usually take bookings. Dave said that he had something important to tell me at first. He didn’t say that it was good news. Now that he mentioned that it was to be good news I guessed the result. 

The file name of the affidavit was Dave Chong Seng Wee vs. Doreen Sim May Ling!

If this were the case, there was no need for Dave and myself to meet at all. We could postpone the meeting by another twelve hours to 8:00 p.m. since I already knew the result. It was not good for the both of us to be seen in public together, now that his divorce is on the cards. 

By now you must have guessed that Dave and I were not married to each other. No, we were not. But that didn’t matter. Dave and I had been having this relationship for at least eight months by now. We caught on like a house on fire. The minute Dave and I were left alone together we started to kiss. Dave was my physiotherapist and I was one of his patients. But all that had got to be changed. 

Dave had told me that he was going to divorce Doreen once he set up his new clinic in California in America. And then we were both going to move there to start our own little family. 

Until this happened. Three days ago, Dave told me that his wife Doreen was now pregnant, or so she claimed. 

“She told me that she was urine positive,” Dave informed me whilst we were at Black Brewer’s House on 21 August. 

That made things complicated. Dave was going to leave the house without letting Doreen know about it. He was going to pack his overnight bag for a three nights’ stay at Bangkok and then meet me at the Shang Palace Resort and from there we would travel up to Japan, then our final destination at California. 

I have a house in California. It was vacant at the moment and I was thinking of renting it out to some locals. But that was before Dave’s proposal came. 

Yes, Dave had proposed to me, on 9 August 2001, the National Day of Singapore. He said that this was his auspicious day, as it happened to be his birthdate as well so therefore that he was able to get himself exempted from having dinner with his mother-in-law on his birthday every time. He loathed his mother-in-law the Mrs. Sim as she always asked him to give her physiotherapy treatment which required him to kneel before her. 

Dave drunk coffee and I loved coffee. That was how we found ourselves together. I was drinking coffee in Dave’s clinic when he was teaching me the exercises I must do in order to alleviate the pain caused by my flat footedness. And then whilst demonstrating with his hands on my right foot, the cup of coffee I placed on top of his stool by the side fell onto the carpeted floor. 

The coffee had not been touched so quite a lot of liquid was spilled. Dave was operating a one-man show so naturally it became our job to clean up the mess. And then our eyes met. I couldn’t describe to you what happened next, but I could tell you that we fell in love with each other instantly. Dave had very strong hands and I liked his large muscular arms. 

Subsequently Dave told me that he started to stop dry-cleaning his clinic coat, as there was a brush of my lipstick on his collar, the number 277. Afterwards we started to see each other on alternate days. We skipped coffee and breakfast at Black Brewer’s House to be with each other for just the half hour in the mornings. That was from 9 August 2001 to today. I mentioned the dates for they were crucial in this story. 

We first met on 3 June 2001, then we made love for the first time on 29 June and then on 9 August again. Dave gave me the sapphire ring on 9 August as a token of his love. As a matter of fact, I was having it on my ring finger now. 

On 21 August, Doreen announced that she was pregnant so that made it probable that Dave and Doreen have also had sex with each other on or before 29 June, or between anywhere 29 June to 8 August, assuming that Dave stopped touching Doreen after he was engaged to me on the night of 9 August. 

This was all very speculative. And I was talking like a jealous wife when actually I was the third party. 

Never mind who I was, the important thing was that I was going to be Dave’s official wife very soon. We might not be able to get married in the States, as Dave must have been legally separated from Doreen for at least three years before he could get a divorce. We were both Singapore citizens, so the Women’s Charter applied. 

We left Singapore for Bangkok on 31 August and we arrived in Japan after six hours. After that it was an overnight flight to the U.S. 

Once we arrived at the States we could move about freely. We would not have to worry about being found together, we would be able to act as a couple. And most of all we would be able to live in the same house as man and wife. No one would bother us, and we need not bother anyone. I was prepared to be his common law wife and the sapphire ring could serve as our engagement as well as our wedding ring. 

Dave could establish himself in California and who knows, they might want to engage him as a consultant to the California Keep Fit Centre. I could get a job in another law film at the same time.

All these were just my conjecture. Of course, it was my wishful thinking that everything would turn out well for the two of us. Whether Dave was having sex with me and Doreen Sim at the same time would no longer be an issue. I didn’t blame Dave for the false alarm from Doreen. Doreen was, after all, the wife and she had every right to conjugate with Dave. 

In any case, I had no idea if Doreen were telling Dave the truth, and if Dave carried the truth to me. By now I had learnt a bit of law from Bernadette Tucker. What Dave told me from Doreen was hearsay, as I was not privy to the conversation. The fact of the matter was that Doreen might have known about my affair with Dave, which made it very inconvenient. 

I was sure that if Dave loved her he would not have slept with me. Fact that we had sex was prima facie evidence that the marriage between Dave Chong Seng Wee and Doreen Sim May Ling was over and done with. I had never met Doreen Sim, but I assumed her to be loud and bossy. 

As my thoughts were travelling with me on the train I missed the stop at City Hall. I was very annoyed with myself that I over shot to Marina South. Now I couldn’t change train, I had to go back to City Hall again and then disembark. From there I would go over to Novena. 

Novena was where my office was. I was working with Bernadette Tucker the first-class advocate and solicitor who specialized on family law. And over the years I had learnt a thing or two from her and that was why I was so familiar on calculating the conjugal dates. It was our bread and butter. 

Once I arrived at the office the work was overwhelming. Usually Dave and I didn’t communicate with each other during office-hours, as it was not necessary. We met as a matter of course on alternate days. If I were early I would get a seat first and order my own dinner and if he were early he would begin his Prawns Spaghetti with meat sauce without me. 

So today I finished my work ahead to as far as I could see for the next two months. I could resign but if Bernadette Tucker knew about my relationship with Dave, word might sneak out that I was leaving. Doreen was not a stupid woman. I knew who she was. 

So today when the day ended at 6:30 p.m. I packed my slippers to bring it home. I liked this pair of slippers very much as it was made of colorful beads. It was one of its kind from Thailand, my proposed destination, even if it was just for transit. Mrs. Tucker would not notice such a minor thing and packing of slippers did not necessarily mean that I was resigning. 

Unless I went up to her to ask her for a resume she would not have come to the conclusion that I was leaving her employ. 

I could be bringing in a new pair tomorrow. I did not have to lock the office door as Mrs. Tucker; Bernadette was still on her iMac. I took the MRT home without meeting Dave this evening again. 

The moment I arrived at the seventh floor where I lived, I could hear Rover’s bark. The dog knew that I was home. I put my key to the keyhole and turned the knob at the same time. Once I was inside, automatically I used the remote control to turn on the radio. I needed to know if the Thai Princess Yingluck had resigned. If there were still unrests in Thailand Dave and I might use the other route to the U.S. from Europe. Maybe Dave and I could consider a honeymoon in Italy and Rome first before settling down. 

My life was full of expectations and it was just beginning. And then as I was thinking of the music and the wine I stepped into the bathtub. There was no water yet. I turned on the tap to let the water fill the tub, the water was burning hot. I shouted, “Shits!” 

And then I realized that I had forgotten to switch off the water heater when I left for work this morning. 

Yes, Dave’s phone call was certainly good news. He called this morning to tell me that his wife Doreen wasn’t pregnant after the scare. It turned out to be a hoax.

And then I looked into the mirror and realized that I had put on some weight. To find out if this were true I walked slowly to the kitchen to step on the weighing machine. I saw my weight, 53.5 kg. I had always been 43.5 kg, which meant that I had put on ten kilograms. Could this be true? Was the machine spoilt? Then I stepped back and there I saw a note on the kitchen island. 

It said: 

“Congratulations Darling! The hospital rang and told me that you were pregnant! Love, hubby.” 

It was none other than my husband Ethan Ng’s handwriting.

Customer Comes First

A bouquet is never too late ….

She comes in at least once a day. 

It is not that I am observant. It is just that I always felt her presence. She does not wear perfume, so you couldn’t say that her fragrance made me notice her. You’d think that I like her. I can’t say that you are wrong. But there is nothing conspicuous about her. It is just that I notice her whenever she comes in. 

I have not told any of my colleagues that she comes in so regularly. They should know about this. But there is no cause for alarm. The drawers are locked tight, and unless you have the right keys you cannot open them. 

No, I don’t think that she is here to steal anything. She looks like any ordinary customer. She is. Yesterday she was wearing the unisex Atlaswatch, and today she is looking at the silver pearl earrings. There is no pattern to her buying. She chooses her jewels at random. 

This woman has an oriental face. And she smiles often. When she smiles, she gives you the feeling as though she has known you for a long time. I like it when she has chosen a piece and she asks me to attend to her. Sometimes Gloria helps her put on the bracelet she has chosen, and that was the most exciting time. I would place my own bet as to whether she would buy that item. Invariably, I am right. 

Today she is wearing the Atlas watch again. The Atlas watch belongs to the last season and is no longer a sales item. Our shop also carries pendants with the design of each letter of the alphabet in Apple Chancery font style in diamonds, and I always wonder when she would buy the piece with the letter “J.”

I know her name. 

Yes, we have our regular customers. And we have our irregular customers. The regulars, we memorize their names by heart, but we are told not to address them in case they didn’t like it. It is not the practice of our boutique to influence the customers in the choice of their purchase. So, we avoid calling customers by name. We recognize their faces, and we give them the service as though we were their butlers at home. 

I am not young. If you look just at my face you would guess that I am somewhere between twenty-five to thirty. But actually, I am already thirty-six. I am not married yet, and I have not been married before. Neither have I any imminent plans to marry. I don’t even have a close girlfriend. But I am not lonely. 

This job at Stephanie and Co. is my career. It occupies all of my time and energy. There is no retirement age for this job, and I thought I can work here comfortably till retirement age at sixty-two. And so, I am a happy and contented salesman. Yesterday, just before I left for work, Steve Chan, the shop manager, handed me the letter. It is a once-in-a-lifetime offer to be posted to the head office in New York. I would be made a salaried staff, and the take-home would be three times what I get here. 

Excited, this morning, I woke up at 6:00 a.m. After I dropped off at Marmalade Turn I walked into Toast Box to have my usual coffee and sandwich. Nobody disturbs me there as I read the newspapers. I wear my cheap clothes before I arrive at the boutique to change into the black jacket, black trousers, and black shoes. 

We are all given a set of jewellery to choose from, and we put them on before we start work. This week, I have the “Eternal Circle” ring, and it is really beautiful. Every time I look at it, it makes me happy. I am happy to be working here at Stephanie & Co. The jewels are nice, the shop is nice, and my colleagues are nice. 

We don’t fight over customers. We all share the same clientele. If, for example, Joyce makes more sales than me this month, it does not mean that Joyce takes home more. We are salaried staff, and we get paid a fixed sum every month. 

But there is one drawback. We are not allowed to buy the jewels in the shop. We could only wear them at work from 10:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. We are to choose our favourite for the week each Monday. And after the last customer has left, we are to surrender all our adornments to the boutique safe and go home without anything. 

I have considered resigning. Once I am no longer a staff I am free to browse around the boutique as though I were a customer, and then I could choose to buy anything I like. But I am not sure what I want to buy yet, so I hold my resignation. If I reject the offer to New York, I must resign. 

“Excuse me, can you show me this?” 

A tall and well-groomed woman dressed in a pink top and black skirt raises her voice a little. 

A man and her young child are standing by her side. I quickly walk to the counter and unlock the drawer with the key I am holding. She wants a gold bangle. The bangle has the engraved words “Stephanie & Co.” on it, so that makes it expensive. 

“How much is it?” Her husband asks. 

I know the price by heart, but I still flip over the tag before I give her the price. We are told to do so, as the act of looking at the tag gives the transaction a trade flavour. 

I allow this customer to ponder over it as she swings her right hand in consecutive motions, as though to see if the bangle will drop off by itself. Then her husband says something, and they both walk away, leaving the bangle on the glass shelf. I quickly put the bangle back in the drawer before I forget. 

You’d think that there are no thefts in this exclusive shop. No, there are. Every day, one or two items disappear. The manager Steve Chan investigates, and we have to account for our carelessness. So, the stocktaking at night is always very stressful for all of us. 

There she is again, walking around. I really don’t know what I should do with her. Shall I approach her and offer her one or two designs? Or shall I ask her out for dinner? She is, after all, very pretty, and I am still single. 

I try to stay as close as I can get to her. As she moves to the bracelet section, I go to that side of the drawers, so I can attend to her as soon as I can if she spots anything she likes. Every item here is interesting. Stephanie and Co. carries the most exclusive jewellery, and its headquarters are in New York. If I am to accept the posting to New York at all, I must move fast. I must invite her out, bringing her out of the Stephanie & Co. context so that I can speak to her in private. 

I want to tell her how pretty she is and how much I am in love with her. I want to tell her about my offer in New York, and that time is running out for the both of us. We can even start a family there and have our child born in the U.S. to get U.S. citizenship. I want to find out all about her. And I want to say now, that I am prepared to buy her the silver bracelet if she would allow me to. 

Since I am interested in her, I must announce my intention as soon as possible. I have even saved up enough money to buy her theStephanie & Co. diamond ring for the engagement. So, I approach her at the counter and I ask, 

“Do you want me to pay for this bracelet?” 

I expect her to smile at me, but she looks at me blankly. 

Then I hear a voice over my shoulder, 

“Excuse me, is Brian or Joyce attending to this gentleman?”

Both Joyce and I get a shock. I turn my head, and I see Steve Chan signal me to attend to the male customer who has just walked in. Steve Chan gives us the dirty look, to remind us that the customer comes first. 

As usual, Joyce gives her winning smile, as though she has known the customer for a long time. I know that I have lost my chance. I should have asked her just now, as she was walking around. Later on, I will not have the courage to ask her if she wanted to marry me. I am to give Steve Chan my answer by the end of today. I am not sure about resigning, because I don’t want to leave Singapore. If I am in Singapore, I can still walk into Stephanie & Co. to see her anytime.

The new customer wears a Hermes belt and matching shoes, so we know that he could well afford any item in the shop, and we must put on our best sales manner. She always has better skills than I. The customer asks her how much the Atlas watch costs, and 

“Is it still available?” 

“No, I am afraid not, sir,” she replied.

“Can I order it from your headquarters in New York?” he asks. 

“No, I am afraid not, sir,” she is apologetic. 

Tonight, as we work over the jewels to be worn tomorrow by the four of us who work at Stephanie & Co. – Joyce Tang, Gloria Yip, Timothy Lim, Steve Chan, and myself – I find that it is my turn to wear the Atlas watch. I am to wear it for one week before my departure from the company. My last day is on 23 January 2011. I can leave at 1:00 p.m. on that day because it is my last day. 

At the same time, Steve Chan gives me an invitation card. It says: 

Mr. and Mrs. Chan are honoured to invite you, Mr. Brian Wong, to their eldest son Steve Chan Choi Liang and his fiancée Joyce Tang Mei Yin’s wedding dinner reception held at the Dragon & Phoenix Hotel at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday, 23 January 2011. 

Perfect timing.